Do you have one of those seemingly crazy cats who loves your petting one minute and bites your hand the next? While you can't completely turn a "skitty kitty" into a purring slug cat, you can work to increase your pet's tolerance for petting. As with all behavior problems, it's important to have your veterinarian rule out any health issues before you start retraining.

If your cat's aggression has a health-related component, you need to address that problem first. Before you start training, you must recognize that if your cat bites your hand while you're petting him, you've missed more than a couple of messages from him asking you to stop. The key one: a tail twitch that becomes more agitated, and finally escalates into a noticeable thump or thrash.

You should also be aware that some places on his body are more sensitive than others. For a highly reactive cat, restrict your caresses to behind the ears, under the chin or the base of the tail. A long stroke down the back is too much for some kitties, and you're really taking chances when you decide to tickle your cat's tummy. The cats who enjoy it are greatly outnumbered by the cats who'll quickly tire of a tummy rub and seek to stop it with teeth and claws.

Work to build your cat's tolerance to touch over time. When you pick your cat up for a petting session, don't surprise him. Come up on him slowly and pick him up gently, making sure his whole body is supported with a hand under his chest and one beneath his legs.

Pet him in the safe areas on his body only, watching for the first sign of a tail twitch. When you get that first early-warning sign, stop petting and allow him to calm down or leave if he wants to. Don't let it go so far that he feels the need to jump off you quickly or to bite.

The key is to work up to the outskirts of tolerance and stop there, so your cat will learn to trust you in longer sessions. Never hit a cat for biting. If you miss the signs and end up in your cat's non-affectionate embrace, just freeze. Providing no resistance will help calm your cat so he will just let go. If you fight back or physically punish your cat, you are more likely to get bitten or scratched -- he'll feel compelled by instinct and fear to escalate the violence. You'll also undo your good training efforts, and may hurt your relationship with your pet in the long run.

You cat is acting in the only way he knows how. It's up to you to teach him how pleasant petting can be. As any cat lover will tell you, teaching your cat to tolerate petting is well worth the effort -- for the both of you.

What makes one cat more liable to bite than another? The degree of sensitivity has both genetic and social factors. Some cats are born edgy, while others are made that way because of a lack of socialization or proper

training in their kittenhoods. (Never let a kitten come to believe fingers are for chewing on, even in play. Redirect your kitten's playful energy to toys instead.)

Activity levels also play a part in how much petting a cat will tolerate. Heavier, larger cat breeds or mixes are usually more satisfied to be easy-going lap kitties than are the lighter, more willowy ones who like to stay on the move. But with patience, any cat can learn to appreciate petting from the people in his life.

PETS ON THE WEB

Macaws are among our most popular companion birds, beautiful, intelligent and affectionate. From the massive hyacinth macaw -- the largest parrot kept as a pet -- to the more manageable sizes of the "mini" macaws, these birds have plenty of fans worldwide, many of whom no doubt visit Those Majestic Macaws (www.exoticbird.com), a Web site packed with a variety of useful and entertaining information, as well as lots of great avian links. You'll find information on the various species, on macaw-related e-mail lists, breeder referrals, parrot jokes, and recipes for healthy treats and meals for your pet bird. Although I'd like to see a little more information from avian veterinarians -- too much of the health information is from breeders and fanciers, not medical professionals -- the site still has plenty to offer.

THE SCOOP

How old is your cat in "human terms"? Here's a rough way to figure it out: Count the first year of a cat's life as being comparable to the time a human reaches the early stages of adulthood -- the age of 15 or so. The second year of a cat's life picks up some of that maturity and takes a cat to the first stages of full adulthood in humans -- a 2-year-old cat is roughly equivalent to a person in their mid-20s. From there, a "five equals one" rule works pretty well. A cat of 3 is still young, comparable to a person of 29. A 6-year-old cat, similar to a 41-year-old person, is in the throes of middle age; a 12-year-old cat, similar to a 65-year-old person, has earned the right to slow down a little. A cat who lives to be 20 is the feline equivalent of nearly 100 in terms of human lifespan.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: A couple of years ago you shared a recipe for a cake that looks like a cat's litter box. I thought it might be fun to make for my son's Cub Scout troop. You know how boys love to be grossed out! Will you please share the recipe again? -- L. Z., via e-mail

A: You're right about little boys -- most of them love this cake! Adults, on the other hand, often find the very thought of it so disgusting that I once had an editor argue that the recipe wasn't fit for printing in a family newspaper. I think it was the Tootsie Rolls that did her in.

The recipe comes from the files of the Veterinary Information Network (www.vin.com), an online service for veterinary professionals. More than a few veterinarians have used the recipe for open houses in their clinics or hospitals. The most important part of following the recipe? Be sure to use a brand-new litter box and scoop.

LITTER BOX CAKE

1 pkg. spice cake mix

1 pkg. white cake mix

1 pkg. white sandwich cookies

Green food coloring

12 small Tootsie Rolls

1 box vanilla pudding mix (not instant)

1 brand new, freshly washed litter box

1 brand new, freshly washed litter box scoop

Prepare the cake mixes and bake according to their directions. Prepare the pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble. Use a blender on a low setting to crumble the white sandwich cookies in small batches; they tend to stick, so scrape often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup of cookie crumbs, add a few drops of green food coloring and mix by using a fork.

After the cakes cool to room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. Gently combine. Line a new, freshly cleaned litter box with plastic wrap. Put the mixture into the box. Put three unwrapped Tootsie Rolls in a microwave-safe dish and heat until they're soft and pliable. Shape the ends so that they're no longer blunt, curving them slightly. Repeat with three more Tootsie Rolls and bury them in the mixture.

Sprinkle the other half of the cookie crumbs over the top of the mixture. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly over the top so they look like the chlorophyll in some cat-box fillers. Heat the remaining Tootsie Rolls, three at a time, in the microwave until they're almost melted. Taper the ends as before, then plop them on top of the cake and sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Serve with a brand new, freshly washed cat-box scoop.

Q: Our dog's nose is occasionally dry and warm, which I always thought was a sign of illness. He doesn't seem sick, though. Should we be worried? -- R.T., via e-mail

A: Assuming your dog gets a regular check-up and seems fine otherwise, then it's nothing to worry about. If there are symptoms besides "dry nose," though, check with your veterinarian.

A dry nose is not indicative of a fever, despite a widely held belief to the contrary. To determine if your dog's running a fever, insert a thermometer with a little lubricating jelly gently into his fanny. A healthy dog should have a temperature of about 102.5, give or take a degree.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

The e-mail was one of those funny things that arrive unexpected, the joke that you and millions of other people get at roughly the same time, usually in multiple copies.

This one, "for baby boomers," made light of how safety-oriented we are today, how our kids play practically bubble wrapped with protective gear, as opposed to the boomer kids about whom no one worried as long as they were home before dark. I smiled in recognition, remembering the days before children had schedules more complicated than a doctor's, and parents had worries more pressing than the president's.

Until I got to the final line of this celebration of "the good old days": "Our dogs ran loose, and never went to the vet."

Sorry, but there the nostalgia stops being so fun. I remember those days with less fondness. I remember roaming family dogs who died of distemper, being hit by cars or getting lost. I remember fleas running rampant, and the way dogs smelled from untreated skin conditions and rotting teeth. I remember how training a pet used to mean punishing the animal, instead of teaching and rewarding good behavior.

Sorry, but I like leash laws for dogs. I prefer to see animals trained cooperatively, instead of through force and fear. And I much appreciated having a dog who recently lived to be almost 16, happy and healthy until the day before he died, and for that I thank our veterinarians and all the improvements in care that have become common in the last couple of decades.

The good old days? For our pets, they're now. With that in mind, I offer some "bubble-wrap" advice for Halloween, one of those holidays that seems tailor-made for getting unprotected pets in trouble.

The two biggest problems with this ghoulish holiday are frightened pets and poisoned pets -- and animal emergency clinics traditionally see plenty of both. With the increase in activity, cats and dogs get nervous, and some will take off if they can. That means an increase in animals hit by cars.

Animals may also be a cause of injury: All those costumed young visitors can trigger territorial instincts or fear-responses in some dogs, who may then become a bite risk. The best solution for most pets is to confine them for the evening in a crate or a quiet room far from the front door or any holiday festivities.

Many animal-welfare groups warn that black cats are at special risk around Halloween, claiming that cultists pick up the animals for ritual torture. Such concerns have led many shelters to halt the adoption of black cats in the days before Halloween. These cruelties are poorly documented, so it's difficult to say how often they actually occur, if at all. Your black cat is more likely to be killed by a car than a cultist, but the threat of either is more than reason enough to keep him inside.

If you keep your pets confined safely inside the house, you will eliminate one source of risk. Keeping them away from the goodies will take care of the other.

Candy is a problem more for dogs than for cats, because cats are generally picky about what they eat. Not so for most dogs, who'll wolf down candy wrappers and all if given the opportunity, giving many a serious case of what veterinarians call "garbage gut."

Any candy can trigger a bout of potentially serious intestinal upset, but chocolate can do much worse. The small dog who gets a large amount of chocolate could end up dead without prompt veterinary intervention.

Some people put costumes on their dogs – and I'm often among them –- and that's safe if you use common sense. You can find ready-made costumes in most pet stores, in almost as much variety as you'll find for children.

Homemade costumes can be fun, too, and you'll find a surprising number of pet-costume events where you and your dog can show off your handiwork. The standby costume for my black retrievers has always been to put round white stickers on them, creating "reverse Dalmatians." Such a costume meets the common-sense standard: It's comfortable and nonrestrictive, and it doesn't involve anything that could be hazardous.

Any celebration can be made pet-safe with just a few basic precautions. Be sure to take them, because veterinarians would rather hand out candy to children than medicine to pets on Halloween.

PETS ON THE WEB

I recently wrote a couple of columns about keeping the house neat if you have pets, complete with lots of great suggestions from readers. But what about keeping your car free of animal-related dirt (and worse)? National Public Radio's "Car Talk" hosts Tom and Ray Magliozzi have collected some listener suggestions on this very subject and have put them on their Web site (http://cartalk.cars.com/info/fido/car-safe.html). There's information on getting fur off car seats as well as eliminating odors. At the bottom of the page are links to other canine car topics, such as avoiding motion sickness.

THE SCOOP

Some cats have a real problem staying hydrated, especially as they age. You can encourage the consumption of more fluids by offering canned food, which has a higher water content than does kibble. Keeping the water bowl clean and the contents fresh is also important because cats, more than dogs, are very finicky about what they eat and drink. You might also consider the purchase of a pet water fountain, such as the Fresh Flow version made by the pet-products company Petmate. The fountain keeps water fresh by circulating it constantly through a filter, providing cats with an appealing drinking source that might encourage them to lap up more of what they need.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We recently noticed to our dismay that some of the plastic ID tags on our pets were very worn after three or four years, and half the information on them would not have been legible in case of emergency. These need to be checked regularly, and reordered when necessary. Also, we have noticed that the rabies tags from our vet have very sharp edges. Some of our dogs have had had small wounds in their necks from those tags. Perhaps you know someone who would have enough influence to make a change in the design? -- R.L. & C.L., via e-mail

A: It's easier just to leave those rabies tags off. If you have an ID and a municipal license on your pet, you've covered both lost-pet retrieval and rabies awareness needs (since a rabies vaccine is required to get the license).

Pet-recovery expert Liz Blackman, president of the lost-pet tracking service 1-800-Help4Pets, says the key to choosing a tag is how easy it is to read the information it holds. "I discourage the cute tags in favor of visibility and durability," she said. "You want people to be able to read it without taking off the collar or handling the pet much." She added that in her experience, plastic tags are more durable than metal ones when it comes to staying legible longer.

Blackman's service went through several prototypes before choosing a flexible plastic tag that can be easily read day or night, with bright, bold lettering that you don't need to squint to read. 1-800-Help4Pets is a service I have used for years and wholeheartedly endorse. For $20 a year, you get round-the-clock help for your pet if he's found, including the authorization of veterinary care if he's injured. For more information, call 1-800-HELP4PETS for a brochure, or visit www.help4pets.com.

But whatever you do, make sure you keep legible ID tags on your pets' collars. I find the plastic tags need to be replaced every other year, and I keep extras on hand so I don't have to wait to replace a lost, worn or broken one.

"If you need something cute, get a cute collar -- but make sure you get a good tag," says Blackman. "A $100 collar won't save your pet's life, but a $3 tag will."

Q: Someone told me she made a sweater out of her dog's hair, and that just grosses me out. Was she pulling my leg or what? -- S.G., via e-mail

A. Yes, you can make sweaters out of dog fur. If you do a Web search, you'll easily find spinners who'll take the combings from your dog and turn them into beautiful yarn you can use for knitting. It works better with the undercoat of longhaired dogs, but spinners can mix almost any dog fur with the fur of other animals to make yarn.

As for the "gross" factor: What would make dog-hair yarn any more distasteful than yarn from a sheep or goat? It's all nice and clean when it's ready to use.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

In a previous column, I shared ideas offered by readers for coping with the housekeeping challenges posed by pets. The suggestions ranged from such preventive strategies as covering furniture with washable throws to after-mess cleanups with both brand-name products and their generic alternatives.

This week there is more help from readers, including suggestions for getting pets themselves to help prevent mess. The top reader suggestion in that category? Training dogs to stop just inside the door and wait until all paws have been toweled off.

This popular suggestion brought a smile to my face, in memory of my grandmother and of Lance, the first dog I owned as an adult. They've both been gone for years, but they were so close I often think of them together, even now.

For a while when I was in college, my grandmother graciously allowed us both to move in with her, a decision for which I never did give her enough credit or thanks.

A frugal, fastidious woman, she'd saved for years to replace her worn carpets, and had done so in a pristine off-white just a few months before she agreed to let me move in, dog in tow. She loved us both, but didn't want the carpets ruined, so she quickly taught Lance to wait on a mat and lift each of his small white paws in turn as she wiped them off oh-so-carefully. The dog was himself as fastidious as a cat, and I came to believe he thought of her attending him in such a way was not a bother, but a service. He hated mud on his paws every bit as much as she did.

Even if you don't want to go to the trouble of wiping off paws, strategically placed mats can help catch a lot of dirt, and that was another suggestion of many readers. Mats can be placed both outside and just inside the door, so you have two chances to knock the dirt off flying feet. (Keeping the fur trimmed on the feet and in between the toes will help as well.) Many readers pointed out how important it is to the cause of neatness to keep mats under pet-food and water bowls, and areas where pets sleep.

Trying to keep cats off the bed or couch? A couple of readers use heavy plastic tablecloths, the felt-backed kind you'd buy for picnic tables. Cats don't much like the feel of them underfoot, in the same way that they don't like foil on the corners of furniture they'd like to use as scratching posts. And even if pets get up on the plastic tablecloths and hurl hair balls, the material will wipe clean easily.

About those hair balls ... some readers had suggestions for cutting down their frequency and minimizing their damage.

"The availability of grain sprouts growing in a pot for a cat to nibble on really cuts down on the hair-ball problem in cats," writes Francine Ryan, who also recommends frequent combing and brushing to keep hair balls and shedding to a minimum. A variation on that theme came from a person whose e-mail didn't include her name. "Choosing a brand of dry cat food that doesn't have a lot of dyes in it will help prevent stains on the carpet if your cat throws it up," she wrote.

Keep those suggestions coming, and I'll drop them in as space allows.

PETS ON THE WEB

Alley Cat Allies (www.alleycat.org) is a group advocating for the humane treatment of feral cats -- animals many people see as pests. The group argues that removing cats gone wild doesn't get rid of the problem, and that more cats will move in to any vacated space. What they advocate instead is a program called "trap, neuter and release," which allows non-reproducing cats to "hold space" in an area, allowing populations to fall humanely. Cat colonies are then managed by volunteers, who keep the animals healthy and fed to minimize the potential for damage and complaints

THE SCOOP

With colder weather fast approaching, it seems appropriate that a book should debut detailing the making of dog sweaters. "Dogs in Knits: 17 Projects for Our Best Friends" (Interweave Press, $18.95), by Judith L. Swartz, offers colorful projects ranging from dog sweaters for every canine body type from short and stubby to long and lean, and to blankets and pillows for dog beds. The full-color book shows a picture of each project (on some very cute dogs) and offers detailed instructions for completion. While most healthy dogs don't need sweaters, slender breeds such as greyhounds and whippets often do, as do pets who are old or not in the best of health.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I know you always give people warnings appropriate to the change of season, such as those on heat in the summer, antifreeze in the winter, etc. I wonder if you've warned people about the risk that clothes dryers pose to cats. Last year my teenage daughter threw some clothes in a still-warm dryer and turned it on, not realizing our cat Tuffy was inside. We'll never forget how awful it was when we realized what had happened. Would you please spread the word? -- J.D., via e-mail

A: Cats love warm hiding places, and a dryer full of soft clothes can be attractive. It's easy to throw more clothes in, close the door and turn on the dryer without noticing a cat inside. I know of two people who lost pets in this awful way, as well as several other readers who've written after such a loss.

Prevention is simple: Keep the dryer door closed and always check for your cat -- just in case. Keep an eye out, too, for cats holed up in any warm spot, including under the hood of a car. Thump on the hood or the side of an appliance if you're not sure, to startle the cat into skedaddling.

Q: I've never heard of anyone else with the problem we have. Our dog starts whining and barking when my husband and I are making love. It's getting worse, and my husband is losing his patience. Should we banish her from the bedroom? We don't have any children for her to sleep with, so she'd be alone. How about getting a second dog and teaching the two of them to sleep together downstairs? I'd love to have a second little dog, and am working on it slowly because my husband isn't really a dog person. This behavior isn't helping the situation, to say the least! -- C.I., via e-mail

A: You've never heard of the problem because nobody talks about it, but I get a handful of questions of this type every year. Anonymously, of course.

Bedroom disagreements are common when it comes to pets. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from people whose relatively new sweetheart doesn't want to share the bed with the pets who have been there for years.

I know some people who won't compromise -- if the new relationship doesn't include pets staying on the bed, the new person has to go. I know others who would dump their pets in the blink of an eye if the new love interest wants it. I'm guessing most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Every situation is unique and must be solved through compromise and, often, trial and error. In the case of allergies, for example, pets can often be tolerated well overall by the one with sneezing and wheezing if the bedroom is declared off-limits to animals. And some people are such light sleepers that having animals in the room keeps them from having a restful night. And then there are situations such as yours, where the animals distract from romantic endeavors or ruin the ability of a couple to be spontaneous.

In your case, a comfy bed for your dog downstairs may well be the commonsense solution. Maybe with an end to your bedroom squabbles there will one day be children with whom your pet can share a bed. Or maybe with the better mood your husband will be in, you can add another small dog in short order so your pet will have company downstairs.

Rest assured that in any case, you dog will adapt to sleeping downstairs better than your husband will to trying to make love with a yapping dog in the room.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600