The e-mail was one of those funny things that arrive unexpected, the joke that you and millions of other people get at roughly the same time, usually in multiple copies.

This one, "for baby boomers," made light of how safety-oriented we are today, how our kids play practically bubble wrapped with protective gear, as opposed to the boomer kids about whom no one worried as long as they were home before dark. I smiled in recognition, remembering the days before children had schedules more complicated than a doctor's, and parents had worries more pressing than the president's.

Until I got to the final line of this celebration of "the good old days": "Our dogs ran loose, and never went to the vet."

Sorry, but there the nostalgia stops being so fun. I remember those days with less fondness. I remember roaming family dogs who died of distemper, being hit by cars or getting lost. I remember fleas running rampant, and the way dogs smelled from untreated skin conditions and rotting teeth. I remember how training a pet used to mean punishing the animal, instead of teaching and rewarding good behavior.

Sorry, but I like leash laws for dogs. I prefer to see animals trained cooperatively, instead of through force and fear. And I much appreciated having a dog who recently lived to be almost 16, happy and healthy until the day before he died, and for that I thank our veterinarians and all the improvements in care that have become common in the last couple of decades.

The good old days? For our pets, they're now. With that in mind, I offer some "bubble-wrap" advice for Halloween, one of those holidays that seems tailor-made for getting unprotected pets in trouble.

The two biggest problems with this ghoulish holiday are frightened pets and poisoned pets -- and animal emergency clinics traditionally see plenty of both. With the increase in activity, cats and dogs get nervous, and some will take off if they can. That means an increase in animals hit by cars.

Animals may also be a cause of injury: All those costumed young visitors can trigger territorial instincts or fear-responses in some dogs, who may then become a bite risk. The best solution for most pets is to confine them for the evening in a crate or a quiet room far from the front door or any holiday festivities.

Many animal-welfare groups warn that black cats are at special risk around Halloween, claiming that cultists pick up the animals for ritual torture. Such concerns have led many shelters to halt the adoption of black cats in the days before Halloween. These cruelties are poorly documented, so it's difficult to say how often they actually occur, if at all. Your black cat is more likely to be killed by a car than a cultist, but the threat of either is more than reason enough to keep him inside.

If you keep your pets confined safely inside the house, you will eliminate one source of risk. Keeping them away from the goodies will take care of the other.

Candy is a problem more for dogs than for cats, because cats are generally picky about what they eat. Not so for most dogs, who'll wolf down candy wrappers and all if given the opportunity, giving many a serious case of what veterinarians call "garbage gut."

Any candy can trigger a bout of potentially serious intestinal upset, but chocolate can do much worse. The small dog who gets a large amount of chocolate could end up dead without prompt veterinary intervention.

Some people put costumes on their dogs – and I'm often among them –- and that's safe if you use common sense. You can find ready-made costumes in most pet stores, in almost as much variety as you'll find for children.

Homemade costumes can be fun, too, and you'll find a surprising number of pet-costume events where you and your dog can show off your handiwork. The standby costume for my black retrievers has always been to put round white stickers on them, creating "reverse Dalmatians." Such a costume meets the common-sense standard: It's comfortable and nonrestrictive, and it doesn't involve anything that could be hazardous.

Any celebration can be made pet-safe with just a few basic precautions. Be sure to take them, because veterinarians would rather hand out candy to children than medicine to pets on Halloween.

PETS ON THE WEB

I recently wrote a couple of columns about keeping the house neat if you have pets, complete with lots of great suggestions from readers. But what about keeping your car free of animal-related dirt (and worse)? National Public Radio's "Car Talk" hosts Tom and Ray Magliozzi have collected some listener suggestions on this very subject and have put them on their Web site (http://cartalk.cars.com/info/fido/car-safe.html). There's information on getting fur off car seats as well as eliminating odors. At the bottom of the page are links to other canine car topics, such as avoiding motion sickness.

THE SCOOP

Some cats have a real problem staying hydrated, especially as they age. You can encourage the consumption of more fluids by offering canned food, which has a higher water content than does kibble. Keeping the water bowl clean and the contents fresh is also important because cats, more than dogs, are very finicky about what they eat and drink. You might also consider the purchase of a pet water fountain, such as the Fresh Flow version made by the pet-products company Petmate. The fountain keeps water fresh by circulating it constantly through a filter, providing cats with an appealing drinking source that might encourage them to lap up more of what they need.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We recently noticed to our dismay that some of the plastic ID tags on our pets were very worn after three or four years, and half the information on them would not have been legible in case of emergency. These need to be checked regularly, and reordered when necessary. Also, we have noticed that the rabies tags from our vet have very sharp edges. Some of our dogs have had had small wounds in their necks from those tags. Perhaps you know someone who would have enough influence to make a change in the design? -- R.L. & C.L., via e-mail

A: It's easier just to leave those rabies tags off. If you have an ID and a municipal license on your pet, you've covered both lost-pet retrieval and rabies awareness needs (since a rabies vaccine is required to get the license).

Pet-recovery expert Liz Blackman, president of the lost-pet tracking service 1-800-Help4Pets, says the key to choosing a tag is how easy it is to read the information it holds. "I discourage the cute tags in favor of visibility and durability," she said. "You want people to be able to read it without taking off the collar or handling the pet much." She added that in her experience, plastic tags are more durable than metal ones when it comes to staying legible longer.

Blackman's service went through several prototypes before choosing a flexible plastic tag that can be easily read day or night, with bright, bold lettering that you don't need to squint to read. 1-800-Help4Pets is a service I have used for years and wholeheartedly endorse. For $20 a year, you get round-the-clock help for your pet if he's found, including the authorization of veterinary care if he's injured. For more information, call 1-800-HELP4PETS for a brochure, or visit www.help4pets.com.

But whatever you do, make sure you keep legible ID tags on your pets' collars. I find the plastic tags need to be replaced every other year, and I keep extras on hand so I don't have to wait to replace a lost, worn or broken one.

"If you need something cute, get a cute collar -- but make sure you get a good tag," says Blackman. "A $100 collar won't save your pet's life, but a $3 tag will."

Q: Someone told me she made a sweater out of her dog's hair, and that just grosses me out. Was she pulling my leg or what? -- S.G., via e-mail

A. Yes, you can make sweaters out of dog fur. If you do a Web search, you'll easily find spinners who'll take the combings from your dog and turn them into beautiful yarn you can use for knitting. It works better with the undercoat of longhaired dogs, but spinners can mix almost any dog fur with the fur of other animals to make yarn.

As for the "gross" factor: What would make dog-hair yarn any more distasteful than yarn from a sheep or goat? It's all nice and clean when it's ready to use.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

In a previous column, I shared ideas offered by readers for coping with the housekeeping challenges posed by pets. The suggestions ranged from such preventive strategies as covering furniture with washable throws to after-mess cleanups with both brand-name products and their generic alternatives.

This week there is more help from readers, including suggestions for getting pets themselves to help prevent mess. The top reader suggestion in that category? Training dogs to stop just inside the door and wait until all paws have been toweled off.

This popular suggestion brought a smile to my face, in memory of my grandmother and of Lance, the first dog I owned as an adult. They've both been gone for years, but they were so close I often think of them together, even now.

For a while when I was in college, my grandmother graciously allowed us both to move in with her, a decision for which I never did give her enough credit or thanks.

A frugal, fastidious woman, she'd saved for years to replace her worn carpets, and had done so in a pristine off-white just a few months before she agreed to let me move in, dog in tow. She loved us both, but didn't want the carpets ruined, so she quickly taught Lance to wait on a mat and lift each of his small white paws in turn as she wiped them off oh-so-carefully. The dog was himself as fastidious as a cat, and I came to believe he thought of her attending him in such a way was not a bother, but a service. He hated mud on his paws every bit as much as she did.

Even if you don't want to go to the trouble of wiping off paws, strategically placed mats can help catch a lot of dirt, and that was another suggestion of many readers. Mats can be placed both outside and just inside the door, so you have two chances to knock the dirt off flying feet. (Keeping the fur trimmed on the feet and in between the toes will help as well.) Many readers pointed out how important it is to the cause of neatness to keep mats under pet-food and water bowls, and areas where pets sleep.

Trying to keep cats off the bed or couch? A couple of readers use heavy plastic tablecloths, the felt-backed kind you'd buy for picnic tables. Cats don't much like the feel of them underfoot, in the same way that they don't like foil on the corners of furniture they'd like to use as scratching posts. And even if pets get up on the plastic tablecloths and hurl hair balls, the material will wipe clean easily.

About those hair balls ... some readers had suggestions for cutting down their frequency and minimizing their damage.

"The availability of grain sprouts growing in a pot for a cat to nibble on really cuts down on the hair-ball problem in cats," writes Francine Ryan, who also recommends frequent combing and brushing to keep hair balls and shedding to a minimum. A variation on that theme came from a person whose e-mail didn't include her name. "Choosing a brand of dry cat food that doesn't have a lot of dyes in it will help prevent stains on the carpet if your cat throws it up," she wrote.

Keep those suggestions coming, and I'll drop them in as space allows.

PETS ON THE WEB

Alley Cat Allies (www.alleycat.org) is a group advocating for the humane treatment of feral cats -- animals many people see as pests. The group argues that removing cats gone wild doesn't get rid of the problem, and that more cats will move in to any vacated space. What they advocate instead is a program called "trap, neuter and release," which allows non-reproducing cats to "hold space" in an area, allowing populations to fall humanely. Cat colonies are then managed by volunteers, who keep the animals healthy and fed to minimize the potential for damage and complaints

THE SCOOP

With colder weather fast approaching, it seems appropriate that a book should debut detailing the making of dog sweaters. "Dogs in Knits: 17 Projects for Our Best Friends" (Interweave Press, $18.95), by Judith L. Swartz, offers colorful projects ranging from dog sweaters for every canine body type from short and stubby to long and lean, and to blankets and pillows for dog beds. The full-color book shows a picture of each project (on some very cute dogs) and offers detailed instructions for completion. While most healthy dogs don't need sweaters, slender breeds such as greyhounds and whippets often do, as do pets who are old or not in the best of health.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I know you always give people warnings appropriate to the change of season, such as those on heat in the summer, antifreeze in the winter, etc. I wonder if you've warned people about the risk that clothes dryers pose to cats. Last year my teenage daughter threw some clothes in a still-warm dryer and turned it on, not realizing our cat Tuffy was inside. We'll never forget how awful it was when we realized what had happened. Would you please spread the word? -- J.D., via e-mail

A: Cats love warm hiding places, and a dryer full of soft clothes can be attractive. It's easy to throw more clothes in, close the door and turn on the dryer without noticing a cat inside. I know of two people who lost pets in this awful way, as well as several other readers who've written after such a loss.

Prevention is simple: Keep the dryer door closed and always check for your cat -- just in case. Keep an eye out, too, for cats holed up in any warm spot, including under the hood of a car. Thump on the hood or the side of an appliance if you're not sure, to startle the cat into skedaddling.

Q: I've never heard of anyone else with the problem we have. Our dog starts whining and barking when my husband and I are making love. It's getting worse, and my husband is losing his patience. Should we banish her from the bedroom? We don't have any children for her to sleep with, so she'd be alone. How about getting a second dog and teaching the two of them to sleep together downstairs? I'd love to have a second little dog, and am working on it slowly because my husband isn't really a dog person. This behavior isn't helping the situation, to say the least! -- C.I., via e-mail

A: You've never heard of the problem because nobody talks about it, but I get a handful of questions of this type every year. Anonymously, of course.

Bedroom disagreements are common when it comes to pets. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from people whose relatively new sweetheart doesn't want to share the bed with the pets who have been there for years.

I know some people who won't compromise -- if the new relationship doesn't include pets staying on the bed, the new person has to go. I know others who would dump their pets in the blink of an eye if the new love interest wants it. I'm guessing most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Every situation is unique and must be solved through compromise and, often, trial and error. In the case of allergies, for example, pets can often be tolerated well overall by the one with sneezing and wheezing if the bedroom is declared off-limits to animals. And some people are such light sleepers that having animals in the room keeps them from having a restful night. And then there are situations such as yours, where the animals distract from romantic endeavors or ruin the ability of a couple to be spontaneous.

In your case, a comfy bed for your dog downstairs may well be the commonsense solution. Maybe with an end to your bedroom squabbles there will one day be children with whom your pet can share a bed. Or maybe with the better mood your husband will be in, you can add another small dog in short order so your pet will have company downstairs.

Rest assured that in any case, you dog will adapt to sleeping downstairs better than your husband will to trying to make love with a yapping dog in the room.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Is it possible to have pets and a clean house? You bet it is! When I asked for cleaning tips a couple of columns ago, I heard from readers who manage to keep things neat with some creativity and not all that much extra effort. The common themes from the responses:

-- Choose flooring and upholstery that are easy to clean and keep clean, ban pets from areas with less pet-friendly furnishings or cover those furnishings with washable throws.

-- Get on pet stains right away, with as much gusto as you can. A stain delayed is a stain set for good.

-- In terms of flooring, readers raved over tile, wood laminates (like Pergo) or linoleum.

-- Carpets? Bad news. And one reader summed it up for many pet lovers by wondering what to put in once the carpet comes out.

"My carpets would send any sane person to run screaming in horror from my floors," writes Rochele Smith. "Light beige ... so filthy I can hardly bear to walk across the floor. Just had them professionally cleaned for the umpteenth time and they were dirty again within a week." Smith wasn't interested in tile because she felt it would be too cold, but other readers got around that problem with the use of area or throw rugs, which are also easier to remove for cleaning.

That's my solution, by the way. Although I lust for Pergo, I make do with the original hardwoods in my 60-year-old home, with washable throw rugs placed here and there for color and warmth. Pet hair comes up pretty easily with a broom followed by a swipe from one of those new damp-cloth-on-a-stick devices, such as the Swiffer.

Some readers with carpets swore by brand-name products such as Nature's Miracle or Anti-Icky-Poo. The latter may be one of the dopiest names ever invented, but the product is recommended by many behaviorists and veterinarians, and endorsed enthusiastically by several readers. Others use generic household products to clean pet mess from carpet, such as white vinegar, hydrogen peroxide and soap in various combinations.

"First get rid of the solid mess, then mix one-quarter cup white vinegar with one quart of very hot water. Then, using a dry cloth (preferably the same color as your carpet), scrub the area with this mixture several times, but without getting the carpet soggy," writes Laurie Heidinger, who notes that her technique is not only effective, but also inexpensive. "It works every time for me, both getting rid of the smell and the stains. I learned this clean-up tip for any kind of animal mess from a professional carpet cleaner."

Other readers swear by wet-dry vacuums, and steam cleaners of both the larger and hand-held varieties. For furniture, the recommendations were similar -– when possible, get upholstery that stands up to pets; otherwise use washable covers to protect your furniture.

The best upholstery, by a fairly wide consensus, is leather, the higher the quality the better. Pet fur, stains and odor find no home on good leather, which wipes clean with a damp cloth. If leather doesn't appeal, cover your furniture with washable throws. A few readers recommended baby blankets or old linens, but I've had the best experience buying attractive covers made for this purpose. The ones I have are from Doctors Foster and Smith (www.drsfostersmith.com), but I've also seen comparable products from catalogs such as Orvis (www.orvis.com). I've had my set for almost three years, and they still look great after countless washings.

I'll have more tips in the next column, including readers' suggestions for how to train pets to help keep things neater.

PETS ON THE WEB

Make no mistake, Michele Welton is trying to sell her book through her Web site (www.yourpurebredpuppy.com). But unlike a lot of promotional Web sites, this one offers tons of good information on dog breeds, breeders and much, much more. Such as profiles on all American Kennel Club breeds, plus a couple dozen more. Such as information on how to find a good breeder, why you should avoid other puppy sources, and how to choose the right pup from a litter of healthy, well-bred animals.

Some of her information is controversial, such as her distaste for commercial pet foods and her belief in holistic pet care, but her information on choosing a breed, finding a breeder and selecting a puppy is flawless. Her book, "Your Purebred Puppy: A Buyer's Guide," is now in its second edition, and remains one of the titles I recommend most often. (In fact, there's an endorsement quote from me on the site, from a review I wrote of the first edition of the book more than 10 years ago.)

THE SCOOP

There are better ways of training a pet than with physical punishment, and with no animal is this more true than with a cat. Hitting a cat is counterproductive –- instead of teaching your pet what you want, you'll teach your pet that you're a big, dangerous bully. That's not going to create a loving relationship with your pet, and it may lead to your ending up with a cat who bites or scratches out of fear and self-defense. Train your cat through positive reinforcement methods –- reward good behaviors with treats and affection, and with setting up situations that help to train the cat, such as keeping the litter box clean and in a place where the cat feels safe and comfortable using it.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: My husband is interested in getting a blue-and-gold macaw. I'm not in favor of this for several reasons, the most significant being that I'm afraid of big parrots. I also know that they're noisy and messy. And, I also figure that since my husband is almost 60 and I'm considerably younger (42), I'll also end up with a bird I never wanted after my husband dies, since I've read that macaws can live for decades. I have two questions for you: First, how long is a bird like this likely to live? And second, how can I convince my husband that a cat would make a much more sensible pet? –- B.W., via e-mail

A: Generally speaking, the larger the parrot, the longer the life span. The larger of the macaws -– such as the blue-and-gold and the scarlet -– can live to be 50, 60 even 70 years of age. Some live to be even older: My "Birds For Dummies" co-author, avian veterinarian Dr. Brian Speer, had, as a patient, a scarlet macaw who had been sold as a wild-caught adult in an Oakland, Calif., pet store in the early 1920s. The bird was at least 75 when he died, and maybe years older.

Since I'm guessing your husband isn't interested in getting a cat instead of a bird, what if the two of you compromised on a smaller, quieter, less messy bird with a shorter life span? Although almost all parrots live longer than a cat or a dog, there are a few who aren't very long-lived when compared to the macaws.

Among the relatively easy-keepers with life spans of around 20 years are the cockatiel, many varieties of parakeet and the lovebird. Some birds with longer life spans but relatively easy to live with personalities include the Senegal and Pionus parrots, both of which are known to be relatively quiet and gentle.

You may find one of these smaller parrots less frightening, and find yourself becoming quite charmed by their endearing personalities. But if you remain opposed to getting any bird, it would be better if you didn't get one at all. My experience is that if one-half of a couple is dead-set against a pet, that pet will end up looking for a new home in short order.

Q: We just adopted a cat from the humane society. She is a combination of solid gold, black and white with some tiger stripes on her arms. The shelter described her as a tortie, then changed it to calico. What is the difference between a calico and a tortie, or are they the same? Do the terms calico and tortie refer to a breed or a color? –- E.P., via e-mail

A: Calico and tortoiseshell (or tortie) refer to a pattern of markings, not to a breed. The link between them is orange fur, which can run from a very pale tan to a bright, rich rust. The two marking patterns are genetically similar, but differ in the way they are expressed on the cat. On calico cats the orange, black and white colors are distinct patches; on tortoiseshells the colors are swirled together. Since you describe the patches as solid, your cat is likely more calico than anything else, with some tabby genes thrown into the mix for good measure (because of the striping).

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600