In the last couple of years I've lost rather a lot of weight in a dramatically permanent way -- through surgery -- and gained a significantly more dog-friendly life.

No more driving to the edge of a park -- when I wasn't too exhausted to do even that -- and throwing a ball for the two big dogs. Now we walk for miles together. Once I thought wistfully how good the smart and athletic younger retriever Heather would be at the sport of dog agility, and wouldn't it be nice if I were capable of even walking around the training area with her? Now I can run an agility course, and we'll be starting classes this spring.

I'm happier and healthier now, and so are the dogs. But there is a small cloud over this sunny situation: Pets, I'm finding, surely complicate dating.

The fact that I'm in a position now to find this out is very good news, and I realize that. I weigh less and feel better than I did in high school some 25 years ago, and look better than I have in my entire life. But for the life of me I cannot understand why men who know that I write columns and books about pets would be surprised to find out that I have them, and are even more taken aback by the fact that they're a non-negotiable part of my life.

My pets love me unconditionally, no more or no less now than before my physical transformation. Setting aside the fact that I truly care about animals, what sort of person would I be to reward my pets for their loyalty by dumping them in favor of someone who wouldn't have asked me out on a bet before?

Still, just by the odds alone, I ought to be meeting some animal lovers. But even when I seem to have done so, things have a way of proving otherwise. For example, there was the man who said he loved dogs when we met, but the first words out of his mouth when the dogs and I greeted him at the front door were: "Oh! I didn't realize you let them in the house. Ugh."

I sighed and mentally crossed him off the list. Can you imagine what he'd say if he knew the dogs slept on the bed?

Then there was the man who found -- and carefully removed -- the single stray strand of dog hair that remained on my jacket after I'd lint-rollered myself from head to toe before meeting him. I shuddered to think what he'd think about the dog hair in my house, which is far more pervasive despite my best efforts there, too.

The world is full of pet lovers; I know this is true because I get hundreds of letters from them every month. So where are the pet-loving men when a pet-loving woman is thinking about dating? Instead, I seem to be a magnet for every man who sneezes at the very mention of a cat, cannot fathom the charm of parrots, or professes dogs to be dirty, smelly and not fit for human companionship.

Sure, I know that loving -- or at least tolerating -- pets is only one piece of the puzzle that is a successful relationship. Common values, shared interests, politics and more all factor in, as well. But I also know that I would rather spend the rest of my life dateless than give up my pets, even as I secretly hope I won't remain single forever. Surely, things will work out as they're meant to, with human and animal companionship both in my life.

For now, though, I'm just going to stop worrying about it. Unless ... say, you wouldn't happen to know a nice single veterinarian, would you?

PETS ON THE WEB

I take a lot of pet-related publications, everything from The Bark (a literary journal for dog lovers) to Cat Fancy, Dog World, Bird Talk and more. But month in and month out, the one publication I can't wait to open is the Whole Dog Journal, an advertising-free newsletter that covers the best in so-called "alternative" health care and nutrition, reward-based training, and great gear for dogs and the people who love them.

The WDJ has a wonderful Web site (www.whole-dog-journal.com), which offers to subscribers all current content for free and archived articles at a small charge, and also provides non-subscribers with a way to order content article by article, albeit at a rate that's high enough to encourage subscribing. Great links, too! Regular mail subscriptions are $24 for 12 issues by writing: P.O. Box 420235, Palm Coast, FL 32142-02345. Or by phone: (800) 829-9165. They can also be ordered through the Web site.

THE SCOOP

No matter how thoroughly your pet licks clean the food dish, it's not clean enough to use again without washing. That goes for water dishes, too, that often get added to but never emptied for days at a time. I've seen water dishes with the beginnings of algae colonies forming on the sides and the bottom -- who'd want to drink from that?!

Pick up your pet's food dish after every meal, scrub and wash in hot water and soap. The water dish should get the same treatment, on a daily basis. Better still, run them through the hottest cycle of the dishwasher to get them really clean and sterilized. Stainless steel or heavy plastic "crock-style" dishes are best for frequent cleaning: They last forever and stand up well to the abuse a pet can dish out.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We have an affectionate and playful miniature lop rabbit who lives in the house and is a full member of the family -- no outside hutch for her! One of my daughter's classmates has a rabbit the family no longer wants, and my daughter is asking us to adopt him. I've said yes, but the new rabbit is a male, and we certainly don't want the pair of them to do what comes naturally (if you get my drift). Can rabbits be spayed and neutered? -- B.W., via e-mail

A: Yes, rabbits certainly can be altered. And just as with dogs and cats, neutering and spaying eliminates many health and behavior problems. Female rabbits, for example, are at a high risk for uterine cancer, a leading killer of these pets over the age of 2. Spaying also removes the potential for common and potentially lethal reproductive-system infections. Besides extending your pet's lifespan, altering eliminates sex-related behavior problems. Sexually mature rabbits can be territorial or even aggressive, and may spray urine. Put simply: Spayed and neutered rabbits make better pets.

Despite all the benefits, however, anesthesia is a little trickier with rabbits than with dogs and cats. Be sure you're dealing with a veterinarian who is experienced with rabbits, and ask about anesthesia, listening for the magic word: isoflurane, which is preferred for use with rabbits. The final safety precaution is yours. Follow your veterinarian's pre- and post-operative directions precisely.

Bless your kind heart in giving an unwanted rabbit a second chance. Too many parents dump pets when the child for whom they were purchased loses interest. The message this sends to children -- living things are disposable -- is perfectly dreadful.

Q: I disagree with your enthusiasm for collars. I've owned cats for years, and I never keep collars on them. It's too dangerous! Collars can get caught on things and kill a pet. Will you share that information? -- D.W., Santa Rosa, Calif.

A: Some people resist cat collars because they're afraid their roaming pet will get the collar caught and become trapped. That's why cat collars are equipped with elastic, so the cat can slip out of them when necessary. The reason why collars are so very important is because of ID. If your pet doesn't have an ID tag, the chances of him getting home if he's lost drop dramatically. If your cat is indoors full time and you're absolutely sure he'll never get out to wander, you don't need to put a collar on him. Otherwise, you do.

Years ago, a shelter director told me that she had never, ever pulled a cat skeleton out of a tree after the animal had been caught there by a collar, but every day she saw animals put down because their owners couldn't be found. It's all a matter of comparing risk.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

It's a New Year's tradition around my home, one that has outlived a handful of pets, but it still works to ensure the safety of the animals who share their lives with me now.

Yes, dear readers, it's time for the annual New Year's neck check. I started pushing for this tradition more than a decade ago, and I still believe it's as important as ever. Like checking your smoke detector batteries twice a year when the time changes, checking your pet's collar and tags annually will ensure that an important safety measure is in place should you and your pet ever need it.

Why New Year's? Because it's easy to remember, and besides, what else are you going to do besides eat, drink and watch football?

Start your neck check with a look at your pet's collar first. A properly fitted collar is important, but so too is the right type. For dogs, a buckled or snap-together collar made of leather or nylon webbing is the best choice, and the proper fit is comfortably close but not too snug. Make sure your dog's not wearing a "choke" collar. These are for training and walking only, and they pose a life-threatening hazard if left on an unsupervised dog. Cats should be wearing a collar with an elastic section that will allow your pet to wriggle free if he gets caught on something.

If you do have the right kind of collar on your pet, take a minute to look at the holes and the fasteners. The collar is weakest at these spots, so if you see signs of excessive wear or strain, you'll need to replace the collar soon.

If the collar passes muster, it's time to look at the tags. A license is great, but since many lost pets are picked up by people in the neighborhood, it's a good idea to supplement the license with an ID tag that has a couple of phone numbers -- yours and the number of a friend or relative. Check to make sure the information is current and legible, and if not, make a note to order a new tag right away.

My pets also carry tags from a company I really like, 1-800-HELP4PETS. The service, which costs $25 per year, is available 24 hours a day to help reunite you with a lost pet. It can also authorize veterinary care if your lost pet is injured and you cannot be immediately located. (More information is available by calling the 1-800 number, or by visiting www.help4pets.com on the Web.)

Don't delay in fixing any problems you find with your pet's neck check. Problems with collars and tags are easy to fix -- and collars and tags are the cheapest insurance you can buy against loss or accidents.

A final note: A microchip is another form of identification well worth considering. The tiny transponder, about the size of a grain of rice, is inserted by a veterinarian over the shoulder blades of dogs and cats, or in the breast of birds, and serves as a permanent identification that cannot be slipped off or removed.

If you have a microchip implanted in your pet, it's not possible to check for the chip as part of your New Year's neck check. But do make a mental note to ask your veterinarian to scan for it the next time your pet visits. Most veterinarians have hand-held devices that can detect the presence of a chip, and can determine if it has stayed put in a spot where it can be found by shelter workers, should your pet ever stray.

Remember, though, that a microchip doesn't take the place of ID tags. They complement each other, and even if your pet is chipped, he should still wear tags.

PETS ON THE WEB

Is it too soon to start planning your summer vacation? Never! If you want to go someplace where you won't have to leave your pets behind, you'll want to check out a couple of Web sites to help you plan a pet-friendly trip.

Both the Travel Pets (www.travelpets.com) and Pets Welcome (www.petswelcome.com) sites offer advice on going here and there safely with your pet, as well as listings of pet-friendly lodgings worldwide. Whether you're looking to head to a posh city hotel, beach resort or rustic mountain campground, you'll find the information you need to take along your pet.

THE SCOOP

A good way to evaluate the health of a bird is to pay attention to what your pet leaves at the bottom of the cage. Birds produce feces with three components: The stool, which is semisolid and dark in color; the urates, which are a loose, whitish solid; and urine, which is nearly a clear liquid. Get to know how your bird's wastes look normally, as well as the usual variations -- some foods can change the color of the stools, or increase the amount of urine. Once you know what's typical for your bird, you can spot abnormalities that might be the early indication of a serious illness developing.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We lost two of our three cats to antifreeze poisoning. Our car was leaking fluid onto the driveway, and we didn't realize the cats had gotten into the stuff until they were sick. The veterinarian did what she could, but in the end, the youngest one made it, but the older two did not. We are left with broken hearts and a huge veterinary bill.

Do you think we can sue the antifreeze company for the veterinary bills? We didn't know that antifreeze was poisonous, or we would have been more careful. How can they be allowed to put a product like this on the market? -- D.C., via e-mail

A: I'm so sorry for your loss. As you've found out the hard way, it doesn't take much antifreeze to kill a cat. An animal can get a deadly dose just by walking through a puddle and licking his paws clean afterward.

I'm not an attorney, so I certainly can't speak as to what grounds you have for bringing a suit against the manufacturer of the antifreeze that was in your car. But I do know that we often must use products that are dangerous and that sometimes pets -- or people -- are accidentally harmed as a result. The responsibility largely falls to us to use dangerous products in as safe a manner as possible.

There is a less dangerous antifreeze on the market, made with propylene glycol instead of the ethylene glycol in the traditional product. You can check for it at your auto-supply store. But even if you buy the safer product, there's no guarantee your neighbors will, leaving open the possibility that your pet might get poisoned next door.

Really, the best you can do is to educate yourself as to the dangers your family (two-legged and four-legged both) faces, and then do what you can to prevent disaster. The world is a dangerous place, after all, and all the lawsuits in the world won't change that.

The best strategy would be to keep your cats indoors and your dogs leashed when off your property. And be sure in the area you can control -- your own driveway and garage -- you clean any coolant spills promptly.

Q: Would you please settle an argument I'm having with my husband? Our kids have a pair of pet rabbits. I say it's fine to put their waste into the compost pile. My husband says I shouldn't. Who's right? -- O.W., via e-mail

A: You are. It's perfectly OK to add the rabbit droppings to your compost pile. If you go to a garden center, you'll pay good money for the composted waste of herbivores. The decomposed droppings of these nonmeat-eating animals safely add nutrients to the soil.

What about dogs and cats? The droppings of carnivores carry disease and parasites that can be transmitted to humans, so these wastes should not be put into the compost pile.

You can decompose the waste of dogs and cats using contraptions designed for that purpose, but the process is for your convenience and for reducing the amount of waste bound for the landfill -- not to produce fertilizer for your garden.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

In the aftermath of Sept. 11, we opened our hearts and our wallets in a show of support and generosity that was truly inspiring -- but in so doing, we stopped paying attention to those charities that weren't involved in the post-attack relief effort.

In this season of giving, it's time to remember those other charities again and dig a little deeper into our pockets. Community groups of all kinds are hurting, including those that work with animals. Perhaps especially the latter, since animals become a lesser priority to some when people are in dire need.

There's an argument to be made, I suppose, in assigning a lesser priority to animals at such times, but it overlooks the fact that animal charities are needed because of the irresponsible or cruel actions of people. And it also neglects to consider that animals are never more necessary to people than in times of stress and grief. A charity that helps animals helps people just as much.

Consider how important animals were in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks. Search and rescue dogs from around the world worked tirelessly in horrid conditions trying to find people. And therapy dogs likewise did their part in consoling the survivors and families at relief centers. Never before have the contributions of animals played such an important role in a disaster.

People are always asking me which groups I give to, out of all those well-known organizations that stuff our mailboxes with slick appeals. Although I don't think a small donation to these national advocacy groups or those foundations that underwrite animal health research is a bad thing, I prefer to recommend that people support organizations in their own communities. Sheltering and pet-rescue groups, pet-therapy organizations and more all work on the tightest of budgets, with low-overhead operations that make the most of what they get from their donors.

Money is always welcome when it comes time to give. You can make a simple donation, or you can buy a membership as a gift to an animal-loving friend or family member. The latter is an especially good idea if you know a child who's getting several gifts, since it teaches the importance of contributing to those who are not as fortunate. If you have a friend or family member who has just lost a pet, you can make a donation in that pet's name. Most organizations will acknowledge the contribution with a sympathy card to the person who has lost the pet.

You don't have to write a check to help, though. Groups can often use items you might be throwing away, such as old newspapers or frayed towels. Sheltering groups also go through an amazing number of can openers! You might also consider buying large bags of pet food or cat litter and donating those. Some groups have thrift stores or occasional tag sales, so you can donate almost any item for them to sell to raise money. Also appreciated are office supplies such as paper, notebooks and pens.

Some groups need relatively new computers, scanners, copiers and other office equipment; call to see what their needs are. And while you're at it, ask if they have a "wish list" of big-ticket items they hoping to get donated, such as building materials or vehicles. Tracking down such items is a wonderful way of volunteering for those who are too tender-hearted to work at the shelter. Depending on your powers of persuasion, you might be able to get needed items donated just by making a phone call or two to area businesses.

'Tis the season to give, give, give. But always bear in mind that one of the best ways to contribute is by making sure that you're not part of the problem. Be sure your pets are spayed or neutered so they won't be adding to the number of animals who spend the holidays hoping for a home.

PETS ON THE WEB

Small local charities, with their low overheads and more hands-on programs, usually do more with your donation than large national organizations. With the big boys, you're too often giving to support high salaries and fund-raising programs -- luxuries smaller charities can't afford. Still, you shouldn't rule out a national charity, though you certainly should check it out carefully.

One of the best resources for researching a charity is Guidestar (www.guidestar.org), a Web site that puts the financials at your fingertips for free so you can make an informed decision before writing that check. Hundreds of animal charities are in the Guidestar database, from one-person rescue groups to some of the largest and most influential organizations around.

THE SCOOP

Animal People newspaper is a labor of love put together every month by a pair of dedicated journalists who work to cover animal issues around the globe. From Korean animal markets -- where dogs and cats are cruelly treated before being killed for their meat -- to no-holds-barred reports on animal-related industries, Animal People covers it all.

Every December the newspaper puts together a special issue on animal charities that analyzes the work they do, the salaries they pay and the overhead that must be met before a single penny is spent on programs that help animals. The Watchdog edition is a must-read for anyone who donates to animal charities.

It's $20 from Animal People, P.O. Box 960, Clinton, WA 98236-0960. You can also order the report online with a credit card at www.animalpeoplenews.org/watchdog_report.html. Regular subscriptions are also available from the same address, for $24 a year.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: My cat occasionally does the unspeakable and throws up prolific amounts of watery, dark-brown yuck onto my light-colored carpet. The only thing that has worked well on cleaning up the mess is Tide, since it has enzymes to dissolve proteins. However, the experts say not to use such a product on carpets. Are there any other methods to clean up this kind of mess and get rid of the terrible stains? -- H.L., via e-mail

A: According to the Denver Dumb Friends League's behavior hotline service, the worst thing you can do is one of the first things people think of -- steam-cleaning the carpet. The process sets the stain and odor, says the League, and invites repeat business from your pet. It's important to remove any stains before steam-cleaning the carpets.

Your best chance of thwarting a stain is to work when the mess is fresh. Pick up and blot all you can, and then rinse the area well with plain water, blotting more as you go. The League recommends using an extractor wet vacuum to force plain water through the area and suck it back out, and with that, the mess.

For difficult or set-in stains, you're on the right track with enzymes. Pet-supply stores and catalogs offer enzymatic cleaners designed for use on pet stains. Nature's Miracle is one of the better-known brands, but there are others. Follow directions on the package carefully for best results.

Incidentally, pet stains are why my house has hardwood floors, tile and washable throw rugs. I know better than to put in wall-to-wall carpet!

Q: A good friend has a difficult decision to make regarding shipping her 9-year-old Dalmatian from Seattle to Copenhagen, Denmark, a 10-hour flight. What's your opinion on this type of flight for a nervous dog? -- C.C., via e-mail

A: Assuming your friend has a place to keep the dog with her in Europe, I see the flight as the lesser of two evils. Better the dog stay with her than for her to attempt to find the animal a new home -- a daunting task given this pet's age and personality.

The dog will be crated for more 14 hours, most likely, since a few hours need to be factored in on either end of the journey for getting the animal on and off the plane. That's a long time to "hold it," but most healthy adult dogs will manage it fine. If not, the result will be a dirty crate and a dirty dog, a situation that can certainly be remedied with no lasting harm to either.

Talk to the airline early about its requirements and about those of the admitting country. A health certificate will most certainly be required just before the flight, and that's the time to talk to the veterinarian about tranquilizers. They're usually not recommended -- most pets are better off without them, for health reasons -- but this dog may be an exception.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600