There's a story that's told, with a knowing smile and a hint of a wink, by those who advise people on their pets' behavior problems.

A cat lover calls in with a problem. "My cat pees on pillows!" she says, obviously very unhappy with the situation.

"How long has this been going on?" says the behaviorist.

"Seven years," says the caller.

"Seven years!" says the behaviorist. "Why on earth have you waited so long to get help?"

"Because now he's peeing on MY pillow," says the caller.

People who work with pet behavior problems are often struck not by how quickly a person will reach the breaking point, but rather by how much some pet lovers will put up with and for how long. The problem is, by the time these pet lovers seek help, the behavior may be too entrenched to do much about it.

And that's the point of the pillow-peeing-cat's story: Don't wait, even if it's not your pillow that's getting hit. At the first sign of a problem, get help. Ask your veterinarian for help, and possibly a referral to a behaviorist or trainer with experience in solving your pet's particular problem, be it inappropriate elimination, destructiveness, shyness or aggression.

Why is this so important? In the case of a dog or cat who's using the house as a toilet, every day you wait the inside of your home becomes ever more difficult to clean. Pets are attracted to places they've hit before, and once a home becomes saturated, it's almost impossible to eliminate the smell to the pet's satisfaction.

Your best hope is to clean messes promptly and retrain your pet before the bad habit is as set as those old urine stains.

Need more reasons why waiting to get help is a bad idea? How about these: You could be doing exactly the wrong thing in your efforts to fix your pet's problem. And even if you're doing nothing more than ignoring the problem, the behavior could be getting worse on its own.

An example of the "wrong approach" would be the way many people deal with a dog who's shy or scared. It seems natural to react to such behavior by soothing the animal, petting him and praising him in an attempt to make him happier. It may make sense, but it's the wrong approach to fixing the problem.

When you soothe a shy or scared animal, you're really rewarding him for being nervous, and that just makes the situation worse. A good behaviorist will observe your pet's problem, will see how you are reacting to it, and will suggest a program you can follow to correct the behavior humanely. In the case of the shy dog, that will probably entail ignoring the nervousness, substituting other behaviors on command and praising the dog for those.

In the case of an aggressive animal, ignoring the problem is almost certain to make it worse. The dog who learns that all he need do to get his way is growl will soon figure out that if a little aggression is good, a lot is better, at least from his point of view. Once he gets that idea in his head, you'll have a full-blown menace on your hands. The people who guess wrong in trying to fix aggression often get bitten in the process. Or see the dog attack someone else, maybe a child.

Whatever your reason for putting off dealing with your pet's behavior problem -- denial, lack of time or hoping he'll outgrow it -- realize now that wishful thinking never changed anything. Most pet behavior problems can be corrected, especially if you catch them early and make use of the advice of someone who knows what he's doing.

Why would you want to wait to have a well-behaved pet? Call your vet, jump on the Internet, check out a book -- you can find good information by doing any of these things. But only if you try.

PET ON THE WEB

The How to Love Your Dog site (www.geocities.com/~kidsanddogs) is designed for kids, although adults could learn a thing or two here as well. The site is packed with articles on getting, raising and training a puppy or dog, with the emphasis firmly on proper care and responsible stewardship. Janet Wall, a human educator and lifelong dog lover, knows that getting through to children is not about lecturing. She has put in plenty of opportunities for learning that's also fun, including riddles submitted by kids, and quizzes that cheer on the participant with every click. I also like the "I Love My Dog" contract, which will help children understand that a pet is a responsibility that lasts for years.

THE SCOOP

Not all cats like catnip. The ability to appreciate the herb is genetic, with slightly more cats in the fan club than not. These hard-wired preferences aren't immediately apparent, though, since kittens under the age of 3 months don't react to catnip at all.

Among those cats who do like catnip, you'll find two basic kinds of reactions: Your cat may seem to become a lazy drunk, or a wired-up crazy. Credit a substance called "nepetalactone," which is found in the leaves and stems and causes the mood-altering behavior.

Is catnip safe? While some cat experts recommend that you grow your own catnip or buy only organically raised products, the consensus is that you can treat your cat as often as you (and your cat) wish. Catnip is considered to be nonaddictive and harmless.

Q: My sister's 2-year-old male golden retriever has, for the past several months, peed in the same place continuously. He does not go anywhere else in the house. Any suggestions? -- C.H., via e-mail

A: This should be a pretty easy problem to fix, but it will take some effort initially.

First, is the dog neutered? Male dogs live to mark territory, but neutering cuts down on this unpleasant hormone-driven behavior. It also makes the animal a safer, happier pet. Have your sister talk to her veterinarian about scheduling this important procedure right away, if it hasn't already been done.

Second, clean up the area where the dog is marking, using enzymatic cleaners designed for pet messes. (Other kinds of cleaners do not eliminate the odor, and some, like ammonia, even make the problem worse.) A thorough cleaning is essential, since any remnant of past mistakes will emit an odor that will attract the dog to refresh his mark.

You can get enzymatic cleaners from most pet-supply stores, catalogs and Web sites. Nature's Miracle is one popular brand name.

Finally, block off the area from the dog while he's being retrained. Take the dog outside and praise him for marking in the right spot. In the house, always keep him under watch or on leash for a couple of weeks so he never gets the opportunity to make the wrong decision.

If your sister catches him in the act of lifting his leg indoors, she should clap her hands to distract him and stop the behavior, then take him outside to finish the job, praising him for getting it right. Punishment is never necessary and is flat-out useless if done after the fact.

Q: We recently moved to a house adjacent to an undeveloped brushy hillside. The area probably has some critters that would be unfriendly to our 7-year-old Siamese cat, so we are keeping her inside. You recommended giving inside cats "greens for nibbling." I am not sure what you mean by this. Could you please explain and tell me where I would obtains these "greens"? -- G.W., Santa Rosa, Calif.

A: It's easy to keep greens on hand for cats. It doesn't take much of a green thumb, and indoor kitties in particular will be ever so grateful for your thoughtfulness.

Grasses are always a favorite. Since cats seem to like the tenderest shoots best, sow a fresh crop every couple of weeks in a wide, shallow planter. Alfalfa, rye and wheat seeds are ideal. You can find seeds from catalogs or nurseries, but be sure to choose those that have not been pre-treated with chemicals. If you search pet-supply stores, catalogs and Web sites, you can find pre-packaged kitty greens, complete with seeds, soil and planter. All you need do is add water.

Parsley and thyme are also popular and can be grown indoors for your cat's nibbling pleasure. Any decent nursery will have young plants ready to be transplanted into a pot, and the mature plants make a nice addition to your decor.

Finally, you can keep a crop of catnip or valerian on hand. Most people know about the amazing effect catnip has on some cats, but not many people know that valerian is another plant that tickles a cat's fancy. Plant both of these in cat-proof areas, or your pet may pull the seedlings out by the root. After the plant is large enough to stand it, trim off a piece and offer it to your pet.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Can cats and dogs get along? While a current movie has fun with the idea that the animals are secretly fighting an all-out war, millions of real-life cats and dogs live in harmony, and millions of people feel no family would be complete without at least one of each pet.

Getting a dog and cat to accept one another can difficult, though, as anyone who's tried to introduce them well knows. There are some basic steps to getting both pets to at least call an inter-species truce.

Under no circumstances should cat-dog introductions be handled by throwing the animals together and letting them work out things on their own. That method is far too stressful even in the best of circumstances. It's also important to keep in mind that introductions can be dangerous, usually for the cat. Some dogs see cats as prey, and even those dogs who are generally easygoing may react instinctively to a cat on the run, attacking the smaller animal.

Introductions must be supervised, and they must be handled with planning, care and patience.

If you have a cat and are planning to bring in a dog, try to find an animal who is known to be accepting of cats. Shelters, rescue groups or private parties looking to place puppies and dogs often know if an animal has successfully lived with a cat, or they will test to see how the pet behaves in the presence of one.

If you have a dog and are planning to bring in a cat, start working on your pet's obedience before you add the new animal. Your dog should be comfortable on a leash, and trained well enough to mind your requests for him to stay in either a sit or down position while on that leash.

For the cat's comfort, he should be confined during the early stages of introduction to a small area (such as a second bathroom or guest bedroom) where he can feel safe while becoming acclimated to the sounds and smells of the dog. Be sure the room has everything he needs, and make sure frequent one-on-one visits with human family members are also on the schedule.

After a couple of days with the cat sequestered, put the dog on leash and open the door to the cat's room. Allow the animals to see one another, and do not allow the dog to chase the cat, even in play. Use the sit-stay or down-stay to keep the dog in place while the cat gets used to his calm presence. Don't force the cat to interact with the dog; if the cat wishes to view the dog from the darkest recesses of the bed, so be it. Reward the good behavior of both animals with treats and praise.

Keep the dog on leash for a couple of weeks in the cat's presence, and always make sure the cat has a way to escape from the dog, such as putting a baby gate across the door to the safe area. Build up the time the animals spend together, and continue to make the introductions rewarding, with more treats and praise.

When the dog isn't interested in bothering the cat, and the cat feels secure enough to come out from under the bed, you can take off the leash and let them get on with their new lives together. How long it will take to get to this step will depend on the animals involved, and you must work at their pace.

It not uncommon for dogs and cats to become friends and to enjoy each other's company. Take the time to manage your cat-dog introduction properly, and you could be setting up a friendship that will last for the rest your pets' lives.

PETS ON THE WEB

If you ever let your cat get hold of your computer's mouse, he's going to click right through to www.CatToys.com, the ultimate site for anyone who wants to spoil a cat to the max. (And who doesn't?)

The Web site not only has dozens of the best toys on the market, but it also has recommendations broken down by breed and by personality, so active kitties and lazy kitties both get the plaything that's best suited to them.

I also like the company's way of giving to charity: Buy one cat toy for donation to shelter cats, and you get 5 percent off your entire order. Buy two or more, and it's 10 percent. The interviews with toy inventors are also unique to this site and make for entertaining reading.

THE SCOOP

There's something about visiting the veterinarian that can put even the most even-tempered cat into a full-blown snit that can last hours after the return home. The smells of a veterinary setting brought home on the fur of one cat can even set off the other feline family members, who may become aggressive toward or completely ignore the returnee until he is smelling the way he used to again. (A tip that might speed up the process: Run a towel over the cat who stayed behind and then swipe it over the returning cat to "de-vet" his scent.)

An unsettled cat is best left alone, unless you enjoy being bitten or scratched. When you get home, put the carrier down in a place with escape routes so you're not setting your cat up for an ambush by any other pets, then open the carrier door and leave him be. Your cat may stay in the carrier for a while, may head for the nearest bed to hide under, or may step out and be just fine. Take your cues from your cat, and let him pick the speed at which he settles back into the household.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: A couple of weeks ago my boyfriend moved into my apartment. Since then, my cat has decided to pee on his things. It's obvious the cat hates my boyfriend. I don't want to give her up, but if I can't solve this problem, he'll have to go. I'm not getting rid of my boyfriend, no matter what the cat wants. What can you suggest? -- F.E., via e-mail

A: Your cat probably doesn't hate your boyfriend. There are two more likely factors influencing her recent behavior: first, a natural need to mark her territory; second, an increase in stress because of a new person and new household routines. Both of these conditions can trigger marking behavior.

You didn't say if your boyfriend's things are your cat's only targets or if you had a problem with marking before. If the problem isn't limited to what you wrote about, be sure your cat sees a veterinarian right away. She could have a medical condition (an infection, or possibly diabetes) that is causing her behavior, and the fact that it seemed to start when your boyfriend moved in may just be a coincidence.

If it's only your boyfriend's things that are being hit, then it's probably a stress and territory problem. Talk to your veterinarian about the possibility of putting your cat on an anti-anxiety medication in the short term, and limit her territory for a while to a small area of her own to allow her to acclimate to his presence more gradually. Make sure she has food, water, toys, a litter box and some place to scratch. And be sure, too, to spend time with her every day, petting time and playtime both. Cats don't do well with change, and problems like yours are very common.

As your cat becomes more comfortable with your boyfriend's presence and the new routines, she should become more accepting and can be allowed more freedom. Be sure before she is let near any previously marked areas that you've cleaned thoroughly with an enzymatic cleaner (such as Nature's Miracle) to keep from inviting repeat business.

Be patient with your cat as she works her way through the transition. If you don't see any improvement in a couple of weeks' time, ask your veterinarian for a referral to a behaviorist who can work out a program tailored precisely for you and your pet.

Q: I read in your book that you put your dogs' dishes in the dishwasher -- along with the people dishes. I'm sorry, but this just grosses me out. Remind me never to accept a dinner invitation from you! -- F.B., via e-mail

A: Remind me not to ask. And you probably wouldn't be thrilled with the fur that seems to end up on the clothes of visitors, since my pets are welcome on the furniture. Life in general isn't sterile, and life with either children or pets is even less so. Dirt happens, and you cope with it as best you can, within the boundaries of your own tolerance level.

From a health standpoint, though, you're unlikely to run into any problem from living with a healthy, well-groomed and parasite-free clean animal, which is exactly what mine are. And one way I keep them healthy is by making sure their dishes are cleaned daily by going through the same sterilizing blast of super-heated soap and water that my own do. Everything goes in dirty, true, but it all comes out clean.

For things that aren't routinely cleaned between uses -- such as a wall-mounted can opener -- I can see the sense in having a can opener just for pet food. I just don't keep anything around that can't be sterilized, no matter whether it is meant for use by two-legged or four-legged family members.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Not long ago I wrote about feathers, the strong, lightweight and beautiful genetic adaptation that allowed birds to shed their reptilian ancestry and take flight. I soon heard from a woman with an umbrella cockatoo. She wishes she could appreciate her bird's feathers more -- or rather, that her bird would.

"Bianca looks like a plucked chicken, from her neck to her feet," wrote the woman. "I love her dearly, but it hurts to look at her. She will not stop feather-picking. What can I do?"

I wish I could offer a definitive answer, but there just isn't one. Birds pluck their feathers for any number and combination of medical and psychological problems, and birdkeepers and avian veterinarians alike practically tear out their own hair trying to find a fix for this frustrating behavior.

Feather-picking is not a disease -- it's a symptom of something else that's wrong with a bird. If your bird pulls out his feathers, the only hope you have of ending the problem is to fix the underlying problem (or problems, in many cases).

First step: Take your pet to a veterinarian who's up-to-date in avian medicine -- not all are -- or is a board-certified avian specialist. (Certified specialists will carry the designation ABVP (avian practice) after their veterinary degrees, initials that stand for the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners, an organization that oversees specialty testing and certification for in-practice veterinarians.) It's essential to get help for your pet at the first sign of trouble: The longer your bird has been picking, the greater the probability that the behavior cannot be cured.

Considering just a few of the triggers for feather-picking will give you an idea of how difficult this mystery can be for even the best avian veterinarians to solve. Here are a few of the more common reasons for feather-picking in pet birds:

-- Health problems. Medical conditions behind feather-picking include allergies, parasitic infections, bacterial infections, cysts in the feather follicles, vitamin deficiencies and hormone-associated problems. And that's the short list.

-- Low humidity. Many birds come from extremely humid environments, and our houses can't hope to duplicate the conditions of a rain forest. The dry air of most houses can be a factor in feather-picking and can also set the stage for some secondary medical problems.

-- Boredom and pent-up energy. Birds are active and intelligent, and they don't handle well the strain of sitting around in a cage all day. Without activities to exercise their minds and bodies, birds may direct all their energy toward tearing out their feathers.

-- Psychological problems. Although birds need to have their wings trimmed for safety, a bad wing trim -- too short, with no allowance for an "easy landing" -- can upset a bird so badly that he starts tearing at himself. Obsessive-compulsive disorders can also trigger feather-picking.

-- Attention-seeking. You love how your bird looks. He starts tugging at feathers and you freak, imagining your beautiful bird with the broiler-chicken look. Every time he touches his feathers -- even for normal preening behavior -- you rush over. See how this works? "Aha!" thinks your bird. "All I have to do to get attention is pull a feather!"

After your bird receives a clean bill of physical health, follow your veterinarian's suggestions for environmental adjustments, such as changing the cage size or location, misting the bird frequently, adding toys and increasing interaction. Prepare for the project to be a long one! Start a diary to record your changes and any effects they may have on your bird's behavior.

When I shared this information with Bianca's owner, she immediately responded with, "Are you sure this will help?" Alas, there are no guarantees, despite the best efforts of a birdkeeper and veterinarian. We must do our best for our pets, but when it comes to feather-picking, we must realize that sometimes, with pets as well as people, you just have to love them the way they are, even if they look like plucked chickens.

PETS ON THE WEB

Bay Area Doglovers Responsible About Pitbulls (BAD RAP) is a group based in the San Francisco area that's dedicated to correcting misinformation about these dogs and getting them placed into informed, caring homes. The group's Web site (www.badrap.org) is packed with fascinating information on the history of the breed and what kind of homes are best for them.

The breeds and mixes that fall under the "pit bull" umbrella -- including American pit bull terriers, American Staffordshire terriers, Staffordshire bull terriers and more -- were once thought to be outstanding family companions, and many still deserve that reputation. The BAD RAP site is pretty honest about the pros and cons of these dogs, including a fair assessment of their aggressive tendencies, especially toward other dogs. They aren't for everyone, surely, but these are animals that deserve better than they often get.

THE SCOOP

Cats magazine is no more. One of the best animal publications, Cats magazine was a wonderful blend of cutting-edge health and behavior information, entertaining features, breed profiles and even cat-themed fiction. Doing a good job for cat lovers wasn't good enough for publisher Primedia, which recently informed the staff that the August issue of the magazine launched in 1945 was to be the last.

In a related move, Primedia closed the Chicago offices of Dog World (founded in 1916) and moved operations (without the Chicago employees) to New York City, where the staff of Cats will take over the publication. The day I heard about the changes, the August issue of Cats magazine hit my mailbox. "Last issue! Renew now!" yelped the subscription reminder wrapped around the cover. Guess I won't have to, but I miss it already.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Because they shed so much, we've wondered whether it would be a good idea to have our two longhaired cats shaved. We recently saw a cat whose owner had him shaved (in what looked like a poodle cut) by a groomer, and he looked great.

We currently live where it can be quite hot. In a few weeks we'll be moving to upstate New York, where the weather can be cold and snowy. We always keep our cats inside (largely because of your convincing arguments to do so), so a thick coat would not be as necessary to protect them against cold weather or in fights with other cats. What do you think about having them shaved by a professional groomer? -- D.A., Davis, Calif.

A: My biggest objection is an aesthetic one: You have two beautiful longhaired cats, and you want to make them look like poodles? Gee, isn't it bad enough that poodles have to look like poodles, shaved, fluffed and fussed over in some garish dog-show parody of haute couture?

I also worry about the stress of grooming on the cats themselves. Are they comfortable with regular trips to the groomers, or do they get upset at the mere site of their carriers? Ideally, it would be better if you fought shedding by grooming your cats regularly. The hair you catch on a comb or brush won't end up on your sofa, after all.

Beyond these considerations, though, there's no reason why your protected indoor pets can't be kept clipped short -- but not shaved to the skin. Be aware that turning your longhairs into shorthairs won't eliminate shedding, however: Your cats will shed short hair instead of long.

Although I have always preferred cats left to their natural glory, I do recommend clipping for those cats and dogs who are badly matted. It's too hard on the owner and the pet to try to comb out a coat full of mats.

Q: I agree with you that "Beware of Dog" signs are not a great idea. I once attended a seminar on dog law, and the attorney cautioned against any type of sign that indicated you thought your dog to be a threat to others.

I prefer the breed-specific signs that look like street signs and say "Lab Crossing" or "Poodle Crossing." They let someone know there's a dog in the yard, but imply no threat. I also keep a "pet alert" sticker in the window by my front door. The main purpose is the safety of my dogs when in the house alone, but the sticker serves the dual purpose of letting someone know there is a dog in the house for other reasons.

As a professional pet sitter, I provide a safety sticker for each of my clients. It's not difficult to convince them of their merit, not only for the safety of their pet, but also for home security. Would you pass along this suggestion? -- Tonya Berger, "The Critter Sitter," Sacramento, Calif.

A: I too have a "pet alert" sticker in my front window, which I bought at a pet-supply store. I hadn't thought about its potential as a security device, but I do see your point now. Of course, in my case having a pair of large black retrievers staring out the front window is probably a bit of a deterrent, too, even though they're as friendly as can be.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600