The plumber was here the other afternoon, fixing one of those occasional disasters that hit the homes (and pocketbooks) of us all at the worst possible times.

He wasn't a quiet fellow, between the muttering and the clanging, and the retrievers found him an unending source of fascination -- and vice versa, fortunately. Benjamin and Heather love everyone, and in the event of a break-in, they would be the type to provide the thief with tail-wagging moral support (which is why I have a security system).

Andy, my Sheltie, has always been my little guard dog, alerting me to every visitor, and letting each one know that he or she was being closely watched. Andy tolerates no nonsense where his people and his home are concerned. Or anyway, that used to be the case.

But Andy's reaction to the plumber brought home to me just how old my dear gray pup has become. The dog slept through the entire visit. Didn't hear the man arrive, didn't hear his noisy working and didn't hear him leave.

In some ways, Andy's near-deafness isn't such a bad thing. The dog has always been nervous during thunderstorms and fireworks displays, and now they don't bother him at all. And since the retrievers aren't prone to barking, the house is very quiet with Andy now content to sleep away most of his days.

We've made adjustments. I call him to dinner by clanging two stainless steel bowls together with considerable force, and I wake him by touching him gently, with long, light strokes down his furry flank.

He has his moments, though, when with obvious pride he still manages in his own fashion to keep the house safe for us all. In his mind, he's just as keen a protector as he ever was.

Our mail carrier retired a few months ago, a wonderful, caring man much loved by the neighborhood and much despised by Andy. Working under the belief that the carrier was just too nice to be barked at, I kept Andy out of the front room as much as I could every day until the man had moved on to the next house. Andy was insulted and annoyed at such treatment, but forgave me quickly with the aid of a good scratch and a cookie or two.

The new carrier is also a kind person, funny and friendly and as fond of dogs as it's possible for someone who has to watch out for them to be. Andy seems to have retired his animosity on the last day the old carrier walked the route, and he doesn't pay much attention to the new one. Most of the reason is that the mail now comes in the afternoon, which is Andy's naptime. And Andy is one solid sleeper.

But the other day, the man altered the route, coming up the walk in mid-morning, which is Andy's time to gaze out the front screen. The dog came alive at the sight of him, lurching to his feet and trumpeting what he thought was a threatening bark. The sound was more of a throat clearing, followed by a cough. From the other side of the screen, the man chuckled, put the mail in the slot and left.

Andy's bravado has nothing to do with the carrier's departure, I know, but Andy saw things differently: In his mind, he drove the intruder away. He watched with his lip raised in a sneer as the man turned the corner, then Andy strutted over to me.

I gave the old boy a good pat for his bravery, enjoying the glimpse of the clever brat he once was. Exhausted by the excitement, Andy was asleep in five minutes, twitching with dreams that no doubt replayed the encounter in an endless loop, making him younger and more fearsome with each review.

As he dreamed, I sat down on the floor and continued to caress him. A guard dog's work may never be done, I knew, but an old dog needs his naps.

PETS ON THE WEB

One of the most popular activities on the Internet is shopping, especially of the specialized variety. Those people who love retrievers will want to take a tour of the Lab Locker and Golden Goods Web site (www.lablocker.com), which offers merchandise not only for these highly popular breeds, but also for some of the lesser-known retrievers. Almost anything you can imagine with a retriever theme you'll find here, including shirts, caps, cups, throws, prints, books and furniture.

THE SCOOP

Readers are still asking for help in finding two products mentioned in earlier columns: the citronella anti-bark collar, and fencing that keeps cats safely inside a yard.

The collars are widely available at pet-supply stores, especially the large chains. You can also order them from Doctors Foster and Smith (800-381-7179, or online at www.drsfostersmith.com).

The feral-cat advocacy group Alley Cat Allies has cat-fence instructions on its Web site (www.alleycat.org/ic_fs_fence.html). You can also buy ready-made cat fencing from Affordable Cat Fence (888-840-CATS, or online at www.catfence.com).

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Can you help me find tapes or CDs to teach my Senegal parrot to talk? I have tried everything. -- D.T., via e-mail

A: Senegals are lovely small parrots, very bright, affectionate and playful, but they are not known for their talking abilities. The only sound my Senegal, Patrick, ever mastered was the beeping of the microwave, which signaled to him that food was on the way.

The best talkers among those species commonly kept as pets are the African gray, and the yellow-naped or double-yellow-headed Amazons. Don't count out small parrots, though: Some budgies are exceptional talkers, with documented vocabularies of up to 300 words. (They also have very sweet little voices.)

You can try to teach your bird to talk by selecting a few words or phrases and repeating them clearly over and over. It will help if you do so in situations that make your bird happy, such as mealtime or playtime. Starting with a young bird is usually more productive, as is working with a single bird who'll be more likely to bond with you than with a cage-mate.

You can find teaching tapes and CDs by looking in the back of magazines such as Bird Talk, or by visiting a bird show. Hornbeck's (www.hornbecks.com, or 888-224-3247) also has a variety of training aids. I'm guessing, though, that if your Senegal hasn't spoken up by now, he isn't going to.

One thing to consider when teaching a parrot to talk: Choose words or phrases that you won't mind hearing for the rest of the bird's very long life. Heaven knows how many birds are still muttering catch phrases from commercials that caught the public's fancy years or even decades ago. And rescuers report that it can be very difficult to find a new home for a bird whose vocabulary is mostly profanity.

Q: My friend has a male calico that he may be interested in selling. How would he do this? Also, does "calico" refer only to color, or is it a breed? -- D.B., via e-mail

A: Your friend seems to believe that because male calicos are rare that he is sitting on a gold mine. Not so.

A male calico has no monetary value beyond that of any other cat. The emotional value of the animal, of course, depends on the bond shared with the humans in his life.

Studies show that about one in every 3,000 calicoes or tortoiseshell cats is male, with a hitch. These boys are what's called "Klinefelter" males, which means they have two X chromosomes (which allow them to be calicoes) and one Y (which makes them male). They are usually sterile.

As for your other question: "Calico" refers to a cat's markings, not the breed. Calies have distinctive patches of orange and black on a white background, and this pattern in found in many breeds and mixes. "Dilute" calicos are very similar, except that the colors involved are gray and a muted shade of orange on a white background.

Tortoiseshells are genetically comparable in that the overwhelming majority of them are females, but on these cats the orange, black and white hairs are swirled together.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

By the rule of law, a dog needs shelter, food and water. By the rule of all that is right and fair, a dog needs a whole lot more.

The animals least likely to get the love, training and attention dogs need to realize their potential as companions? Outdoor dogs, who are sometimes lucky just to get shelter, food and water.

I have never understood why anyone would want to keep a dog entirely outside. What's the point? You don't get the benefits of companionship from a dog you see once or twice a day, just to throw down some food for or maybe play a quick game of fetch with. How can you know an animal you don't really live with? How can he know you?

You can't even get security benefits from the pet who roams the back yard or spends his time on a chain. If an intruder makes it inside my house, he's going to find three dogs there. If an intruder makes it past an outdoor dog -- simply by coming in a front window, perhaps -- he's home free. And don't count on outdoor dogs as an early warning system. These animals often become such indiscriminate barkers that you couldn't tell from the sound whether the dog's barking at a prowler or at a toddler riding a tricycle down the street. Besides, people who keep outdoor dogs seem to become quite good at ignoring the noise they make, much to the ire of their neighbors.

Outdoor dogs are at high risk for being abandoned. The tight, loving bond that occurs when a dog lives as part of a family often doesn't form with an outside dog, and that makes it easier to dump such an animal when he becomes more trouble then he's worth. In my neighborhood, there's a family who gets a new puppy every year, usually a mix of a couple of large protective breeds. Year after year, each of these sweet puppies is left to grow up without socialization or training. By the time he's replaced, yesterday's neglected baby has become a dangerous nuisance, unlikely to get a second chance with a new family.

Pets like these are all too common. Bored and lonely, outdoor dogs develop any number of bad habits. They dig craters in the yard. They bark endlessly, day and night. They become chewers of outdoor furniture, sprinkler heads and siding. And sometimes, without the socialization all dogs need, they become flat-out dangerous, ready to bite anyone who comes into the back yard or within range of their chain. The victim is much more likely to be a child, friend or neighbor than a crook: The dog can't tell the difference.

If you're considering adopting a dog with the intent of keeping him completely outside, please reconsider -- for the animal's sake as well as your own and that of your neighbors. Sure you'll end up dealing with fur in the house if you welcome your dog inside, but it's nothing compared to the pleasures of living with a pet who's really bonded to you.

If you have a dog that has become an outside dog because of behavior problems, find someone to help you turn the situation around. It's not true that an old dog can't learn new tricks. Ask your veterinarian for a referral to a behaviorist or trainer who can show you how to overcome the things that are driving you crazy, whether it's house-soiling, uncontrolled chewing or just the ill-mannered exuberance of a dog who doesn't know any better.

It's worth the effort. Once you have a dog you can welcome into your home and your heart, you'll start to reap the benefits of a relationship that's finally being realized to its fullest potential. And that's good news for you both.

PETS ON THE WEB

Blue Mountain is one of the original sites for e-cards, those animated, musical extravaganzas that are kind of fun to find in your electronic mailbox. Blue Mountain's collection of pet-related e-cards (www2.bluemountain.com/eng/pets) offers a colorful selection with a lot of variety. You can send a card to your pet's e-mail address -- my pets have one, don't yours? -- or to a pet-loving friend or even your family's veterinarian. Most selections are aimed at those with dogs or cats, but there are even a couple of e-cards for less popular pets, such as rabbits.

THE SCOOP

Like most gardeners, "hate" isn't all that strong a word to use when it comes to how I feel about snails. But I never, ever use snail bait, because it's deadly not just to snails and slugs but also to dogs, cats and birds.

Instead, I conduct regular "snail safaris" at night with a flashlight, picking up snails by the shell and putting them in a bag that I then place in the garbage bin. Another alternative to traditional snail bait is iron phosphate, which is marketed under the brand name Sluggo.

If you suspect your pet has gotten into snail bait -- symptoms include frothing at the mouth, vomiting and convulsions -- see your veterinarian immediately. Your pet's life depends on your prompt action.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I find it sad that you and many others are so upset about a stupid animal that gets killed and yet you never say a word or get together a $110,000 reward to help find any of the missing children in this country.

Like most liberal goofs, you think that animals and plants or whatever are more important than human life. This story just demonstrates how warped people's priorities have become. Get a life. It was an animal, for goodness' sake.

The guy who did this was an idiot and should be punished, but you ding-a-lings are more torn up about this dog than you would be about a human. You guys are sick. -- anonymous, via e-mail

A: I got a lot of mail like yours -- most of it unsigned -- when Andrew Burnett was found guilty recently of throwing Sara McBurnett's dog Leo into traffic after a fender-bender last year in San Jose, Calif.

I don't know about the rest of the "ding-a-lings," but this one cares every bit as much about humans as she does about the rest of the animals. There's nothing about being an animal lover that precludes you from caring about people, after all.

In fact, if the laws against animal cruelty were strengthened and vigorously enforced, it would be as much of a benefit for people as it would be for animals. That's because studies show that people who are violent against people -- from child- and spouse-abusers to mass-murderers -- get their "training" by abusing animals. Stopping animal abuse would short-circuit the careers of a lot of violent offenders.

As for the reward, the vast majority of it was in very small amounts and no doubt came from people who saw themselves in Sara McBurnett's place: scared out of her wits dealing with an angry and violent man on the side of the freeway. What this man did was as much a crime against McBurnett as it was against Leo. He wanted to hurt her, and in his out-of-control fury he did so by throwing her dog into traffic.

It's too bad that you feel differently, but someone capable of causing such pain needed to be stopped and needs to be punished. And thank heavens for those who believe in this enough to see the case through to the end. Animal cruelty is rarely taken so seriously, and that's flat wrong.

On the same subject, here's another letter from the woman who never will forget that night.

Q: The article you wrote about my tragedy with Leo was eloquent and thoughtful. Your talent for writing and your opinion will be greatly appreciated in a recommendation for the sentencing of Andrew Douglas Burnett on July 13. You may write your opinion of the defendant, and your recommendation for sentencing to:

The Hon. Kevin J. Murphy

c/o Troy Benson, D.A. Santa Clara County

70 West Hedding St.

San Jose, CA 95110

I'm sure that you share my opinion that three years is a slap on the wrist for a vicious act of animal cruelty, but at least it's a start. Let's hope it sends a message that society will no longer tolerate acts of animal cruelty, and that perpetrators will be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law. -- Sara McBurnett (Leo's mom)

A: Sara, I have already sent my letter, and I hope others will do the same. In it, I admirably and with no small effort held back from suggesting a penalty that seems to me more appropriate for this man, involving a dark, rainy night and four lanes of traffic. But that's perhaps more vindictive than constructive, so let's just hope for the maximum penalty allowed by law.

Let's hope, too, that in Leo's memory more people like the letter-writer above will come to realize that animal cruelty is not only a serious crime on its own, but is also too often the prelude to crimes against humans. We need to stop treating these cases with an "It's just an animal" attitude, because these crimes are about animals and so much more.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Feathers are one of nature's most stupendous feats of engineering, as strong and functional as they are beautiful. Although feathers vary from species to species -- compare the feathers of a penguin with the plumes of an ostrich to see how much -- the birds we keep as pets have three basic feather types:

-- Down feathers: These soft, short feathers, usually found closest to the skin, serve to keep the bird warm. Down feathers are the first feathers a baby bird has, and they function as sort of an avian layette.

The heat-trapping qualities of down feathers should come as no surprise; humans have used the down feathers of birds, especially geese, in any number of stay-warm products, from comforters to jackets.

On some species, a few of the down feathers are made to crumble: These "powderdown" feathers break into fine dust to aid in the bird's grooming. Birds from the more arid environments -- such as some parts of Africa and Australia -– are dustier than those from rainforests because of these feathers. Hug a cockatoo while wearing a dark shirt and you'll see what I mean: You'll find yourself covered with soft, white dust!

-- Contour feathers: These feathers have down "puffs" at their base and are stiffer toward the end. Contour feathers cover most of the body, including the down feathers. Dr. T.J. Lafeber, a pioneering avian veterinarian, describes the relationship of the down feathers to the contours as similar to a lined windbreaker: The down feathers keep warmth in, while the contours keep wind and rain at bay.

Unlike the fur of mammals, which grows pretty evenly over the entire body, contour feathers are arranged in tracts, between which are areas of bare skin.

-- Flight feathers: The longest and stiffest feathers are those used for flight, and they are found both on the wings and on the tail. The flight feathers are really modified contour feathers, specifically evolved to get the bird up into the air and help keep it there.

Flight feathers have little or no down at the base. If you look at one closely, you'll notice threads (called "barbules") protruding from the stiff barbs that come off the main shaft. On each barb, the barbules on the upper edge have hooklets, and the ones on the lower edge have ridges for catching the hooklets. The result is a strong, smooth, interwoven surface perfect for supporting flight.

A single feather may contain up to a million tiny barbules. When you watch your bird grooming his feathers, you will see him rearranging the location of the feather as well as pulling the feathers through his beak gently, to help re-lock hooklets that may have popped loose -- kind of like Velcro that came unattached and needs attention.

The gift of flight doesn't come without a price, and for birds that means a large part of their time is spent keeping feathers in fine shape, a behavior called "preening." Birds are so dedicated to keeping every one of the couple of thousand feathers they have in good order that they make even the neatest human seem like a slob by comparison.

Want to do your part? Help your bird with his grooming by getting him wet on a regular basis. Some birds enjoy being misted with a spray bottle, while others have perches in the shower and will go in when you do. Still others enjoy taking a bath in their cages. Experiment until you find out what suits your bird best, then give him a drenching as frequently as every day. It'll help him keep those marvelous feathers in fine form.

PETS ON THE WEB

If you haven't heard of Mr. Winkle yet, chances are you will soon. The fuzzy-headed little dog has been on the cover of a national pet magazine and the subject of his own calendar and, soon, his own book. He also has his own keyword (Mr. Winkle) on AOL.

Mr. Winkle is awfully cute, and he has his own photographer. What more would a dog need to become a celebrity? Photographer Lara Jo Regan has made him look his best on his Web site, www.mrwinkle.com. Look at the pictures, watch the movie, and if you can't resist, buy the merchandise. Mr. Winkle approves of it all.

THE SCOOP

On these hot days, it's perfectly fine to give pets ice cubes to enjoy. Dogs and cats may even enjoy "petsicles" made from chicken or beef broth and frozen in ice-cube trays.

One way to keep a pet's drinking water cool is to add homemade ice blocks. Freeze water in margarine tubs, then add a block of ice to the water dish before you leave for work in the morning. You like cold treats and cool drinks on hot days, and so does your pet!

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: When I moved to my present home almost a year ago, I moved Patches, her food dish and litter box in first. I put her box and food in the laundry room. After all the moving was done, I closed all the outside doors, leaving the door to the laundry room open.

When I let her out of her carrier in the laundry room, she hid under the steps or behind the water heater. She stayed there for several hours. I got a familiar blanket for her, and she and I spent the rest of the night in "our" chair watching videos. By morning she was fine.

Love your column, and read it every time it's in my paper. Keep 'em coming. -– W.M., via e-mail

A: Congratulations! You eased Patches through one of the most difficult times in any cat's life: a change of residence.

It's always important to proceed with safety and patience when moving a cat. Your cat settled down in short order, while another cat may take days or even weeks to adjust.

Limiting a cat's access to a small room -– such as the laundry room you chose -– makes her feel more secure while she's adjusting. Make sure she has everything she needs -- food, water, litter box, something to scratch, something to sleep on, and a toy or two.

Never rush or force a cat. Let her choose when to explore the rest of the house, and if she wants to view the world from under the bed, let her.

You obviously have a very good relationship with Patches. That's what allowed you to "read" her feelings and provide her with some affection when she needed it. It surely reassured her that her surroundings may have changed, but you are still there for her.

Q: About three years ago I bought my kids a couple of budgies. I suspected that they would not pay too much attention to the birds after we got them, so I deliberately bought two (so they would bond).

The birds are indeed pretty much ignored, except that their cage is kept clean and they are fed and watered daily. Of course by this time they are quite hand-shy.

Is there an easy way to tell if they are happy or miserable? The budgies do not feather-pick, and they chirp to each other quite regularly. Does this mean they are happy enough with the current arrangements, or do I need to start trying to rehabilitate them? -- G.H., via e-mail

A: Too many budgies end up like these, a pet ignored by the children who wanted them. (At least these birds are well-cared-for, which isn't always the case in such situations.) What a shame for any budgie to be underappreciated, for a well-socialized budgie is a marvelous pet, sweet and affectionate. Many are great talkers, too.

It sounds as if your two are bonded to each other and happy enough with the situation. It wouldn't hurt to try working with them individually, though. Aside from the socializing (which they may not like), I'd suggest some environmental enrichment for your budgies. The cages that are matched to birds at pet-supply stores are usually at least one size too small. The more space to explore, the better, especially for a cage-bound bird.

Also, make sure they have toys to play with, and lots of fresh foods to eat. Variety is important when it comes to food, not just for the nutritional value of vegetables, fruits, bread, scrambled eggs, pasta and more, but also because different shapes, colors, tastes and textures help with boredom.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600