The e-mails came within minutes of each other, and I was stunned by how perfectly matched they were. One was cause; the other, effect.

Both wrote about golden retrievers: one, the retriever he hoped to buy; the other, the dog she'd just lost.

"I promised the kids a dog, and we've decided to get a golden," wrote the first. "I was referred by a co-worker to a breeder who had a waiting list of six months. Yes, she seems to know what she's doing. She certifies the parents as having good hips, and she offers health guarantees. The father of the litter she's planning is a champion, and both father and mother have obedience and agility titles. But we don't want to wait that long! We found someone with a litter -- no papers, but purebred. They're ready to go now. We want a pet, not a show dog. Is there any real reason we shouldn't get a puppy from the people who have them now?"

The second person had bought a pup a year ago from a breeder such as the one that the first letter-writer is considering -- a backyard breeder, they're called. The result of the breeding of two pet goldens, neither of which had health clearances, was that the puppy developed hip dysplasia and was soon in near-constant pain from the malformed joints. Finally, the owner had to make the decision to end the young dog's life to spare him the pain. With three small children and tight budget, she couldn't afford the thousands of dollars for the surgery that might have helped the dog. "We are devastated," she wrote. "We now know we should never have bought a puppy from a breeder like this. Please, can you warn others?"

Some days that's all I seem to do, and it doesn't help much. I get dozens of e-mails and letters every week from people who made a big mistake when getting a puppy, and they leave me as perplexed as they do saddened. They've bought puppies carrying the time bomb of genetic disease, or puppies destined for temperament problems because of poor breeding and a lack of proper socialization. In goldens alone, careless or clueless breeders have produced dogs with hip disease, blindness, heart defects, thyroid disease and cancer, as well as hyperactivity and aggression. And goldens aren't alone. Every breed has its own problems that dedicated fanciers are working to eliminate.

How can it be that people still don't know the higher potential for problems when you buy a purebred puppy any other way than directly from a reputable breeder? How can intelligent people who spend hours researching a VCR or vacuum cleaner buy a purebred puppy on a whim? Why do so many people spend more time reading the label on a frozen dinner than they do researching the purchase of an animal who will be a family member for years?

I don't have the answers to these questions. But it's easy to find the answers to the questions you (BEGIN ITALICS)should(END ITALICS) be asking if you're considering a purebred puppy. The best writing on finding a good breeder I've ever seen is in Michele Lowell's book "Your Purebred Puppy: A Buyer's Guide" (Holt, $14). But there is a lot more information out there, as close as the Internet or your local library.

When you do make the right decision about where you buy your puppy, you're helping to end the problems caused by bad breeding. When there are no buyers for purebreds with problems, there'll be no sellers of them. No backyard breeders. No puppy mills. And that will make a big difference, not just to the future of purebred dogs, but also to rescue groups and shelters who'll eventually have to deal with so many unhealthy and unstable purebred dogs. Finally, it will spare a great many families the heartbreak of dealing with a sick dog.

If you must have a purebred puppy -- and no one says the dog you get has to be either purebred or a puppy, I hasten to note -- don't buy from anyone but a reputable breeder. Ask about health clearances. Ask about guarantees. Ask about socialization.

If you don't get the right answers, ask where to find the door out. You want to be dealing with someone else, let me assure you.

PETS ON THE WEB

The American Kennel Club's site (www.akc.org) is a good place to start finding out about how to buy a puppy. The AKC itself reminds people that getting a dog is a buyer-beware proposition, and that AKC papers alone are no guarantee of quality. Follow the links to the national club Web sites for the breed you're considering, as well. Delaware Valley Golden Retriever Rescue has an excellent checklist for evaluating a breeder on its Web site (www.dvgrr.org/puppy.html). After you read that checklist, go back to the home page and find out more about rescue: The right dog for you may be one who's looking for a second chance.

THE SCOOP

Although the beaks of parrots are constantly growing at a rate of 1 to 3 inches per year, depending on the species, a healthy pet does not need to have his beak trimmed. Your bird should keep his beak at the proper length through his normal chewing activities. Contrary to what some bird books still preach, don't accept "beak trims" as a routine health-care measure -- they're not. Overgrowth of the beak is frequently a sign of illness. If you have any concerns about your bird's beak, check in with a veterinarian who specializes in bird care.

Q: Our dog, Webster, has three tags attached to his collar -- name tag, license and vet insurance tag. They are all attached to one hook and then to his buckle collar ring. They are always falling off! We find them in the yard, or the neighbors return them from down the street (they fall off during walks, I guess). How can we keep these tags on securely? -- D.T., via e-mail

A: I've always found the "S" hooks that come with most tags to be completely useless. They're a pain to close properly, always seem to be working themselves open, and catch too easily on whatever a dog brushes up against. And once they're a little open, the tags are gone, as you've noticed.

Get to a hardware store and buy a stainless-steel, split key ring, the kind you have to pry apart to work the keys onto. My local store has a whole rack of them, in sizes ranging from 1/4 inch to 5 inches in diameter. I get the 3/8-inch or 1/2-inch size. These are sturdy and offer nothing to hang up your dog.

Tags are important, but I also believe in permanent identification for pets -- an inner-thigh tattoo, a microchip inserted in the loose skin over the shoulders, or both. Tags can fall off, and collars can slip off (or be removed, if your dog is stolen). But tattoos and microchips offer your pet protection that can't be tampered with. It's well worth considering. Most veterinarians offer microchips, or you can keep your eye out for a clinic. Tattoo clinics are often held in conjunction with dog shows or other canine competitions.

Q: We've adopted a young cat who has been hanging around our house begging for handouts. She's friendly and gets along with the cat we already have, but she has problems with earwax. We cleaned out her ears with cotton swabs, but it didn't help for long. What should we do? -- S.V., via e-mail

A: Take her to a veterinarian. She probably has ear mites -- tiny pests that feed on the lining of the ear canals. A veterinarian will be able to make a correct diagnosis of whatever the problem is and prescribe the appropriate treatment.

One thing to know about these pests: They're hard to eradicate. Be sure to follow medication directions precisely and to continue applications even if the problem appears to go away. If you don't, you'll be almost guaranteeing a reinfestation. Ear mites are very contagious, so be alert for signs of the pests in your other cat's ears as well.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

In the go-go world of two-income families, the popularity of cats is no surprise. These easygoing pets have a real advantage over dogs as a pet for busy households. They don't need as much in the way of training or exercise, and they're happy to spend lots of time alone. Cats also offer the same advantages as dogs when it comes to the nonjudgmental love, listening and acceptance that experts agree is so important for growing children.

Children and cats are natural together, but you need to lay some ground rules for the safety of both from the moment your new pet comes home. Kittens can be injured by the loving attention of children, especially young ones. And with more than 600,000 cat bites reported every year in the United States, you can clearly see that some cats give as good as they get.

The key to keeping children and cats together safely is to make sure that their interactions are supervised and to teach children how to handle and respect cats.

Let's start with the youngest. Under no circumstances should a cat (or any pet) be left unsupervised with an infant. That doesn't mean, however, that you should listen to the advice of well-meaning friends and relatives and find a new home for your feline baby.

Your cat will not "suck the life" out of your infant -- that's an old wive's tale, with no basis in fact. Still, keeping your cat away from your baby while you're not present is just good common sense. One veterinarian I know even went so far as to put a screen door on the room to the nursery and, honestly, this precaution isn't a bad idea. Her children are older now, and they all love their cats.

The children that cats could probably do without are those around the toddler age. Toddlers can really try a cat's patience, even though they aren't being anything but normal. Young children can't understand that roughly poking, squeezing and patting aren't appreciated. Although most cats figure out quickly that children this age are best avoided, your child could be bitten or scratched if your cat is cornered or startled. Keep an eye on all interactions, and consider putting a baby gate across the entry to a "safe room" for your cat so he can have a place to go where he isn't pestered.

From the time a child is in school, he or she can start learning to care for a pet and take an increasing amount of responsibility -- under supervision, of course. One way to teach younger school-aged children to play carefully is to play the "copycat game." If your child pets the cat gently, stroke his arm gently to show how nice it feels. Teach your children, too, how to hold a cat properly, with support under his chest and his legs not left dangling. A cat who feels secure and safe is far less likely to scratch or bite.

As children mature, they can take on increasing responsibility for a pet's care, such as keeping food and water bowls full and cleaning the litter box.

Do not let your child mistreat the family pet. Live animals are not stuffed animals, and your child needs to learn that living beings must be treated with respect. Remember that the ultimate responsibility for the well-being of a family pet rests with the parents, and that caring properly for a pet is one of the best opportunities you'll ever have for teaching some important lessons.

My favorite quote regarding this subject was sent to me by a reader who didn't know the author: "Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is just as important to the child as it is to the caterpillar."

What a great thought to keep in mind as we rush through our busy lives.

PETS ON THE WEB

The Virtual Dog Web site (www.virtualdog.com) is an amusing way to spend part of a wintry weekend afternoon. Although the site ran a bit slugglishly every time I tried it, it was still fun to play with. The site allows you to adopt a dog of several different breeds, and then take care of your virtual pet: buying supplies, feeding and watering, taking your dog to the veterinarian or the park. Cat lovers will one day have a chance to play, too. A Virtual Cat site is in development at www.virtualcat.com.

THE SCOOP

A couple of months ago a "Dateline" piece revealed that the hot new "lifelike" line of stuffed pets got the "real" look with real fur -- the pieces were made in China from the fur of slaughtered dogs and cats. Many pet lovers had already bought the items, and others were left wondering how to tell synthetic fur from the real stuff in the future.

In its latest edition, the always outstanding Animal People newspaper (www.animalpeoplenews.org) explains the way to tell real fur from fake fur. Although you wouldn't want to try this in a store, if you're curious about a stuffed animal you already own, you can snip off a tiny bit of fur and put a match to it. Synthetic fur smells like plastic when burned; real fur smells like burnt hair. The editors also add that household pets will act differently around stuffed toys made with cat or dog hair -- trying to groom pieces or marking them with urine. Animal People is available for $24 a year from P.O. Box 960, Clinton, WA 98236-0960; phone: (360) 579-2505.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I am sorry for the loss of your little bird, Patrick. I too have numerous pets, birds included. Some are more special than others, but all their losses hurt. I've cried over the babies who only lasted an hour or two as well as the loss of some of my favorites.

Just remember that Patrick was special in his own way and brightened your life. Your next bird -- whether a parakeet, conure or amazon -- will do the same thing, but in a different way. No one can take away what you two shared, and no one should be making light of it.

My heart goes out to you. It'll get better with time. -- C.K., via e-mail

A: Thank you so much for writing. Yours was one of a couple of hundred e-mails and letters I received after I wrote about the loss of my little Senegal parrot, Patrick. I'll never stop missing him, although you're absolutely right that the pain lessens over time. With every pet I've said goodbye to, there has always been a point where remembering brought me happiness, not tears.

It'll be a while before I get there with Patrick, but I will. The cage is scrubbed out, the dishes and toys cleaned and sterilized (a dishwasher is truly a bird lover's best friend!). While I could never "replace" Patrick, his enduring legacy is that I can no longer imagine life without a bird. Sometime in the next few months, that cage will be full of life again. You can be sure I'll be writing about that happy day.

Q: Our dog has a problem with smelly stuff coming out of what our veterinarian says are his anal glands. What can we do about this? -- G.V., via e-mail

A: Many dog owners live in blissful ignorance of anal glands, two little sacs that produce a fluid that carries the unique scent by which dogs identify each other. Anal glands are why dogs sniff each other's rumps when they meet.

Disgusting as they may be to us, anal glands should not be ignored. If not "expressed" regularly, they can become impacted or infected.

The best way to prevent trouble is to empty the anal sacs every time you bathe your dog. The least repulsive way to handle this is to suds up the area well, including your hand, and then place your thumb and forefinger on the outside of each gland, just below the skin on either side of the anus -- you'll feel them as small lumps below the surface. Gently squeeze your fingers inward and together, and you should get a noxious mess for your efforts. Suds and rinse a couple of times, and it'll be gone.

If your dog cries out when you touch the glands or if the area is swollen, call your veterinarian. If you absolutely can't stand to empty your dog's anal glands, your vet or groomer will be happy to do it for you.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

When I first started writing about the importance of taking care of a pet's teeth, the response I most often heard was one of astonishment. "I'm supposed to brush my dog's teeth?" pet lovers would say. "You're kidding, right?"

These days, pet lovers respond not with surprise, but with guilt. "I know I should brush my pet's teeth, but I don't because my cat won't put up with it," they say. Or they don't have time, or they forget.

And so ignorance becomes guilt. Now that's progress! And the next step: good dental health from the very beginning.

Veterinarians now recommend training kittens and puppies to accept having their teeth brushed, a job that's not really that hard even with older dogs and cats. Approach the task with a positive attitude, take it slow and easy, and then follow with something the pet likes -- a play session or even a food treat.

For kittens and puppies, the focus is on training and prevention, but adult pets may need veterinary attention before a preventive-care program can help. Your veterinarian should check your pet's mouth, teeth and gums during the annual physical, and make recommendations based on what he or she finds there. For many pets, that'll mean a complete dentistry under anesthesia. The procedure takes 45 minutes to an hour, and involves not only cleaning and polishing the teeth, but also checking for and treating broken or rotting teeth, cavities, abscesses and periodontal disease.

Today's anesthetics are dramatically safer than even a few years ago, making the dangers and pain of untreated dental problems the bigger risk to health, even with older pets.

After the problems are treated, at-home care can keep things in good shape. Here are some tips:

-- Brush or wipe the teeth regularly. Use a toothpaste designed for dogs and cats a couple of times a week at least, although daily is better.

Salt or baking soda isn't recommended because too much of the salt gets swallowed, and with small pets that could be a problem. Toothpaste for people is likewise out, because animals don't know how to rinse and spit. Pet toothpastes contain enzymes that help dissolve plaque and don't need to be rinsed. They also have a flavor pets appreciate.

Use a children's soft toothbrush or one made especially for pets. You can also use plain gauze wrapped around a finger or a fingertip brush. Some vets suggest that gauze may work better with cats, especially if dipped in tuna or clam juice first.

-- Switch to dry food and offer teeth-cleaning toys. Some pet-food companies now offer kibble with a mild abrasive texture to help keep teeth clean. You might ask your vet about these if tartar buildup is a chronic problem for your pet.

Soft chew toys and a chew rope can help keep teeth clean, too. Avoid chews that are hard or are prone to breaking into sharp pieces. These can break teeth or slice gums.

My own perspective on good dental care comes from my oldest dog, Andy, who'll be 14 in June. Although I admit I've been sporadic with the brushing over the years, I've made sure Andy has had dental cleanings under anesthesia on an annual basic well into his senior years. Instead of the smelly painful mess of a mouth that so many older dogs have, Andy has a every tooth he was born with, all in fine shape. No doggy breath, no problems eating. He's a healthy, happy dog, despite his advanced age.

Andy is the first of my dogs to get the best of preventive health care from the day he was born, and it shows.

PETS ON THE WEB

The best pet dental site on the Web belongs to Florida veterinarian Dr. Jan Bellows. His All Pets Dental Web site (www.dentalvet.com) is astonishing in the breadth of information offered. Bellows offers detailed explanations and lots of pictures of every way that dog and cat teeth should fit together and all the ways they don't. And he's also got details of everything else that could possibly go wrong -- missing teeth, extra teeth, broken teeth, rotting teeth, and a whole lot of nasty things that can happen to gums, too. Here's a tip: Don't look at the periodontal section around mealtime (yuck!).

THE SCOOP

Predators always consider the possibility that something new in their environment may be edible. Prey animals have to figure the addition's something that could eat them. Is it any wonder that pets such as birds and rabbits, both of whom are considered a tasty mouthful by many creatures in the wild, may not react with enthusiasm to changes in the world around them? These pets may initially fear new toys, new cages or new foods. Even though your pet may be slow to warm up to new things, don't hesitate to introduce him to fresh experiences and variety. Just proceed slowly, and with an understanding of his take on change.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We have a problem in our neighborhood with loose dogs, some of whom are unfriendly. My golden and I like to take a walk after dinner, and I worry about dealing with these dogs. My dog's very friendly, but I want to be ready if she gets attacked. I need to know what's the best way to break up a dogfight. -- G.L., via e-mail

A: Anyone who has ever walked a dog has experienced that terrifying moment when a vicious, unleashed dog seems intent on doing harm to your pet. It's a dangerous situation even for owners of big dogs; for small dogs, it could be a fatal encounter.

While the best strategy is to avoid dogs who appear aggressive -- with erect body stances instead of the relaxed, ears-back attitude of a dog coming over to play -- sometimes there's no escape from a dominant dog. If the other dog's owner is nearby, demand that he put his canine terrorist on leash. You might have to be very forceful about this: People with aggressive dogs often live in a world of denial, failing to recognize the signs of danger in their own pets.

Aggressive dogs start by sniffing, and you can short-circuit their behavior by blocking the places on your dog that are most inviting. Bring your dog into a close sitting position facing you, and whirl your leash to distract and frighten the other dog. An angry yell may also stall the other dog -- and attract the help you need.

If a fight starts, stay out of it. Tough advice, I know, but you could be badly hurt. If you're willing to risk a bite and there's another person to help, pull the dogs apart by their tails, not their collars! If there's a hose nearby, hitting the dogs in chops with a high-volume water spray will usually stop the action.

Be sure to check your dog over for injuries when you're safely clear of the scene, and don't forget to call your local animal-control department to get the aggressive animal picked up. If there's a dog in your neighborhood who's always out, enlist your neighbors' help in complaining to authorities. By getting the dog removed you could well save the life of a pet -- or even a child!

Q: We have an outdoor Persian who is just one big mat. Any tips on getting his coat back in shape? -- A.R., via the Internet

A: Your letter contains two words that really don't belong next to each other: "outdoor" and "Persian." While long hair may have originally developed in cats as a protection against the elements, the silky coat of the modern Persian itself needs protection. These lush coats are a mat waiting to happen.

It's cruel to comb out a full-body mat, and I doubt your cat will put up with any of your attempts to do so. When coat problems get out of hand, the kindest thing to do is have the fur cut short -- and resolve to take good care of it as it grows back in. A professional groomer with cat experience is the best choice.

You can fix a single mat by working cornstarch into it and then slicing through it lengthwise once or twice with scissors. You should then be able to pick apart the mat gently and avoid the hideous appearance caused by hacking out the entire mess at the base.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600