I love houseplants. I pore over seed catalogs, kick around nurseries, and fill my home with plants of all description. And then I abuse them horribly.

Sometimes I kill them with kindness, other times with neglect. Had I the knack with pets that I have with houseplants, I'd have long ago been jailed for animal abuse. But I mean well, and I'm always trying to do better. The same cannot be said for pets, who sometimes seem to go out of their way to ensure a plant-free home. Cats, in particular, take delight in the many cruelties they can inflict on innocent greens.

Chances are you're better at houseplants than I am, just because it's hard to imagine anyone could be worse. If you've taken the side of your plants against your cat, there are steps you can take to protect your plants and still provide your cat with the greens he loves.

First and foremost, realize you're going to have to sacrifice some plants to save the others: Set aside some space for a cat-friendly plant collection. Give your cat some plants for nibbling, some for sniffing and some for play. For chewing, always keep a pot of tender grass seedlings -- rye, alfalfa and wheat -- growing in a sunny spot. Parsley and thyme are herbs that many cats enjoy smelling and chewing, and both can be grown indoors. Try some different varieties, especially with the parsley.

Catnip is a natural for any cat garden. The stuff is so appealing to some cats they just won't leave it alone. Because of this, keep seedlings out of reach of your pet, or the plant may never get a chance to reach maturity. Once you've got a mature plant, snip off pieces to give your cat, stuff into toys or rub on cat trees. Catnip can't hurt your pet, so let him get as blissed out as he wants. Don't be surprised, however, if catnip has no effect at all: The ability to enjoy the herb is genetic, and many cats do not possess the "catnip gene."

When your cat has his own plants, you can work on keeping him away from the rest. Plants on the ground or on low tables are the easiest targets, so make your houseplants less accessible to the bored and wandering cat. Put plants up high, or better yet -- hang them!

For the plants that you can't move out of harm's way, make them less appealing by coating leaves with something your cat finds disagreeable. Cat-discouragers include Bitter Apple, a nasty-tasting substance available at any pet-supply store, or Tabasco sauce from any grocery store. Whenever you find what your cat doesn't like, keep reapplying it to enforce the point.

Once your cat learns the leaves aren't so tasty, you can teach him that dirt isn't for digging and pots aren't for tipping. Pot your plants in heavy, wide-bottomed containers and cover the soil of the problem plants with rough decorative rock. Foil and waxed paper are less attractive deterrents, and I don't like to recommend them as much as decorative rock because you're going to get tired of looking at that foil.

You can also deter your cat from even approaching pots by using carpet runners around the plants, with the pointy-side up. Commercial products such as the Scat Mat work well, too, giving off a small electric charge (like a carpet shock) to the pet who steps where he shouldn't.

Whatever tool or combination of tools you choose, remember that the most important ones are patience and compromise. Give your cat the greens he wants and make the rest less attractive to him, and a lush indoor garden will one day be yours for both you and your pet to enjoy.

PETS ON THE WEB

Cornell University has put a list of poisonous plants on the Internet at www.ansci.cornell.edu/plants/plants.html. Another veterinary-school toxic plants listing is the University of Pennsylvania's, at http://cal.vet.upenn.edu/poison/index.html. The ASPCA National Animal Poison Control Center, offers its "Household Plant Reference" in book form for $15, including shipping and handling. To get a copy, write to ASPCA National Animal Poison Control Center, 1717 S. Philo Road, Suite No. 36, Urbana, IL 61802. Although you won't find a list of plants there, you can find out more about the organization at its Web site, www.napcc.aspca.org.

THE SCOOP

This is the time of year when that old saw gets trotted out warning people with pets to avoid poinsettias. In fact, poinsettias are not the toxic menace they're purported to be, and you can safely decorate your home with them. What if your pet munches down a few leaves? The worse that could happen might be a tummy ache, followed by vomiting. Not pleasant, to be sure, but hardly worth flying in a panic to see the emergency vet.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I'm thinking about teaching my golden retriever to pull a sled with kids on it. Is this good or bad for this breed? How do I train him to pull a sled and steer it correctly? -- M.G., via e-mail

A: Hauling goods is work that has traditionally been shared by members of both the equine and canine families. Many dog breeds such as the Alaskan malamute and Bernese mountain dog were developed specifically to work pulling sleds or carts for human masters.

Although most dogs no longer must work for a living, traditional drafting skills are still in use in sports such as sled-dog racing, skijoring (cross-country skiing with a dog) and carting. All kinds of dogs and mixes have taken to harness, including retrievers such as yours, setters and even standard poodles.

Your golden will likely enjoy pulling a sled, but please make sure he's healthy before starting any training -- check with your veterinarian. And don't get started until you have the proper equipment, also for your dog's protection.

You'll need a harness designed for draft work, properly fitted and padded. Harnesses sold for dog-walking aren't designed for pulling, nor are collars. If you can't find sled-dog supplies in your area, you'll need to order from a specialty retailer, such as Free Spirit Outfitter (12324 Little Pine Road SW, Brainerd, MN 56401; 800-355-5575; www.gearfordogs.com).

If your dog walks well on leash, you can start right in with the draft training. If he doesn't, you'll need some basic leash training before putting him in harness. Although some dogs are trained to follow steering commands ("gee" for "right," "haw" for left and so on), I'd recommend handling the direction of the sled yourself, keeping your dog on leash and walking along beside him. That way you can be sure he doesn't get out of control or overexert himself.

Before you load on the kids, get your dog used to the idea of pulling with an empty sled. Encourage him forward and praise him for his efforts. Keep things positive, and your dog should come to enjoy his special job.

Q: We recently took in a stray cat and have been giving her milk. We were just told by a neighbor that milk is bad for cats, and that surprised us. We thought cats need milk. Who's right? - C.B., via e-mail

A: Cats have been drinking cow's milk since the first day one sneaked into a barn. They like it, that's for sure. But do they need cow's milk? Not at all.

Mother's milk -- from their own cat mother -- is the perfect food for kittens. And while they're little, they get everything they need from it, including important antibodies. After the age of 12 weeks or so, however, a few cats lose the ability to digest the lactose in the milk. For those cats, milk isn't recommended and can cause loose stools. Others are fine drinking milk, but it doesn't provide any nutrition a cat couldn't get elsewhere.

In the wild, kittens never drink milk again after they're weaned, and your cat has no reason to, either. If your cat likes and can tolerate milk, however, feel free to offer it as an occasional treat. But remember that it's never a substitute for a properly balanced commercial diet or for fresh water.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

As a former child, I can remember a time when I wanted nothing for Christmas as much as I wanted a puppy. From kindergarten on, my lobbying campaign would start the day after Christmas and continue nonstop through the following holiday season.

Mom and Dad, I'm sorry. You were right: A Christmas puppy is a bad idea.

Today I am proof that a child can be denied a Christmas puppy and still grow up to be a more or less upstanding, moderately well-adjusted human being. Any flaws in my character I blame on them for not giving me a pony. (Just kidding, Mom and Dad. You were right about that, too.)

Despite overwhelming evidence (my brothers are good people, too, and they didn't get a Christmas puppy, either), every year parents give in to the begging of their children. They imagine the Christmas puppy as the most precious Norman Rockwell snapshots ever, the puppy in a box, the puppy with a ribbon, the puppy giving such a perfect kiss to the oh-so-happy face of a child.

OK, fine, but what then?

Puppies are not toys. They are living, breathing (not to mention eating and peeing) beings who need a lot of attention. Who has time for a pup during the holidays, that stressful season of socializing and shopping? With a houseful of guests and a holiday dinner to prepare, who will make sure the puppy isn't being mauled by overly enthusiastic children and guests? Who has time to get house-training started right?

But wait. Let's back up a little and look at another Christmas reality. Many reputable breeders and shelters flat-out won't cooperate with your Christmas puppy lust. The sellers who have puppies now are more likely to have money as their motive. Breeders like this are not likely to cut into profits with pesky screening for genetic diseases, nor are they likely to know or care about the importance of socialization. These attitudes may cost you in the long run, both in dollars and in heartbreak.

But say you find the right puppy anyway. It's still a bad time to get a puppy. Doubt me? Try house-training a puppy in the snow. Are you really so keen on the idea that you want to be out on winter nights, shivering while a puppy carefully contemplates whether he'd rather sniff or pee?

What about the rest of the training? The first few months of a dog's life are crucial: Bad habits are far easier to prevent than they are to break later. Will you really feel like training your pup when the holidays are over, the days are short, and the kids are back in school? How will you socialize your young dog? In the summer you have parks; in the winter you have ... nothing.

Dogs who grow up unhouse-trained, unmannered and unsocialized too often never get a chance to grow up much at all. Every fall, I get dozens and dozens of letters from people who are tearing out their hair over their now-adolescent Christmas puppy. Every fall, the shelters see more than their share of these dogs. Sad for the families, tragic for the dogs.

Dogs can be great for children, and children can be great with dogs. But Christmas is not the best time to launch such a promising relationship. Somebody has to be the grown-up here, and if you're the parent, it should be you. Wait until late spring or early summer to find the perfect pup and get him off to a great start.

PETS ON THE WEB

This season is prime time for the wholesale dog-breeding industry, which revs up to meet the demand for holiday pets. Activist Kim Townsend has revved up, too, with a Web site designed to educate pet buyers about the cruelties that still exist in the industry. Her Web site (www.nopuppymills.com) is a no-holds-barred look at the problems with commercial puppy breeders, with articles on the history of puppy mills, and why she believes you should not support them. If you've ever found yourself humming "How Much Is That Puppy in the Window?" you need to view this site to find out just how high the cost truly is, to both animals and consumers.

THE SCOOP

If you walk or run after dark, you're probably aware that it's a good idea to wear some sort of reflective garb so drivers can see you and avoid you. But do you realize your dog needs protection, too? If your dog walks on your left side and you walk with the flow of traffic, you put your pup in harm's way. A driver might see you but not notice your canine companion, especially if he's a dark-coated dog. You might find reflective wear at your local pet-supply store, but the best source of it is probably Glow Dog. The company's reflective garb includes vests, collars, bandanas and more -- for pets and people. Request a free catalog at 1-888-GLOWDOG (1-888-456-9364), or on the Web at www.glowdog.com.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We have recently adopted an adorable 3-month-old toy fox terrier whom we have named Tootsie. Our grown kids live out of state, and we have a fairly active social life. We will be gone from home sometimes up to a week, and we will want Tootsie kept in a kennel.

Before we leave town, should we first board her for a day once in a while to get her accustomed to it and assure her she is not being abandoned? -- A.L., Santa Rosa, Calif.

A: Why have her spend time away from you when she doesn't have to? If you've chosen a good kennel, she'll be just fine when the time comes to board her. Some dogs even come to adore their home away from home.

Since you have some time before you have to leave her, make sure you check out prospective kennels carefully. Ask your friends, co-workers and neighbors for recommendations, along with your veterinarian.

When you have a facility in mind, arrange for a look-see on short notice. You should see clean, comfortable and well-maintained facilities. Ask specifically where your dog will be kept and what arrangements will be made for exercise.

You should get a sense that the owners see your dog as an individual and are willing to tailor their service to your dog. Requests for special diets and medications, if necessary, should be cheerfully accommodated. You should also be allowed to leave favorite toys, bedding or even a sock with your scent on it behind to make your pet feel more at home.

A good kennel should require proof of vaccinations from all dogs, including one for canine infectious tracheobronchitis, commonly called kennel cough. You'll need to have your dog vaccinated against this highly infectious disease at least three weeks before a kennel stay, so don't leave it to the last minute. Finally, ask about veterinary care should your dog become ill, and be sure you're satisfied with the answers before leaving your dog.

Q: Can parakeets talk? Mine doesn't seem to be able to. When will he, if ever? -- D.K., via e-mail

A: Parakeets, more accurately known as budgerigars or budgies, are certainly capable of talking, as are many other parrots. A few budgies have become quite good at talking, in fact, developing vocabularies of 100 words or more. That said, your bird may never utter a word. The only guaranteed way to have a talking bird is to bring one home who's already talking.

You can try to teach your bird to talk by repeating words clearly, or even by using tapes or computer programs that do so. You can nurture communication further by using the words in their proper context and by setting up an association your bird can grasp.

For example, every time your bird lowers his head for a scratch, ask him, "Wanna scratch?" and then scratch him. When you give him food or toys, call them by name out loud. Play naming games with him. Say "grape" and then tell him "Good bird!" for taking it from you, and repeat the exercise.

You may have an easier time of teaching your bird to talk if yours is a one-bird household. Two birds may be more interested in talking their own language with each other than in figuring out yours. Some experts also suggest not attempting to teach your bird to whistle, at least not until he has picked up speech, since whistling birds seem to show a reluctance to use words.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

"Live girls. No cover."

Oh good, the strip joint. I was getting close. Now I just had to watch for the other landmarks: the junkyard, a burger joint, a gun club. Hmmmm. Interesting neighborhood.

Creeping in the back way, as I was told to by my source, I parked the car and walked as far away as I could from the handful of other people in the park. I looked around furtively. Did I see uniforms? Could I be caught? I took a deep breath and decided it was worth the chance.

I let the retrievers go off their leashes and watched as they ran gleefully for the lake.

Yes, it's true. When it comes to running my dogs, I'm a lawbreaker. And I'm not alone. In veterinary waiting rooms, in pet stores, at dog shows and on the Internet, a massive underground of determined dog lovers trade information on places to run our dogs.

We hate being criminals; we'd rather be legit: Give us some dog parks.

Most times I drive out of my city to a place where my dogs are welcomed off-leash. I've driven an hour, sometimes two, for the privilege of letting them swim legally. Although my community is slow to embrace the concept of dog parks, others in the region are not. The dog parks I visit are full of responsible pet lovers who play by the rules and govern by peer pressure. Leave a pet mess behind? Prepare to be yelled at. Dog untrained? Prepare to be lectured. Dog parks are too new, their existence too tenuous and altogether too precious. And those of us who use them aren't about to lose them because of the occasional chowderhead.

I'd choose a dedicated dog park to run my dogs in anytime. But I can't always drive out of town, so I also drive to local places where I let my dogs go off-leash illegally. I go at odd hours, when I know a park will be empty, and never on weekends. My dogs are friendly and well-socialized, they are under voice control, and yes, I clean up after them.

Why should dog lovers have to play this game? In terms of sheer numbers, we are a larger population than either tennis, soccer or softball players, all groups whose needs are recognized and addressed by those who plan public facilities. Our dogs are our chosen form of recreation, and we deserve facilities as much as any other group.

What worries me even more is not the people who run their dogs illegally, but those who never run their dogs at all. Exercise is one of the most important -- and least-recognized -- components of dog care, especially for large dogs. Destructive and anti-social behaviors find their roots in boredom and unspent nervous energy. How many dogs would be spared a trip to the shelter if only they had a place to be socialized and exercised on a regular basis? Considering that behavior problems are a top reason for abandonment, the numbers could be considerable.

Dog parks work, and they're just as good for dog haters as dog lovers. If the recreational needs of dog lovers are covered, it's perfectly fair to crack down on them elsewhere. Steep fines for off-leash dogs are justified in areas of high human use, just as long as there are alternatives elsewhere for off-leash play. And dog parks encourage responsible ownership, with the result being healthier, happier, better-socialized dogs. Such dogs are good citizens.

I don't like being a criminal, and I wouldn't be if my legitimate needs as a dog lover were recognized. If you feel the same way, let your elected officials know about it. Every community is capable of putting aside some space for dogs. Don't feel like writing a letter? Clip this column and send it to the decision-makers in your community. Your dogs will thank you, and so will mine.

PETS ON THE WEB

Felice Rood is a dynamo, a one-woman army fighting for the good of turtles and tortoises everywhere. Felice's World of Turtles (http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/felicerood) finally lets more people in on the commonsense care tips and lively sense of humor she previously shared only with members of the Sacramento Turtle and Tortoise Club. Best bets: excerpts from the club's newsletters, especially Rood's stories of her pets. The care sheets for various species are lifesavers. The site would be helped out a great deal, though, by links to other sites devoted to these charming beings, such as the extremely comprehensive site of the New York Turtle and Tortoise Society (www.nytts.org).

THE SCOOP

Hooded cat-boxes can be helpful in keeping odors down and snack-seeking dogs out of the litter, but there's more to the story. If you choose this kind of pan, don't forget that you must be stay current on your scooping duties -- even if you can't smell the mess, your cat can. Don't blame your cat for mistakes if you aren't diligent about cleanup. Another thing to remember: Hooded boxes should not be used if your cat has asthma because such cats need the increased ventilation of an open-air box.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I was a little upset about your answer to the person asking about border collies. A lot of what you said was correct, but you gave a false impression on some things.

I'm the president of the Border Collie Club of Northern California, and I live with seven BCs. No, I do not own land or sheep. Many of us don't, yet we and the dogs do just fine.

All dogs need interaction with their people. Left to his own devices, any dog will become a pain. BCs love toys and love to retrieve. And even a middle-aged, overweight person such as myself can throw a ball or Frisbee to give them exercise. I like it that they are so smart -- it makes life more fun. Most are sensitive, can be protective, and usually love to play with children.

If someone is looking for a particular breed, read all you can about that breed, talk to anyone and everyone who has that breed, meet as many breeders as possible, go to breed shows, ask questions, contact the AKC, and don't be quick to take the first dog you see. As with all breeds, some lines differ, and some are calmer than others. I too do not want them in the wrong hands. There are too many in rescue now! Also, sometimes an older BC would be just the ticket for someone.

I have had many other breeds, but none compare to the BC. -- Janice Gillman, Ione, Calif.

Q: Thank you for telling people how it is with border collies. I have been owned by border collies my entire life, most of it on a farm. We now live in a small town, and even with our 10 to 20K runs every day, they need more! I have rescued (adopted from owners who were going insane) six BCs. Without constant stimulation, they will give themselves a task, usually destructive one that's hard to break. I love the breed and could not do without my collies, but I hate to see the confusion and loss when they are abandoned. -- Mary Cafik, via e-mail

A: There is no breed quite like the border collie in terms of brains, drive and athleticism. And there's no doubt a border collie will be quite miserable in the hands of someone who can't or won't work to fulfill the needs of this breed. You can do without the sheep, but not without time and dedication.

Janice Gillman's advice is on the money. You simply must know what you're getting into, no matter what kind of pet you're thinking of adding to your household. All pets require a measure of time and responsibility, and some require a great deal of both. Be prepared in advance, and be prepared to follow through. You owe it to your pet.

Q: I was reading your "what to do if you find a lost pet" column, and you said to check for a microchip. What is the microchip? How does it work, and how is it put in an animal? -- C.D., via e-mail

A: The microchip is permanent identification about the size of a grain of rice, injected using a large needle. For dogs and cats, the chips are imbedded in the loose skin over the shoulder blades; for birds, the chips go in the breast.

Each microchip carries a unique number, which is read when a scanner is waved over it. That number is then matched up with information that will reunite the pet with his family.

Microchips were once of dubious value for returning lost pets because one company's chips couldn't be read by another company's scanner, and shelters couldn't and wouldn't cope with competing systems. That's changed, with moves by manufacturers toward one industry standard. It'll cost anything from $20 to $50 to have your pet "chipped" by your veterinarian, but it's a good investment in your pet's safety.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600