"Live girls. No cover."

Oh good, the strip joint. I was getting close. Now I just had to watch for the other landmarks: the junkyard, a burger joint, a gun club. Hmmmm. Interesting neighborhood.

Creeping in the back way, as I was told to by my source, I parked the car and walked as far away as I could from the handful of other people in the park. I looked around furtively. Did I see uniforms? Could I be caught? I took a deep breath and decided it was worth the chance.

I let the retrievers go off their leashes and watched as they ran gleefully for the lake.

Yes, it's true. When it comes to running my dogs, I'm a lawbreaker. And I'm not alone. In veterinary waiting rooms, in pet stores, at dog shows and on the Internet, a massive underground of determined dog lovers trade information on places to run our dogs.

We hate being criminals; we'd rather be legit: Give us some dog parks.

Most times I drive out of my city to a place where my dogs are welcomed off-leash. I've driven an hour, sometimes two, for the privilege of letting them swim legally. Although my community is slow to embrace the concept of dog parks, others in the region are not. The dog parks I visit are full of responsible pet lovers who play by the rules and govern by peer pressure. Leave a pet mess behind? Prepare to be yelled at. Dog untrained? Prepare to be lectured. Dog parks are too new, their existence too tenuous and altogether too precious. And those of us who use them aren't about to lose them because of the occasional chowderhead.

I'd choose a dedicated dog park to run my dogs in anytime. But I can't always drive out of town, so I also drive to local places where I let my dogs go off-leash illegally. I go at odd hours, when I know a park will be empty, and never on weekends. My dogs are friendly and well-socialized, they are under voice control, and yes, I clean up after them.

Why should dog lovers have to play this game? In terms of sheer numbers, we are a larger population than either tennis, soccer or softball players, all groups whose needs are recognized and addressed by those who plan public facilities. Our dogs are our chosen form of recreation, and we deserve facilities as much as any other group.

What worries me even more is not the people who run their dogs illegally, but those who never run their dogs at all. Exercise is one of the most important -- and least-recognized -- components of dog care, especially for large dogs. Destructive and anti-social behaviors find their roots in boredom and unspent nervous energy. How many dogs would be spared a trip to the shelter if only they had a place to be socialized and exercised on a regular basis? Considering that behavior problems are a top reason for abandonment, the numbers could be considerable.

Dog parks work, and they're just as good for dog haters as dog lovers. If the recreational needs of dog lovers are covered, it's perfectly fair to crack down on them elsewhere. Steep fines for off-leash dogs are justified in areas of high human use, just as long as there are alternatives elsewhere for off-leash play. And dog parks encourage responsible ownership, with the result being healthier, happier, better-socialized dogs. Such dogs are good citizens.

I don't like being a criminal, and I wouldn't be if my legitimate needs as a dog lover were recognized. If you feel the same way, let your elected officials know about it. Every community is capable of putting aside some space for dogs. Don't feel like writing a letter? Clip this column and send it to the decision-makers in your community. Your dogs will thank you, and so will mine.

PETS ON THE WEB

Felice Rood is a dynamo, a one-woman army fighting for the good of turtles and tortoises everywhere. Felice's World of Turtles (http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/felicerood) finally lets more people in on the commonsense care tips and lively sense of humor she previously shared only with members of the Sacramento Turtle and Tortoise Club. Best bets: excerpts from the club's newsletters, especially Rood's stories of her pets. The care sheets for various species are lifesavers. The site would be helped out a great deal, though, by links to other sites devoted to these charming beings, such as the extremely comprehensive site of the New York Turtle and Tortoise Society (www.nytts.org).

THE SCOOP

Hooded cat-boxes can be helpful in keeping odors down and snack-seeking dogs out of the litter, but there's more to the story. If you choose this kind of pan, don't forget that you must be stay current on your scooping duties -- even if you can't smell the mess, your cat can. Don't blame your cat for mistakes if you aren't diligent about cleanup. Another thing to remember: Hooded boxes should not be used if your cat has asthma because such cats need the increased ventilation of an open-air box.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I was a little upset about your answer to the person asking about border collies. A lot of what you said was correct, but you gave a false impression on some things.

I'm the president of the Border Collie Club of Northern California, and I live with seven BCs. No, I do not own land or sheep. Many of us don't, yet we and the dogs do just fine.

All dogs need interaction with their people. Left to his own devices, any dog will become a pain. BCs love toys and love to retrieve. And even a middle-aged, overweight person such as myself can throw a ball or Frisbee to give them exercise. I like it that they are so smart -- it makes life more fun. Most are sensitive, can be protective, and usually love to play with children.

If someone is looking for a particular breed, read all you can about that breed, talk to anyone and everyone who has that breed, meet as many breeders as possible, go to breed shows, ask questions, contact the AKC, and don't be quick to take the first dog you see. As with all breeds, some lines differ, and some are calmer than others. I too do not want them in the wrong hands. There are too many in rescue now! Also, sometimes an older BC would be just the ticket for someone.

I have had many other breeds, but none compare to the BC. -- Janice Gillman, Ione, Calif.

Q: Thank you for telling people how it is with border collies. I have been owned by border collies my entire life, most of it on a farm. We now live in a small town, and even with our 10 to 20K runs every day, they need more! I have rescued (adopted from owners who were going insane) six BCs. Without constant stimulation, they will give themselves a task, usually destructive one that's hard to break. I love the breed and could not do without my collies, but I hate to see the confusion and loss when they are abandoned. -- Mary Cafik, via e-mail

A: There is no breed quite like the border collie in terms of brains, drive and athleticism. And there's no doubt a border collie will be quite miserable in the hands of someone who can't or won't work to fulfill the needs of this breed. You can do without the sheep, but not without time and dedication.

Janice Gillman's advice is on the money. You simply must know what you're getting into, no matter what kind of pet you're thinking of adding to your household. All pets require a measure of time and responsibility, and some require a great deal of both. Be prepared in advance, and be prepared to follow through. You owe it to your pet.

Q: I was reading your "what to do if you find a lost pet" column, and you said to check for a microchip. What is the microchip? How does it work, and how is it put in an animal? -- C.D., via e-mail

A: The microchip is permanent identification about the size of a grain of rice, injected using a large needle. For dogs and cats, the chips are imbedded in the loose skin over the shoulder blades; for birds, the chips go in the breast.

Each microchip carries a unique number, which is read when a scanner is waved over it. That number is then matched up with information that will reunite the pet with his family.

Microchips were once of dubious value for returning lost pets because one company's chips couldn't be read by another company's scanner, and shelters couldn't and wouldn't cope with competing systems. That's changed, with moves by manufacturers toward one industry standard. It'll cost anything from $20 to $50 to have your pet "chipped" by your veterinarian, but it's a good investment in your pet's safety.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Claudia Presto realizes some people might think she's crazy to have given up a high-paying job in Connecticut to move to a small town in Utah and dedicate her life to unwanted racing dogs. But she doesn't much care what people think.

She's happy, and so are her greyhounds. And that's all that really matters.

Presto is one of hundreds of volunteers nationwide who take retired racers, foster them and find them new homes. Before greyhound rescue became a national movement, the lives of most of the sweet, soft-eyed dogs ended pretty much when their racing careers did. The lucky ones were euthanized humanely; others got a bullet behind the ear, or were sold to biomedical laboratories.

Although some greyhounds still meet such fates, an increasing number end up as pets. Presto alone places 20 to 40 dogs a year through her one-person nonprofit organization, the Greyhound Gang. Every life saved confirms her belief she did the right thing -- and the clean air and handsome view outside her home don't hurt, either.

"I turned 40 in corporate America, and I didn't want to be there anymore," she says, sitting cross-legged in a plastic chair outside her home, her stylishly short-cropped hair still hinting of the jobs she once had. "I finally raised my hand and said, 'Size me down.'"

She was already involved in greyhound rescue before she left her job, and knew she wanted to do more for the dogs she'd come to love. She and an ex-racer named Slim traveled the country in a 16-foot trailer, trying places on for size, until she came to Kanab, a small town in the middle of some of the world's most spectacular scenery: the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon and Zion national parks.

"I just fell in love with the place," she said. She settled in and started rescuing, housing her own dogs and her fosters in her small house on a couple of acres beneath the red-rock mountains that ring the town. "I left Connecticut because I wanted freedom. Freedom and land to rescue greyhounds."

That was six years ago. She incorporated as a nonprofit four years ago, although her charity still draws $4,000 to $7,000 a year out of her own pocket. "There are many like me paying for the care of these rescued dogs," she says, with a hint of anger toward the industry that produces the dogs, "and that's money those who breed and race the dogs should be spending."

The greyhounds snooze in the sun while she talks, their calmness contrasting with her energy. There are five dogs now, up to six at any given time -- two permanent, the rest fosters. Presto gets her dogs from a group in Tucson that takes them off the track, or one in Colorado that takes the dogs who never make it that far. She has recently started to specialize in hard-to-place dogs, older dogs, or dogs who need some time to realize their potential as pets. Some of them stay for months or more.

She spends a great deal of time in Las Vegas, more than three hours away, sitting at a table in a pet store to educate people about the dogs and turn up a home or two. Add to that the seven-hour trips to pick up new dogs, and Presto seems to be spending a lot of time on the road.

It's hard work, especially when you consider she still has to make a living, which she's done in the past through part-time consulting work. But there's no turning back.

Not even for the small town of Kanab, which is preparing for Presto's second Greyhound Gathering next May 12-14, a celebration of the dogs that will include a parade, a 10K run and plenty of shopping. The inaugural event drew 150 people and their dogs, and Presto's expecting an even better turnout this year.

Crazy? Maybe so. But seeing how happy the dogs are, and how happy Presto is because of what she does on their behalf, makes a pretty strong argument that she's not so crazy after all.

PETS ON THE WEB

The Greyhound Gang's Web site (www.greyhoundgang.com) offers a lot of solid information about adopting and living with these wonderful dogs. The site also offers links to other "greyt" sites, information on the upcoming Greyhound Gathering, and even a place to buy T-shirts and other gear, with proceeds going to the Greyhound Gang's rescue and placement program. Presto can also be reached at P.O. Box 274, Kanab, UT 84741.

THE SCOOP

If you dislike covering your house with pesticides but dislike pests even more, then this tidbit is for you. Best Friends magazine, a bimonthly publication put out by the nonprofit Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, reports that catnip is a natural deterrent to such pests as roaches, mice, spiders, flies and crickets. The magazine didn't cite a source for the information, and who knows if the strategy works or not. But if you have cats who go nuts for catnip (not all cats do), you could sure have some fun experimenting.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: My mother-in-law has a garden at her lake house that she tends only on the weekends when they stay there. During the week, the deer have a field day munching on the tomatoes, beans and flowers.

Whenever I visit with my two double-coated Siberian huskies, I always groom them before we leave for home to cut down on the hair flying around in the car and because they've been in the water all weekend. One day after doing this, I was about to put four grocery bags full of husky hair in the trash, when my mother-in-law stopped me.

She said that she could spread the husky hair around her garden while she was away and that the dog smell coming from it would keep away the deer. Pretty clever, I thought. -- A.C., Atlanta

A: If it works, it is. To be honest, my friends who garden in the foothills near my home swear there is nothing on earth that will keep a determined deer from dinner. They've tried most everything, including -- and I'm not making this up -- marking the perimeter of the garden with human urine. Some things work for a while, and some don't work at all. But it doesn't hurt to try, does it?

Yours wasn't the only letter in reaction to my comments a few weeks ago on using dog fur for sweaters. One person wondered if the combings from a long-haired cat would work as well, and another asked how one would possibly clean the fur of dirt and fleas.

The problem with the cat would be one of volume. No cat ever born could compete with the shedding of a big dog like a Siberian. If you're patient (or have a lot of cats) you'll eventually end up with enough long, silky hair at least for a scarf. I discovered from another reader that the fur of long-haired bunnies makes a nice yarn, too.

As for cleaning fur of dirt and parasites, have you ever seen what sheep look like (and smell like) after they've been in the field for a while, before they're sheared? Seems as if everything comes out in the wash!

Q: I really need your advice on how to help my dog survive the fireworks over this New Year's holiday. I got some tranquilizers from the veterinarian a few years ago, but hated to see my pet struggle and stagger around. I cut down the dosage last year, but she still was very upset.

Should I go back to the full dosage? Is there only one type or brand of tranquilizer available? -- C.V., via e-mail

A: Talk to your veterinarian about your dog's reaction, and ask about the dosage or alternative medications. A referral to a behaviorist can also help, since such a professional can help you set up a program to desensitize your pet to loud noises.

Pet owners sometimes make matters worse with frightened dogs by trying to reassure them. The proper response to your dog's fear is to "jolly her along" and encourage confident behavior. When you pet and soothe your dog when she shows fear, what you're really doing is rewarding her behavior and making matters worse.

Sometimes the best you can do is provide your pet with a small, safe area indoors where she can't hurt herself, and mask the outside revelry as best you can with the radio.

Talk to your vet about all the options and experiment with what strategy, or combination, will work for your dog.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

The recent news that Americans are getting fatter didn't come as a surprise to many people, and certainly not to veterinarians, who've been watching an ever-larger flow of fatter people bring fatter pets into their hospitals and clinics.

Although there's not always a connection -- for example, I'm a lot fatter than I should be, but my pets are lean -- pets are getting larger for the same reason people are: too much food and not enough exercise.

Obesity in pets causes a lot of the same problems it does in people. An overweight pet is prone to a host of related problems, including diabetes, joint, ligament and tendon problems, breathing and heart problems. Overweight cats can even develop skin problems from not being able to groom themselves properly. Overall, fat pets face lives that are often uncomfortable and shorter, just as fat people do.

The good news is that it's not that difficult to trim down pets. After all, they can't open the refrigerator on their own, nor can they grab the car keys for a fast-food run or phone out for pizza. What pets eat is wholly dependent on what we give them. And although we might shudder at the idea of exercise, our pets are always up for a brisk walk, a game of fetch or some play with a toy on a string. They love to move, especially if we're moving with them.

Is your pet overweight? Healthy pets have some padding over them, but a little is plenty. Rub your hands over your pet's ribs. The skin should move easily back and forth, and you should be able to feel the ribs. Your pet should have a definable "waist" at the bottom of the rib cage, a small tuck-in at the stomach. Take a look from the side: If your pet looks pregnant, he's fat. From above, a bump out from the middle into an apple shape is equally bad news. And it's not just dogs and cats in trouble: Birds can be obese, too, developing a thicker breast and even rolls of fat.

Certain breeds and species seem more susceptible to spread. In dogs, Labradors beef up pretty easily, as do cockers. Less-active cats such as Persians are more prone to gaining weight than the go-go breeds such as the Siamese. And in birds, Amazon parrots are the likeliest candidates to become perch potatoes.

Crash diets aren't good for pets, especially not for fat cats, who can develop a fatal liver problem if forced to reduce too quickly. A pet doesn't get fat overnight, and he shouldn't be forced to change course any more rapidly. What you'll need to do is change your pet's eating and exercise habits gradually.

The best place to start is with a trip to your veterinarian. You'll want to make sure your pet doesn't have any problems that might make any lifestyle changes difficult. Your vet can also suggest a food plan that might help.

Carve some time out of your schedule to walk your dog or play with your cat -- three times a week, at least. Be sure to work in some aerobic exercise, anything that gets a cat or dog running. Birds can benefit from a curled-rope spring perch; they have to work to stay on the thing, decreasing boredom and increasing calorie burn.

Whatever food regimen you and your veterinarian decide on, be determined to stick to it. Get out of the habit of expressing your love for your pets by handing them pet treats. Keep the treat volume to a minimum, and switch to a reduced-calorie treat. (Don't use reduced calories as an excuse to give more.) Even better, substitute mini rice cakes and carrot sticks for the occasional dog treat. Dogs like them just fine, and they're not going to sabotage any weight-loss efforts.

Yes, it'll be hard in the beginning, what with those begging eyes and all. But don't give in. Your pet's life will be happier and longer if he's in the best of health.

PETS ON THE WEB

APBNews has pulled together a pretty good collection of news stories and feature packages related to animals on its Web site (www.apbnews.com/resourcecenter/indepth/animals/index.html). I tripped across it while exploring MSNBC's site (www.msnbc.com). The Animals and Crime page has some pretty depressing stories of man's inhumanity to animals. But it also has some cheerier pieces on dogs who fight crime on our behalf, the lowdown on home-protection dogs, and some basic but useful links to other resources. The site is updated regularly and well worth bookmarking.

THE SCOOP

The Denver Dumb Friends League has found a novel reuse for toilet seat covers. The fluffy, round and colorful bathroom accessories are just the right size for use as a comfortable kitty bed. Pet lovers in the Denver area know to donate their old covers when they get a little too worn to look good. They still have plenty of useful life for the kitties, though, and are easily washed to keep dirt and fleas at bay. It's a great idea that other shelters should consider, or even for trying at home. The next time you're replacing a worn-out cover, see if your shelter wants it, or if your cat does.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: OK, so it's cold in the morning now, and I notice the lady down the street has a sweater and boots on that stupid poodle of hers. I've never put a sweater on a dog in my life, and my Labs swim whenever the river's not frozen. You're the expert, so tell me: Is she nuts? -- L.N., via e-mail

A: Not about dog sweaters and boots, she isn't. Some dogs can really benefit from winter wear.

If poodles were allowed to grow their coat the way they were designed to, they'd end up covered with thick, twisted "cords" -- mats, really -- that would give them the protection they need against the cold. Corded coats are hard to maintain and not very attractive, though, so most folks with poodles keep them neatly trimmed with a visit to the groomer every six to eight weeks.

Fashion dictates a pretty close clip over the body, with shaved areas on the face, paws and base of the tail. The finished effect leaves the poodle pretty vulnerable to the cold. Add to this the fact that most of these dogs are house dogs and are not acclimated to the outside, and you've got a dog who's a prime candidate for accessorizing.

Poodles aren't the only dogs who can use the help. The short-coated dogs of the greyhound family -- greyhounds, whippets and Italian greyhounds -- are notoriously cold-blooded. They've little padding on their lean, aerodynamic bodies and need some help in cold weather to stay comfortable.

Some elderly dogs also have a hard time keeping themselves warm. For these old-timers, a sweater is an act of compassion. The bottom line: Sweaters don't hurt and they could help. While an Alaskan malamute in the prime of his life isn't going to need one, a lot of other dogs wouldn't mind at all.

Oh, and by the way: Poodles aren't stupid. They're generally considered to be in the top five breeds when it comes to smarts. The one on your street has a human being catering to his every need. How stupid is that?

Q: My cat has bad breath. I have tried brushing her teeth and buying breath fresheners for her. I can't afford to take her to the vet. What should I do? -- C.A., via e-mail

A: Sorry, but you'll have to visit your veterinarian. Bad breath isn't natural for dogs and cats, and it's not something you have to learn to live with. A foul mouth can be caused by broken or rotting teeth, infected gums or other diseases. Breath cleaners may help temporarily, but they cannot fix the underlying causes, problems that can be a serious threat to your pet's health.

Proper dental care isn't really about fixing bad breath. Chronic problems with teeth and gums can make eating painful for your pet, and they can shorten his life by showering internal organs with bacteria with every swallow.

Your veterinarian will likely suggest a complete cleaning under anesthesia, along with the treatment or removal of any damaged teeth. Yes, it costs money. But once it's done you can keep your pet's mouth in good shape through brushing, or by feeding special kibbles designed to scrap teeth clean as your pet chews.

Don't ignore your cat's problem. It'll only get worse (and more expensive) the longer you delay.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600