If you have a disease you don't want to be cured of, are you still sick? I ask, because I know I am a "petaholic," and it doesn't really much bother me.

I am in good company; that's part of the reason I don't worry. My friends, you see, are petaholics, too.

My youngest dog, Heather, has a best friend, a graceful Rhodesian ridgeback named Sirene. Luckily for the two dogs, I'm friends with Sirene's "parents," one of whom I meet frequently at a place where our dogs can run.

With the weather getting warmer, we've moved our dog play sessions to the cooler early morning. Only two things will pry me out of bed early: Taking the dogs to the park or going to a dog show. So you can see the signs of addiction have always been there.

But Sirene's "mom" really nailed it. We were walking around the dog park, her dog and my two retrievers running and playing, Andy trotting slowly along behind us. She and I were talking dogs, our dogs. As we walked we discussed their glossy coats, their diets, their fine, fit bodies. We talked about how good the walking was for Andy, closing in on age 13.

And then my friend paused.

"You know," she observed at last. "This walking is good for (BEGIN ITALS)us(END ITALS), too, but we never talk about that. And if we spent half as much energy on our own diets and fitness ..." She didn't need to complete the thought. The truth is, neither one of us is as fit and healthy as our dogs, and we both know it.

To be fair, my friend is a killer racquetball player, and I make it to the pool enough to be on a first-name basis with the health-club staff. But the fact remains: Our pets are better cared for than we are.

Perhaps, I told her, we should get someone like us to adopt us and keep us so well-cared-for.

And then there's the issue of food. Until my little Senegal parrot, Patrick, arrived in my life, the produce aisle of the supermarket wasn't a place I knew that well. And what I did buy mostly rotted in the refrigerator before I made that fabulous salad or prepared that wonderful low-fat veggie casserole.

But now I wander through the greens, wondering what Patrick will like, or even what he will eat at all. Avocados are deadly for birds, so they're off-limits, but hardly anything else is. The variety of fruits and vegetables I buy now is truly laudable. And little is thrown away anymore.

I'm going to argue that my pet addiction isn't a bad thing. The walking I do to keep old Andy limber isn't doing me any harm, and the lift I get from seeing the younger dogs play lasts for the rest of the day and then some. And it turns out I'm eating a lot more fruits and vegetables because of Patrick. If you're going to clean veggies for one, you might as well do it for two. Wouldn't you know it: We're all nuts for baby carrots, including the dogs.

I'm even losing weight, slowly, after years of struggle. The reasons, though, have as much to do with the dogs as with any health and attractiveness issues. You see, I know the brilliant and athletic Heather would be great at the sport of dog agility -- if only I could run with her around the obstacle course with any kind of grace and coordination.

Petaholism? It can't be a sickness if it makes you better. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. And besides, it's time to walk the dogs.

PETS ON THE WEB

Photographer Herman Krieger has put several of his photo essays on the Internet, and one of them, Mobile Veterinarian (www.efn.org/(tilde)hkrieger/vet.htm) is well worth a pet lover's time to visit. The images show the variety in a mobile veterinarian's day, with both office and stable visits, and animals large and small. It would be nice, though, if the site gave more information about each image -- nothing is offered except titles that range from the merely inane ("A Case of Bad Metabbylism" for a low-energy cat) to the downright appalling ("Asta la Vista Pluto" for a dog apparently about to be euthanized). Still, the pictures are handsome, and so's the veterinarian. House call, anyone?

PET TIP

While it might be hard to believe if you're in a place where snow's still on the ground, spring has officially arrived. Days that are warm -- but not yet hot -- lull many dog owners into thinking it's OK to leave their pets in the car while running errands. Be careful! Even a sunny day in the 70s or low 80s can turn a car into a death trap for your dog. Call it the "greenhouse effect" if it makes it easier to understand why this happens. All those windows on a car let heat come in and build to dangerous levels quickly -- and no, a cracked window isn't going to save your dog. Don't take a chance; leave your dog at home.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We need to be out of town in a few weeks, and I have recently acquired a bird that I have never had to worry about. Is it safe to leave him for about three days if we provide plenty of food and water? I don't have anyone to care for him while I am gone. -- Sandy, via the Internet

A: Let me put it this way: How would you like to be left with three days of food getting older by the minute and water that's developing a skin of slime, while trapped in a bathroom where the toilet doesn't flush?

In other words: No, it's not OK to leave a pet alone for three days. I know people do it, but they're taking big chances with their pets. Too many things can go wrong

If your bird is a finch or a canary, it can probably endure your being gone, but a parrot (and that category includes budgies and cockatiels) will keenly feel the social isolation. For all birds, food, water and cage papers need to be changed daily.

If you don't have a friend or neighbor to check on your pet at least once a day, call a pet-sitter.

Q: Can my cat eat a vegetarian diet? -- A.N, via the Internet

A: Not if you want him to stay healthy. Many people choose a diet devoid of animal-based proteins, and they want to extend their dietary choices to their cats. Fine for you, perhaps, but not for your cat, who is what the experts call an "obligate carnivore," meaning, cats must eat meat. (In contrast, dogs can and do survive on a meatless diet.)

No matter how opposed you may be to the idea of meat, your cat's body has a different opinion, and when your cat's health is at stake, you'd better listen.

Cats require more than a dozen nutrients including vitamins, fatty acids and amino acids that veterinary nutritionists call essential because they can't be manufactured in a cat's body and must be obtained from an outside source -- that is, from animal tissues. One of the most crucial of these is taurine, which if missing can cause serious health problems in your pet, including a deadly heart condition called dilated cardiomyopathy.

Veterinary cardiologist Dr. Paul D. Pion, my "Cats for Dummies" co-author and the discoverer of the link between taurine deficiency and heart disease, has a succinct way of describing the perfect diet for cats: Put a freshly killed rodent in the blender. Hit "frappe." Serve at room temperature.

In place of the rodent frappe, Pion recommends feeding foods from a variety of big-name manufacturers. He argues that these companies have proven their products through constant feeding trials. Look for the words "complete and balanced nutrition" on the label, as well as the statement that the product has been tested "for all life stages." The phrases come from the Association of American Feed Control Officials, a trade group that oversees industry standards.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

What should your dog be wearing around his neck? The choices used to be pretty basic: a buckled collar for everyday wear, and a slip or "choke" collar for outings or training. But things have changed in recent years. Basic canine neck gear remains the flat or rolled collar, in either leather or nylon, with the choice of a snap-together clasp added to the time-honored buckle. Every dog should have one of these, with license and ID tags attached.

But what about the slip collar? Some trainers are now violently opposed to them; they think such collars are cruel. Despite the controversy, the slip collar remains a useful training tool for many dogs, but only if put on and used correctly. If you're choking your dog, you're not using the collar correctly.

Often the problem is that the slip collar's not on right. With your dog sitting on your left, hold the collar in a "P" position, with the loop away from you and the "back" of the "P" on top. Slip it over your dog's head and it will be in perfect position. A session or two with a trainer will help you get it on right and help you learn how to use the collar in a correct way -- a fast tighten and a just as quick release.

The slip collar is probably the most common collar for training and control, but there are a few others you should know about. Again, working with a trainer will help you determine what will work best for your dog and how to use properly whatever collar you choose. Here's the rundown:

-- Partial slip collars are a hybrid between a flat collar and a slip collar. Designed to limit the "choking" action of a slip collar, they tighten, but only so much.

-- "Pinch" or "prong" collars are more popular than ever before, since they are an efficient way of dealing with well-muscled dogs like the Rottweiler. Like a partial slip, they can only be tightened so far, but unlike the partial, they have blunt metal prongs evenly spaced along the inside of the length of the collar. When tightened, these prongs press into the dog's neck.

These collars are controversial, in part because of their appearance. In the hands of a knowledgeable trainer, however, they can help with a powerful dog.

-- Head halters are another device with a public-relations problem, because they look like muzzles. They're not. They operate on the same principle that has worked for years with horses: Where the head goes, the body follows.

-- Harnesses are best left on little dogs, since they offer nothing in the way of control and give up a great deal in the way of leverage. Some small breeds, such as poodles, have a tendency toward "collapsing tracheas," where the rings of cartilage in the neck collapse temporarily when the dog is excited. These dogs are ideal candidates for harnesses, to relieve the pressure on their necks from pulling.

There are a couple of harnesses on the market that do offer some control, tightening around the dog's chest as he pulls. These are an option even for larger dogs. Your veterinarian may suggest a harness if your dog is of a breed known for neck or back problems, or if your dog has had a neck trauma or surgery.

Whatever collar you choose, remember that even the right training tool can be wrong if you aren't using it properly. If your dog is out of control, find a trainer to help you.

PETS ON THE WEB

Paris is proud: He's handsome, he's smart, and he's a poodle with an attitude and a Web page (www.havenhouse.com/poodle.htm) to prove it. He is also tired of being dissed. "You've gotten away with it for years," his Web site says. "It's just derogatory and it's mean ... in fact, we consider it a hate crime. So quit calling us 'froufrou' dogs! We are not a wimpy breed." Well, OK, Paris. The dog's page has a couple of other poodle links, most notably to the Poodle Museum. It's part of a poodle Web ring, too, so you can start with Paris and spend a whole day enjoying oodles of poodles.

PET TIP

When you consider the rain forests that many of them come from, it's no surprise that parrots need to get wet. It's good for their feathers and their mental health, as well. Use a spray bottle to mist your parrot every day, and give him a good drenching weekly with a sink or shower nozzle. Some parrot lovers share the shower with their pet, and that's not a bad idea, either, as long as your bird's not nippy. (Ouch!) To introduce your bird to misting, don't spray directly. Instead, point the spray bottle up so the mist comes down like rain. Once your bird is used to the sensation of being sprayed, he'll likely adore his daily dampening.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Our cat has suddenly started spraying urine on the furniture. We've squirted him, spanked him and reprimanded him, but it doesn't help. I don't understand why he doesn't urinate all the time in the litter box. My husband says if it doesn't stop, the cat goes. Help! -- P.F., via the Internet

A: The application of urine to mark territory is different from the release of urine to eliminate waste from the body. The strategies for addressing spraying are different from those that you use in getting a cat to use a litter box. The first step in solving any behavioral problem is to make sure it's not a medical problem, so have your veterinarian rule out any problem such as an infection.

Although both male and female cats spray, unneutered males are the biggest offenders, followed by unspayed females in season. You didn't mention if your cat is neutered, but if he isn't, he should be. Neutering takes care of the problem in 90 percent of the cases if done before sexual maturity is attained, at about 6 months.

For those cats who don't respond to neutering, environmental stresses -- such as a new person in the house or a neighbor's cat in the yard -- may be triggering the spraying. Anti-anxiety drugs may help (again, talk to your veterinarian), as can cleaning sprayed areas thoroughly and covering them with foil to discourage fresh marking. (Cats dislike anything involving foil, and the sound of urine hitting it really annoys them.) Don't punish your cat for spraying, even if you catch him in the act. Doing so makes him even more insecure and more likely to mark.

Q: I have purchased a sun conure, and she seems to be a nice, lovable bird. The only problem is that she screeches a lot of the time. The only time she doesn't is when we put her in the dark. Any advice? -- B.E., via the Internet

Q: We just recently got a sun conure. It's a very pretty bird, but very loud! We have discovered by covering him in the early morning while we're getting ready does get him to quiet down. However, we can't keep him covered all the time. Any suggestions? -- E.R., via the Internet

A: Your letters came in within an hour of each other, and for the sake of your neighbors, I hope you're not living next to each other.

I have bad news for you: The bright and beautiful sun conure is one noisy bird, and to a certain extent you're just going to have to live with the din. Covering the cage or turning out the lights at night will keep your pet quiet while you're trying to sleep. You should also work to not reward the bird for noise with either positive (picking up the bird or giving it a treat) or negative (punishing the bird) reinforcement. Beyond that, you'll just have to learn to appreciate the sun conure for its bright color and charming personality.

The sun and other conures of the Aratinga group -- the jenday, golden-capped, mitred, red-fronted, dusky and white-eyed, to name a few -- can be very loud, but other conures aren't quite so vocal. The species of the Pyrrhura group -- the maroon-belly, green-cheeked and black-cap -- don't have nearly the volume of their flashy relations.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

We get so wrapped up in our lives sometimes that we fall into the habit of merely taking care of our pets -- feeding them, keeping them healthy and cleaning up after them. And that's a shame, not just for the pets, but for ourselves as well. We're missing out on the best our animals have to offer us when we just go through the motions.

I was thinking about this the other day, in the middle of yet another book deadline, when I realized it had been a while since I had sung to my pets. The new addition, Patrick the Senegal parrot, didn't even have a song of his own. That's how bad things had gotten.

I knew these were problems that had to be immediately remedied.

You have to understand that I take my work seriously, even when it requires me to be seriously silly. What would make other pet lovers feel good about being silly when it comes to their pets? I wonder a moment, and then I know: reading that not only is someone else just as big a nut, but also that she makes a living at it. See? Don't you feel better?

The idea of pet songs didn't start with me. The late dog-trainer Job Michael Evans used to encourage people to use an advertising jingle, substituting their pet's name for the product. Take the old McDonald's jingle "You, You're the One," for example (if you're old enough to remember it, that is, and I most certainly am), and put in your pet's name everywhere you can: "Max, you're my Max/Max is the only reason/I like to walk/with Max in every season." That was a song I made up for my brother's Lab once, when he was visiting for a while. He loved it.

I take a less commercial approach with Andy, my aging Sheltie. His color is really called blue merle, but to the non-dog world he has always looked like a mottled gray. To the tune of "You Are My Sunshine," I croon: "You are my Andy/My lovely Andy/You make me happy/Because you're gray."

The big retriever, Benjamin, sweet as can be but not really the brightest, gets his song from the Monty Python "Spam" skit: "Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben/Wonderful Ben! Wonderful Ben!" And the song for the young retriever, Heather (the Princess), is taken from the American classic "I'm in Heaven": "Heather! I love Heather! And it's only fair that everyone should see/I am happy when my Heather is with me/I am happy when my Heather is with me."

I don't sing these in public -- well, not usually -- for fear someone will come after me with a net. Yes, I'm crazy, but not certifiably so, not yet anyway. But I don't care. The joy my pets get from these silly songs is wonderfully infectious, and soon even the gloomiest day is brighter for me.

Silly, I've admitted to being, but talented ... maybe not. Patrick's song continues to be a work in progress (meaning, no tune yet and the lyrics need a lot of work): "Patrick, Patrick, my Patrick/Like a hat trick, you are a something nice to see ..." I'll keep working on it.

And should I ever start to feel more embarrassed than silly, I think of a friend whose name and location I will not divulge, for he'd kill me. A brilliant and respected judge, he once wrote a song (melody and lyrics) to his cat on the back of a several cocktail napkins. He recites the whole enchilada to his beloved pet nearly every day. It begins (and I've changed the cat's name, too): "Daniel, Daniel has four feet/Daniel, Daniel, pretty neat!"

Suddenly, my Patrick song doesn't seem so bad.

PETS ON THE WEB

Irene Pepperberg is changing the way folks think about

parrots -- by learning the way parrots think. Pepperberg is on the staff of the University of Arizona, and for more than 20 years she has been studying the way parrots learn and use their knowledge. Her primary subject, an imperious African grey named Alex, knows how to identify objects, count and order around lab assistants. When he talks, he isn't just "parroting"; he's communicating. Check out the Communications With Parrots Web site (www.cages.org/research/pepperberg/index.html) for a fascinating look at Pepperberg's work, along with links to articles about Alex, Pepperberg's own articles and other online resources.

PET TIP

Field mice, squirrels, raccoons, deer ... The more we move into the places where animals live, the more animals seem to be living with us, in ways we'd rather they did not. I haven't met an animal lover yet who enjoys the death of wildlife "pests," whether it's the mouse in a kitchen cabinet or a skunk under the deck. You wish them gone, sure, but dead? Isn't there another way? Yes, and you'll find the answers in "Wild Neighbors: The Humane Approach to Living With Wildlife," by the staff of the Humane Society of the United States (Fulcrum Publishing, $16.95). The book offers humane solutions for dealing with dozens of animals, offering alternative to cruel control measures such as glue boards. You don't have to live in the country to use this fine book, either. City dwellers will find plenty on the bane of urban existence: pigeons and rats. It's an excellent resource and a good read, even if you don't have bats in your belfry.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Our puppy bucks like a wild horse when we put a leash on her. Any tips on getting her trained? We'd like to start walking her in the neighborhood. -- W.D., via the Internet

A: Your puppy can start wearing a buckled collar from the time you bring her home. I like lightweight nylon collars, inexpensive to replace when your puppy grows and in oodles of fun colors. Check the collar frequently to ensure the fit's not too snug. (And don't forget to attach a small ID tag.)

By the time your pup's 10 weeks old, you can introduce a lightweight leash for a few minutes at a time. Instead of using the leash to drag the puppy to go your way, go the puppy's way for a while, and then bend down and call her to you, sweetly. When she turns and heads in your direction, praise her and then get up and keep going, patting your leg and jollying her along. Introduce a command such as "Let's go" for her to start associating with the idea of heading in your direction.

A few minutes is enough. Try again later in the day, and maybe change direction once, saying "Let's go" and praising when the puppy follows.

The leash can be an important bonding tool, for both puppies and grown dogs. Once your puppy's comfortable with the feel of the leash, try tethering her to you for a few minutes at a time. With a 6-foot leash, slip the leash handle through your belt and then snap it to the puppy. And then go about your business, hands off the leash. Doing so teaches the puppy to keep an eye on you, which in turns reinforces the idea of you as leader.

The leash is a symbol of your leadership, and when you let your puppy chew on the leash, you're letting her chew on your authority. Considering the sharp nature of puppy teeth, you'll also be spending money for new leashes pretty regularly. Neither of these is desirable. So do not let your puppy chew on the leash. Yank it upward an inch or so out of her mouth while delivering a stern "no."

Q: The (hair) mats on our Persian are out of control. I can't get a comb through them, and he doesn't want to sit still for me to work on them. Help! -- M.P., via the Internet

A: The silky hair of the Persian cat mats easily and quickly, and it's easy to not notice a problem until you've really got a big problem. If your cat is nothing but mats, take him to a groomer and have him shaved down. Yes, it's unattractive, but it's by far kinder than working through a coat that's nothing but mats. And besides, it does grow back, and at a pace where you can teach your cat to enjoy grooming again, with tender pats and lots of treats.

If you're just talking about a couple of mats, though, try to work cornstarch or talcum powder into the mess and then grasp it at the base so you know where the mat ends and skin begins. Use a sharp pair of scissors to very carefully slice through the center of the mat a couple of times from the skin outward. You should then be able to tease the mat free -- gently! -- with your fingers and a steel comb. Don't push your cat, though. Work in short session and follow even an unproductive effort with praise, pets and treats.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600