We get so wrapped up in our lives sometimes that we fall into the habit of merely taking care of our pets -- feeding them, keeping them healthy and cleaning up after them. And that's a shame, not just for the pets, but for ourselves as well. We're missing out on the best our animals have to offer us when we just go through the motions.

I was thinking about this the other day, in the middle of yet another book deadline, when I realized it had been a while since I had sung to my pets. The new addition, Patrick the Senegal parrot, didn't even have a song of his own. That's how bad things had gotten.

I knew these were problems that had to be immediately remedied.

You have to understand that I take my work seriously, even when it requires me to be seriously silly. What would make other pet lovers feel good about being silly when it comes to their pets? I wonder a moment, and then I know: reading that not only is someone else just as big a nut, but also that she makes a living at it. See? Don't you feel better?

The idea of pet songs didn't start with me. The late dog-trainer Job Michael Evans used to encourage people to use an advertising jingle, substituting their pet's name for the product. Take the old McDonald's jingle "You, You're the One," for example (if you're old enough to remember it, that is, and I most certainly am), and put in your pet's name everywhere you can: "Max, you're my Max/Max is the only reason/I like to walk/with Max in every season." That was a song I made up for my brother's Lab once, when he was visiting for a while. He loved it.

I take a less commercial approach with Andy, my aging Sheltie. His color is really called blue merle, but to the non-dog world he has always looked like a mottled gray. To the tune of "You Are My Sunshine," I croon: "You are my Andy/My lovely Andy/You make me happy/Because you're gray."

The big retriever, Benjamin, sweet as can be but not really the brightest, gets his song from the Monty Python "Spam" skit: "Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben/Wonderful Ben! Wonderful Ben!" And the song for the young retriever, Heather (the Princess), is taken from the American classic "I'm in Heaven": "Heather! I love Heather! And it's only fair that everyone should see/I am happy when my Heather is with me/I am happy when my Heather is with me."

I don't sing these in public -- well, not usually -- for fear someone will come after me with a net. Yes, I'm crazy, but not certifiably so, not yet anyway. But I don't care. The joy my pets get from these silly songs is wonderfully infectious, and soon even the gloomiest day is brighter for me.

Silly, I've admitted to being, but talented ... maybe not. Patrick's song continues to be a work in progress (meaning, no tune yet and the lyrics need a lot of work): "Patrick, Patrick, my Patrick/Like a hat trick, you are a something nice to see ..." I'll keep working on it.

And should I ever start to feel more embarrassed than silly, I think of a friend whose name and location I will not divulge, for he'd kill me. A brilliant and respected judge, he once wrote a song (melody and lyrics) to his cat on the back of a several cocktail napkins. He recites the whole enchilada to his beloved pet nearly every day. It begins (and I've changed the cat's name, too): "Daniel, Daniel has four feet/Daniel, Daniel, pretty neat!"

Suddenly, my Patrick song doesn't seem so bad.

PETS ON THE WEB

Irene Pepperberg is changing the way folks think about

parrots -- by learning the way parrots think. Pepperberg is on the staff of the University of Arizona, and for more than 20 years she has been studying the way parrots learn and use their knowledge. Her primary subject, an imperious African grey named Alex, knows how to identify objects, count and order around lab assistants. When he talks, he isn't just "parroting"; he's communicating. Check out the Communications With Parrots Web site (www.cages.org/research/pepperberg/index.html) for a fascinating look at Pepperberg's work, along with links to articles about Alex, Pepperberg's own articles and other online resources.

PET TIP

Field mice, squirrels, raccoons, deer ... The more we move into the places where animals live, the more animals seem to be living with us, in ways we'd rather they did not. I haven't met an animal lover yet who enjoys the death of wildlife "pests," whether it's the mouse in a kitchen cabinet or a skunk under the deck. You wish them gone, sure, but dead? Isn't there another way? Yes, and you'll find the answers in "Wild Neighbors: The Humane Approach to Living With Wildlife," by the staff of the Humane Society of the United States (Fulcrum Publishing, $16.95). The book offers humane solutions for dealing with dozens of animals, offering alternative to cruel control measures such as glue boards. You don't have to live in the country to use this fine book, either. City dwellers will find plenty on the bane of urban existence: pigeons and rats. It's an excellent resource and a good read, even if you don't have bats in your belfry.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Our puppy bucks like a wild horse when we put a leash on her. Any tips on getting her trained? We'd like to start walking her in the neighborhood. -- W.D., via the Internet

A: Your puppy can start wearing a buckled collar from the time you bring her home. I like lightweight nylon collars, inexpensive to replace when your puppy grows and in oodles of fun colors. Check the collar frequently to ensure the fit's not too snug. (And don't forget to attach a small ID tag.)

By the time your pup's 10 weeks old, you can introduce a lightweight leash for a few minutes at a time. Instead of using the leash to drag the puppy to go your way, go the puppy's way for a while, and then bend down and call her to you, sweetly. When she turns and heads in your direction, praise her and then get up and keep going, patting your leg and jollying her along. Introduce a command such as "Let's go" for her to start associating with the idea of heading in your direction.

A few minutes is enough. Try again later in the day, and maybe change direction once, saying "Let's go" and praising when the puppy follows.

The leash can be an important bonding tool, for both puppies and grown dogs. Once your puppy's comfortable with the feel of the leash, try tethering her to you for a few minutes at a time. With a 6-foot leash, slip the leash handle through your belt and then snap it to the puppy. And then go about your business, hands off the leash. Doing so teaches the puppy to keep an eye on you, which in turns reinforces the idea of you as leader.

The leash is a symbol of your leadership, and when you let your puppy chew on the leash, you're letting her chew on your authority. Considering the sharp nature of puppy teeth, you'll also be spending money for new leashes pretty regularly. Neither of these is desirable. So do not let your puppy chew on the leash. Yank it upward an inch or so out of her mouth while delivering a stern "no."

Q: The (hair) mats on our Persian are out of control. I can't get a comb through them, and he doesn't want to sit still for me to work on them. Help! -- M.P., via the Internet

A: The silky hair of the Persian cat mats easily and quickly, and it's easy to not notice a problem until you've really got a big problem. If your cat is nothing but mats, take him to a groomer and have him shaved down. Yes, it's unattractive, but it's by far kinder than working through a coat that's nothing but mats. And besides, it does grow back, and at a pace where you can teach your cat to enjoy grooming again, with tender pats and lots of treats.

If you're just talking about a couple of mats, though, try to work cornstarch or talcum powder into the mess and then grasp it at the base so you know where the mat ends and skin begins. Use a sharp pair of scissors to very carefully slice through the center of the mat a couple of times from the skin outward. You should then be able to tease the mat free -- gently! -- with your fingers and a steel comb. Don't push your cat, though. Work in short session and follow even an unproductive effort with praise, pets and treats.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

We ask a lot of cats when we bring them into our homes. In fact, it says a lot about the love between our kind and their kind that most owner-pet situations work as well as they do, and how mutual affection and understanding can counteract a cat's own natural instincts.

We ask our cats to relieve themselves where we want them to instead of anywhere in their territory, as they would prefer. We ask them to scratch in one place instead of marking every surface, as would be natural for them. We ask them to ignore their ability to jump gracefully onto tables and countertops and to adjust their naturally nocturnal schedule to our daytime ones.

Most cats make the compromises. If yours hasn't, you need to figure out why before any effort to change your cat can begin.

The first step in resolving any behavioral problem is working with your veterinarian to make sure it's not a health problem. All the training techniques in the world won't fix a medical problem. You'll need your veterinarian's help for that.

Cats are so good at hiding illness, it's no surprise how often we misinterpret the signs they do give us. A cat with untreated diabetes, for example, must drink and urinate frequently, so much that he may not be interested in using the litter box. Another common problem: urinary-tract infections. Your cat may find urinating painful and come to associate the pain with his litter box. Are you really surprised he's going to stop using it? And what about biting? The cat who suddenly starts biting may be in pain, lashing out in self-defense. Whatever the problem, it must be treated for you to have a chance at correcting the behavior.

Remember, too, that even healthy cats can become unhinged by stress and may react by altering their behavior in an attempt to cope. Some cats mark territory when their home is "invaded" by a new pet or person. In a cat's mind, this behavior makes sense: Making the world smell like himself is comforting to him (though not to you). You need to relax your cat's stress in other ways, by limiting his territory to a single room, for example, or by putting him on calming medication your veterinarian can provide.

If it's not stress or illness, you need to look at your own role in any behavior problem. Are you asking something of your cat that's not possible for him to give? Your cat may not want to use the litter box if it's rarely cleaned, for example, and asking him to leave the couch alone is not fair if he has nothing else in the house to scratch. You need to provide him with some alternatives before you can hope for good behavior.

Do you provide your cat with enough exercise and entertainment? You've asked your cat to give up the whole world, and all you're offering in return is a few hours of your presence a day and maybe a catnip mouse? More toys! More play!

You must also consider that maybe your cat never knew the house rules to begin with. If all you've ever done in the way of training is to scream at or hit your cat, you're probably not teaching him anything except that you're someone to avoid. Physical correction has no place in changing a cat's behavior; cats just don't understand it. And using such correction just stresses them out, leading to even more problems.

Look at what's been going on in your life. How has your cat reacted to the situation, and how have you? Keep a journal of problems to help you spot and understand trends and to remove some of the emotion involved in living with a problem pet. Realizing that your cat's behavior isn't spiteful or capricious can make the problem easier for you to live with while you work on turning the situation around.

Before you give up on your pet, ask your veterinarian about a referral to a behaviorist. A consultation with an expert can provide you with a plan for fixing the problem -- and at a much more reasonable cost than replacing carpeting or a sofa.

PETS ON THE WEB

The Rottweiler has become one of the most popular breeds recently, and that's a shame. While the Rottie can be a good dog, it's not a good dog for everyone. As always when popularity strikes a breed, the dogs suffer. Poorly bred and undersocialized dogs end up with health and temperament problems, and too many end up in the shelters. If you are thinking about becoming a Rottweiler owner, slow down and do some research.

A great place to start is the Blackdogz Web site (www.blackdogz.com/buyarott.html), with its list of reasons not to bring a Rottie into your home. Serious food for thought!

The American Rottweiler Club's home page (www.amrottclub.org) also stresses caution, and has great information about the breed as well as a classic piece on dealing with dominant dogs by the late dog-trainer and author Job Michael Evans.

Finally, consider taking in a rescued Rottie. The "Rottweilers With Special Needs" Web site (www.geocities.com/Petsburgh/7568) is a great place to jump onto the Rottie Rescue Ring, a collection of Web sites designed to find new homes for second-chance dogs.

PET TIP

Ever wonder how the pros get those adorable pictures of dogs and cats nuzzling for ads and commercials? It's easy to get your pet to kiss your kid for a picture. The trick: a dab of butter or margarine in just the right spot. You can't see it, but your pet can smell it and won't be able to wait to lick it off your child's cheek. Another trick: To get your dog's attention for a picture, rattle keys or squish a squeaky toy. If you're looking for that super-alert look, throw the toy in the direction you want your dog to look. That's what dog-show photographers do.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I've been watching the occasional dog show on cable TV, and I have a dumb question. What's up with the judge groping the dogs? It seems sort of personal to me. -- S.W., via the Internet

A: Judges have to put their hands on the dogs to assess their structure and make sure all the pieces are where they ought to be. The alignment of the teeth, for example, differs from breed to breed -- the undershot jaw of a boxer doesn't go with a collie.

With longer-haired dogs, the grooming can be so skillful that a judge could be fooled into thinking a dog is put together better than he is. That's why in addition to a hands-on examination the judges have the handlers "gait," or move, the dogs around the ring.

As for the most personal of examinations, there's a reason for that, too. Dog shows are supposed to be about evaluating breeding stock, so the judge has to make sure both testicles are evident in male dogs. Anything less is a disqualification.

Q: After several months without a dog companion, I have decided to get another dog. I have researched several breeds and have decided that I could handle the border collie (not because of their current popularity, but because of their intelligence and activity level).

I have been pondering getting two border collies so they will have daytime company. Would you suggest getting two from the same litter or different litters? Both of them will be females, and I intend on having them spayed when they are old enough. Would one be a better choice? -- J.W., via the Internet

A: It's hard enough to raise and train one puppy well, and nearly impossible to handle two. The best choice would be to raise one puppy to adulthood, and then get the second puppy and raise her.

Since you are aware of the border collie's super intelligence, energy and intensity, I won't spend too much time warning you that even one is more than most people can handle. Do keep in mind, though, that they need training to keep their minds engaged and lots of aerobic exercise (daily is best). A bored border collie will find ways to keep herself amused, and you might not like the choices she makes.

You may well enjoy getting involved in a sport such as flyball or agility with your border collies. They excel at these sports, and the fast pace suits their type A personalities well.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

The first parrot I ever fell in love with was a yellow-naped Amazon belonging to a person I was interviewing. The bird, whose name I've long since forgotten, snagged my earring and snapped it in half with one bite of his powerful beak.

The owner was mortified. I just laughed, relieved that my earlobe was undamaged, even if my earring was in two pieces on the floor. And I learned a valuable lesson: If you're going to have a parrot, it helps to have a sense of humor. The birds certainly do, and they like it best when the joke's on you.

It seems as if I have egg on my face a lot lately, since the arrival of Patrick, the Senegal parrot who joined my family a couple months back.

I had to be dragged into owning a parrot, even though I've always been fond of them. With three dogs, I thought I'd reached my limit on the number of beings I wanted to feed, fuss over and clean up after. But I've got a soft spot for a hard-luck story, and Patrick had a good one.

He'd been brought in to my friend Carla's hospital to be put down, but she couldn't do it. He was too sweet despite the feather-picking that drove his owner crazy, and she asked her client if she could find him a new home instead. (Thank heavens for veterinarians like Carla!) She nudged me gently for three months before I would even meet the bird, knowing (as I myself suspected) that once I met the little green charmer I'd melt.

I never had a chance. The bird jumped on me at Carla's house and started to snuggle. After a day at my house I knew his "trial period" was over.

Not that there haven't been challenges. I'd had Patrick only a few days when my oldest dog, Andy, mistook him for an hors d'oeuvre and nearly did him in. Andy has never been talked to the way he was when he had the bird in his mouth. I shook him, screaming in panic, and the dog dropped him.

Patrick spent two days in bird intensive care at our veterinarian's, with me hand-feeding him kernels of corn (his favorite) to keep his strength up. The hospital staff didn't think twice about my visits -- they know me so well -- and Patrick was back home quickly.

Hysterical screaming isn't a dog-training technique I usually recommend, but I can't quibble with the result in this case. Andy hasn't looked at the parrot since. As for the two retrievers, they aren't interested in the least. Patrick and Heather, in fact, have a friendship developing: He flips my youngest dog fresh vegetables from his dish, and she loves him for it.

I can't imagine now how I ever survived without a parrot. His feathers look much better these days as Patrick sits on my desk while I write, now and then using his beak to pick out a letter on the keyboard. In the evenings, he sits on me as I read or watch TV, all of us together, the dogs, the bird and I. I've grown quite efficient at changing cage papers and wiping up the occasional mess, and learned that it's a waste to feed him lima beans, since Heather gets them all.

But most of all, Patrick has confirmed something I've always really known, deep in my heart. Size really doesn't matter. Patrick isn't even 6 ounces in weight -- Senegals are among the smaller parrots -- but he's got a heart as big as any pet I've ever had. Like many parrots, he has a sharpness that turns "birdbrain" into a compliment. He learns quickly, although "obedience" is a concept he clearly believes is better suited to dogs.

He makes me smile every day, in many ways. I'm sorry now I waited so long to bring a bird into my life, but then again, if I had years ago, I might not have Patrick now.

And that would surely have been a loss. The little second-chance bird is No. 1 in my book.

PETS ON THE WEB

I've never understood why some of the folks who keep pot-bellied pigs favor names such as Porkchop or Ham. To me, that's like naming the cat Coyote Bait, or naming a canary Friskies. Seems to me you'd give your pet an insecurity complex, but what do I know? Still, you can't doubt that one pig named Bacon has owners who are crazy about him, because they've put together a Web site that's part homage and great resource. Bacon's page (www.petpig.com) has the requisite pictures of the charming porker, but it also has lots of information on caring for these pets, plus product and book recommendations and links to rescue and sanctuary organizations. Best of all: a nifty feature that enables you to send a electronic pig postcard to an e-mail pal. Bacon's site is sizzling!

PET TIP

The plain wooden dowels that come standard with any birdcage are boring, both to look at and to perch on. Your bird will love it if you substitute natural branches, and it probably won't cost you a dime if you have access to trees to take trimmings from. Branches from most fruit trees (apple, almond, peach and all citrus) and such others as ash, elm, dogwood and manzanita make wonderful perches. They feel good under your pet's feet, and provide both entertainment and exercise when your bird chews them up. Scrub with detergent and rinse thoroughly before putting in your bird's cage, to make sure you're not exposing your pet to any pesticide residue. When they get chewed up, just replace.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: My cat bites me with no warning. I'll be petting him and he'll nail me, digging in with claws and teeth. He doesn't usually bite hard enough to break the skin, but it still hurts. Help! -- T.K., Portland, Ore.

A: Human stupidity (from the cat's point of view) in misreading or ignoring body language earns more than a few cat lovers a scratch or bite from time to time -- the result of missing a cat's "I've had enough" signs. The classic example is the cat who, while being petted, grabs the hand that pets him with teeth and claws, just the way you've described your cat doing.

In fact, these "out of the blue" attacks rarely are. Before the bite or clawing, a cat gives out subtle (subtle to us, anyway) signs of diminishing tolerance for physical attention. Primary among them: an increase in the stiffness and twitching of the tail.

The problem often starts with petting your cat's tummy, a vulnerable area for any animal. Your cat may even offer his belly out of love, but after you start to pet, he becomes increasingly uncomfortable with the attention. Miss the signs, and you're going to get nailed.

Watch your cat's body language. If he's tensing or his tail starts twitching, stop petting right away. Doing so will not only spare you claw and teeth marks, but stopping before your cat strikes also slowly builds up his trust in you and his tolerance for physical attention.

Q: We got a Rottweiler puppy for Christmas. How old should he be before we can start protection training? -- A.R., via the Internet

A: One of the reasons people get big dogs is for protection. Should you go the extra step and have yours trained to respond to a threat with aggression? For the overwhelming majority of pet owners, protection training is a stupendously bad idea. Your dog will likely be imposing enough in appearance alone to provide all the deterrent you need.

Once a dog learns to be aggressive, putting the genie back in the bottle is hard. The best you can do is work to keep your dog under tight control. That's what people do who compete in the sport of (BEGIN ITALS)schutzhund(END ITALS), and it's among the most demanding of dog sports, requiring constant practice and training by knowledgeable, experienced dog folks. If someone else trains your dog and you haven't the time or personality to keep up the training, you could have a real time bomb on your hand.

Want another opinion? Ask your insurance agent. A dog who's been trained to attack and does so may be seen in a vastly different light than one who bites "accidentally," as far as your carrier is concerned. You may even have difficulty finding homeowner's insurance if you own such a trained protection dog.

It's better to get a security system if you're worried about crime. You get discounts for those, not lawsuits.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600