The first parrot I ever fell in love with was a yellow-naped Amazon belonging to a person I was interviewing. The bird, whose name I've long since forgotten, snagged my earring and snapped it in half with one bite of his powerful beak.

The owner was mortified. I just laughed, relieved that my earlobe was undamaged, even if my earring was in two pieces on the floor. And I learned a valuable lesson: If you're going to have a parrot, it helps to have a sense of humor. The birds certainly do, and they like it best when the joke's on you.

It seems as if I have egg on my face a lot lately, since the arrival of Patrick, the Senegal parrot who joined my family a couple months back.

I had to be dragged into owning a parrot, even though I've always been fond of them. With three dogs, I thought I'd reached my limit on the number of beings I wanted to feed, fuss over and clean up after. But I've got a soft spot for a hard-luck story, and Patrick had a good one.

He'd been brought in to my friend Carla's hospital to be put down, but she couldn't do it. He was too sweet despite the feather-picking that drove his owner crazy, and she asked her client if she could find him a new home instead. (Thank heavens for veterinarians like Carla!) She nudged me gently for three months before I would even meet the bird, knowing (as I myself suspected) that once I met the little green charmer I'd melt.

I never had a chance. The bird jumped on me at Carla's house and started to snuggle. After a day at my house I knew his "trial period" was over.

Not that there haven't been challenges. I'd had Patrick only a few days when my oldest dog, Andy, mistook him for an hors d'oeuvre and nearly did him in. Andy has never been talked to the way he was when he had the bird in his mouth. I shook him, screaming in panic, and the dog dropped him.

Patrick spent two days in bird intensive care at our veterinarian's, with me hand-feeding him kernels of corn (his favorite) to keep his strength up. The hospital staff didn't think twice about my visits -- they know me so well -- and Patrick was back home quickly.

Hysterical screaming isn't a dog-training technique I usually recommend, but I can't quibble with the result in this case. Andy hasn't looked at the parrot since. As for the two retrievers, they aren't interested in the least. Patrick and Heather, in fact, have a friendship developing: He flips my youngest dog fresh vegetables from his dish, and she loves him for it.

I can't imagine now how I ever survived without a parrot. His feathers look much better these days as Patrick sits on my desk while I write, now and then using his beak to pick out a letter on the keyboard. In the evenings, he sits on me as I read or watch TV, all of us together, the dogs, the bird and I. I've grown quite efficient at changing cage papers and wiping up the occasional mess, and learned that it's a waste to feed him lima beans, since Heather gets them all.

But most of all, Patrick has confirmed something I've always really known, deep in my heart. Size really doesn't matter. Patrick isn't even 6 ounces in weight -- Senegals are among the smaller parrots -- but he's got a heart as big as any pet I've ever had. Like many parrots, he has a sharpness that turns "birdbrain" into a compliment. He learns quickly, although "obedience" is a concept he clearly believes is better suited to dogs.

He makes me smile every day, in many ways. I'm sorry now I waited so long to bring a bird into my life, but then again, if I had years ago, I might not have Patrick now.

And that would surely have been a loss. The little second-chance bird is No. 1 in my book.

PETS ON THE WEB

I've never understood why some of the folks who keep pot-bellied pigs favor names such as Porkchop or Ham. To me, that's like naming the cat Coyote Bait, or naming a canary Friskies. Seems to me you'd give your pet an insecurity complex, but what do I know? Still, you can't doubt that one pig named Bacon has owners who are crazy about him, because they've put together a Web site that's part homage and great resource. Bacon's page (www.petpig.com) has the requisite pictures of the charming porker, but it also has lots of information on caring for these pets, plus product and book recommendations and links to rescue and sanctuary organizations. Best of all: a nifty feature that enables you to send a electronic pig postcard to an e-mail pal. Bacon's site is sizzling!

PET TIP

The plain wooden dowels that come standard with any birdcage are boring, both to look at and to perch on. Your bird will love it if you substitute natural branches, and it probably won't cost you a dime if you have access to trees to take trimmings from. Branches from most fruit trees (apple, almond, peach and all citrus) and such others as ash, elm, dogwood and manzanita make wonderful perches. They feel good under your pet's feet, and provide both entertainment and exercise when your bird chews them up. Scrub with detergent and rinse thoroughly before putting in your bird's cage, to make sure you're not exposing your pet to any pesticide residue. When they get chewed up, just replace.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: My cat bites me with no warning. I'll be petting him and he'll nail me, digging in with claws and teeth. He doesn't usually bite hard enough to break the skin, but it still hurts. Help! -- T.K., Portland, Ore.

A: Human stupidity (from the cat's point of view) in misreading or ignoring body language earns more than a few cat lovers a scratch or bite from time to time -- the result of missing a cat's "I've had enough" signs. The classic example is the cat who, while being petted, grabs the hand that pets him with teeth and claws, just the way you've described your cat doing.

In fact, these "out of the blue" attacks rarely are. Before the bite or clawing, a cat gives out subtle (subtle to us, anyway) signs of diminishing tolerance for physical attention. Primary among them: an increase in the stiffness and twitching of the tail.

The problem often starts with petting your cat's tummy, a vulnerable area for any animal. Your cat may even offer his belly out of love, but after you start to pet, he becomes increasingly uncomfortable with the attention. Miss the signs, and you're going to get nailed.

Watch your cat's body language. If he's tensing or his tail starts twitching, stop petting right away. Doing so will not only spare you claw and teeth marks, but stopping before your cat strikes also slowly builds up his trust in you and his tolerance for physical attention.

Q: We got a Rottweiler puppy for Christmas. How old should he be before we can start protection training? -- A.R., via the Internet

A: One of the reasons people get big dogs is for protection. Should you go the extra step and have yours trained to respond to a threat with aggression? For the overwhelming majority of pet owners, protection training is a stupendously bad idea. Your dog will likely be imposing enough in appearance alone to provide all the deterrent you need.

Once a dog learns to be aggressive, putting the genie back in the bottle is hard. The best you can do is work to keep your dog under tight control. That's what people do who compete in the sport of (BEGIN ITALS)schutzhund(END ITALS), and it's among the most demanding of dog sports, requiring constant practice and training by knowledgeable, experienced dog folks. If someone else trains your dog and you haven't the time or personality to keep up the training, you could have a real time bomb on your hand.

Want another opinion? Ask your insurance agent. A dog who's been trained to attack and does so may be seen in a vastly different light than one who bites "accidentally," as far as your carrier is concerned. You may even have difficulty finding homeowner's insurance if you own such a trained protection dog.

It's better to get a security system if you're worried about crime. You get discounts for those, not lawsuits.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

The Northridge earthquake that shook Southern California a few years back proved to be the catalyst for at least one positive event: It got Blake Donovan to thinking.

She then lived five miles from the quake's epicenter. Afterward, she realized how vulnerable pets were in a disaster, and how completely reliant they were on humans for survival.

"Pets are helpless to prepare for disasters or emergencies," she said. "They cannot store supplies or care for themselves if injured. That's the job of each responsible pet owner."

But even the most responsible pet owners, she knew, would have a hard time knowing how to prepare for the worst, even if they realized how important it was. So she drew on her broad training as an EMT, a police officer and a

veterinary technician and came up with her dream business, ResQPet. The company makes high-quality disaster preparedness kits designed to help dog and cat owners get through the critical early days of any emergency, when veterinarian help may be unobtainable.

"A friend's Rottweiler died in that earthquake," she said, "cut by the shards of a broken sliding-glass door. He bled to death. She freaked, didn't know what to do." If her friend would've had first-aid supplies and instructions, Donovan reasoned, the dog might have survived.

Donovan's own three pets had to be dug out of the rubble of her home. They all survived, and two of them are still with her: Maggie, an Old English sheepdog who just turned 18, and Buddy, an Amazon parrot. (Ever the soft touch for an animal in need, she has recently adopted a starving stray shepherd, whom she named Kirby because the dog reminds her of a vacuum cleaner when she eats.)

After the earthquake, Donovan started putting together disaster kits for friends. She then expanded, marketing mostly through her Web site (www.ResQPet.com), and an aggressive self-driven marketing campaign that has already netted her a mention in Dog Fancy magazine. She hopes to make the company do well enough to support a shelter someday, but in the meantime, she'd be happy to save a few lives here and there.

The kits are impressive, with top-quality supplies and two easy-to-follow first-aid manuals (one for dogs, one for cats) written by Donovan herself, who teaches pet first aid classes. First-aid supplies make up the bulk of the package, along with such gear as emergency water packets and purification drops, a muzzle, a space blanket and light-sticks. Organized into either a backpack or a duffel bag, the kits are bright orange and emblazoned with the company name. Kits for other animals are in the works.

The contents were approved by a veterinarian, and one chain, the Veterinary Centers of America, went so far as to endorse the kits and sell them in their hospitals. ResQPet has gotten a couple of bigger nibbles, too, from a huge pet-supply chain and a major pet-food company.

For all that, business has been depressingly slow. The kits are expensive, ranging from $45 to $95 -- quite reasonable when you consider the contents, but still a big hit to many wallets. It may not be the price that dampens interest so much as the desire we all have to pretend we'll never need to cope with the sorts of things in the news all the time -- hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods and fires.

Donovan remains optimistic. "Most people realize emergency preparedness is a good idea," she says. "Few people have the time to do anything about it."

She's hoping many in that latter group will take the step toward preparedness and call ResQPet. (If you're among them, the toll-free number is (888) 738-7377.)

PETS ON THE WEB

Sure, that cage you got from the pet-supply store is fine, but have you ever thought your guinea pig or small rabbit might be happier in something bigger? The folks at the British Columbia SPCA do, and they've put some plans on their Web site to help. Building a Better Habitat (spca.bc.ca/habitat.htm) gives step-by-step instructions for assembling a large, inexpensive enclosure from commonly found materials: plastic sign board, wire mesh and masking tape. The pictures are clear and easy to follow for even the most fumble-fingered do-it-yourselfer. In a short time, your pet will have digs with room to roam.

PET TIP

If your veterinarian says your pet's too pudgy, don't forget to include treats when you're deciding what to cut down on. If you give treats to your dog several times a day, for example, you're adding practically another meal. Switch to smaller treats given less frequently; just because the box says "for small dogs" doesn't mean your overweight Labrador won't eat what's inside. Better still, substitute carrot sticks and pieces of rice cakes. Dogs snap them up every bit as eagerly as ready-made biscuits. As with people, eating right is only part of the puzzle when it comes to slimming down your pup. Start walking. It's good for you both!

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We've heard recently that shots cause cancer in cats, and yet our veterinarian still sends us reminders to bring our cat in for boosters. We're thinking we're better off skipping it. We don't want to lose our cat to this. -- S.C., Sacramento, Calif.

A: You shouldn't skip your pet's vaccinations, but you're right to be concerned. "Vaccine-associated feline sarcoma" or "feline vaccine-site sarcoma" is the name given to tumors that pop up at vaccination sites, and they have indeed claimed the lives of many cats. No one is quite sure why this problem occurs, but the risk is low compared to the dangers of not vaccinating your cat -- risks not only to your cat's health, but also, in the case of rabies, to your own.

Feline specialists now recommend changes in the way vaccinations are handled. At your pet's annual examination, discuss which vaccines your cat really needs with your veterinarian. Your cat may not need to be vaccinated against feline leukemia, for example, if he's kept indoors and doesn't interact with other cats.

Ask your veterinarian to use single-dose vaccines and to follow recent recommendations on where to inject your cat (different locations for different vaccines). Make sure your veterinarian notes the sites in your pet's records, as well as information on the vaccines, such as the name of the manufacturer and the serial number.

Once your cat is home, remember to watch carefully for any lumps that may develop. A small lump immediately after vaccination is normal, but call your veterinarian if the lump grows, or if it persists beyond three months.

Vaccinations still prevent many times more deaths than they cause. Keep the risks in perspective, and continue to press your veterinarian for the most recent information available on keeping your cat in good health.

Q: I am seeking advice about cats who chew or eat woolen items. My beautiful 3-year-old female sealpoint Siamese is now relegated to a life of semiconfinement due to this habit. I previously found one article regarding this issue; however, I misplaced it, so know I'm not alone with this problem. She destroys clothing and fabrics, and she can find them anywhere. Help! -- L.M., Sarver, Pa.

A: Wool-chewing is a problem once thought to be a result of early weaning, but now believed to be genetic in origin. The so-called "Oriental" breeds, including the Siamese, seem to be affected most. Increasing fiber in your pet's diet by adding a teaspoon of canned pumpkin daily may help, as may offering substitute items to chew on, such as a dog's sheepskin toy. Behaviorists also suggest active play sessions to burn off excess energy.

You might also ask your veterinarian about the use of medications to help with your pet's behavior problems. Aside from these suggestions, keeping everything picked up and put away is your best bet.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

If a stray turns up on your back porch and you can't find an owner, or if you inherit an older cat from a relative or friend who has passed on, or if you end up with an extra cat for any other reason, you want to find the best home you can. And that can be difficult.

Adult cats can be very hard to place. They have the lowest rates of adoption for all animals at shelters. If you're patient and persistent, however, you may find a home. Here are some tips to follow:

-- Do everything you can to make the animal more adoptable. The pet has a better chance for adoption if her vaccinations are current, she uses her litter box reliably, and she's altered.

-- Ask a price. People show more respect for something they've paid for, and a price tag dampens the interest of profiteers, such as those who collect "free to good home" pets for sale to research labs or to people who train dogs for fighting. A good rule of thumb: Charge an amount sufficient to cover the cost of the spaying/neutering and vaccinations.

-- Don't lie about the pet's problems or why she's being placed. Although finding a new home for a pet with problems takes longer, you can usually still do so. But the person who gets such a pet without warning is likely to bring her back, take her to a shelter or give her away -- maybe to a horrible situation.

-- Spread the news. Make up fliers, and take out an ad in your newspaper and on the Internet. Post the fliers everywhere you can: bulletin boards at work, pet-supply stores and your veterinarian's office. Give some to your friends and family to post where they work, too. Talk up the cat (at least briefly) with everyone you know. Even people who don't like cats (or don't want one) may know someone who is looking for a pet. The more exposure you can get, the better. If a thousand people hear or read about the animal, you probably will get no interest from 999, but you need only one person to provide a good home for the cat. And that's the one you need to reach.

-- Ask lots of questions and verify that the answers are true. Don't forget to ask prospective adopters whether they've had pets before and what happened to them. Make sure you're dealing with people who realize that owning a pet is a long-term commitment. The person who has had a lot of pets who disappeared, died young or were given away is probably not your best choice. My favorite question: Who's your veterinarian? Someone who cannot at least name a vet or a veterinary hospital may have pets who don't go there very often.

-- Set a reasonable time limit for yourself to place the animal, and do everything you can during that time. If you cannot find a home, do not turn out the cat. Do not take the animal "to the country" or otherwise turn him loose to fend for himself. People who live in the country can't care for all the pets who are dumped there. The kinder folks take them to a shelter; others shoot them, poison them or drown them. Even in the "wilderness," the lives of feral cats are full of suffering, shortened by disease or accident. Don't put a cat through this horror: Take her to a shelter if you cannot keep her or find her a new home.

PETS ON THE WEB

Want a great way to get both you and your dog in shape and have a marvelous time doing it? Take up agility. Based loosely on English show-jumping, the sport won't stop growing, with more enthusiastic dog-handler teams in training than ever before. Dogs of all sizes and shapes, purebred and not, enjoy heading over and through the various obstacles, and they benefit from the time spent with their owners. One of the best spots on the Web to learn about agility is the Dog Patch agility page (www.dogpatch.org/agility). Clean and well-organized, the site offers articles, discussion groups and graphics of various courses, as well as links to other sites on agility and agility-trained dogs.

PET TIP

The "s" hooks given out with some pet ID tags are a royal pain. The hooks are hard to fasten correctly, even using pliers, and they always seem to be falling off the collar, giving up the tag or catching on something. A better choice for fastening tags is the split-ring. Many tag makers offer you a choice of fasteners, but if that's not the case, ditch the "s" hooks and head to the hardware store. Split-rings are available cheaply there, in the key section. (I like split-rings made for keys better, in fact, because they're generally sturdier than the ones that come with tags.) You don't have to break your nails to get tags (or keys) on these rings. Use a staple remover to pull them wide enough to slide on the tags.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We adopted a dog recently from the local shelter, and she's a sweetie. We do have one problem, though, and we need help because it's so disgusting. She eats out of the litter box. We've yelled at her and smacked her, but she just gets more crafty. What can we do to stop this? Yuck! --D.C., via the Internet

A: You're not alone in your disgust. Litter-munching dogs are a top-10 reader complaint, year in and year out. As incredible as the thought seems to humans, many dogs do indeed consider cat feces to be every bit as wonderful as dog biscuits -- they're drawn to the undigested protein.

Faced with constant supply and ready access, no dog can resist for long, which is why efforts to train a dog to leave the litter box alone are rarely successful. The better plan is to restrict access. You can do this in a several ways, and it doesn't hurt to experiment. What deters one dog may not stop another.

Changing the litter box location is probably the easiest and least expensive solution. It may be possible to find a spot too high for your dog to cruise. Barriers are another strategy. You can rig the door to the room containing the litter box so that it stays open wide enough for the cat but not for the dog. Another possibility is to install a cat-sized door in the bottom of the door to the litter-box room if your dog is medium-sized or larger. For small dogs, try a baby gate -- a cat can jump it, but a small dog can't. You can also try a covered litter box.

Whatever you do, make sure your cat is comfortable with the change, or chances are you'll end up with another equally disturbing problem: a cat who avoids the litter box.

Q: Our blue-and-gold macaw loves to fly. Since he's never out of the house, we don't see the problem in letting him fly. It's cruel to deny birds flight, and we hope more bird lovers will realize that. Will you spread the word? -- F.H., via the Internet

A: I'm afraid I can't. Even inside the house the dangers are too many for a flighted bird.

Flying is one of those things that adds to the incredible appeal of birds, their mystique and their wonder. We envy them, for only recently in human experience have we been able to fly. And let's be honest, blasting place-to-place inside a jet-propelled metal tube hardly has the same panache.

Not all pet birds should have their flight feathers kept short, just those who come out of their cages to interact with their owners. Finches and canaries are happier if not handled or allowed out, and their feathers should be left alone so they can fly in their cages for exercise.

But when it comes to most parrots, our homes are not safe for flighted birds. Any avian veterinarian can tell you about birds who have slammed into windows, or have landed in sizzling frying pans or boiling pots of water. Some have even flown into an open toilet and drowned.

Another problem with a flighted bird: Losing your pet is just one open window or door away.

Your bird can indeed have a happy, healthy life without ever taking to the air. Your bird's veterinarian or a reputable bird shop will be happy to show you how to trim wings, or do it for you if you'd rather not try it on your own.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600