No matter how much you and your cat hate the idea, at some point in your pet's life, you're going to come home from the veterinary office with medication, and you're going to need to give that medication to your cat.

Is it easy? Not really. Is it necessary? You bet. Seeing your veterinarian and then not following through on care instructions is worse than a waste of money: It may be dangerous for your pet.

Most times you're dealing with a pill. You can try the Sneak Method, attempting to disguise a pill in a bit of something yummy in hopes that your pet doesn't notice the pill inside. Watch your cat carefully for the "spit-out" before considering the procedure a success -- it may not be. In fact, the Sneak Method works a lot better for dogs, who tend to bolt down their food, than for cats, who eat carefully, considering every mouthful. Sneaking a pill past your cat can be difficult.

The No-Nonsense Method is harder, but once you've mastered it, you will know for sure where the pill went. Take a firm but gentle grip on your cat's head from above, pry open his jaw with the index finger of your other hand, and press the pill far enough back on the tongue to trigger swallowing. Although veterinarians can make pilling a cat look like an easy, one-person job, you're likely to find the task easier at first if you have someone else hold your cat while you pill him.

Some people have good luck with "pill guns," plastic devices designed to accept a pill on the tip, press it to the back of your cat's tongue and release with a push on the plunger. Look for these in pet-supply stores or catalogs, or in the back of pet magazines.

The prize for the most ingenious method of pilling a cat has to go to the reader who long ago shared his Screen Door Method. He lifts his cat onto the screen, where the animal naturally reaches out and digs in claws. Once "hung" from the door by his own claws, the cat is in no position to fight, and pilling is fast and easy. It's sure to shorten the life of your screens, but if it works for you and your cat, so what?

For liquid medication, be sure your veterinarian sends you home with some large syringes without their needles. These are marked on the sides to make measuring easy, and they're easier at getting liquid medicine in the right place (an eyedropper can also work). Raise your cat's muzzle with a firm but gentle hold on the top of the head and lift the lip on one side. Ease the tip to the back of the throat and then release the liquid in a slow, steady motion. Your cat will swallow naturally.

For ear medication, put a large towel across your lap and draw up your pet, relaxing the animal with stroking and with soothing words. After your cat's relaxed, apply the ear drops, massaging the base of the ear gently. For eye medication, gently apply a line of medication from the tube across the length of the eye, being careful not to touch the surface of the eye. Try to hit drops squarely in the center. Close the lid for a couple of seconds to let the medication distribute evenly.

As with anything your pet would rather avoid, be patient, gentle and firm when giving medication -- and follow with praise. If you're having trouble medicating your pet, have your veterinarian walk you through it, or discuss alternatives. Whatever you do, don't leave those medications on the shelf. They're meant to be used!

A sad note: Longtime readers may remember my brother Pete's yellow Labrador, Max. The dog was the "first child" of Pete and my sister-in-law, Sally, and he was followed shortly by two-legged kids Kate and Steven. Max grew from a goofy, gangly puppy into the best "kid dog" I've ever known, quick with a slurpy kiss on a tear-stained face and tolerant of ear-pulls, tail-jerks and pony rides. A victim of cancer at the too-young age of 9, he's now teaching is family important lessons about the circle of life. The day after he died, my 7-year-old niece said she had felt him on her bed, protecting her as she slept. It didn't surprise me in the least: He was just that kind of dog.

PETS ON THE WEB

African Grey parrots are known to be among the best talkers around. But even for his species, Buba must be exceptional, with more than 200 phrases in his repertoire, including a handful in Hawaiian. The 11-year-old parrot lives there, no big surprise considering his vocabulary, where his day job involves shredding paper and erasing computer disks for Coconut Info Software. His Web site (www.dublclick.com/coconutinfo/buba.html) lists every word, phrase and sound effect Buba knows, with a few of them available as downloadable sound files, such as Buba asking "What's your ZIP code?" Don't miss the recording of the call from a "Tonight Show" staffer -- the bird has a career in show business ahead of him.

PET TIP

Stainless steel or high-impact plastic makes the best food and water dishes for pets -- easy to clean, unbreakable and resistant to scratches. They last forever, too. I'm still putting kibble in a stainless steel dish I bought 20 years ago. Forget cheap plastic. Some pets are allergic to the material, and the wear-and-tear a pet dishes out on these flimsies will leave scratches and tooth marks that will be hard to clean, and will provide a breeding ground for bacteria. Whether you choose high-impact plastic or stainless steel, remember to keep pet dishes clean. Wash them every day with a swipe of warm soapy water, and once a week, put them all through the dishwasher for a thorough, sterilizing clean.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: My daughter got us a puppy for Christmas. He is supposed to be a golden and something else, and about 3 months old. I am a little concerned because he is losing his baby teeth. Is that normal? We did call the vet, and he said it was OK. What do you think? We had a golden retriever for 14 years, and I don't ever remember her losing her teeth like that. -- T.F., via the Internet

A: Your veterinarian is right. It's perfectly normal for your puppy to be losing his baby teeth. Puppies have 28 of those sharp little puppy teeth, and they're usually replaced by 42 permanent ones by the age of 4 months.

It's not unusual to overlook the loss of puppy teeth. Sometimes they're swallowed; others may land in the grass or somewhere else they'll be hard to spot. Sometimes, though, they're stubborn about leaving, hanging on even when their replacement has erupted. If you observe a double row of teeth, call your veterinarian -- the baby teeth have worn out their welcome and may need to be surgically removed.

Teething can be irritating or even painful for a pup. Be sure to provide lots of chew toys to help your pup through the process. Another aid is a damp washcloth, tied into a knot, frozen and then given to the pup to chew. The cold feels good on those gums!

Q: I thought catnip was supposed to make cats playful and silly. When our cat comes into contact with catnip, he gets so relaxed he rolls onto his back and just chills out. It's as if he goes into a daze: He rubs his face all over the toy, rolls on his back and zones out. Any signs of playfulness he was showing just disappear after he comes into contact with catnip.

It's the funniest thing to see, but I am wondering why it seems to have such a calming effect on him. Any idea? -- K.D., via the Internet.

A: Every cat reacts in his own way to catnip. Some will be giddy, some dazed, and a large percentage won't react at all. (Kittens under the age of 3 months are not affected.)

The ability to appreciate the herb is genetically programmed, with slightly more cats in the catnip fan club than not. Catnip -- (BEGIN ITALS)nepeta cataria(END ITALS) -- contains a substance called "nepetalactone" in its leaves and stems, and this is what sets cats off. Rolling, rubbing, leaping, purring and general uninhibited happiness are all normal for a few minutes after exposure. The "high" is harmless and nonaddictive.

Catnip is fairly easy to grow, as is another plant cats love, valerian. Be sure to protect young plants, or your cats will pull them up by the roots. Clip pieces from established plants for your cat, stuffing them into toys, rubbing them on cat trees, or just offering them plain.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Flowers! Vegetables! Herbs and ground covers! No, you haven't turned to the gardening column by mistake. This is indeed about pets, and about how you don't have to give up your dreams of a beautiful yard if you share your life with a dog or two.

It's not always easy, though. Some of the things dogs like to do seem to run counter to any goal of keeping plants healthy. Sometimes, though, all it really takes is good planning. And now is a good time to make those plans, when the mailbox is full of seed catalogs and a summer landscape is still months away.

One of the best ways to have both a dog and a beautiful yard to is divide it -- and make the profusely planted part off-limits to your dog unless you're with him. In your dog's part of the yard, use a hardy blend of grass seed meant for taking a beating, and protect young trees and shrubs with a circle of wire fencing. You may even consider giving up on the lawn in part of the dog area, substituting decomposed granite or pea gravel.

Dogs are happiest when they're indoor pets, involved in family life, so it's best if even the "dog yard" portion of your property is for exercise and relief only. No matter how much time your dog spends in his yard, however, be sure fresh water is always available, as is protection from the elements, be it hot or cold.

If you can't divide the yard, you still have some options. The first step is to work with the patterns in your yard. Look at the trails your pet has worn, and plan to keep those open. Thorny plants won't stop a determined dog from smashing through.

When planning what to plant, rely on raised beds and planters to protect your most fragile and precious flowers. In borders, put the plants that can take being stepped on in front.

And what about diggers? You may be able to stop this habit, or at least control it enough to live with. Lack of exercise, boredom and loneliness contribute to a lot of dog problems, from barking to digging to general destructiveness. Bring your dog into your life, give him chew toys to keep him busy when you're gone, and remember the exercise -- three high-energy sessions a week will help.

Once you've taken care of his needs, discourage digging by putting his stools into the holes before you fill them in. Remember, though, that some dogs are unstoppable when it comes to digging, especially terriers, whose very name comes from the word "terra," for the earth they were developed to dig in to kill rodents. With the determined dog, you may have to provide a "dig zone" in an unobtrusive corner and limit his excavations by eliminating his unescorted time in the rest of the yard.

Gardens are wonderful, but keep a sense of perspective about it all. If, in spite of all your planning, you come home to find that new shrub uprooted, consider that you can always get another shrub, but your dog's love for you cannot be replaced.

PET TIP

How old is your cat in "people years"? A general rule for determining whether a cat is middle-aged or old is that one year in a cat's life equals four in a human's. In truth, the situation is not that neat, and if you think about it, you can easily see why. Under a "1 equals 4" rule, a 1-year-old cat would be the equivalent in terms of mental and physical maturity to a human 4-year-old, and that's clearly off.

A better equation is to count the first year of a cat's life as being comparable to the time a human reaches the early stages of adulthood, the age of 15 or so. Like a human adolescent, a 1-year-old cat looks fairly grown-up and is physically capable of becoming a parent, but is lacking in emotional maturity. The second year of a cat's life picks up some of that maturity and takes a cat to the first stages of full adulthood in humans; a 2-year-old cat is roughly equivalent to a person in his mid-20s.

From there, the "4 equals 1" rule works pretty well. A cat of 3 is still young, comparable to a person of 29. A 6-year-old cat, similar to a 41-year-old person, is in the throes of middle age, while a 12-year-old cat, similar to a 65-year-old person, has earned the right to slow down a little. A cat who lives to be 20 is the feline equivalent of nearly 100 years in terms of human life span.

PETS ON THE WEB

If nothing else, the Bird Hotline: World Wide Bird Lost and Found Web site (www.birdhotline.com) should convince you of the importance of keeping your bird's wings trimmed. Although some of the birds listed have been stolen, most have simply been lost -- through an opened door, a cracked window or such. The hotline's pages are filled with heartbroken owners who realized in a fraction of a second how easily a flighted bird can escape.

The Bird Hotline is an attempt to use the Internet to link bird lovers worldwide into a "Bird Patrol" looking for lost pets, and they've signed up nearly a thousand lovers. The site lists birds who have been lost or stolen, and birds who have been found. The best part, of course, is the collection of stories with happy endings, those birds who have been reunited with their owners.

The site is also keen on raising awareness that found birds are usually missed. The creators point out that many people start looking for an owner when the found pet is a dog or cat, but assume the "finder's keepers" rule applies to a bird. Reading how badly these birds are missed by their owners will change that assumption in a hurry.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Please explain the procedure of spaying a female dog. Do vets use general anesthesia? How long is the recovery? I have to know what will happen exactly to my dog before the operation. Thanks for your help. -- M.S., via the Internet

A: "Spaying" is the everyday term for the surgical sterilization of a female dog or cat. The clinical term is "ovariohysterectomy."

Spaying must be done by a veterinarian, and it requires general anesthesia. The procedure has traditionally been performed starting at the age of 5 or 6 months. But in recent years, the early spaying or neutering of puppies and kittens as young as 8 weeks has been widely approved by veterinary and humane groups.

Spaying involves the removal of the female's entire reproduction system. The uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries are taken out through an incision in the abdomen. Your veterinarian may require you to return to have your dog's stitches removed in about 10 days' time, or he may use stitches that are absorbed into the body. Recovery is fast, taking just a few days, during which you should limit your dog's activities -- no jumping or boisterous play.

Although technically not minor surgery, spaying is among the most common veterinary procedures and carries very little risk for your dog. Your veterinarian should discuss your role before and after surgery to ensure that any complications that may develop are dealt with promptly.

Q: My mom and dad say I can get a hamster for my birthday. How can I pick out a healthy one? I'm 8, and it's my first pet. -- K.J., Sacramento, Calif.

A: Congratulations! Your first pet is a reason to celebrate. I know you'll take good care of your new friend. Have your parents take you to a reputable pet shop, where it's obvious the animals are clean and well-cared-for.

A healthy hamster will have a lush, glossy coat, bright eyes and a clear nose. Any sign of messiness around the eyes or ears or under the tail is a sign the animal may not be well.

Having a pet is a big responsibility. Keep the cage clean, and make sure your pet always has fresh food and water. Be careful to secure your pet's cage carefully, for hamsters are talented escape artists.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

If you can't stand the thought of going outside in the snow, rain, fog or just plain bitter cold, you can keep your dog from driving you crazy by exercising his mind. Any kind of training will do, but trick-training is especially appropriate. Better still: Get your kids to train your dog, and you'll get them out of your hair, too.

As promised last week, here's what you need to know to teach two basic tricks, with some nifty variations:

-- Shake hands. Have your dog sit, say "shake hands," and tap the back of his front leg or tickle it a little, whichever seems to work best. When he picks up his paw, take it in your hand and praise. Build on the skill through repetition until he's lifting his paw reliably, and then higher and higher. Some dogs get to the point of practically giving a high five.

A second step to this trick is to teach him the "other paw" command. Always ask for the same paw for "shake hands," and then when he's reliable at it, teach "other paw" in the same way, but this time tap on the back of the other front leg. He'll get the idea quickly, and soon he will be giving you one paw at the command "shake" and the opposite one for the command "other paw."

"Shake hands" is probably the trick most commonly taught -- a good percentage of the dogs in any shelter already know it -- but it also has a practical application. You can teach your dog to stop on a mat just inside the front door and wait for you to wipe off his muddy paws before he comes all the way into the house. Ask him to give you his paw and then wipe it, then the other paw and wipe it. Teach him to offer his back paws in the same way, using the command "back paw" for one, and "other back" for the last paw. As he lifts them, wipe with a towel.

-- Jump. To teach this one, you can use a long dowel, a broomstick, a children's plastic hoop or a specially made stick for dogs to jump, available from those pet suppliers who carry equipment for obedience trainers.

With your dog on-leash, hold the stick or hoop an inch or two off the ground and say "over" and then draw the dog over by his leash and praise. Once the command is understood, work at gradually raising the height of the jump.

Some variations: Once your dog knows this trick, you can teach him to jump over your arm or over another dog on down-stay or even over one of your kids. You can also teach your dog to jump into something, be it your car or your arms -- the latter not recommend if your dog's a 90-pounder.

Don't get carried away, even if your dog really enjoys jumping. Some dogs have been injured by jumping too high. A good rule of thumb is to never ask your dog to jump much more than his height at the shoulders (more for small, agile breeds, like Shelties, less for ones who aren't really built for jumping, like basset hounds).

Trick-training is a great way to spend a winter day while strengthening the bond between you and your pet. Let your imagination guide you, and you'll both have a blast.

PETS ON THE WEB

If you've been to a cat show recently, you may have noticed that what most people think of when they think "Siamese" bears little resemblance to the willowy cat winning the ribbons today. The more robust "apple-headed" Siamese has its fans still, along with a group dedicated to preserving the breed as it was. The Traditional Cat Association (www.covesoft.com/tca) also promotes more than a dozen other "traditional" or "classic" cat varieties, which are all pictured on its Web site. The site also has membership information, information on finding a breeder, and an online cat show and newsletter. Strike a blow for tradition and visit.

PET TIP

One of the best bargains to be had is the American Kennel Club's full-color wall poster of all the breeds it registers, out in a new edition and free for the cost of postage and handling: $5 for each poster, $2 for each additional poster in the same order. The poster includes new illustrations, including one of the AKC's recent addition, the popular Jack Russell terrier. Descriptions of each breed along with their country or region of origin are under each picture. For more information about the AKC's "Guide to Purebred Dogs" poster, call 919-233-9767, or send e-mail to orderdesk(at)akc.org.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I am concerned about the emotional well-being of my new boyfriend's dog. He is "deathly allergic" to his dog, an older black Lab, so he keeps him in the back yard. The dog has a dog house, food and water, but little else. He rarely ever takes his dog out of the yard, and when he does it is for a brief period or a trip to the vet. As he is so violently allergic to this animal, he rarely touches him.

Can this possibly be a healthy thing to do to an animal? I believe dogs need love and affection, and I don't understand why people like this have animals. To top it off, he boasted to me one day about his authoritative training methods, telling me that when his dog refuses to come when called, he kicks him! Can you give me any advice on how to educate him to the needs and care of his dog? -- B.R., via the Internet

A: My gut reaction is to tell you to grab the dog and dump the boyfriend, but let me give you a few other suggestions first. People have a tendency to repeat their mistakes when it comes to pets, and that means if he is not properly educated, the man will be neglecting his dogs (and kicking them when they disobey) for years to come. Education is always worth a try.

No dog can be happy in the back yard with nothing more than food, water and shelter. Dogs are social animals, as we are, and they are at their best -- and their happiest -- when in the company of others.

Probably the best thing this man can do is find a new home for the dog and vow never to get another. If that's not acceptable, he should spend some time with the dog every day -- playing fetch would be good, as it's low on contact and high on exercise and interaction. If the dog is kept bathed and your boyfriend washes his hands after touching him, the allergy problem should be manageable. (Seeing an allergist would also help.) Another alternative: Hire a neighborhood kid to walk or play with the dog.

As for his training methods, not only are they cruel, but they also don't make any sense. Why would anyone come to someone if he knew he would be kicked or otherwise punished?

My advice would be to push your new boyfriend either to place the dog in a new home or work to improve the animal's life. Also, have him read up on some dog training. You'll find lots of great books at the nearest library or bookstore, and not a single one will suggest kicking as a training technique.

And if your powers of persuasion get you nowhere with this man, I go back to my original advice: Run, and take the dog with you.

Q: We are interested in purchasing a parrot. We have looked at an African grey, but it talked too much and screamed for attention.

Currently we are considering an Amazon. She is 6 years old and allows everyone in our family to pet her. She talks, but very quietly. Will she learn more words? Our experience has been limited to cockatiels. -- P.B., via the Internet

A: If you're interested in a talker, the two best species are indeed the African greys and the Amazons, especially the yellow-naped and double-yellow-headed varieties of the latter. Both species learn quickly and can be equally challenging and delightful to live with, although the Amazons are generally considered a little more clownish.

The Amazon you're considering may indeed be a winner, as long as her quiet demeanor is not a result of illness. Birds are amazingly good at hiding signs of illness. It's a survival mechanism for wild birds, who would attract the attention of a predator if they seemed sick. People who do not know this often do not realize their pet is sick until their bird is nearly dead -- and at that point, there may be nothing the veterinarian can do to help. Before you buy any bird (and certainly before you bring one into your home and risk the health of your cockatiels, if you still have them), have your new pet checked out by an avian veterinarian.

As for talking, she may well learn new words and phrases if you work with her, repeating them clearly and frequently. There's no guarantee, however, that any parrot will talk.

If you're looking for a pet who's not as rambunctious and noisy as either the African greys or the Amazons, consider the smaller African Poicephalus parrots -- the Senegal, Meyer's and Jardine's -- as well as any of the Pionus varieties. While these birds are not known for talking, they are considered fairly mellow, sweet-natured and easy to keep.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600