If you can't stand the thought of going outside in the snow, rain, fog or just plain bitter cold, you can keep your dog from driving you crazy by exercising his mind. Any kind of training will do, but trick-training is especially appropriate. Better still: Get your kids to train your dog, and you'll get them out of your hair, too.

As promised last week, here's what you need to know to teach two basic tricks, with some nifty variations:

-- Shake hands. Have your dog sit, say "shake hands," and tap the back of his front leg or tickle it a little, whichever seems to work best. When he picks up his paw, take it in your hand and praise. Build on the skill through repetition until he's lifting his paw reliably, and then higher and higher. Some dogs get to the point of practically giving a high five.

A second step to this trick is to teach him the "other paw" command. Always ask for the same paw for "shake hands," and then when he's reliable at it, teach "other paw" in the same way, but this time tap on the back of the other front leg. He'll get the idea quickly, and soon he will be giving you one paw at the command "shake" and the opposite one for the command "other paw."

"Shake hands" is probably the trick most commonly taught -- a good percentage of the dogs in any shelter already know it -- but it also has a practical application. You can teach your dog to stop on a mat just inside the front door and wait for you to wipe off his muddy paws before he comes all the way into the house. Ask him to give you his paw and then wipe it, then the other paw and wipe it. Teach him to offer his back paws in the same way, using the command "back paw" for one, and "other back" for the last paw. As he lifts them, wipe with a towel.

-- Jump. To teach this one, you can use a long dowel, a broomstick, a children's plastic hoop or a specially made stick for dogs to jump, available from those pet suppliers who carry equipment for obedience trainers.

With your dog on-leash, hold the stick or hoop an inch or two off the ground and say "over" and then draw the dog over by his leash and praise. Once the command is understood, work at gradually raising the height of the jump.

Some variations: Once your dog knows this trick, you can teach him to jump over your arm or over another dog on down-stay or even over one of your kids. You can also teach your dog to jump into something, be it your car or your arms -- the latter not recommend if your dog's a 90-pounder.

Don't get carried away, even if your dog really enjoys jumping. Some dogs have been injured by jumping too high. A good rule of thumb is to never ask your dog to jump much more than his height at the shoulders (more for small, agile breeds, like Shelties, less for ones who aren't really built for jumping, like basset hounds).

Trick-training is a great way to spend a winter day while strengthening the bond between you and your pet. Let your imagination guide you, and you'll both have a blast.

PETS ON THE WEB

If you've been to a cat show recently, you may have noticed that what most people think of when they think "Siamese" bears little resemblance to the willowy cat winning the ribbons today. The more robust "apple-headed" Siamese has its fans still, along with a group dedicated to preserving the breed as it was. The Traditional Cat Association (www.covesoft.com/tca) also promotes more than a dozen other "traditional" or "classic" cat varieties, which are all pictured on its Web site. The site also has membership information, information on finding a breeder, and an online cat show and newsletter. Strike a blow for tradition and visit.

PET TIP

One of the best bargains to be had is the American Kennel Club's full-color wall poster of all the breeds it registers, out in a new edition and free for the cost of postage and handling: $5 for each poster, $2 for each additional poster in the same order. The poster includes new illustrations, including one of the AKC's recent addition, the popular Jack Russell terrier. Descriptions of each breed along with their country or region of origin are under each picture. For more information about the AKC's "Guide to Purebred Dogs" poster, call 919-233-9767, or send e-mail to orderdesk(at)akc.org.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I am concerned about the emotional well-being of my new boyfriend's dog. He is "deathly allergic" to his dog, an older black Lab, so he keeps him in the back yard. The dog has a dog house, food and water, but little else. He rarely ever takes his dog out of the yard, and when he does it is for a brief period or a trip to the vet. As he is so violently allergic to this animal, he rarely touches him.

Can this possibly be a healthy thing to do to an animal? I believe dogs need love and affection, and I don't understand why people like this have animals. To top it off, he boasted to me one day about his authoritative training methods, telling me that when his dog refuses to come when called, he kicks him! Can you give me any advice on how to educate him to the needs and care of his dog? -- B.R., via the Internet

A: My gut reaction is to tell you to grab the dog and dump the boyfriend, but let me give you a few other suggestions first. People have a tendency to repeat their mistakes when it comes to pets, and that means if he is not properly educated, the man will be neglecting his dogs (and kicking them when they disobey) for years to come. Education is always worth a try.

No dog can be happy in the back yard with nothing more than food, water and shelter. Dogs are social animals, as we are, and they are at their best -- and their happiest -- when in the company of others.

Probably the best thing this man can do is find a new home for the dog and vow never to get another. If that's not acceptable, he should spend some time with the dog every day -- playing fetch would be good, as it's low on contact and high on exercise and interaction. If the dog is kept bathed and your boyfriend washes his hands after touching him, the allergy problem should be manageable. (Seeing an allergist would also help.) Another alternative: Hire a neighborhood kid to walk or play with the dog.

As for his training methods, not only are they cruel, but they also don't make any sense. Why would anyone come to someone if he knew he would be kicked or otherwise punished?

My advice would be to push your new boyfriend either to place the dog in a new home or work to improve the animal's life. Also, have him read up on some dog training. You'll find lots of great books at the nearest library or bookstore, and not a single one will suggest kicking as a training technique.

And if your powers of persuasion get you nowhere with this man, I go back to my original advice: Run, and take the dog with you.

Q: We are interested in purchasing a parrot. We have looked at an African grey, but it talked too much and screamed for attention.

Currently we are considering an Amazon. She is 6 years old and allows everyone in our family to pet her. She talks, but very quietly. Will she learn more words? Our experience has been limited to cockatiels. -- P.B., via the Internet

A: If you're interested in a talker, the two best species are indeed the African greys and the Amazons, especially the yellow-naped and double-yellow-headed varieties of the latter. Both species learn quickly and can be equally challenging and delightful to live with, although the Amazons are generally considered a little more clownish.

The Amazon you're considering may indeed be a winner, as long as her quiet demeanor is not a result of illness. Birds are amazingly good at hiding signs of illness. It's a survival mechanism for wild birds, who would attract the attention of a predator if they seemed sick. People who do not know this often do not realize their pet is sick until their bird is nearly dead -- and at that point, there may be nothing the veterinarian can do to help. Before you buy any bird (and certainly before you bring one into your home and risk the health of your cockatiels, if you still have them), have your new pet checked out by an avian veterinarian.

As for talking, she may well learn new words and phrases if you work with her, repeating them clearly and frequently. There's no guarantee, however, that any parrot will talk.

If you're looking for a pet who's not as rambunctious and noisy as either the African greys or the Amazons, consider the smaller African Poicephalus parrots -- the Senegal, Meyer's and Jardine's -- as well as any of the Pionus varieties. While these birds are not known for talking, they are considered fairly mellow, sweet-natured and easy to keep.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Looking for a way to keep your dog occupied on those days when it's just too cold outside to play? Consider exercising his mind.

One of the biggest shames in all of dogdom is how few things most people teach their dogs. What many people don't realize is that training is a way of communicating with your dog, of sharing a common language. The more words you both know the meaning of, the more you are sharing your lives.

How many words can your dog know? A lot more than you can imagine, I'm guessing. Consider that dogs who help wheelchair users are routinely trained to perform dozens of different tasks -- more than a hundred in some cases. And if you argue that your dog is not as smart as a service dog, I'll argue back that even if he's only half as smart, he can learn a couple of dozen more things than he knows now.

Besides, tricks are great fun for any dog of any age. While canine whiz kids such as poodles and border collies will pick up things quickly, any dog will catch on eventually, if you're patient, consistent and encouraging. You can teach tricks one at a time or a couple at once, as long as you've time to practice each one a couple of times a day.

Some dogs are better at some tricks than others. A small, agile terrier may find jumping through hoops easier than a bulldog would. And a retriever is probably more willing to hold things in his mouth than is a Pekinese. A basset hound can probably roll over but may find begging a little hard, being a little top-heavy. So think about your dog's form and aptitudes before you start. You may notice something special your dog does that would be entertaining if you can get him to do it on command. You can. Give it a name, use that word when he's most likely to do his thing, and praise him for "obeying." He'll make the connection soon enough.

I did that with Benjamin, the big retriever, who makes a sound that's halfway between a bark and a howl when it's time for his breakfast. I called it "woo-woo" and started saying "woo-woo" just when I could see his mouth preparing to make this sound. When he did, high praise. Now he "woo-woos" on command.

You can dress up tricks a little, too, to make them seem more than they are. I was once at an event where a prize was given for the best dog trick. The winner had a Rottweiler who liked to jump in the air after soap bubbles, which wasn't that big a deal, really, except for the fact that the owner turned it into a trick that had the crowd roaring with laughter. The woman put a ballerina skirt around the dog's middle, with matching pink leg warmers on her back legs and a tiara on her head. She then put some "Swan Lake" in her portable stereo and starting blowing bubbles. The dog's leaps and turns were a million times funnier when so choreographed, and the pair won easily.

Start thinking about your dog's special talents. Next week I'll offer tips on how to teach your pet some basic tricks.

PETS ON THE WEB

Every holiday season folks worry if their poinsettias are poisonous. They're not, even though I got a handful of urgent missives from various animal groups warning people about the plants. Old myths are hard to fight, I guess. Still, your pets can indeed get in trouble with plants commonly found in many homes and yards. Cornell University offers online help, with its Poisonous Plants Web site (www.ansci.cornell.edu/plants/plants.html). The site offers links to related lists, including one put together by the University of Illinois (www.library.uiuc.edu/vex/toxic/toxic.htm) that identifies plants by their common names, in case you're not too well-versed on all that genus and species mumbo jumbo.

PET TIP

With the nation in the grip of bitter cold, don't hesitate to help your dog out with a sweater. Yes, it may look silly to some, but for older dogs, those with little body fat (such as greyhounds and whippets) or sparse fur coats, the extra warmth a sweater provides is a kindness. You don't need to make a fashion statement with a leather jacket or a fur-lined collar. A couple of easy-to-wash acrylic knits from your local pet-supply store will do the trick, and fairly economically. Your pet will thank you.

Q: A friend sent me your column about "fur mice." Since you said your Hoover was outmatched, I just wanted to share some information and a cute story. I am a puppy raiser for Canine Companions for Independence (they provide assistance dogs for people with disabilities), and I am on an e-mail list with raisers from roughly 20 different organizations. Dog hair, as you can imagine, is a constant battle with all of us, most of whom have more than one dog, plus assorted cats and other animals.

One of the people posted a humorous note about dust puppies -- similar to fur mice, but I think they're more prolific. Her vacuum of choice was the Fantom Fury, and she asked if anyone else had used this wonder vac. Many had and quite a number have since purchased one.

I suggested to the Fantom people that they use a service dog in training in a future infomercial because not only was it good to promote a program that helps people, but also that our goldens (and Labs) could give those Dirt Devil pups a run for cuteness. They came to my house to film back in the first part of December. They will edit all they shot down to about 90 seconds, but they did cover the program and quite a bit about the dogs. It will air in February. If you're up at 3 a.m. with nothing to do one night, look for it.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that if your Hoover isn't handling your dog hair, you really should try the Fantom. I haven't found anything better to handle the hair on the floor. And the furniture. And in the air. -- K.D., via the Internet

A: Great story! As it happens, I'm often up at 3 a.m., and I'll be looking for that infomercial. It'll be a nice change of pace from the dog-training one and that one about the self-cleaning litter box.

As for the Hoover, I cannot complain. It's a wheezy, gaspy disaster now, but it has been eagerly sucking up drifts of pet fur for more than a decade. I guess it has earned its retirement.

I guess we wouldn't be animal lovers if we didn't find humor in pet hair. My favorite hair story is about a dog club holding its annual award banquet, and on each table was a baggie with some dog hair in it and a note attached that read: "We know you wouldn't know how to have a meal without dog hair, so we've provided some."

As a person who has picked pet fur off most everything from sweaters to butter cubes for nearly three decades, I can relate. I can also relate to something else I heard: "True pet people would send a meal back if they saw a human hair in it, but pick off the pet ones and eat without a second thought."

I'm always delighted to get pet-care tips from readers. Thanks for writing.

Q: I picked out a kitten at the end of summer, a calico, so I knew it was a girl. Guess what? It's not! I thought that wasn't possible. -- C.O., via the Internet

A: Extremely rare, but not impossible. About one in every 3,000 calico or tortoiseshell cats is a male.

The genetic code for a calico or tortoiseshell pattern is found only on the female, or X chromosome. For a cat to be a calico or tortie, it must have two X chromosomes, and that means in the vast majority of cases it's going to be female.

When the calico pattern exists in a male, it's because the cat has something relatively uncommon: three sex chromosomes -- two X, one Y. If both of those X chromosomes carry the calico gene, you're looking at a male calico. The three chromosomes make what is called a Klinefelter male, and they're usually unable to reproduce.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

The Cat Fanciers' Association put out a special media release to vilify her. Newspapers, magazines and television news shows are hot on her trail. And thousands of people have called, written or e-mailed her from all over the world to tell her -- often in crude and threatening language -- what a terrible person she is.

It's the hottest pet story around, and Vickie Ives Speir of Marshall, Texas, is at the center of it, because of her interest in breeding deformed cats.

She calls them "Twisty Kats," and the animals take the controversial short-legged munchkin cat one step further, with legs that are not only short but bent, with paws the breeder described as "vestigial" -- and in some cases missing. The mutation arises when two of her polydactyl -- a fancy name for "extra-toed" -- cats are bred. The animals that result can't walk normally, and bounce instead like kangaroos, using their front elbows for balance as they move.

Is a handful of cats in Texas worth the furor? Emotions aside -- and these cats surely do trigger emotions -- it's hard to say.

It can be argued that all this anger and energy aligned against the breeder could be better put into the bigger problems that cats face in our society, primarily homelessness and overpopulation. Like the munchkin breed before it, the "Twisties" will always be rare, and the total impact of the breeds will always be small compared to the larger numbers of needy cats. What's even a few dozen problem cats compared to the tens of thousands killed as "surplus" every year? Why don't we care more about them? Pedigreed cats in general make up a tiny fraction of the general cat population, less than 10 percent by some estimates. If Speir launched her breed full-force, few of us would ever find ourselves in the company of a Twisty, and few Twisties would ever end up in shelters.

Maybe the furor is a bit overblown, and certainly those who have threatened Speir have no business doing so. But what she is doing is most certainly wrong.

As animal lovers -- and Speir claims that she is one -- we have a pact with those animals in our care. It involves proper stewardship, making sure their physical and emotional needs are met, and they are protected from harm. But it also involves respect, and the arrogant act of meddling with an animal's functionality shows very little of that.

A cat's very nature is about movement, graceful and smooth, on four good legs. It's one of the things we love about them, one of the things that makes them what they are. Running, jumping, stalking: These are natural to a cat, and anyone who would deny them these behaviors is no friend to cats, and no animal lover.

Speir is welcome to care for her deformed and crippled cats for the length of their natural lives, and by all appearances she cares for them well. But when they are gone, let us hope they are the end of a line, and that we will have heard the last of one woman's twisted idea. Let us hope, too, that some of the people who are so vocal against her will be equally pro-cat when it comes to the larger issues.

PETS ON THE WEB

One cat-lover has put together a thorough site covering the Twisty Kats controversy (www.delmars.com/kitcats/twisted.htm), complete with links to newspaper articles, letters, humane groups and other related Web sites. The site also contains the breeder's own original -- and now defunct -- Twisty Kat Web site, with pictures of the animals. The Veterinary Information Network's weekly online pet-care poll (www.vin.com/poll/pub.html) will be on the topic of these cats the week of Jan. 10.

PET TIP

If you're dealing with a house-soiling problem, be sure you clean up any accidents promptly and thoroughly; otherwise, the smell will attract repeat business. Use products designed for dealing with pet messes. These liquid products contain enzymes that break down waste and neutralize odor. For fresh urine, one part white vinegar to four parts tap water is another effective smell neutralizer. Whatever you do, don't use ammonia-based cleaning products on pet messes. They smell like urine to pets, since ammonia is one of the by-products of decomposing urine. Instead of making the area smell clean, ammonia makes a mess site even more attractive to your problem pet.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We're expecting a new baby in a couple of months, and we're worried about our cat, Pumpkin. She's been our spoiled child, and we want to make sure she accepts the baby. I understand this won't be easy. My mother-in-law is even saying that cats are dangerous around babies and that we should find a new home for Pumpkin. We don't want to do that, but obviously we don't want to put our child in danger. -- N.P., via the Internet

A: You don't need to find a new home for your pet, no matter what well-meaning relatives and friends may say to the contrary. Cats do not maliciously smother or suck the breath out of babies, as the myths hold. Still, to best protect your baby, you do need to be aware of the facts and exercise a little caution.

It's fairly easy to see how this myth started -- with a cat's natural curiosity to investigate a new addition to the family coupled with a crib death (a mysterious tragedy about which even today relatively little is known). It wouldn't take much for someone who had seen a cat in the crib -- perhaps sniffing at a baby's milk-scented breath -- and later found a dead child to try to find an explanation for the loss by linking the two events together, even though we now know such a link is not based on fact.

Still, common sense dictates that no animal be left unattended with a small child. The Humane Society of the United States, which keeps statistics on injuries inflicted by animals on people, knows of no documented case of a cat smothering an infant by resting on the child's face. Other experts, however, point out that such a scenario, although unlikely, is feasible and suggest taking precautions, which makes perfect sense. You don't want your baby to be the first to be harmed in such a way.

Some parents have gone so far as to install a screen door on the nursery to keep pets out, a simple and relatively inexpensive solution that should soothe your mother-in-law.

As for Pumpkin herself, she should be fine. Cats thrive on familiarity and routine, so work at getting the household settled down as soon as you can. Put aside a little time for her every day, for petting, grooming and interactive play, such as with a string toy. Some cats stop using the litter box when under stress, and if that happens, set her up in a small bedroom -- with litter box, food and water, and toys -- to retrain her and let her chill out for a few days. Then gradually expand her territory.

Q: We want to breed our Lhasa-poo, because she is so wonderful and we want another one just like her. We're having a hard time finding a stud, and hope you can point us to someone who has this breed. -- D.F., via the Internet

A: A Lhasa-poo isn't a breed; it's a mix, a combination of a poodle and a Lhasa apso. The distinction is important, because chances are even if you did find another Lhasa apso-poodle mix to breed with, you may not end up with puppies like either mom or dad.

A breed of animal is one that has had its "type" set through selective breeding, in which people home in on the traits they do want and select out the traits they don't, until what's left is an animal that will breed true when mated with another of its type. If you breed a poodle to a poodle, for example, you won't be expecting short noses and straight hair. But if you breed Lhasa-poos to each other, you could get any combination involved in each of the two breeds they came from.

The popular crosses -- cockapoo, peke-a-poo, terr-a-poo and so on -- are wonderful pets, with a wide variety of body types and personalities. They are each individuals and should be celebrated as such. Spay your girl for her health and to fight pet overpopulation, and if you want another dog, keep an eye out at your local shelter. Mixes of all kinds -- and purebreds, too -- end up there every day.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies" and "Cats for Dummies," and is the editorial director of the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Write2Gina(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600