From the goldfish won at a school carnival and gone just as fast, to the hamster who escaped from his cage and was never seen again, to the cat or dog who has been in the family for years and is now taking a final trip to the veterinarian's, the death of a pet can be a wrenching experience for both child and parent.

Rachel Biale calls it something else: an opportunity.

"Even though the death of a pet can be a sad and even scary experience for a child, it is also a chance for parents to set a model for grief and death," she says. "For most children, this will be the first time they deal with death, and it's an opportunity to teach them how to deal with painful experiences."

Biale is a Berkeley, Calif., family therapist and the author of "My Pet Died" (Tricycle Press, $7.95), a wonderful little book designed to help both children and parents through what can be a difficult time.

The paperback has pages of activities to help children recognize and work through their emotions, as well as a thoughtful tear-out guide for parents. On one page, Biale suggests that the child draw or paste a picture of the pet, then a couple pages later, finish the sentence: "Thinking about (my pet's name) dying makes me feel ..." Later in the book, children are asked to name people to talk to if they're feeling sad, and allows them to consider the possibility of another pet in the future.

Perhaps a little disconcerting to many parents, Biale even asks children to consider what happened to their pet's body. Such openness is important with children, the therapist says, even though it may run counter to parents' own experience as a child. If you don't give children the answers to their questions, the answers they make up may be even worse than the truth.

"Children are very literal, which is why it's important to ask and find out what the child understands," says Biale. "Ask the 4-year-old, 'What do think "dead" means?' For some, they think it's a game: 'Bang, bang. You're dead.'

"It's most important to be truthful and factual. Let the child know that it's OK to talk about anything, and it's OK to have the feelings they do."

Some other suggestions for parents:

-- Don't sugar-coat the facts. "Parents need to remember not to use euphemisms," said Biale. "Telling a child a pet was 'put to sleep' may leave the child afraid to fall asleep himself."

-- Follow the child's lead. Children may even benefit from seeing the body, said Biale. "Some children would say 'yes' because they're curious; some would say 'no.' There's no rule. Ask the child, and prepare by explaining the pet won't meow or won't lick."

-- Use more than words. "Children are not as focused on words as we are. They may want to play the death scene over and over, which may be disturbing to adults, but it's their way of working it through. Children also can express their feelings through painting and drawing, and cutting and pasting."

-- Share you own grief, but don't burden your child. "It's a fine line. It's very important for a child to see your feelings," said Biale. "But if parents are feeling overwhelmed, they need someone else besides their child for support."

-- Don't rush your child. "Grief can be a long process. We're so pushed to be the 'one-minute gourmet' or the 'one-minute parent,' but it doesn't work that way."

While it isn't going to be easy, Biale says that when handled well, the death of a pet can leave children well-prepared for the losses we all face in our lives.

A pet's death, in other words, can be a final gift of love and learning to a child.

CYBERLINKS: ChinNet brags on its home page (http://www.chin.buffnet.net) of being "The chinniest site on earth," and it's easy to believe they have the competition smoked. The site is dedicated to bettering the lives of pet chinchillas everywhere, with information on care and genetics, and links to a couple dozen other chinchilla pages as well as the chinchilla mailing list.

Gina Spadafori, the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," is affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Giori(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Dr. Roger Gfeller has seen a lot of hot dogs on the Fourth of July. He has also set a lot of broken bones and stitched up a great many nasty lacerations.

The veterinarian has been working the urgent-care beat for more than 20 years, the last five as a board-certified expert in one of the newest veterinary specialities, emergency and critical care. Gfeller, a consultant to the Veterinary Information Network online service and chief of staff at Veterinary Emergency Service Inc., of Fresno, Calif., is one of only 52 veterinarians nationwide who've earned the special accreditation.

Independence Day is one of the busiest of the year for emergency-care veterinarians such as Gfeller, who says that many of the problems he'll see on the holiday could have been prevented.

To protect your pets over the long holiday weekend, Gfeller offers some precautions:

-- FIREWORKS. "Bring your pets indoors and turn on the stereo," he said. "Give them some white noise, something to distract them from the booming outside.

"'Denning' is another good idea, in a flight kennel or crate. Give them the comfort of their den, if that's what they're used to."

Gfeller says the decision to tranquilize a pet should be considered carefully by its owner and discussed with a veterinarian. "Tranquilizing a pet is not something I'd prefer," he said, "but we all recognize that some animals need it."

People should consider their past holiday experiences, he said, as well as a pet's everyday temperament when considering if a tranquilizer is appropriate.

-- HEAT STROKE. "Shade, lots of shade, and water, lots of water," said Gfeller, who added quickly that it is really better to bring pets inside on the hottest days of summer.

Knowing the signs of heat stress, he said, can save your pet's life. "Hot dogs pant, of course, but with a dog in trouble the panting is very aggressive. Cats will pant, too, but it's unusual.

"Look for the pet with lips pulled back, foamy at the corner of their mouths. These are animals who are working hard to move air."

Hot pets need to be cooled down, but not too severely. The optimum is to soak them in 90-degree water, and to use a fan to cool them off. Water from a hose is usually fine, said Gfeller, but not if you draw from a deep well where the water is ice-cold. Forget ice, too, he said. Think cool, not cold. And call a veterinarian.

"If it's too cold, you turn the outer layer of flesh into a layer of insulation," he said, thereby keeping the cool from getting to where the real problem is, the vital organs."

-- ACCIDENTS. The Fourth of July brings two kinds of fireworks-related accidents, both caused by fear. Some dogs jump through windows and sliding-glass doors and are cut up in the process, while others run away in a panic and are hit crossing streets.

Keeping pets secure inside is the key to preventing accidents, said the veterinarian, who also stressed that even lost dogs who aren't injured often end up at his hospital because no one knows who their owners are.

Gfeller is an advocate of embedded microchips, and says that many emergency clinics "scan" lost pets for the ID device in hopes of a happy reunion.

"I really think people need to spend the day with their pets. Stay home, or take your dog with you," he said. "It's like having a child. If your child was with you, got scared and started crying from the fireworks, you'd go home.

"I'm probably showing my bias, but I think our pets deserve the same kind of care."

CYBERLINKS: When the weather gets hot, think of water. Cool, relaxing water. If you can't pop for a swimming pool, how about an aquarium? Sure, you can't swim in it, but studies have shown it's plenty relaxing. Just watch the fish. If you don't know where to begin, check out the Aquaria Page O' Links (http://www.kkreate.com/aqlinks.htm), with connections to every imaginable fishy spot on the Internet. If setting up an aquarium and caring for fish is too much effort, visit WWW Cameraquarium (www.sccs.swarthmore.edu/(tilde)jim/fish.html), a page linked to various "fishcams," constantly refreshed pictures of a variety of fish tanks.

Gina Spadafori, the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," is affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Giori(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Behind every picture there's a story, and this is certainly true of the snapshot of my dogs perched on a windswept bluff over the Pacific Ocean, their long coats swirling around them, their eyes intently focused on the endless expanse of silvery blue before them.

I had been trying to get that picture for 15 minutes, working with two dogs who were tired of sitting, tired of being asked to look alert and in the same direction. Behind me, my brother Joe, a good sport if there ever was one, rattled keys and promised treats, to no avail. Toni was getting ready to flop down, and Andy had that look that meant the word "stay" would shortly no longer apply to him.

And then it happened. Their heads swung round, in unison. Their ears came up. Their eyes focused just over my right shoulder. I snapped the picture, gratefully, and turned to see what Joe had finally done to capture their attention so perfectly.

He'd fallen off the cliff.

Although it was a very small drop and he wasn't hurt at all, he was through as a photographer's assistant. He had decided in the instant he tumbled over the edge that if I were going to make a fool of myself in public taking pictures of animals, I was going to do it alone.

Which is pretty much exactly what has happened, right down to the foolish part. With a thankfully idiot-proof camera and no sense of decorum, I've taken hundreds of pictures of my pets and other animals, and come up with a few very good ones.

Taking lots of pictures, as it turns out, is one of the keys to successful photography. Keeping your camera ready to use is another. Always have film in your camera and put it where you can grab it quickly. Great pet pictures, like great kid pictures, pop up when you don't expect them.

For more formal photo sessions, here are a few tips:

-- Use the right attention-getter. Dogs will react to jingled or thrown keys, or squeaky toys or tennis balls, but try the same thing with a cat, and the only thing you'll get a picture of is the tip of a tail as your pet departs in disgust. Talk sweetly to your cat for a better response, or tease with a favorite toy. Food is another winner, and it works with both dogs and cats.

-- Get an assistant. A child is a wonderful helper as well as subject. Let your helper work on getting your pet's attention so you can frame the shot to your liking. A tip: If you want your pet to kiss your child for a photo, do as the pros do: Put a little butter on your child's cheek, and let the pet smooch it off.

-- Head outdoors. Natural light -- early morning is best -- avoids the dreaded red-eye shot, where the flash makes your beautiful pet come out as a monster. Taking pictures outside also gives your new pet a more natural, healthy look. If you must take pictures inside, avoid the reflection by not pointing the flash straight at the animal, or by having the animal look off to the side, at your assistant.

-- Come in close. If you want a good picture, you're going to have to go where your pet is. Shoot at just below your pet's eye level and zoom in as closely as you can for good detail.

-- Watch your backgrounds. Think neutral -- a plain wall, not a cluttered cabinet. Think contrast -- light for a dark pet, dark for a light one.

Keep your sessions short -- kids and pets get bored quickly -- and don't forget to keep them fun, with lots of praise all around. With a little knowledge and a lot of practice, you, too, can take pet photos you'll be proud of.

CYBERLINKS: Pet pictures are everywhere on the Internet, by the millions. Bring up a browser such as Alta Vista (http:www.altavista.com), put in "cat," "dog," "hamster," etc., plus the word "picture" and you'll be browsing for hours. Or visit "The Amazing Cat Picture Page" (http://www.islandnet.com/(tilde)jensal/cats.html). You'll find some wonderful pictures there that will inspire you to get your camera out.

Gina Spadafori, the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," is affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or e-mail to Giori(at)aol.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600