Dear Ilana and Jess: I’m applying to college this fall and, in the process, I’m writing a lot of professional emails. How do I make them sound, well, professional? – Sophia

Dear Sophia: Your instincts are correct. Before you enter the professional world (and even college), you have to learn to communicate effectively via email. This is standard practice in college and beyond.

To begin, double check everything. The stakes can be quite high for written communication, even when it comes to quick emails. Whenever you put pen to paper - or fingers to keys - and add your name, you’re representing yourself. Make sure that you’ve spelled everything correctly and that you’re using the correct grammar. Make sure you’re sending the email to the right people; your phone and computer can play some dirty tricks with your contacts.

Make sure you understand the difference between copy (CC) and blind copy (BCC.) When you include someone in the copy (CC) line, it means that all of the recipients can see that they’ve been added to the email. When you add someone to the blind copy (BCC) line, it means the recipients can’t see that they’ve been added to the email.

Format emails correctly; always start with a greeting appropriate to the recipient. You want an email to be visually pleasing and easy to read, so put spaces between the greeting, body paragraphs, and sign off. It’s always a good idea to have an email signature that includes your phone number (if you’re comfortable with this).

Have an objective. Before you even sit down to write an email, you should know why you’re writing. Is it to ask a question? Is it to follow up on an application? Make sure the purpose of the email comes across clearly in your message. For example, you may want to end your email with a statement like, “please advise,” or “please confirm.” Try to get all the important information down in one email, rather than sending multiples.

Timing is important. Whether you are a worker, student, both or neither, it’s best to respond promptly. Wait no longer than 24 hours to respond to non-urgent emails.

Say This: “Dear X,

My name is Sophia (Last Name), and I am a student at (Your School). It’s a pleasure to be introduced. I’m reaching out to schedule a time for us to speak regarding my application. Please let me know when you’re available for a quick call and I will do my best to accommodate your schedule. I look forward to speaking!

Best,

(Your Email Signature).”

Not That: “Hi, are you available to talk this week? Let me know.”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Dear Ilana and Jess: My wife and I are getting into a lot of spats lately. When she asks me to do something, I feel like I’m being nagged. To be fair, I’m probably not doing enough. We really get on each other’s nerves; usually over chores. How can we cut out the bickering? - Elliot

Dear Elliot: You’re onto something here. If your wife has to ask you to fulfill a task multiple times, there’s probably an issue with initiative on your end. When she repeats herself a fourth time, she’s packing the frustration of three, successive, failed attempts. Rather than waiting for your wife to ask, set reminders for yourself so she doesn’t have to. If you can’t get around to something for any reason, give her a head’s up, for example: “Sweetie, I know you asked me to take out the trash. I’m catching up on some emails, so I didn’t get around to it yet. Just wanted to let you know I didn’t forget.”

That being said, perhaps the division of labor has not been clearly communicated. When it comes to who’s doing what, it’s important to actually have the conversation in which those decisions are made. Often times, couples assume the other will take care or one thing or another and that’s when you get into trouble. If you’re feeling frustrated, it’s possible that there are unspoken expectations between you and your wife. So, make sure to clarify those and bring them out into the open.

Say This: “Sweetie, I know you asked me to take out the trash. I’m catching up on some emails, so I didn’t get around to it yet. Just wanted to let you know I didn’t forget.”

Not That: “I said I’ll do it, so I’ll get around to it.”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Dear Ilana and Jess: My kids want elaborate Halloween costumes this year. The ones they’ve picked are adorable, but so expensive. We really can’t afford to buy three costumes at those prices. How can I explain this to them? – Patricia

Dear Patricia: It’s a fact that the costumes are unaffordable, so first, establish realistic expectations for yourself before communicating them to your children. While the kids probably can’t understand the details of your family’s financial constraints, it’s always a good idea to be honest with them. Explaining what the kids need to know, in an age-appropriate way, can give them deeper understanding and alleviate some frustration. For example, you might start out by saying to the kids: “I love the costumes you’ve picked out! Unfortunately, we can’t afford to buy a costume at this price. Every family is different, and we have to make the best we can with what our family has.”

In every obstacle, there’s an opportunity. Once you explain the limitations, instill hope and demonstrate how the kids can create an awesome Halloween costume. Say this: “Even though we can’t afford the specific costume you picked out, we can make something just like it together. Why don’t we go to the craft store together after school on Friday to pick out all the materials you need and get started?” The more fun and collaborative you make the process, the more you prime your kids to feel excited. Not the crafting kind? See if you can construct the costume by purchasing clothing items that look similar to the costume itself. Then, you can then find accessories at a local party store that really make it feel authentic.

Say This: “I love the costume you’ve picked out! Unfortunately, we can’t afford to buy a costume at this price. Every family is different, and we have to make the best we can with what our family has. Even though we can’t afford the specific costume you picked out, we can make something just like it together. Why don’t we go to the craft store together after school on Friday to pick out all the materials you need and get started?”

Not That: “We just can’t afford this. You need to pick something else.”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION