Dear Ilana and Jess: My son Mark has just graduated from college. He has a six-month grace period to keep his loans in deferment. Once that’s done, we have no plan. Help! - Vanessa

Dear Vanessa: As you well know, higher education isn’t free, and that diploma comes with a hefty price tag. In July 2018, Forbes magazine called American student loan debt a, “1.5 trillion-dollar crisis.” So now, Mark not only needs to secure a job, but an income that allows him to put a drop in that huge bucket. How do you begin to tackle this literal crisis?

First, make a list. Mark needs to get the names of all the places that have given him loans; whether it’s the government or a private company. Have him make a spreadsheet so he can keep track of his interest rates for each, individual loan.

Next, reach out to government or private loan agencies. Every company has a CEO or person in charge. Reach out to them. Maybe Mark is in a situation in which he cannot pay back his loans, even after the grace period. If there are extenuating circumstances, Mark should write a letter to the person in charge of the loan servicing agency and explain what’s going on. He should honest and open about his circumstances; you may be surprised by how understanding people can be.

Advocate for yourself. A lot of people don’t realize the range of loan repayment options available to them. Mark should be direct when communicating with loan servicers. If he needs an extension on the deferment period, he should ask for it directly. He may not get it, but he may learn about other repayment options that will help him get on his feet before those large payments become due. Just because one person says “no,” doesn’t mean everyone will. Mark should be tenacious in his approach and keep trying.

Most importantly, Mark should proactively seek gainful employment. This is the longest-term solution. (For more on that, see our column from 1/16 “Giving Your Resume an Edge” and stay tuned for next week’s column on making the job search successful!)

Say This: “(Loan Officer), I’m newly graduated and have been unable to get a job that pays enough money to afford my required monthly loan payments. I’m reaching out to seek any assistance you might be able to offer and to explore my repayment options.”

Not That: “Let’s just hope it works out.”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

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Dear Ilana and Jess: My daughter Tracy is a college senior. While I’ll always be there for her, she’s branching out into the professional world, and the support she needs to do so seems out of my reach. How can I help her find a mentor who really understands what she needs to do next? - Ted

Dear Ted: First, kudos to you for knowing your limits and helping your daughter launch. You’ve got the right idea. When Tracy was at home, she might have relied on you or her siblings to navigate the teenage years. The transition to young adulthood brings new challenges, and the well of guidance from her existing pool may have run dry.

To begin the process of finding a mentor, we first have to define the word. A mentor is someone who is totally on her side, but totally objective, too. A mentor is someone who has walked the walk, gone through whatever challenges she’s facing, and has come out on top. So how do you get a mentor onboard? First, know who to look for. Tracy should be trying to find a mentor who is successful in her field of interest. Their experience is key to her experience. Second, know where to look. Mentors are all around Tracy at college; she just needs to know where to find them. A mentor can be a graduate or teaching assistant in a class she’s taking, or even the professor who teaches that class. Bosses and coworkers from jobs and internships can also make great mentors, if the job or internship is related to Tracy’s field of study. Mentors can also be found in the alumni network of your daughter’s school; alumni usually love to help students from their alma mater.

Tell Tracy to head to the Career and Academic Planning Center at her college. The advisors there may be able to set her up directly with a mentor on campus. They may even link her to formal alumni mentoring programs.

When meeting with a prospective mentor, Tracy should keep it conversational and skip the question: “Will you be my mentor?” Mentorship shouldn’t feel like an obligation; instead, it should be a symbiotic relationship, in which both parties can help each other. Tracy can ask a potential mentor out for a coffee or lunch to get to know them better.

Before heading into that meal, Tracy should do her research. She’ll want to get as much as she can out of that first meeting, and show her mentor that she means business. Advise Tracy to look up information about that individual, such as their past roles and experiences. Have her find a way to link their experience to hers, or connect it to her future plans.

Finally, leave that meeting with a plan. Before Tracy and her mentor part ways, Tracy should propose another time to meet, to continue their conversation. Tracy should do this after every meeting, until these meetings become routine. It allows the mentorship to grow organically and ensures that both parties stay in touch.

Say This: “Hi, (Professor.) I’ve really been enjoying your class and have read many of your publications. I am eager to pursue a career in this field, and I was wondering if you had time to meet for coffee. I’d love to pick your brain and to ask some questions about your experience.”

Not That: “Will you be my mentor?”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Dear Ilana and Jess: I want my daughter to have a competitive resume, but I’ve been out of the job search for so long that I have no idea how to help her. Any tips? — Ray

Dear Ray: We have more than a few — let’s get right to it. Research suggests that the most common resume errors have to do with grammar and formatting. When your daughter writes her resume, make sure she checks, double checks, then triple checks her writing. She must — and we repeat, must — format her resume in an organized manner, using a legible font, consistent spacing, and clear line breaks. There are plenty of templates online that can be used to help her accomplish this; she can tinker with a few until she finds the one that works best.

If your daughter is fulfilling an application online or submitting her resume via email, ensure that she saves the file as a PDF before sending, to preserve the document’s structure. She should always review the document in PDF format before sending, to make sure that everything looks right. She should also make sure her resume is no longer than one page.

Your daughter should list her most impressive and relevant achievements near the top of each entry. These achievements should be described using action verbs, which express proactive physical or mental action. For example, let’s say your daughter took on an internship that allowed her to work with a company’s leadership team in a collaborative capacity. Instead of writing, “worked with CEO and president,” your daughter might write, “collaborated with CEO and president.” The second sentence contains an action verb (collaborated) and sounds more impressive.

Make sure your daughter continuously modifies and tailors her resume to each application, such that the experiences and skills most relevant to her desired position are highlighted.

For example, if your daughter has had both administrative and clinical roles in healthcare settings, but wants to apply to a clinical position, she should detail her clinical experiences most thoroughly.

Another resume trend you should be aware of: the “objective” statement has by and large been replaced by the “summary” statement. What’s the difference? Besides the word, there’s a shift in focus: in an objective statement, people traditionally list general attributes or goals, for example: “driven and ambitious professional, looking to drive positive client experiences.” In a summary statement, resume writers highlight their notable accomplishments; the experiences and skills that are unique to them. For example, a summary statement might read: “Driven professional with extensive administrative and human service experience. Collaborated with top tier executives on client contracts, event planning, and promotional campaigns.”

Finally, make sure that your daughter knows that her resume is not the place to downplay her accomplishments: A resume is your personal elevator pitch. If she’s worried about being perceived as a bragger, explain the difference between being arrogant and being a good salesperson. Your daughter’s resume should show prospective employers her unique strengths, and demonstrate how she will be an asset to their company or team. If she doesn’t toot her own horn, no one else will!

On a resume –

Say This: “Driven professional with extensive administrative and human service experience. Collaborated with top tier executives on client contracts, event planning and promotional campaigns. Extensive experience driving positive outcomes for clients, in both corporate and clinical settings.”

Not That: “Young, talented professional looking to assist clients in their goals.”

Best of luck to your daughter!

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION