It was one of those days. The house was upside-down, and the kids -- ages 5 and 3 at the time -- wouldn't listen. My list of things to do kept getting longer. Deadlines loomed. I was tired, stressed and felt resentment and self-pity building.

All of a sudden, my most pressing problem became that I had nothing to wear to an upcoming event.

I piled the children in the car and headed to a sale at a favorite boutique. I yelled at them nearly the entire 15 minutes we were in the car. By the time I had them in the double stroller, the youngest had fallen asleep.

I started piling clothes in my arms. We headed to a dressing room. Nearly two hours later, I had bought a purse, a pair of shoes, a top, a pair of pants and two bracelets. And I felt so much better.

I was calmer. I was happier. I was nicer to my sweet children, ready to face dinner, bedtime battles and a late night of working.

It was retail therapy at its worst. I knew the guilt would hit soon enough.

Even though I live within my means and refuse to carry a credit card balance, I'm haunted by my impulse to accumulate more stuff. I hate how much I enjoy buying.

A year and a half ago, I came face-to-face with my dueling inner demons. I swore off buying anything new for myself for an entire year. I told all my friends that I was on a consumption diet and not to call me when they went shopping.

They thought I was nuts. My consumption diet lasted a few months -- until the week before we left for vacation. My outward excuse was that I had nothing appropriate for Florida weather, but I suspect the real reason I binged at Target was because the week before a trip is pure hell for most working parents. You're trying to get extra work done so you're not so far behind when you come back, along with setting up travel logistics, getting the kids packed and making other arrangements. You're exhausted before you arrive at your destination.

There's a documented connection between our emotions and how much we spend. If we are sad, feeling sorry for ourselves or stressed, we shop more. We ignore the other, more responsible voices in our head: Is this stuff made with any consideration for Earth's limited resources? Are the workers paid a fair, living wage? How long before it ends up in a landfill?

Like any temporary, euphoric fix, we are trying to fill a void.

Even before I watched the viral anti-stuff video at storyofstuff.org, I knew I wanted to break this cycle. Intellectually, we know it's a false notion that things can sustain happiness. Lives today are filled with more things than ever, and less happiness. We're filling the world with stuff and throwing fuel on a raging consumption fire.

To anyone who feels the pain of this economy, I don't believe we can spend our way out of this one. We are told that individual consumers keep the economy chugging, and we have internalized that message -- our national spending far outpaces our saving.

I have plans to restart my consumption diet. It's best to take it day by day, week by week. I will consider this list of things that make me happy and don't require a trip to the mall: my children's laughter, a favorite song, a well-told story, a nap, a brisk walk, a conversation with a friend or family member. I vow to think about the consequences beyond limited closet space.

This is a time to invest in experiences, not things.

Resolving to drop some extra pounds is a popular way to start the new year, but a bad relationship can also be weighing you down.

At a time when many people take stock of their finances, their health and career goals, the new year is also an opportunity to re-evaluate relationships -- with family members, partners, friends and social acquaintances.

And one of the most difficult relationships a person can have is with a narcissist.

There may be warning signs in a problematic relationship you've been ignoring for years.

The label "narcissist" was frequently heard in the past election year, and is often used to describe politicians or celebrities. But when does self-absorbed, egotistical behavior become a medically recognized problem requiring treatment? And can a person with a narcissistic personality ever truly change?

Let's first look at the characteristics that comprise the diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Such a person exhibits several of these traits:

-- Having a grandiose sense of self-importance

-- Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

-- Exaggerating their achievements and talents

-- Being preoccupied with fantasies about unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

-- Believing that they are superior and can only be understood by equally special people

-- Requiring constant, excessive admiration

-- Having a sense of entitlement and an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment

-- Expecting unquestioning compliance with their demands

-- Taking advantage of others to get what they want; being exploitative and manipulative

-- Lacking empathy; having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

-- Being envious of others and believing others envy them

-- Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

There's a reason these attributes may sound familiar to the parents of a toddler or teenager. St. Louis-area psychologist and clinical director Tom Chida says that it's normal for children to show elements of narcissism as they grow and develop.

As we grow up, most people learn to grow beyond ourselves, he said. "But some people don't. They stay in that highly egocentric state."

Their overconfidence masks a fragile self-esteem. The slightest criticism provokes hostility and lashing out far greater than the perceived insult.

Malignant narcissists enjoy having control and power over other people. They enjoy exploiting people for their own advantage, Chida explained. These are dangerous people to have in your life, capable of great harm, aided by their lack of empathy. They are thin-skinned, controlling, power-hungry and unable to handle the slightest criticism.

The exact cause of NPD is unknown, but it's thought to be linked to either excessive pampering or excessive criticism in the parent-child relationship.

Having a personality disorder is different from suffering from a bout of depression or anxiety, which can be brought on by difficult circumstances. Personality takes years to form. So it can take years of therapy for a narcissist to attempt to learn new skills and behaviors, Chida said. That's not to say a narcissist is incapable of change. But the biggest obstacle to change may be his own psyche, which makes the narcissist unwilling to accept a problem within himself. The narcissist's fragile ego is so threatened by the notion that their manipulative behavior is problematic that they reject that idea altogether. They blame others for their problems.

The mentality is "as long as this is working for me, I presume we are all equally happy," Chida said.

If you realize you're in a relationship with a narcissist who doesn't recognize they have a problem or one who is uninterested in changing, Chida offered this straightforward advice:

Run the other way.

-- Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

When it's time to take down the tree and pack the decorations, there are fresh memories of the holidays going into storage, as well. For some, those memories were made around secondhand trees.

You can find shelves filled with packages of shiny, color-coordinated ornaments in every big-box store. It's easy and relatively affordable to create a polished, commercial-looking tree decked for the holidays.

So, why would anyone consider a tree adorned in secondhand items from a thrift store?

Because sometimes, the feeling evoked by a Christmas display is more important than how it looks.

That's what shoppers often discover at thrift stores, many of which stock up to a third of their shops with holiday decor during this season.

Kristy Lance, retail vice president for St. Louis' MERS Goodwill, says people come looking for deals, but also for vintage or unique items.

"In a lot of stores, I hear 'I haven't seen this ornament since I was a child at my grandmother's,'" Lance said. She's met with customers who decide to put up a tree in every room in their house because the ones at Goodwill are so affordable.

Anne Carr, store manager at Miriam Switching Post in Brentwood, Missouri, has heard similar feedback from shoppers.

"They want to create a unique tree that not everyone else has," she said.

Most thrift stores collect gently used Christmas decor year-round. The Switching Post closes the store one Sunday in mid-November, and the staff goes through hundreds of boxes of that year's treasures. The trove might include Baccarat or Waterford ornaments, to be sold at a third of their retail value. This year, they had hundreds of boxes of Hallmark Keepsake ornaments, all in the original boxes, including one of Joe Namath from a retired series.

Linda Estell has been a volunteer at the Switching Post for 18 years. She takes the lead in creating some of the themed, fully decorated trees for sale in the store. She doesn't purchase a single new item to create a tree displayed in the store; they're entirely put together with donated items.

She starts by taking stock of everything they have, and selecting items for the staff to work around. It can require thinking outside the box. One year, they created a hot pink and purple Barbie tree with dolls attached. They've hung tiny teacups from trees before, too, and created a snowman tree once. This year, Estell found a Christmas train set that caught her eye. She used wire to attach the individual train sections to the branches, along with pieces of the tracks and even stuffed bears in plaid outfits. She added old-fashioned lightbulbs and some children's books to complete the vintage toy-themed tree. A plaid tablecloth filled in for a tree skirt.

Besides being fun displays, having a tree pre-decorated can take a load off some shoppers' minds. A few years ago, a newly divorced man wandered into the store, worried about what he would do for a tree when his children visited for the holidays. Estell remembers him finding one of the decorated ones in the store and saying, "Perfect! I have a tree now."

For socially conscious shoppers and parents wanting to model a lesson for their children, thrift shopping offers the added plus of supporting a charitable cause. Goodwill's proceeds go to job-training programs, and the Switching Post donates all proceeds to the Miriam School, a local private school for kids with learning disabilities.

Besides, it's just fun to explore at these shops.

"There's an element of a treasure hunt to it, " Carr said. "We move a lot of merchandise every day. There's something new every day."

Well, technically, it isn't "new."

But new can be overrated. After all, the holiday spirit is as old as time.