Each generation learns to navigate relationships in its own way.

Today's children understand friendship and social interactions mediated largely through technology.

We're not sure what this means for their long-term social development. Will they be less inclined to keep healthy, long-term relationships because it's easy to "ghost" someone from your life? Or will the ease of staying in touch through technology allow them to maintain lifelong connections despite diverging life paths?

No one really knows.

Perhaps relationships are more disposable when there's always someone else around the digital corner. Are we better off with the type of "friendship" social media fosters: a broad, shallow network? Or by having a small, close group with deeper ties?

Research suggests the number and depth of friendships depends on our mobility, social class and personal temperament.

Most Americans have just two close friends, according to a 2011 Cornell study. This is down from three close confidantes 25 years ago.

As the first generation of parents raising digitally socialized children, we have our own learning curve about the social mores and conventions they follow.

Friend is used in a loosey-goosey way in our language. A Facebook "friend" may or may not be a real "friend." A follower on Instagram may like all your posts and provide a sense of validation or community, but that's as deep as the relationship goes. Shared interests, common experiences and enjoyable company often spark a friendship, but those aren't the only criteria that elevate interaction to friendship.

Like the Eskimo words for snow, Generation Z, born after the Millennials, will understand the variation and subtleties of friendship differently than we do.

Some people have interests in common with you, such as yoga, running or having brunch. Others have a shared history, like childhoods, college years or workplaces. Some people challenge, motivate or inspire you. Others are hilarious and make you laugh.

But certain elements of friendship do not change. In Insta-speak, a young person can apply these filters to a relationship to get a clearer picture:

1. Can you be honest about yourself with this person? Do you feel safe saying what you think and feel? Are you able to disagree, even vehemently, and be OK? Friends are not there to affirm and agree with every single thing we say or do.

2. Do you feel heard in your conversations? Do interactions with this person leave you feeling uplifted, recharged, supported or cared for? Does the person help you see things in a new way or help you find solutions to your problems? The relationship should make you feel whole rather than less than.

3. Can you share the pain and ways of coping in life rather than just the polished, funny, edited parts? Can you share your struggles, beyond your accomplishments or highlight reel?

4. Is it a two-way street? Does the person share with and trust you the way you do with him or her?

5. Is the person available when needed, reliable and true to his or her word?

6. Does the person keep your confidences? Can he or she be trusted?

7. Is there mutual respect and admiration between the two of you? If you respect and admire someone, you value what they tell you. You listen to their advice.

8. Does the person pay attention when you talk? Does she remember what you've said?

9. Are you able to survive a fight? People make mistakes. They ask for forgiveness and try not to repeat them. Whether it's a miscommunication, a mean response or a breach of trust, does the person recognize his role and accept responsibility? Can you forgive and move on?

10. Do both of you make an effort to see each other in real life, face-to-face? Scientists note the primal importance of touch -- casual, platonic, nonsexual -- between people in creating bonds.

You should be able to answer yes to these if you're in the company of a true friend.

Maria Konnikova wrote an essay for The New Yorker exploring the human capacity for friendship. She writes that evolutionary anthropologist Robin Dunbar claims we can only cope with about 150 casual friends at a given time, 15 of whom could be considered intimate. And only five of those might be trustworthy. That includes intimate partners and close family.

I refer to this core of five as my team. These are the MVPs among BFFs.

When you find friends like this, recognize how valuable they are. Make an effort. In a "friend"-saturated world, true friendship is rare.

I've survived hurricanes in the South and tornadoes in the Midwest.

I've witnessed that eerie sense of calm one moment, an ambush of fury the next, and wild temperatures swings within the same day.

You would think I'd be better prepared for the emotional storm that hits home with a preteen girl. You would be wrong.

There's an intensity in how quickly the climate in the home can change, leaving you searching for some kind of shelter. It's reminiscent of the turbulence of toddlerhood for good reason. Both are times of rapid physical and emotional development, boundary testing, separating and clinging.

It's an isolating and confusing time for children and their parents.

Now, along comes Pixar to make us feel all the feels we couldn't well explain before "Inside Out." The blockbuster movie is not just a feel-good flick; it's a feel-sad, feel-angry, feel-scared, feel-disgusted adventure inside a young girl's head.

The plot of the movie is deceptively simple: 11-year-old Riley and her family move from Minnesota to San Francisco, and the move is hard on her. That pretty much covers the external events. The major drama unfolds inside Riley's head, as her emotions struggle to deal with these new circumstances and her feelings of loss.

The personification of her emotions -- joy, fear, anger, disgust and sadness -- and the way they work together and against one another resembles the mood swings and emotional turbulence of puberty.

I saw the movie with my 12-year-old daughter, one of her best friends and a 6-year-old and her mom. We each connected to it in our own way. The interplay of conflicting feelings, the cacophony of emotions sounded so familiar and felt authentic. The message -- that we often try too hard for happiness when we are struggling inside -- feels as true in middle age as it does in middle school. The reminder that sadness is also important, that it can guide us to seek comfort and help, is valuable.

But perhaps the most important takeaway from the film is the visually engaging way it helps us become aware of that connection between what we are feeling and how we respond to those emotions. Being able to identify and name your emotions when you might be feeling overwhelmed or upset is a component of emotional intelligence.

When we can identify something, we can begin to understand it better.

For a child to realize that it's normal to have competing, overwhelming, intense emotions is a developmental discovery that helps pave the way to being able to process them and deal with those feelings in a constructive way.

The medical experts who consulted with Pixar on the film wrote an opinion piece for the New York Times, saying that emotions help organize our thoughts rather than disrupt rational thinking. They point us to what really matters. They provoke us to act.

Even when a child may recognize that she feels anxious or angry, she may not be able to make the connection to everything fueling those emotions. There's a learning curve to figuring out how your emotions are impacting your behavior and reactions. From there, you can begin to recognize your own power to gradually alter what you are feeling and how you are reacting.

Some adults never master these skills.

Both my daughter and I had the same thought after watching the movie: They should show this in every school.

She thought it was interesting that much of what happened in the movie happened inside someone's head, in that internal space it's often hard to make sense of.

"But what happened in the movie was happening to everyone in the theater," she said. "Everyone's emotions were working."

That's true.

Even the shared experience of a mother and daughter watching another tween's emotional upheaval felt hopeful and healing.

It suggested the tumultuous changes in our own relationship would one day also become more settled.

Skies do eventually clear.

When Paul booked the family's beach house for the summer, the first question from his teens was: Does it have Wi-Fi?

If it didn't, they weren't interested in going.

The family was safe to vacation there, he informed them. It offered their life-blood connection to the Internet. Paul, who wanted to avoid publicly calling out his children, is hardly alone in this struggle.

But it's not just digital natives who are scared of missing out, anxious about being disconnected, unaccustomed to boredom and glued to their devices. It's the ones paying for the vacation, as well.

Amy Bartlett, a spokeswoman for Yellowstone National Park, says about 15 to 20 percent of the park has cellphone coverage.

"Some folks come and they are grateful for that -- having all members of the family, including teenagers, disconnected," she said. "And there are people who want to be tapped in 24/7 and have the ability to check whatever they want to check, whenever they want."

She has had to explain: "We're a national park. There is wild land. You're not going to have cell coverage everywhere.

"That's just the nature of being in the wilderness," she said.

In the spots where cellphone coverage is available, there are so many people trying to access it at once in the summer (during vacations, presumably) that many people can't connect, she said.

Steve and Debbie Millett, of St. Louis, didn't intend on a tech-free vacation with their two children last month, but when they were in Yosemite, Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks, they were all forced to unplug completely for a couple days.

"It was quite eye-opening for me, actually, to realize how much I missed it," Debbie said. "I saw one guy on our bus on his phone one day at Sequoia and I was like, 'HOW ARE YOU ON THE PHONE!?'" (It turned out that he had Verizon as his cell provider; she has AT&T. She was very jealous.)

"Many of the adults were constantly checking phones for signals," she said.

In fairness, we rely on our phones to get directions, find hotels or restaurants, check the weather, monitor flights, and take and share photos. This technology helps vacations function more smoothly.

The notion of going cold turkey on tech didn't appeal to a St. Louis mother of three daughters.

"Even on planes and in cars?" she asked. "Hell, no."

She liked the idea of trying to be tech-free once they arrived at a destination, but worried about whether she would be able to stick to it herself.

It's not a vacation if you're all miserable.

There are ways to limit the negative effects of tech dependence without going to extremes. Common Sense Media suggests an "inside/outside" rule: Tech is allowed in the house or at night, but the daytime is reserved for exploring and talking to one another.

Set aside sacred times, like meals, to be tech-free. When you do have screen time, make it a family thing: Have a family video game or movie night, so everyone is sharing the experience. For those who love to take pictures, create a daily family photo contest.

Put the child whose ears are constantly plugged with earbuds in charge of making a family playlist to enjoy during car rides.

It's easy to turn off the data plan on devices, so family members can still take pictures and make calls, but cannot use data except over Wi-Fi.

Taking these steps can limit technology-induced isolation during what should be special family time.

The greatest temptation for a child with a phone is to retreat and isolate oneself physically, emotionally and mentally. Parents can't compete with a phone's promise of constant interaction with friends back home -- especially since, at a certain age, our children barely tolerate our presence.

We can remember how we handled downtime on family vacations before we could carry all our entertainment in our pockets: We played cards or board games. Read books. Talked to one another. Made up silly games.

It might sound quaint to imagine being able to recreate that today, especially with teens. But, if expectations are communicated early on, incentives offered and buy-in established before the trip, it's not outside the realm of possibility.

The days with limited technology access made the Milletts' trip richer, Steve said. "(The kids) had to think how to manage time when there was no instant stimulus or activity," he said.

Family vacations are an investment -- of our time, money and effort. They are planned with the hopes of enjoying time with the people we love and creating fond memories.

Consider unplugging as part of the cost.