For some questions, you don't really want answers.

Do we really want to know how and when we will meet our demise?

Or what others really think of us?

And perhaps most unnerving: Where does all our time go?

We are a nation obsessed with time. We search for ways to maximize our productivity -- to earn more, to accomplish more -- while stressing about ways to maximize our leisure -- to sleep more, to relax and connect with others more. There are life hacks, parenting hacks and technology hacks, all promising ways to improve our efficiency.

Modern parents are a tribe of shufflers and schedulers, with our color-coded calendars and lists. My God, the lists. The current lifestyle affliction is organexia; you can never be organized enough! You may not feel entirely in control of your life, but you can channel those displaced control issues into hyper-organized systems and Pinterest projects.

Christine Linder, a St. Louis-based co-founder of grantmamas.com, recently co-published an e-book called "Are You Controlling Your Family's Schedule, Or Is It Controlling You?" ($4.99). The section on "How is your family spending its time?" begins by asking if you often feel "stressed and scattered, like you're bouncing from one activity to the next -- like a human ball in a pinball machine."

Why, yes, there have been a few quarters spent in the Sultan arcade.

The manual advises estimating how many hours each member of the family spends at work or at school, commuting, running errands, cooking meals, involved in extracurriculars, you get the picture. There's a worksheet with line items such as "watching television," "chores" and "sleep."

The manual suggests taking this exercise a step further, printing additional copies and asking each family member to complete a form.

"It's fun to complete them as a family so you can discuss each activity," the instructions say.

About as fun as a blindfolded sword fight in some homes, I'm sure.

Our perceptions of how we spend our time may be wildly skewed from reality. Linder, whose goal is to help mothers have better-organized lives and schedules so they can be more involved in their children's schools, filled out her own "time spent" worksheet and shared the results with me. I wasn't shocked by her findings.

"I spend a lot of time doing activities that I could cut back on or multitask or hand off for someone else in my family to deal with," she said. In addition to working about 60 hours a week, she and her husband have a 2-year-old daughter.

"I didn't have a lot of 'me' time," she said. "I don't have time to read. I found I didn't have a lot of hobbies ... I didn't have a ton of downtime. I was constantly filling my time." She has attempted to change that by delegating a few chores and taking more hikes with her family.

"I"m still trying, let's be honest," she said.

Keeping detailed and accurate time logs, which seems to require even more work and honesty than a food journal, is a daunting prospect. But even the guesstimate activity proposed by this worksheet could be useful, if only as a reality check.

If you're tired and feeling stressed, chances are good you're doing too much and expecting too much.

There are 168 hours in a week. That sounds so concrete for something so ephemeral. If we can figure how many hours of that are devoted to various activities, it's tempting to see how the numbers align with what we claim to value. But, there's also a danger of realizing that the entire foundation of what we expect -- time for working, time with our children, time with our partners, time for chores, time for friends and time for our own interests -- is not compatible with the reality of how our society runs.

I'd like to try to log all my family's hours for a week, but I'm scared of what I might discover. What if I discover I'm frittering too many hours aimlessly on the Internet? What if I'm not spending nearly as much time with my children as I think? What if there is an imbalance in the division of labor in this household? Perhaps I really don't want to deal with the consequences of those answers just yet. Maybe the problem isn't that we aren't organized enough, but that the organization is too much.

Ben Westhoff, a writer with 7-month-old and 3-year-old sons, says it could be interesting to get a more specific idea of how he and his wife use their time. But he captured the truth of our fixation with time with his honest ambivalence about the idea.

"I'd like to get a handle on that," he said initially, then considered it a hot minute longer.

"I mean, not really, but theoretically, yeah."

Raising good readers seems pretty straightforward.

Much of the research on it sounds like common sense: Let children pick what they want to read, even if it's comic books or magazines; let them see you read; talk about books to them; make reading material available in your home; and above all else, read to them.

In the same way our children see us watching television, surfing the Internet and listening to music for entertainment, they should see us read for fun. If a parent loves to read, odds are good the child will learn to find joy in words, too.

So, I was surprised when a finding from the latest Scholastic Kids and Family Reading Report caught my eye, because it brought to light a common mistake most parents don't realize they are making.

Most of us stop reading to our children too early.

The survey found that, predictably, the number of children being read aloud to dips dramatically as a child grows up. More than half of children under the age of 5 are read aloud to almost every day. This drops to 1 in 3 children ages 6 to 8, and just 1 in 6 children ages 9 to 11. More telling than those numbers is how the children said they felt about it: 40 percent of children who are no longer read to say they wish their parents had continued.

Their No. 1 reason was because "it was a special time with my parents."

Maggie McGuire, vice president of Scholastic Kids and Parents Channels, says parents and caregivers are a child's first touch point with stories. Reading together is a chance for a child to be exposed to new words, plus a time to relax and bond. All of these positive associations establish reading as a pleasurable and entertaining activity for a child, creating a lifelong connection to it.

"It spoke so loudly (in the survey): Keep it going as long as you can," she said.

I had stopped reading to my children when they became fairly strong independent readers, probably around first grade, and I was skeptical that my now-fourth-grader would still be interested. But I took note of another statistic in the study: The percentage of kids who said they read a book for fun between 5 to 7 days a week is much smaller among boys. About a quarter of boys said they read this frequently for fun, and that number has dropped from 32 percent in 2010. Reading frequency has also declined since then in children over the age of 8. The steepest decline has been in children ages 15 to 17, of whom just 14 percent said they frequently read a book for fun.

These trend lines worry me, especially as the data show children spending ever-increasing amounts of time in front of screens.

That night, I raised the subject with my son.

"Remember when you were younger, and I used to read to you at night all the time?"

"Yes. Where is this going?" he asked. Why are children so suspicious? "Are you writing a column about this?"

"Fine, yes, I am," I told the little cynic. I suggested that we could read together for 15 minutes at night, from whichever book he chose.

He was lukewarm to the idea. It sounded a little babyish, not so cool for a 9-year-old. But with a little convincing, he agreed to give it a try again.

There were some specific instructions the first night: Don't read in a bored voice. But don't read as if it's a baby book, he said.

I can take direction. Plus, let's just say I've always thought I could have had a shot as an audiobook reader. I should definitely get some style points on my read-aloud technique. In my humble opinion, of course.

I kept an eye on the clock and after exactly 15 minutes, I closed the book.

"Five more minutes," he said.

Ah, victory. I couldn't help gloating a little.

"I thought you didn't want to read with me anymore?"

Well, this is a funny book, and it's cozy here, he told me.

Fair enough. Maybe it's not my dramatic flair for reading prose, but I'll take it.

In the course of the week, we have nearly finished the book, and he's even read ahead several chapters on his own.

I couldn't help but smile when I saw him bring a book to me recently before going to bed.

"Can you read to me tonight?"

For a book lover, there are few sweeter words.

Courtney Rawlins remembers those days in grade school when she and her classmates would get on the bus carrying a report card sealed in an envelope. Five subjects with letter grades ranging from A to F awaited the child.

"You would open it, and boom," she said. "That's how you were doing."

If her third-grader tried to look at his own report card the same way, he would have no idea what to take from it.

His four-page report card has a 39-page rubric to explain what each line item might mean.

"Why is there a 39-page document to understand my 8-year-old's report card?" she asked.

Rawlins, whose children attend public schools in the St. Louis area, says she understands the district's desire to provide parents with detailed information.

"But you can't see the forest for the trees," she said.

For parents with children in grade school now, the changes in the school report card can be shocking.

We grew up with a standard system of reporting grades, pretty much throughout the country. Now, each district in each state may have its own method of marking grades. The school may use a system of numbers from 1 to 4 (or 1 to 5), letters representing words from Needs Improvement to Outstanding, or a range of words from Below to Proficient to Advanced. And the kindergarten to second grade report cards may be different from the upper grades.

The report card used to be the primary tool for parents to quickly understand how well their child was doing in school. It's become anything but.

Kevin Beckner, coordinator of student assessment in St. Louis' Parkway School District, says he is sympathetic to parents' frustrations.

"The current elementary school report card is four pages long. In English (alone), there are 21 different things we mark. We are looking at how we streamline that," he said.

But even the older system of letter grades was not as clear as we assumed it to be, he said. "A B- means different things to different people," he said. For some people, a C might represent the average. For others, it means something is off-track with the student's learning.

"So, which is it?" he asked. Most parents today would not accept a report card filled with C's for a child who is meeting expectations as he should.

"We all had, growing up, one system. We internalized what the connection was between the learning and the letter," he said. Now, the goal is to more clearly communicate specifically what a student is learning, and there's a different language used to express that. Sometimes, things get lost in translation.

"Sure, you're 'meeting the expectation,'" Rawlins said. "But what does that really mean?" She's seen her child get the same score in two subjects, one of which she believes he is much stronger in than the other.

"My concern is that we can float through thinking our children are doing fine, but could they be doing better?"

Beckner said his district trains teachers to provide detailed comments on the report cards and answer any questions through emails, calls or conferences. Rawlins agrees that, in her own school, it's the direct communication with the teachers that is most helpful.

The gradual shift in report cards over the past decade reflects the move toward referencing grades against how well students reach a given standard. It's difficult for parents to know how well the student has mastered that material compared to his or her peers. If your child gets a "3" in math, an "S" for Satisfactory or a "Proficient" for meeting expectations, how wide is that range of 'Satisfactory'? Has she learned the material solidly, near the top of the pack, or is she barely scraping by? In a previous era, this may have been communicated by the difference between a B- and a B+.

Now, there may be dozens of subcategories within math, each with its own score, and the parent is left to decipher how well the child has learned what was taught.

It can get even more complicated depending on a teacher's own interpretation of how to score each grading period. For example, one teacher may measure how a student is progressing compared to their goal for the year. Near the beginning of the year, a student may earn a "P" for Progressing, with that grade hopefully reflecting full mastery by the end of the year. In the very same school, the teacher in the next classroom may be marking students based on how well they've learned the content simply within that given grading period.

This lack of consistency within schools and across districts makes the report card less useful for parents.

Rawlins, who has a degree in economics, said she has an understanding of numbers and spreadsheets, but that the complicated report cards still baffle her. She plans to ask her school to host a Parents Night to explain the mysteries behind the report cards.

"I understand what the reports cards are trying to communicate," she said, "but sometimes they lead to more questions than answers."