There's a moment when a child confronts an unfairness so big it changes the way they look at the world.

It could be a significant trauma -- abuse, a loss -- or a simple awareness that the rules don't apply to everyone the same way. There's a moment when we question what we've been taught or assumed to be true in a way that shakes the ground underneath us.

For the past several days, some children in Ferguson, Missouri have seen a slain teenager on the street, killed by a police officer -- a childhood symbol of protection. They've witnessed police in riot gear in clouds of tear gas, night after night; heard barking dogs used to try to control the unrest; listened to angry shouts from protesters and police. They have heard shots fired, a building burned, glass shattered.

"I know that in the coming days, weeks and months, children will continue to re-experience this," said Dr. Marva Robinson, president of the St. Louis chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists. And not just those living nearby, but also those who have been watching the news with their parents, she said. Children could have nightmares for years to come. They may be hypersensitive or hypervigilant around law enforcement.

From their parents, they may be hearing about how their community is treated unfairly, targeted or hated. Instead of new backpacks, they may carry a sense of devaluation, anxiety or fear with them as they head back to school.

What is the eventual impact of being exposed at a young age to violence and a feeling that the police can't or won't protect you? You build up a wall of mistrust. You are closed off to persons of authority. You find it hard to trust the guidance of school professionals or others who may want to help you. You see them as part of a system that killed someone who looks like you or doesn't care about children with your skin color.

"If they were innocent before this, the seeds are being planted in them of feeling dehumanized," Robinson said. Those seeds bloom into a cycle that perpetuates scenes like what we are seeing in the St. Louis area.

Isn't the loss of this innocence yet another injustice, which should outrage us and motivate us to do something?

The onus on parents will be to drown out the negative with the light of the positive. Reinforce to children that they do matter. Tell them and show them that the world is bigger than what's happening right now. Teach them that they can be the change that stops incidents like this from occurring again.

The responsibility of the local community will be to step up and increase mentoring so children have role models to emulate and road maps for how they can get there.

The imperative for law enforcement will be to work to change behaviors that target people unfairly. Make it a priority to identify the patterns that lead to this sort of escalation. Listen to the grievances from the community that you are there to serve with an open mind, and address those concerns. Treat people with a basic level of dignity.

Handle the investigation into what happened to 18-year-old Michael Brown, killed last Saturday, with the utmost fairness and transparency.

Those of us further removed from the situation also have obligations. There's a toxic mindset here: Their problem, not ours.

How many of us have taken a sustained interest in a child outside our own family, outside our most immediate circle?

I've had to take a look at my own life and priorities after spending time in Ferguson in the aftermath of the shooting. I care about this region deeply. These recent events may seem to have a weary familiarity to the cynics among us. It may look like these forces at play are much larger than us, these problems much deeper and bigger than we could ever hope to change.

That's just rationalization to sit back and wash your hands of a messy, heartbreaking situation.

This isn't just a tragic story unfolding in a suburb of St. Louis. There are children who lose faith in, and who are failed by, institutions and adults in every city.

I met Ronaldo Ward, 32, of St. Louis, outside the QuikTrip convenience store the morning after it was burned by rioters. There's a question he says he rarely hears from people quick to criticize the community:

"What can I do to make it better?"

As strange as it sounds, I had no idea how to feed my newborn. I couldn't figure out how to get my body parts to work as promised in the lactation class I took during pregnancy.

I was headed straight toward flunking that first big test of motherhood. You know, the one where a child's future health, cancer risk and IQ depend on the mom's mammary glands.

Overachiever that I am, I called in the experts. I hired a lactation consultant to help me figure out why my machinery was out of sync. I read an entire 300-page manual on nursing in the space of two days.

A dear friend saved me. She arrived at my home, watched my technique and gave me a pep talk. She told me not to give up.

I stuck with it and managed to nurse each of my babies for more than a year. But I couldn't understand why no one had told me the real skinny on breastfeeding: how difficult it can be.

Statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that in 2004, 70 percent of mothers reported breastfeeding their infants; the numbers drop to 36 percent at six months and 18 percent at 12 months. No disrespect to the nursing advocates and La Leche League, but maybe more moms would stick with it if they were forewarned that things may not go as smoothly as planned.

Granted, in my case, everything that could have gone wrong, did. I'm glad I was able to nurse for as long as I did, and I wish other moms would, too. But there are a few things I wish I had known before I became an independent milk producer.

For something as seemingly natural and instinctive as feeding and eating, many moms and babies don't get it right away. It's hard enough to handle swollen, sore body parts you no longer recognize, but it's even harder when you've got a screaming, hungry baby in your lap. To make matters worse, certain circumstances, such as getting a C-section, can delay your milk from coming in for days.

I know some women who view formula as Satan's brew. But some babies legitimately need a bit of the other milk, and nursing should not be a zero-sum game. My lactation consultant advised me to divide an ounce or two of formula over the course of a day's nursing, which came out to a few dribbles after each feeding. It worked, and pretty soon, the baby didn't need it.

Nearly every mom will wonder if her child is getting enough milk. Unlike bottles, with their reassuring measurements and marked ounces, breastfeeding requires trusting your body -- a concept foreign to many of us. I took my child to the pediatrician's office in between appointments just to weigh her. To boost my milk supply, I rented a hospital-grade pump to fool my body into making more milk. I was completely convinced I would have to return my daughter to the hospital because I had been unable to keep her properly fed.

She survived. I barely did.

In the beginning, nursing hurts. You can get chapped and cracked and start to bleed. I hurt so badly that my hands would shake. The books say this only happens if you are doing it terribly wrong, but even when you do it right, you may get an infection.

Other things can go wrong, too, such as plugged milk ducts, which sound just as dreadful as they are. Many doctors are useless when it comes to helping in these cases. I called the trusty La Leche women, who know this territory. I ended up sterilizing a needle and doing a minor bit of self-surgery at home. Yes, it hurt.

And, for me, pumping was harder than nursing. The electric pumps sound like ancient farm equipment, which hit a little too close to home in this situation. My body refused to work under these conditions. A friend recommended a European manual hand pump, which worked better but also nearly gave me carpal tunnel syndrome.

I remember walking out of a small private office at work with a bottle of pumped milk in hand, and a male colleague looked at the bottle, then at me and said, "Did you just do that?"

It was as if I had been busted stealing from the supply cabinet.

Modesty changes during those months or years of nursing. These parts of your body become so de-sexualized that you forget how the rest of society views naked breasts.

But even when you've weaned the baby, don't get too excited. Things don't spring back to shape. They deflate for most women.

So, what would make a mama persevere in the face of any -- or all -- of these challenges? You get to sustain a life you helped create. Your baby instantly learns your smell. The milk nourishes her mind and body, while the love and trust feeds your soul. Eventually, both of you figure out the harmony of mealtime.

It seems like as soon as nursing becomes second nature, your child is ready to wean. That may be the last peaceful meal you'll share for some time.

For the first time in American history, we are hearing people rightly question whether a college degree is worth it.

The short answer: It is.

We know that college graduates will earn, on average, about $1 million more over their lifetimes than high school graduates. But the better question is whether a college degree leads to a great life.

That's a longer answer.

The Great Jobs Great Lives Gallup-Purdue Index, released earlier this summer, sought to find answers to these questions by surveying more than 29,000 graduates. The survey assessed grads' well-being by measuring five elements: social support, financial stability, physical health, and senses of purpose and community. Just more than 1 in 10 respondents were thriving in all five areas, while more than 1 in 6 were not thriving in any of those measures.

But the most interesting takeaway from the study reveals the choices students can make that correlate most highly with their chances for later success. It doesn't matter so much where you go to college -- whether it's public or private, highly selective or less so -- or what your major is.

Here's the really killer advice on how to do college, according to Brandon Busteed, executive director of Gallup's Education division.

These six choices will do the most to boost the odds of a great life after graduation, Busteed says:

1. Take an internship or job to apply what you are learning while in college.

This has to be a job or internship in which the student applies what he or she is learning. Less than a third of all college graduates report having this experience in school.

2. Be extremely involved in an extra-curricular organization.

Being deeply involved in one thing, whether it's athletics or volunteering or a social organization, is better than being lightly involved in many things, Busteed said.

"Don't build a resume of 92 things," he said. Find meaningful, long-term engagement in one of those things. About 20 percent of respondents said they did this.

3. Do a long-term project that takes a semester or more to complete.

"A lot of students run away from courses that involve long-term projects, like a thesis," Busteed said. It's more work. It's harder to do. But having something you work on over a long period of time teaches persistence and grit.

Among graduates, 32 percent said they did this during college.

4. Find a professor who makes you excited about learning.

The great professors are not a secret on campus. Take a class from one of them. Even if they teach a more advanced class or a beginning class outside your major, the benefits of learning from a great teacher extend beyond the subject matter. You're not going to remember all the content you learned in college, but you will remember a great professor.

In the survey, 63 percent said they had one professor like this.

5. Pick professors who care about students as people.

Any chance you have to pick your professors, choose the ones known to care about their students.

In the study, 27 percent of graduates said their professors, generally speaking, cared about them as a person.

6. Seek a mentor who will encourage you to follow your goals and dreams.

This doesn't have to be a formal counselor or faculty member. It could be a coach, a parent, a business professional or an upperclassman. Most young people don't appreciate how important a mentor is for their development, Busteed said.

Among respondents, 22 percent said they had a mentor.

How many in the study hit the nail on the head with all six of these? Just 3 percent.

Those who experienced three or more of these six things doubled their odds of being engaged in their work later, and they were three times as likely to be thriving in Gallup's measures of well-being.

Parents and students can get caught up in the hype and prestige surrounding the college experience. But these six factors may be far more important in achieving the ultimate goal of landing a great job and living a great life.

Busteed added one last piece of advice, documented by research to impact future well-being: Try to graduate with as little student debt as humanly possible.