As strange as it sounds, I had no idea how to feed my newborn. I couldn't figure out how to get my body parts to work as promised in the lactation class I took during pregnancy.

I was headed straight toward flunking that first big test of motherhood. You know, the one where a child's future health, cancer risk and IQ depend on the mom's mammary glands.

Overachiever that I am, I called in the experts. I hired a lactation consultant to help me figure out why my machinery was out of sync. I read an entire 300-page manual on nursing in the space of two days.

A dear friend saved me. She arrived at my home, watched my technique and gave me a pep talk. She told me not to give up.

I stuck with it and managed to nurse each of my babies for more than a year. But I couldn't understand why no one had told me the real skinny on breastfeeding: how difficult it can be.

Statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that in 2004, 70 percent of mothers reported breastfeeding their infants; the numbers drop to 36 percent at six months and 18 percent at 12 months. No disrespect to the nursing advocates and La Leche League, but maybe more moms would stick with it if they were forewarned that things may not go as smoothly as planned.

Granted, in my case, everything that could have gone wrong, did. I'm glad I was able to nurse for as long as I did, and I wish other moms would, too. But there are a few things I wish I had known before I became an independent milk producer.

For something as seemingly natural and instinctive as feeding and eating, many moms and babies don't get it right away. It's hard enough to handle swollen, sore body parts you no longer recognize, but it's even harder when you've got a screaming, hungry baby in your lap. To make matters worse, certain circumstances, such as getting a C-section, can delay your milk from coming in for days.

I know some women who view formula as Satan's brew. But some babies legitimately need a bit of the other milk, and nursing should not be a zero-sum game. My lactation consultant advised me to divide an ounce or two of formula over the course of a day's nursing, which came out to a few dribbles after each feeding. It worked, and pretty soon, the baby didn't need it.

Nearly every mom will wonder if her child is getting enough milk. Unlike bottles, with their reassuring measurements and marked ounces, breastfeeding requires trusting your body -- a concept foreign to many of us. I took my child to the pediatrician's office in between appointments just to weigh her. To boost my milk supply, I rented a hospital-grade pump to fool my body into making more milk. I was completely convinced I would have to return my daughter to the hospital because I had been unable to keep her properly fed.

She survived. I barely did.

In the beginning, nursing hurts. You can get chapped and cracked and start to bleed. I hurt so badly that my hands would shake. The books say this only happens if you are doing it terribly wrong, but even when you do it right, you may get an infection.

Other things can go wrong, too, such as plugged milk ducts, which sound just as dreadful as they are. Many doctors are useless when it comes to helping in these cases. I called the trusty La Leche women, who know this territory. I ended up sterilizing a needle and doing a minor bit of self-surgery at home. Yes, it hurt.

And, for me, pumping was harder than nursing. The electric pumps sound like ancient farm equipment, which hit a little too close to home in this situation. My body refused to work under these conditions. A friend recommended a European manual hand pump, which worked better but also nearly gave me carpal tunnel syndrome.

I remember walking out of a small private office at work with a bottle of pumped milk in hand, and a male colleague looked at the bottle, then at me and said, "Did you just do that?"

It was as if I had been busted stealing from the supply cabinet.

Modesty changes during those months or years of nursing. These parts of your body become so de-sexualized that you forget how the rest of society views naked breasts.

But even when you've weaned the baby, don't get too excited. Things don't spring back to shape. They deflate for most women.

So, what would make a mama persevere in the face of any -- or all -- of these challenges? You get to sustain a life you helped create. Your baby instantly learns your smell. The milk nourishes her mind and body, while the love and trust feeds your soul. Eventually, both of you figure out the harmony of mealtime.

It seems like as soon as nursing becomes second nature, your child is ready to wean. That may be the last peaceful meal you'll share for some time.

For the first time in American history, we are hearing people rightly question whether a college degree is worth it.

The short answer: It is.

We know that college graduates will earn, on average, about $1 million more over their lifetimes than high school graduates. But the better question is whether a college degree leads to a great life.

That's a longer answer.

The Great Jobs Great Lives Gallup-Purdue Index, released earlier this summer, sought to find answers to these questions by surveying more than 29,000 graduates. The survey assessed grads' well-being by measuring five elements: social support, financial stability, physical health, and senses of purpose and community. Just more than 1 in 10 respondents were thriving in all five areas, while more than 1 in 6 were not thriving in any of those measures.

But the most interesting takeaway from the study reveals the choices students can make that correlate most highly with their chances for later success. It doesn't matter so much where you go to college -- whether it's public or private, highly selective or less so -- or what your major is.

Here's the really killer advice on how to do college, according to Brandon Busteed, executive director of Gallup's Education division.

These six choices will do the most to boost the odds of a great life after graduation, Busteed says:

1. Take an internship or job to apply what you are learning while in college.

This has to be a job or internship in which the student applies what he or she is learning. Less than a third of all college graduates report having this experience in school.

2. Be extremely involved in an extra-curricular organization.

Being deeply involved in one thing, whether it's athletics or volunteering or a social organization, is better than being lightly involved in many things, Busteed said.

"Don't build a resume of 92 things," he said. Find meaningful, long-term engagement in one of those things. About 20 percent of respondents said they did this.

3. Do a long-term project that takes a semester or more to complete.

"A lot of students run away from courses that involve long-term projects, like a thesis," Busteed said. It's more work. It's harder to do. But having something you work on over a long period of time teaches persistence and grit.

Among graduates, 32 percent said they did this during college.

4. Find a professor who makes you excited about learning.

The great professors are not a secret on campus. Take a class from one of them. Even if they teach a more advanced class or a beginning class outside your major, the benefits of learning from a great teacher extend beyond the subject matter. You're not going to remember all the content you learned in college, but you will remember a great professor.

In the survey, 63 percent said they had one professor like this.

5. Pick professors who care about students as people.

Any chance you have to pick your professors, choose the ones known to care about their students.

In the study, 27 percent of graduates said their professors, generally speaking, cared about them as a person.

6. Seek a mentor who will encourage you to follow your goals and dreams.

This doesn't have to be a formal counselor or faculty member. It could be a coach, a parent, a business professional or an upperclassman. Most young people don't appreciate how important a mentor is for their development, Busteed said.

Among respondents, 22 percent said they had a mentor.

How many in the study hit the nail on the head with all six of these? Just 3 percent.

Those who experienced three or more of these six things doubled their odds of being engaged in their work later, and they were three times as likely to be thriving in Gallup's measures of well-being.

Parents and students can get caught up in the hype and prestige surrounding the college experience. But these six factors may be far more important in achieving the ultimate goal of landing a great job and living a great life.

Busteed added one last piece of advice, documented by research to impact future well-being: Try to graduate with as little student debt as humanly possible.

"In a time of destruction, create something." -- Maxine Hong Kingston

Before bombs started falling on Gaza or a massive ground invasion began, before rockets were launched at Israel, I had invited a handful of close Jewish friends to an iftar, the evening meal when Muslims break their fast during Ramadan.

It was partly in reciprocity for the Seder we shared at their house on Passover, but it was more because these friends mean so much to me. My former editor, Richard Weiss, and his wife, Sally Altman, brought their daughter with them. None of us have ever directly discussed the politics of the Middle East. But we have a relationship forged over years of work and mutual respect.

When I texted them to ask if they would be willing to pray with us for a few minutes, "especially with what's going on in the world right now," I could have guessed their response: "We'd be honored to."

I have felt emotionally paralyzed ever since this escalation began. Even though we are far removed from this crisis, it feels so real, so immediate because of the way we are bombarded with real-time graphic images, videos and stories that shred our hearts.

The New York Times reported that analysts said this latest flare-up has brought a new level of dehumanizing, hateful language to the political, digital and civic discourse. The angry language of annihilation from both sides can be frightening to read and hear.

Almost a decade ago, I overheard a group of older Jewish men at a suburban St. Louis grocery store, loudly agreeing with one another that all Palestinians were less than dogs and needed to be wiped out. At the time, I was rattled and quickly left the store. For years since then, I have chastised myself for not having the courage to say something polite to them, to perhaps challenge the narrative in their minds.

I took away this lesson from that moment: I have a voice within my own family and my own community. Since then, I have defended the Jewish faith and people whenever I hear a disparaging or generalizing remark. I have argued for the right of Israel to exist without being attacked. And, with some Jewish friends, I have tried to share with them the inhumanity of the conditions in the Occupied Territories.

These are not easy conversations. But it can be easy to dehumanize the "other" when we live in silos.

It's easier to retreat to the information enclave that reinforces our own beliefs. It's easier to disengage, to become numb to the violence that happens so far away.

I refuse to raise my children that way.

The challenge is to raise children aware of and interested in the world around them, instilled with a sense of justice and compassion, without becoming inured to violence.

I have had more than a casual interest in this troubled region of the world since I was a teenager. I studied international affairs, specifically the Middle East; lived in Cairo; visited Sinai, Israel and the West Bank. I have talked to Israeli and Palestinian journalists, trying to get a sense of whether this crisis could ever be resolved.

I have searched for hope in this hopeless situation: this deadly intersection of politics, power, economics and religion. In my darkest moments, I wonder if a peaceful, just coexistence is possible.

The horrific largest-scale crimes against humanity in my lifetime -- the genocides of the Bosnians and Rwandans, the slaughter of Syrians and the decades of oppression and killing in the Middle East -- bring up those questions of how people can brutally turn upon innocents: the civilians not engaged in any battle, except the one to survive.

Today's reality includes a live feed of raw, graphic images and videos of war. How do we cope with this onslaught of treacherous information?

It was important for me to pray with my Jewish friends that night. We passed out translations of the opening prayer we say in Arabic. We sat in a circle and spoke from our hearts.

From young child to grandparent, we asked for an end to suffering and injustice in all forms and gave thanks for our blessings.

My editor told a story. His wife shared a Hebrew prayer. My husband shared an Arabic one. Our friends' daughter, an inner-city teacher, prayed for equal educational opportunities for all children. My son asked for an end to wars.

I asked God to heal the brokenness in this world.

Sally came up to me later, as I was getting dinner ready, and hugged me.

In that moment, so connected with someone who may share a different perspective, I felt the strongest flicker of hope.