Q: My wife and I have been planning to start a family. It makes me nervous, though, and not just the thought of being responsible for a child. I've read about studies showing that parenting often leads to unhappiness. How would you respond to those reports?
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Jim: Honestly, such claims drive me crazy. It seems there's always a study "proving" that parents are miserable. When our staff examines these reports, what sticks out is that the researchers generally have a short-sighted definition of "happiness." And those studies are countered by many others showing how much joy and satisfaction children bring to parents' lives.
No doubt about it, parenthood can be exhausting. It's obviously a huge investment of time, energy and money. Couples with young children endure sleep deprivation, and a teenager's backtalk can grate on your last nerve. But there's a reason why most parents worldwide feel it's all worth it.
At a basic level, we understand that happiness isn't measured by the many things parents sacrifice. There's a much deeper satisfaction that comes from living to benefit others and from loving our children well. It's the joy you feel when your daughter's face lights up as she discovers something new, or the pride that fills your soul when you see your son graciously serving others. Those are the rewarding moments that make parental sacrifices worth it. And that's the transcendent love that motivates us to look beyond ourselves and become the people our children need us to be.
So, I would counsel you to make sure your definition of happiness includes a long-term perspective. And in that light, you'll see that bringing a new life into this world -- and then loving and guiding him or her along the way -- is one of the most rewarding things you could ever do.
Q: What's the latest scientific research on how screens affect teens' sleep?
Adam Holz, Director, Plugged In: We've long known that the "blue" ultraviolet light emitted from screens' pixels has the effect of tricking our brains into thinking it's still daytime -- even if it's late at night. Because of that, screentime experts advocate powering down those brain-awaking screens at least an hour before bed. But not all screentime, it seems, has the same impact on sleep.
New research from Penn State indicates different screen activities have varying effects on how much sleep adolescents get. Specifically, researchers found that "active" online activities pursued throughout the day (texting, instant messaging, video games) correlated with getting less sleep than "passive" screentime (such as watching television). In fact, each hour engaged in active screen usage links with falling asleep 11 to 30 minutes later.
Study coauthor Anne-Marie Chang, an associate professor of biobehavioral health at Penn State, speculated, "It could be that the more passive activities are less mentally stimulating than interactive activities, like texting and video game playing."
The study, which followed 475 kids, also quantified how much time they spent, on average, engaged in various digital pursuits: 1.3 hours daily playing video games; 1.7 hours daily watching TV or videos; and about 2 hours a day texting, instant messaging or emailing friends.
Chang recognizes that screen-based communication habits have become deeply wired into our digital culture, especially for tweens and teens -- which is why it's so hard to put a limit on them. But she adds, "If you're really looking out for an adolescent's health and well-being, then you might consider limiting the more interactive screen activities, especially in the hour before bed."
The screentime battle isn't going anywhere. But science continues to help us understand why that battle is important and how it may be impacting our kids in negative ways.
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
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