Q: My adult son is a successful businessman and I'm very proud of him. But I think he works too much and seems too busy for his own children (my grandkids). What can I do to help?
Jim: This scenario is not uncommon, unfortunately -- but it places you in a delicate position as a grandparent. On one hand, you may well be right in feeling that your son's priorities need some adjustment. On the other, don't use that issue to drive a wedge between your grandchildren and their dad (and mom).
For instance, you don't want to attend your grandchild's soccer game and say, "It's too bad your dad can't show up for your games, but I will always be here for you." That comment will only increase tension between the child and the parent.
Instead, work on being a bridge. Say something like, "I'm sorry your dad couldn't make it today. But I'm thrilled to be here to watch you, so I can tell him all about how well you played -- and I will." Supportive words like that will help protect their relationship until, hopefully, the parent comes around.
The bottom line is you love your grandkids and your child. As a grandparent you can play a subtle, but critical, role in their relationship by patiently sharing your wisdom and life experience. If your adult child still has some growing to do as a parent, strive to be a bridge between them and their kids. Over time, the insights you have developed throughout your own life can hopefully benefit all concerned -- and help to draw them closer together (and to you).
We have many resources and tips available for parents and grandparents at FocusOnTheFamily.com.
Q: How can I help my child make friends?
Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Friendship isn't child's play -- but many studies underscore that it forms the foundation of emotional well-being. While some kids make friends almost effortlessly, others require additional support. If your child is uncertain about befriending others, here are some simple ways you can help.
Empathize with their concerns and attentively listen as they share their emotions and insecurities. Make them feel that they're seen and heard. With that foundation, consider sharing your own experiences to offer guidance. Talk about the lessons you have learned through making friends and navigating challenging situations. Remember that your stories will instill hope, impart wisdom and strengthen the parent-child connection.
Encourage dialogue about friendship through thought-provoking questions. For example: Who is the friend you're most grateful for? What makes a healthy -- or unhealthy -- friend? Is there someone in your class you'd like to know better? What's the kindest thing someone has done for you lately?
Meanwhile, a few more tips to try:
-- Help develop social skills by exposing your child to safe, monitored social settings. Schedule playtime with friends to encourage self-expression, emotional exploration and the formation of identity. Engage in organized sports to instill rules, resilience, and teamwork.
-- Replace screen time with face-to-face activities. Encourage curiosity about life, others and themselves as they interact. Time with others encourages emotional, spiritual and mental well-being and helps kids learn the "back and forth" of conversation and relationships. Engaging in activities they enjoy fosters self-confidence, personal agency and a sense of belonging.
-- Demonstrate the value of getting involved as a household by investing time in shared experiences with other families or groups to build engagement, relationship and purpose.
No matter the age, nurturing healthy friendships is crucial. By instilling these fundamental skills, you enhance your child's lifelong well-being, joy, healthy identity and overall satisfaction.
For more helpful parenting resources, see FocusOnThefamily.com/Parenting.
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
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