Q: I've noticed that many -- most? -- people seem to have lost the ability to apologize when they say or do something rude or even offensive. Whatever happened to common courtesy? I'd be interested to hear what you think.

Jim: Two of the hardest words in the English language to say might be "I'm sorry." And that's regrettable -- because when they're spoken with sincerity, those words can bring healing to almost any relationship.

Notice I said "with sincerity." It's not difficult to speak the words, but it can be tough to truly mean them. That's probably because we understand that to apologize is to accept responsibility for ill-spoken words or bad behavior. It requires a heart posture of humility -- which can often be confused with giving someone else the upper hand over us. That's why some people view an apology as a weakness.

It's also why people all too often offer "apologies" that have been stripped of any real meaning. We minimize the severity of our actions or blame our behavior on others. We might say all the right words but dilute them with sarcasm or humor. Whatever the method, we all recognize it when we see it. The result is always the same: the appearance of an apology without the substance of one.

Perhaps it's a pervasive sense of entitlement, a growing lack of responsibility or the anonymity of the internet bleeding over into daily life. Regardless, this trend is a problem.

Far from being a weakness, a heartfelt apology requires strength because it demands sincerity and humility on behalf of the person offering it. And that's the secret. Mending a damaged relationship has little to do with the words we use to express our regret. The healing comes from the authenticity we pour into our words and actions.

Q: How do I show grace to my children even when they don't deserve it?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Kids will struggle in life at every age and stage. They'll make mistakes in judgment and decision-making (just like their parents). They'll hurt others and say inappropriate things (ditto). But grace gives children the freedom to make those mistakes and not crumble.

It's important to remember that just because your child has room to make mistakes doesn't mean there aren't consequences for their decisions. Showing grace to your kids doesn't mean you lower your standards or rules in your home.

Here are a few ways you can model grace to support your child's development.

Be on the same page.

Staying on the same page as your spouse with discipline is critical to showing grace in your home. When both parents agree on how to show grace, they communicate the power of unity and honesty. True grace offers discipline with respect and understanding for your child's feelings.

Rebuilding trust.

When you model grace, you help your child understand what's necessary to rebuild trust in their relationships. Children in grace-based homes don't feel the need to guard their feelings and emotions. In other words, they learn how to share their feelings without fear that they'll be ignored or attacked.

Give the gift.

Ultimately, grace is a gift. If you want to receive grace, you must also learn how to give it. When approaching your child with grace, start small. Focus on ways to show your kids grace with their low-stakes errors. When the more impactful mistakes arrive, you can rely on the habit of showing grace to your kids.

The presence of grace and forgiveness supports the building of a mentally healthy home. To learn more to benefit your family, go to FocusOnParenting.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My father walked out on our family when I was a little kid. Now that I'm an adult, I could really use his input -- but he's not here for me. How can I get past this pain?

Jim: First of all, if your mother is available, I'd suggest you tell her that you're having a hard time right now. She might still be dealing with her own stuff, but she could have important insights to share about your dad's background and behavior. That wouldn't excuse his leaving, but it might help explain it.

It could also be worth investigating to see if your mom, other relatives or family friends might have your father's contact information. If someone can give that to you, think about writing him a letter.

Take whatever time you need to think and pray about it, then write when you feel ready. Express your feelings openly and honestly. Ask any questions that are on your mind. Let him know what it would mean to you if he would respond. Obviously, there's no guarantee that he'll answer, but it's worth a try. And whether he even receives or reads the letter, the process of writing things out can be beneficial for you, too. Putting our deepest thoughts and emotions down on paper can be a healing experience.

Whatever happens, remember the real Easter message of renewal: God loves us so much that He went to immeasurable lengths to repair our fractured relationship with Him. He understands the pain you've experienced as a result of being abandoned by your earthly dad. Psalm 68:5 tells us that God is a "father to the fatherless." Turn to Him with your pain.

If you'd like to talk to someone about this, our staff counselors at Focus on the Family would be honored to take your call at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: My marriage is essentially dead after almost 18 years. My husband and I are both just done with it. However, we have agreed to stay together until our two children (ages 15 and 13) are both out of the house. That will at least be a positive for the kids, right?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Many couples on the verge of divorce say the same thing, and a number of studies would suggest they're right. BUT there's a whole lot more at stake here.

Children whose biological mother and father stay married are less likely to get involved in a variety of problematic behaviors. These kids are also more likely to complete college and to enjoy a successful marriage of their own. Those are the types of positive results we all want for our children. It all starts with keeping your marriage together.

However, an even better approach is to get your relationship on a path toward healing. Kids know if you're just going through the motions; "staying together" but fighting every night in front of them is counterproductive. Ongoing conflict in your home can unravel all the good you're trying to do on their behalf.

A healthy home environment is one where children see Mom and Dad working through your differences and living out the love that first drew you together. Don't "stay together for the kids' sake" only to stay miserable in your marriage. Get professional help for your problems and find some common ground.

If you and your husband are both willing to try, I strongly suggest one of our Hope Restored Marriage Intensives (HopeRestored.FocusOnTheFamily.com). At minimum, please call our counselors at the number above.

You and your spouse don't have to be strangers living together under the same roof. Do the whole family a favor -- stay together and get your marriage healthy.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My husband and I have faced a lot of challenges the past couple of years. We're trying to dream together about our future, but it's a struggle to see past our current situation. Do you have any suggestions?

Jim: It can (and should) be fun and energizing to think about the future. But there's a lot to be said for reflecting on your past, too – especially if you feel stuck.

Reminiscing is a valuable activity for couples to engage in from time to time. People form bonds from sharing experiences together, and that's especially true for husbands and wives. Your past is much more than a collection of random memories. It represents the journey you and your spouse have taken together, infusing your relationship with richness and meaning. And it's the launch pad for your next mission of discovery.

That's why reminiscing is helpful for those who have been married for a long time. Remembering the good times you've shared -- and the difficulties you've faced and overcome together -- is a healthy exercise. The reminder that you can make it by working as a team helps provide encouragement to hope for good times ahead.

But reminiscing is also for new couples. Obviously, newlyweds don't have many years' worth of shared experiences to reminisce about. But you do probably have a lot of good memories together from the months or years before you got engaged. Reflect on those times, even if they weren't that long ago.

Intimacy doesn't just magically develop in the newness of a relationship. It's cultivated over the miles you travel together through life. So, take time to share and enjoy memories about when you first met, your first date or other key stories from your relationship. These crucial building blocks form the foundation of your future.

Q: My daughter is obsessed with doing everything perfectly. How do I help her overcome her perfectionism?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: It can be so easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism. Appearing like you have it all together might feel good in the moment but can quickly lead to feeling drained emotionally and mentally.

For our kids, the pressure to be perfect comes from a few different directions. They might crave affirmation and approval from their friends. Or children can feel like they need to change who they are to be accepted by their family.

Here are a few ways that you can help your child overcome the pressure to be perfect.

1. Look at your relationships.

Combatting perfectionism in your home begins with examining the central relationships in your child's life, especially the ones they observe the most often. That's why it's important to look at yourself and your relationship with your spouse. Are either of you perfectionists? How might your perfectionist tendencies influence your children? What can you do to overcome these moments in your home?

2. Reframing failure.

In your child's mind, her failures can signal the end of the world. Failure is usually associated with absolutes like "never, always, and forever." But it's important that you model how failure can create opportunities for perseverance, as well as to show genuine love to others.

3. The role of love.

Kids are quick to notice their imperfections and shortcomings. But they're not as quick to focus on the positive parts of their personality and talents. Your commitment to showing genuine, unconditional love -- especially when your child feels imperfect -- is critical to help them learn how to resist allowing perfectionism to rule their life.

To explore more about overcoming perfectionism in your home, go to FocusOnParenting.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.