Q: Our daughter -- our only child -- will be graduating from high school this spring and moving to another state to attend college. I'm having a difficult time adjusting to the idea that our influence as parents is almost finished. Is that a normal reaction?

Jim: It's not uncommon for moms and dads to think their parenting responsibilities are over once their kids move out. But that's not necessarily the case. I'm learning myself that the empty-nest years can offer some of our greatest moments of influence as a parent -- if we're ready.

The common scenario is that as teenagers strive for more and more independence, they're less inclined to listen to their parents' instruction. But then they leave home and reality hits. The young man or woman is suddenly confronted with budget constraints, job challenges and relationship pressures -- but no parental safety net. Many young adults (finally) turn back to Mom and Dad for guidance. What that presents for you is an opportunity to share the wisdom your child may have dismissed in high school.

However, there's a catch. Your child's willingness to listen largely depends on your relationship. If you have established a thriving connection, great. But if there are some areas where you realize you can improve, be honest and humble about admitting that to your daughter and work to build a friendship as adults.

In part, that means allowing your daughter to find her way without constantly rushing in to offer your advice before she asks for it. Stay connected, encourage her and let her know you're available. Then be patient -- and wait. She may seek you out in time, and you can experience a whole new level of connection and influence.

Meanwhile, I'd recommend that both you and your daughter check out Focus on the Family's outreach to young adults -- see Boundless.org.

Q: My wife and I have a close-knit circle of friends who we've known for years. However, we're starting to feel that something's missing -- like we've gotten stagnant with our usual connections. Do you have any advice for expanding our horizons and seeking out new friendships?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: You may have heard the old saying that if a man and woman are married long enough, they start to look like one another. I wouldn't necessarily say that's true, but I do think that most of us often look like the other couples we hang out with.

Being friends with people just like you may feel more comfortable, but you're depriving your marriage of a great chance to grow. It's easy to relate to someone in the same stage of life as you, or who has common interests. You can share the highs and lows of parenting, empathize with each other about career challenges, or compare favorite movies, music, and hobbies.

But I'd humbly suggest another perspective. There's tremendous value in spending time with people who are different from you. An older couple can share their years of wisdom with a younger couple and help them gain some long-term stability through the ups and downs of marriage. Younger couples can bring a sense of energy to the friendship, helping the "seasoned veterans" feel younger and more revived in their own relationship. Friendships with folks from different cultural backgrounds can be truly transformational.

You can add a deeper layer of richness to your marriage by seeking connections with other couples who see life from a different angle. Their perspective can challenge you to grow. It just might create the spark you need to strengthen your marriage for years to come -- and hopefully you'll do the same for them.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Do you have any advice for coming alongside loved ones in difficult situations? A good friend was recently widowed, and my cousin was just diagnosed with a terminal illness. I want to encourage them but feel awkward about what to say.

Jim: You heart is clearly in the right place. I know it's challenging finding the right words in uncomfortable moments can be tricky.

There are several things to keep in mind about offering meaningful comfort to a friend or family member who's struggling. First of all, don't run away from whatever dark emotion they're feeling. Be willing to enter into it. Honestly, we're more apt to say something trite or insensitive when we're trying to avoid a person's pain.

Instead, connect with the person by saying, "I'm here for you" and then stay engaged. In many cases, you won't need to say anything at all; your simple presence will speak volumes. There may be moments or seasons along the way when everything in their life seems relatively "back to normal." That's when it's tempting to minimize the ongoing crisis the loved one is experiencing. But it's vitally important to keep saying and showing that you're committed to staying involved for what could still be a long and difficult journey ahead.

Another idea is to simply say, "I'm praying for you" but don't just say it, do it. When you don't have words, offer smiles, hugs and a listening ear.

It's not about finding a magic word that will take away someone's pain. Life doesn't work like that. Your role is to connect with them and let your consistent presence illustrate your love and care throughout their time of suffering.

If you'd like to reach out to our staff counselors and discuss these matters, I invite you to call 855-771-HELP (4357) or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: It seems like my kids never stop fighting. How do I keep sibling rivalries from taking over our home?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Sibling rivalries are nothing new and can be quite draining. If you've been in this position as a parent, I'm sure you've had to navigate different versions or perspectives of fights between siblings. "He did this!" "But she did that!"

When siblings argue, it puts you in a tough spot. Do you become a referee, a judge or a guide? Different reasons for sibling fights can include insecurities, selfishness, jealousy, feeling left out. Your children need your guidance to learn how to handle sibling fights. Here is a quick tip I have used with my own family called the $1 Technique.

The way it works is that when your children are arguing, you set a timer for 5 minutes. If they are unable to resolve the conflict on their own by the time the timer stops, they have chosen to hire you for $1 per minute to help them resolve it. And the one that is the most inflexible in resolving the conflict is the one responsible for the bill.

One of the most powerful questions to teach your kids to ask themselves is: "Is there another way to look at this?" Teaching your child how to build a flexible mind will grow their levels of humility, while also helping them reach the goal of resolving the conflict within 5 minutes.

Teach them how to take mental timeouts to figure out what's making their emotions bubble. Ask them, "What do you think it's like to try to resolve things with you?"

Healthy boundaries and adaptability can bring stability and flexibility to your home. To learn more about resolving sibling rivalries, go to FocusOnParenting.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I can't believe how busy our family has become; we all seem to be going different directions at once. We're trying to make changes, but meanwhile, I'm concerned about staying connected with our children in what little "free time" we have. Help!

Jim: Parenting is a challenging endeavor, so it's easy to let the serious business fill every open space. But sometimes you just have to take time to be playful.

Let me share a personal example. When my sons were younger, I came home from work one day just as both boys came into the house from the backyard. Troy was limping, and Trent had a bruise on his chin, but they were both laughing like crazy. Naturally, I asked what happened. Troy said, "Mom got on the trampoline with us and she landed on my ankle." Trent chimed in: "Her knee smacked me right in the jaw."

Now, that playtime may not have gone perfectly, but it did have a positive outcome. First, it was a moment we all still laugh about. But far more importantly, Jean's playfulness drew the boys closer to her. The sore jaw and bum ankle are long forgotten, but my now-adult boys will always remember their mom taking time out of her busy schedule to play with them.

I think that's a great reminder for every parent. The pressures of adult life can make us a little too serious sometimes. Be playful. Play board games, throw the ball around, wrestle on the floor. Find something your children enjoy doing and join them. It'll deepen your relationship with them, and they'll see you as more than a disciplinarian or someone who cooks dinner and does the laundry. They'll identify you as someone who really enjoys spending time with them whenever you can. And to a child, that equals feeling loved.

Q: I've been with my girlfriend for more than two years. I love her and want to move toward marriage. She says she loves me, too, but she wants the freedom to see other guys. It's frustrating -- should I just move on?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: While the emotions you're wrestling are challenging, your decision really hinges on what you ultimately want. If you're at a place where you truly desire and are eager to be married, you may need to start looking elsewhere. Despite what we hear from movies or common romantic thought -- and contrary to what you're probably feeling -- there's no such thing as "the only one" when it comes to choosing a life mate. But if you're sold on this girl and willing to be patient, you can see if her heart eventually turns.

Either way, you might consider adjusting your current pattern of interacting with her. Any behavior on your part that suggests you're just hanging around waiting for her to see the light is counterproductive. A man who projects a humble sense of confidence, self-respect and independence is attractive and interesting to a woman. But a guy who acts like his life is meaningless without her is usually a major turnoff.

For starters, make it a point to work on self-improvement by pursuing activities that grow your mind and character -- reading good books, serving others, etc. Look for other quality women whose company you enjoy and spend time with them. You might be surprised what develops. You'd also be well-served to not be so available to the woman in question. There's a real chance that subconsciously she's taken your fondness for granted; a noticeable shift in your behavior just may cause her to reconsider.

We have a unique online resource for 20- and 30-somethings looking to handle life and relationships well; see Boundless.org.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.