Q: My aging father has always been a proud man. He needs care now, and my wife and I are more than willing to take on that responsibility. But we don't want to crush his spirit. Do you have any advice?

Jim: Researchers say that most older people measure their personal worth by how well they meet three goals: 1) dependability; 2) ability to maintain close family ties; and 3) self-sufficiency. Aging individuals often don't want to reach out for assistance, have hired help in their homes or rely on government programs. They desire to do things independently to keep proving themselves responsible and dependable.

The key to honoring aging loved ones is encouraging them in these areas however possible. Here are some suggestions:

Recognize successes and skills. Honoring your father involves acknowledging him not only for who he is, but also for his abilities, talents and past achievements.

Reminisce. Help your aging loved one capture his personal history and pass it along to children and grandchildren. Preserve his memories and current interactions with family through video, photos and written accounts.

Reinvent memories. Celebrate everything! Affirmations of love and life remind elderly people how much they are appreciated.

Remember old friends -- and make new ones. Friendships keep people engaged while helping to process loss and combat feeling of worthlessness or depression. Do everything you can to facilitate your dad's access to friends by phone, email, "snail" mail and regular visits.

Renew energy with regular exercise. Walking, swimming and other light exercise improves circulation and keeps endorphins -- the "feel-good hormones" -- flowing through the blood system.

Seek opportunities for senior volunteers. Many nonprofit organizations don't just provide a place for seniors to volunteer -- they actively need volunteer assistance to carry out their mission.

Encourage latent talents. If possible, nudge your father toward developing hobbies like painting, writing, drawing, woodworking or even computers. Probe his interests until you see his eyes light up -- then find ways to equip and help him pursue those ideas.

Q: I'm a single mother with four children. My kids need a dad and I'd love to have a husband again. I think I'm ready to start dating -- but I'm terrified that another marriage will crash like my last one. Help!

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: I feel for you, and I've heard these same thoughts from many single moms. Finding the right husband and a good father for your kids could mean a whole new future for all of you. But the wrong person could make the challenges you're facing even worse.

With that in mind, I'd suggest moving forward very carefully. Dating when you have children can be complicated. Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment, so it's never something to rush into. Let relationships develop naturally. Ask your friends and family to watch closely and help you recognize potential character flaws about the men you date that you might not otherwise see.

Also, the setting matters. At the risk of sounding patronizing, you're more likely to meet a suitable person at church rather than in a bar.

Finally, remember that it's very tough for children when a parent cycles through one relationship after another. So, if you choose to date, be careful to protect your children's hearts. If possible, get to know the man well before introducing the kids. If you do get married someday, he will be committing not only to you but also to your children. It's worth the investment of going slow to find someone who will treat them -- and you -- with the love and respect you all deserve.

We have plenty of resources for single parents, and for relationships in general, at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I'm a newly single parent with three kids and financial concerns. I could use some helpful insights -- any thoughts?

Jim: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You'll need to consider three key questions: 1) What do I need to do and when? 2) How can I meet my needs and my children's needs? 3) Most importantly, whom can I trust for advice?

Newly single adults often make major changes -- financial and otherwise -- much too quickly out of insecurity. Whether you're divorced or widowed, I suggest you seek out a personal adviser who you can trust to have your best interests at heart. This individual doesn't necessarily need to be a professional financial expert. Nor do they have to be a family member or friend. You can find someone to help with money management later; what you're really looking for right now is somebody with experience and wisdom.

It's possible that another widowed or divorced person might turn out to be the best candidate for the role. If nothing else, they could be in a position to direct you to other helpers. You might also ask your pastor for recommendations. And it could be a very good idea to enlist more than one personal adviser.

Whatever you do, remember that you're still the decision maker. You cannot abdicate that responsibility -- ultimately, it's up to you to sift out bad advice from the good. So, seek out the best counsel you can find.

Finally, whether a person loses a spouse through divorce or death, grief can impair one's ability to make prudent decisions -- especially within the first year following the loss. If possible, defer major decisions for the first 12 months or so.

Our staff counselors would be happy to offer encouragement and insight. I invite you to call 855-771-HELP (4357) for a free consultation.

Q: We try to start new chores and rules in the new year, but nothing seems to stick. How do I help my kids follow through?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: For many families, the beginning of the new year renews a common parenting struggle: The Chore Wars. Each family is unique, especially when it comes to teaching responsibility through chores.

An important factor in a child's ability to successfully complete chores is his or her personality. As a family therapist I've developed my own distinct labels to describe the four major personality types in society: Leaders, Talkers, Thinkers and Peacemakers.

Here are some tips for working with each personality type:

Leaders like to be in charge, so delegate and give them opportunities to lead in conquering chores as a family. Demonstrate to your leader child how they can be patient with tasks and work together with their siblings.

Talkers love socializing or listening to music while completing a task. They can help make chore time fun for the whole family. Encourage your talker child to experiment with organization or consistency using a chore chart.

Thinkers appreciate structure, organization and completing tasks in ways that make sense. They can help create charts and structured plans to get chores done. Help your thinker child see that imperfection is OK and encourage them to work together to get things done.

Peacemakers usually take their time and prioritize relationships over following through with tasks. Help them see that chores are a way to love others. Have them plan a relational activity you can do together once the chores are done. Your peacemaker child might tend to procrastinate, so help them take initiative with their chores.

To learn more about teaching your kids how to take responsibility with chores this year -- and to access a handy personality quiz -- go to FocusOnParenting.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I'm finally at the point where I have to admit that my husband appears to have a compulsive gambling problem. It used to just be the occasional card game with the guys, but these days he has multiple online accounts and places bets each week on more sports contests than I can even follow. Do you have any insights?

Jim: Unfortunately, in the past few years gambling has come right out into the mainstream. It's no longer limited to casinos or hidden websites -- the legalization of gambling in various forms (especially sports wagering) means that you basically can't escape television commercials or social media ads touting how easy it is to gamble. In my opinion, it's part of a much larger problem in our society as vices become normalized.

Here's my take. Objective research has long shown that gambling is an especially dangerous practice with the serious potential for developing into a damaging addiction. Addictions by nature are progressive in nature; there's a direct line that can (and very often does) stretch from availability to addiction.

In other words, the easier it is to access something "on demand," the more likely for that thing to become addictive. In this case, that can play out as a sports fan checking his phone app and finding that he's several hundred dollars in the hole after a quick series of impulsive one-touch prop bets while hanging out with his buddies.

The truth is that gambling isn't as innocuous as many seem to suppose. It's actually predicated on the losses, pain and suffering of others. For one person to win at gambling, others must lose. And often the biggest losers are the gambler's closest loved ones. Families touched by a gambling addiction are at increased risk for such negative outcomes as divorce, bankruptcy, child abuse, domestic violence, crime and suicide. Gambling also exploits and preys upon the desperation of the poor. The National Gambling Impact Study Commission found that those with incomes of less than $10,000 spend more on lottery tickets than any other group, while high school dropouts spend four times as much as college graduates.

Meanwhile, there's one ironclad rule to gambling: the house (the gambling institution) ultimately comes out on top.

If your husband is a compulsive gambler, as you suspect, then it's only a matter of time before his escalating condition lands him in some serious trouble. He may very well deny that there's a problem. Dr. Robert Custer, a trailblazer in the field of gambling diagnosis and treatment, says that denial, in the psychiatric context, "means refusing to acknowledge something to oneself, getting oneself to actually believe that there is no danger at all." It's a very common mindset among those who struggle with an addiction to gambling.

That's why it's critical to confront the issue head-on. Urge your husband to get some kind of professional help. If he's unwilling to listen, see if you can enlist the help of an objective third party -- a pastor, a relative or a male friend who agrees with your assessment of the situation and who would be willing to come alongside you in order to strengthen your case.

If all else fails, try to pull together a group of friends and supporters who can help you stage a formal intervention. You may want to include a licensed counselor or therapist who specializes in this kind of activity. Overcoming addiction of any kind is a long process that requires trained guidance. Our counseling department can help direct you to qualified individuals all over the country; call 855-771-HELP (4357) or see FocusOnTheFamily.com. I wish you the best.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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