Q: I'm married for the second time, with a total of four children -- two from my first marriage and two from this one. Unfortunately, my wife clearly favors her own kids over my two older ones, and she's become unfairly critical and overbearing. Is this unusual in blended families? What can I do about it?

Jim: Many stepfamilies deal with divided loyalties and conflicts. In some ways it's only natural for a biological parent to feel protective of his or her offspring. But while the problem is common, it's not necessarily easy to resolve. It requires cooperation and deliberate hard work on the part of everyone concerned.

In view of the circumstances, I strongly recommend that you and your wife seek professional help ASAP from a trained therapist who is skilled in working with stepfamilies. Your older children have already been impacted by the breakup of your first marriage. The last thing they need is additional stress and pressure on the home front.

Perhaps the most important goal to set for therapy will be that of strengthening your marriage. In any family, whether intact or blended, the marital relationship needs to take priority. It's fairly apparent that you and your wife aren't on the same page -- at least where the kids are concerned -- and if you can't find a way to heal this rift, your children are ultimately going to suffer. You need to invest time and energy into getting your "couple" relationship back on track, while clarifying the complex roles and expectations within your blended family.

Start by calling our counseling department for a free consultation; the number is 855-771-HELP (4357). Our counselor will be able to give you some initial feedback and then provide you with a list of licensed marriage and family specialists in your local area for long-term assistance.

Q: I have a fairly sarcastic sense of humor -- it's what I grew up with and how I express myself. It's all a joke and I don't mean any harm by it. But my wife says this is going to be damaging to our kids, especially as they move into the teen years. What do you think?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: I'd tend to agree with your wife and say, "Be careful." By definition, sarcasm can be funny but also caustic -- i.e., burning and corrosive. As with any caustic substance, it must be used sparingly and judiciously to avoid destructive results.

The risk is especially high when you're dealing with teenagers. Sarcasm can lead to hurt feelings (especially if your child has a sensitive personality), and a teen's world is already filled with sources of potential wounds at school, on the playing field and especially through social media. Home should be a refuge from that kind of treatment -- a safe haven from hurt and a place to be encouraged and built up.

Occasional playful sarcasm is OK if you maintain boundaries. Give your children the right to tell you when it bothers them. If they ask you to stop, respect their wishes. And don't be too proud to apologize, even if it seems like no big deal to you. Parenting is just as much about your own growth as it is about your children's.

Finally, remember that you reap what you sow. You may call your "style" sarcastic, but when the tables are turned and it comes back at you from your teen, you'll probably call it "disrespectful" behavior. Mutual respect is critical in any relationship, and especially between parents and kids. It goes both ways, but modeling that respect starts with you. And if it's time for self-assessment and change -- your whole family will benefit.

For more helpful tips, see FocusOnTheFamily.com/parenting.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I don't usually care for labels, but I think it would be fair to call my husband a "workaholic." He works constantly and spends very little time with our children and me. When I approach him about it, he simply says, "Things will be better soon." Do you have any suggestions?

Jim: Men are generally wired to be protectors and providers. But too many of us skew that by defining our identity and personal worth in terms of what we do for a living and how well we do it -- rather than in terms of who we are and how we're connected to God, our families and other people.

Here's an approach you might want to try. Plan a dinner out with your husband on a weekend. Get a babysitter if necessary and go out to a nice restaurant. Put aside your resentment and frustration and tell him how much you love him and appreciate his diligence, work ethic and dedication to his role as family provider. At the same time, be honest with him and let him know that his job seems to be taking precedence over his family. Tell him you value his input and involvement as a father. Then ask him if he'd be willing to examine his schedule and make some changes.

If you can deliver this message in a spirit of love and concern rather than bitterness and anger, you may be surprised at how positively your husband responds. If, on the other hand, he reacts defensively and denies there's a problem, it may be time to seek professional assistance. I'd invite you to call our staff counselors at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: Greg, I've heard relationship experts like you hammer on the idea that "healthy communication is vital to a strong marriage." It sounds so involved. My wife and I talk all the time; what's the big deal?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Communication is a big deal because it's the primary way to achieve intimacy. And without intimacy, it's impossible to have a healthy marriage.

There are five basic levels of communication, and each one is important:

Level 1 = Clichés. These are exchanges like "How are you doing?" This common courtesy can help maintain a positive interactive tone.

Level 2 = Exchanging facts and information. This is absolutely necessary for effective everyday function of family life.

Level 3 = Sharing Opinions. This is where we start to discover what another person thinks -- and where conflict can occur. When we express our thoughts, we make ourselves more vulnerable.

Level 4 = Sharing Feelings. Sharing feelings creates opportunities to be heard and understood and offers a glimpse into our true identities. In a healthy marriage, feelings are respected and can be openly expressed based on an established foundation of trust and safety.

Level 5 = Sharing Needs. This is the deepest level of communication, requiring the most vulnerability and trust. An example would be, "I had a horrible day at work and need some encouragement." When we reach this level, we feel secure, accepted and confident our spouse will reassure, rather than reject us.

Unfortunately, for many of us the fast pace of life can keep us stuck in the first two or three levels. If that's true for your marriage, commit to taking steps of growth in this area. Find a time and place that you both are available and typically open to deeper conversation. Admittedly, this may take some getting used to. But if you keep at it, you'll create an environment of refuge and comfort in your marriage -- and deepen the trust and security in your relationship.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My husband and I decided to emphasize a healthier lifestyle this year, especially since we have young children and want to establish good habits. But just a few weeks in we're finding that it's a lot harder than we expected. Do you have any helpful tips?

Jim: It's a good sign that you're even thinking in these terms; intentionality is an important and often overlooked ingredient of good health. There are several questions to consider on a regular basis that will help you stay on track:

How's your fuel? When planning your family's menu, consider the number of calories you're each consuming every day; the actual nutrients in what you eat; the daily proportions of protein, fat and carbohydrates; sufficient amounts of fruits and vegetables; and the importance of eating breakfast.

Are you carrying too much -- or too little -- fat storage? The most common and serious nutritional problem in our country is our tendency to consume too much food. But some people struggle with eating disorders that compel them to eat very little. Work with your family physician to avoid extremes.

Do you all exercise regularly? If possible, everyone in the house should be doing some kind of physical activity at least five days a week.

How's your emotional health? Do mom and dad maintain work-life balance? Are your relationships healthy or toxic? Do you feel anxious, depressed or stressed out much of the time? Seek professional help if necessary.

How's your spiritual health? A strong personal faith that guides your outlook on life, directs your daily choices and brings you comfort, peace and joy can have a measurable impact on your physical health.

How's your marriage? A close, intimate relationship between Mom and Dad is crucial, because a strong marriage is the nucleus of a healthy home.

Are you all getting enough sleep? We spend roughly a third of our life sleeping, and the quality of the sleep we get is a vital component of good health.

Q: I have two daughters, ages 10 and 12. They soak up new "friendships" like sponges, seemingly without any discernment or intentionality. Is this normal for young girls? Should I be concerned?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: What you're describing is perfectly normal. Tweens and teens (both boys and girls) increasingly lean into peer friendships for a sense of belongingness, competence and feelings of independence as they grow.

I'd advise you to look for opportunities to help your daughters cultivate these relational tendencies in positive ways:

Teach them empathy and practical ways to be kind, inclusive and welcoming to those who aren't part of their immediate circle of friends.

Emphasize the Golden Rule -- "Treat others the way you want to be treated." This helps kids develop the perspective of seeing from another person's point of view and experience.

Impress upon them the importance of keeping a compassionate eye out for girls who have been excluded or marginalized by the "popular crowd."

Remind them that thoughtful, caring people are nicer to be around -- so they should be thoughtful and caring while seeking friends who are.

Meanwhile, your daughters should recognize the hurtfulness of cliques and the problematic character traits they tend to foster. There's nothing wrong with having a group of special friends, but it shouldn't be allowed to become an elite and impenetrable "inner circle." As long as it remains open to outsiders and newcomers, a group of this kind can provide girls with lots of opportunities for healthy and enriching social interaction.

Finally, remember that the parent-child relationship is still the most foundational connection in a young person's development. So stay available to help your kids work through questions they have as they learn to cultivate friendships.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.