Q: I know it may be wishful thinking, but I am SO ready for the calendar to change and put this year in the past. At the same time, I'm worried about how the stress of 2020 has affected me. Do you have any advice for handling whatever comes in 2021?

Jim: We're all running as fast as we can, and it's not easy to slow down. Pandemic aside, society rewards us for being on the go all day, every day. Working a job, building a strong marriage and raising a family are hard work. Some days keeping up with all that life demands of us is the best we can do.

A season of busyness is one thing. But it's no way to live. We miss out on the richness of the world around us when we're overcommitted and stressed out. The problem isn't just that we have busy schedules -- it's that we have busy hearts and busy minds. We're so anxious and stressed out that we never notice the beauty or the fragrance of life. A hectic pace may seem good for your bank account, but rest and quiet are good for your soul.

That's why sometimes the best thing to do is -- nothing at all. Peace and quiet aren't very easy to come by when you're busy. But they're worth pursuing. It's in silence that honest thoughts have a chance to rise to the surface and be heard. That's why you have "eureka" moments when you're lying in bed at night or driving alone. Ideas have a chance to percolate and show up unexpectedly when your mind is free to wander.

Get away from technology whenever you can. Take a stroll through the neighborhood. Be intentional about creating opportunities to enjoy some peace and quiet. Because sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all.

Q: I'm a young dad who's struggling to be a good husband and father. But no matter what I do, my wife tells me I'm not pulling my weight. If you ask me, I'm trying -- I play with the kids when I can. But she expects me to do things I don't know how to do and never thought of doing -- like getting meals and changing diapers. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: As in every area of married life, the key is open communication. Many couples never talk to each other about their parenting expectations -- or the fears and struggles they're facing as they do their best to care for a child.

You and your wife need to sit down and discuss this issue calmly and rationally. Get a babysitter and go out for the evening, away from the kids and the pressures of household chores. Share dinner together at a nice restaurant. When you're both relaxed, express your frustrations respectfully but candidly. At the same time, let her know that you're eager and willing to learn what needs to be done at home and with your children so that you can jump in and do those tasks when you see they're needed. If you're unsure how do certain things, ask her to help you out with some basic training and instruction. She'll probably appreciate this more than you realize.

Whatever approach you take, it's vital that you and your wife learn how to function as a team. Babies thrive best with the love and care of both parents. Child-care skills can be learned -- and you might just find it opens up a whole new world of connection with your kids AND your wife.

Our staff counselors would love to help you unpack this further; call 855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I think that "peace on earth" is completely unrealistic. Just look around us! This world is falling apart and all people do is viciously fight with each other. It doesn't matter if it's nation against nation, race vs. race, political parties or next-door neighbors -- you'll never convince me that "goodwill among men" is possible. So pardon me if I'm feeling a bit cynical about Christmas and all the feel-good messaging. Do you really believe all that?

Jim: Well, if we're left to our own human devices, I might agree with you -- at least to a point. There's plenty of evidence to show that mankind's default behavior is self-centered conflict. That's because every person, no matter how good we might appear to be on the outside, was born with something rotten at our core. Regardless of what moral standard you want to apply, all of us fall short on our own. We see it in the way we treat each other -- and if we're really honest with ourselves, we see it in our own eyes when we look in the mirror.

We've all observed that tendency clearly this past year. You're right: It's easy to become cynical about people when every headline, news clip or social media post just seems to add to the chaos and conflict. And I think the cynicism takes us further into the darkness. As a result, most of us -- at some level -- find ourselves living in fear of some sort.

But here's the thing: I believe we were created for something different. We're NOT able to live the way we should -- and treat each other as we all know we ought -- without a soul cleansing that has to come from a source that's bigger than we are. We can't fix ourselves.

We need to look at the context for the heavenly choir of angels singing "peace on earth, goodwill among men." The setup was the angelic spokesman saying: "a Savior is born." A Savior is necessary because we need saving -- from ourselves and the evil inside us.

The story of Christmas isn't about a small group of humans getting warm fuzzies by looking at a newborn, therefore feeling better about themselves and liking other people just a bit more. It's about the Creator of the universe looking down on our broken world, seeing what a mess we've made of it and stepping down INTO the mess to fix it by fixing us. The solution is to recognize and acknowledge who the baby in the manger actually is – and then turning over all of our cares and fears and failures to him.

So, yes -- I really DO believe the Christmas narrative, but it's more than just what happened one night in Bethlehem. It's about the baby, who he grew up to be, what he did to save us and the change he can make in human hearts. And I believe that those of us who accept that message can experience changed hearts so that we CAN live in peace.

Admittedly, not everyone will reciprocate. But when we see every human being as equally valuable, specially created in the image of the One who designs us as unique individuals, it changes our perspective. And then, even if we don't agree on everything -- or even most things -- we can respect each other and come closer to living in peace.

If you want to know more, visit us at FocusOnTheFamily.com. Meanwhile, I pray that you and your loved ones experience the peace that comes from knowing the Savior born that night in Bethlehem. Merry Christmas to you.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: This is supposed to be the "feel good" season of the year. But to me it's always just extra stressful for the whole family. How can we change that pattern?

Jim: For most people, the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas are some of the busiest of the year. That's when the house gets decorated, the Christmas tree goes up, the shopping has to be done and (at least in "normal" years) there can be all manner of social obligations.

If we're not careful, the Christmas season can race by in a blur. And when it's all said and done, we'll have nothing to show for it. No joy. No special memories. Just stress and credit card bills. So here are a few ideas to put the Christmas spirit back into the season.

First, go slower. I admit, this isn't an easy one. But try to live in the moment. Stop what you're doing every so often and take in the decorations and Christmas music. Let the season -- and the reason for it -- get hold of you.

Second, do less. This one is also a challenge. There's a lot to be done this time of year. But maybe some of it isn't necessary. Cut back where you can.

Finally, create more memories. Let's face it, you probably won't remember a single present you'll get this year. What you WILL remember are the special times you spent with your spouse, your children and extended family. Make the most of those times.

Christmas is all in the heart. The decorations are great, and the gifts are fun, but they're not what make Christmas special. The memories we create are what will last.

Q: We're conflicted about Christmas presents this year. After everything that we've been through as a nation and a family, we feel like we should be extra generous to our kids. But we also can't afford to go overboard. What are your thoughts?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Kids around the world love to receive gifts. But you don't have to feel the need to buy things in order to make your children feel happy. Help them experience the gift and joy of healthy limits, contentment and gratitude this year.

According to a study by the University of Toledo, less is more. Too many toys can shorten a child's attention span and stifle their imagination. Kids who were given fewer toys to play with were more creative, more focused and played with each toy longer. Children who were given a lot of toys were more easily distracted. They played with each toy only for a short time, then tossed it aside for another one.

Research is backing up what parents have known for generations: Too much of anything is bad for kids. Playtime is no exception. It's just one important ingredient in developing a child's imagination and coordination.

If you've got toddlers and a playroom filled with toys, keep some in a storage bin. Allow them to play with fewer toys at a time. And rotate in new toys once in a while.

If your children are old enough for technology, you face the same issue: Too much is never good. Monitor their screen time and set reasonable limits. (Check out the "Technology Management" section at FocusOnTheFamily.com/parenting).

Those are good ideas any time of year, but your child gets an additional benefit at Christmastime. It gives them an opportunity to experience the true meaning of Christmas. The joy in the reason for the season isn't something you find under a mountain of toys. As Jim said in his answer above, it's found in our hearts through faith, love and family.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.