Q: This social distancing thing has dragged out SO long; just when we think we're easing back to a routine, something else sets us back. As a family, we've done all the virtual alternatives and time fillers until we're sick of it (and each other). Do you have any advice?

Jim: We're all hoping for a return to normal -- whatever "normal" will look like going forward. But I've got three simple ideas for you to consider doing now, and also moving forward.

First, eat together. For most of us, the usual tendency -- and especially in times like this -- is to eat in front of each other while watching television or using our phones. As often as you can, sit down and connect over a meal. Family dinners aren't about the food; they're about the connections that take place around the table. Don't feel pressured to fix a gourmet meal every night. The main thing is to look each other in the eyes and to connect.

The second idea is to look back and reminisce a little. Pull out the old photos and videos. Tell your kids stories about their childhoods and yours. Family history connects your children to something beyond themselves and deepens their bond with you.

Finally, look ahead. Crises have a way of resetting our priorities or giving us a new perspective on things. Is there something that you've wanted to do for years -- a big goal you've put off? Maybe now is the time to go for it. And if you're going right back to what you were doing before, it's healthy to look forward. Start planning now for everything you hope to do as life opens up again.

For more ideas to help your family thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: How can I help my children manage feelings of anxiety?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Anxious feelings are something all kids must learn to navigate. To help them, you should know that:

Anxious feelings rely on how we interpret reality.

They occur automatically and often unexpectedly.

They can be created by experiences, biology, perceptions and overall personality.

As we mature and get older, the brain either adapts and learns to manage anxious feelings or becomes more and more controlled by them.

Feelings provide important input for thoughts and decisions, but usually don't deliver enough information to produce an appropriate response. You have to learn to interpret your experiences and thoughts properly.

For example, if a child is very anxious about being rejected, she is most likely expecting -- and is hypersensitive to -- signs of rejection. Her thoughts ("I'm not good enough") can produce anxious feelings when she's with others. That insecurity can be self-fulfilling -- until she learns that her value isn't dependent on other people's input, and she can confidently thrive in her unique giftings.

Thoughts and feelings dance together. Help your kids see the "thought themes" that anxious feelings can create, and what thoughts may be creating their anxious feelings. Help your child learn how to bring truth to their thoughts. For example, some kids are afraid of the dark, but darkness doesn't necessarily mean danger.

Teach your children how to know and communicate their limits. Kids shouldn't be forced to satisfy competing anxious feelings. For instance, some children may be afraid of heights, but may also be anxious about looking weak when their friends are climbing higher. Kids can learn to stretch their boundaries in healthy ways and develop limits that are based on freedom -- freedom from needing to impress or gain acceptance, as well as freedom from avoiding everything that sparks anxious feelings.

We have plenty of practical resources at FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I had a lot of goals for this year. But ... well, 2020! I'm really discouraged. Where does a person find the strength to keep going?

Jim: Here's one of the secrets to success when life gets tough -- just get to the next tree.

There's a military training school in Vermont that puts soldiers through some of the most unbelievable physical and emotional tests you can imagine. The challenge that produces the highest dropout rate is a rigorous hike up a snow-packed mountain with heavy rucksacks on their backs. The troops aren't given any special equipment. Their only tool for success is determination.

The soldiers trudge up the hill through knee-deep snow, and within 100 yards, some of them find the struggle to be too much. That's when the instructor tells the troops, "If you want to fail, focus on the top of the mountain. If you want to succeed, just get to the next tree. Then the next one. Do that again and again until you reach the top of the mountain."

That's how you reach a big goal. You pursue one small goal at a time. You write a book one word at a time. You stay sober one day at a time. You restore your marriage one counseling session at a time. Some days "the next tree" may be getting through this day, this hour, even this prayer, with hope.

That's how it is when you're struggling. Things are so tough you feel like you're standing at the bottom of a mountain and staring at the very top. This year of all years, for so many of us, the climb might even seem impossible. But you can make it to the top. Just get to that next tree.

We have loads of tips and resources to help -- including trained professional counselors who can come alongside you if need be -- at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: Greg, I'm a simple guy. So, I need one simple idea that will help us build a great marriage. What do you say?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Well, there are several things I could suggest, like praying together. But I think I'll toss this one out: Laugh together.

Studies show that couples who laugh together are healthier, happier and more connected. Even little giggles between you and your spouse create relational bonds that draw you closer together. That's because laughter is a powerful connecter.

In fact, laughter is only partially about humor -- it's mostly about connection. Studies show that we laugh more when we're with someone than when we're alone.

My wife, Erin, and I have discovered that to be true. As anyone who knows us can attest, some of our greatest memories involve us laughing together. Occasionally -- OK, often -- it's been tough to stop. We've laughed so hard for so long that we started laughing at each other's laughing.

So, Simple Guy, there you go: Laugh. And the more the better. A friend of mine, author Ted Cunningham, encourages couples to strive for a laughter-to-conflict ratio of 100 to 1. That sounds like a lot -- and it is! -- but it's the heart behind the numbers that counts. The important thing is that you want your marriage to have as many points of connection as possible. And laughter is a great one.

By the way, if you're worried that you have to be a comedian to fill your marriage with laughter, don't sweat it. The point isn't about telling jokes to one another. It's about finding the humor in everyday life. It's about enjoying your life as much as possible -- together -- with smiles on your faces.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I'm a mom. And a wife. And I work full-time. I love my family and I love being busy. But I feel a little ... resentful, I guess, and afraid that I'm going to fail somehow. What can I do?

Jim: For most moms, the job description seems to be something like this: You hit the floor running in the morning, and you don't stop until you collapse into bed exhausted late at night. Then you get up and do it all over -- and usually, you really do love it.

But your busy schedule is what I'd want to ask you about. Do you know how to care for your inner world as well as you do your outer world? We're all like pressure cookers. We can only handle so much stress. Sooner or later, we need a way to release it all.

You're probably thinking, "If I stop or cut back, who will get things done?" Or, "I can't do it all, but I feel like I have to." If you feel like you're barely holding your world together, you could be one crisis away from life spinning out of your control.

You really only have two choices. You can go through a crisis and discover that you MUST stop. Or you can head off a crisis by believing that you CAN stop. You won't find inner peace by controlling a crazy outer world, but by creating calm within your crazy.

Maybe you can find a few minutes to sit and be quiet. Or to enjoy lunch in the park, or a bubble bath after everyone else has gone to bed. There are a million options. Find a few that create physical and spiritual space. You deserve it. And you need it if you hope to refresh your mind, body and soul.

Q: How should we respond to our teenager when he claims that we don't care about what he has to say? We do try to give him our full attention whenever he talks to us, so we don't think his accusations are fair. But we also want him to know that we take him seriously.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: When a teenager brings this up, many times it is about the accumulation of multiple things emotionally. First, seek to understand where that thought is coming from. Ask questions to seek clarification. You can say, "Help me understand why you think we don't care about what you have to say," or "What is it that you need for us to understand that we are not understanding?" or "What have we missed?"

Don't let yourself get defensive. Your goal is to get to a rational and relational conversation while avoiding getting stuck in an emotionally charged exchange.

The second thing you want to do in response to this desire to be heard is to set up some one-on-one connection times. Invest time for trust and relationship to be built. The one-on-ones can be short moments of daily connection and somewhat longer times once each week.

Also, keep in mind that when a teen says he does not feel understood or heard, sometimes this may mean he doesn't think you are willing to let him get his way or what he wants. This might be a case of your teen getting stuck on what your response SHOULD be (in his mind) instead of what it COULD be. What is your son expecting as your response? He may be unhappy with a consistent boundary; that is OK. You are not his parent to make him happy, but to understand and guide him toward growth, including healthy maturity and healthy relationships.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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