Q: I've racked up a fair bit of credit card debt the past few months while unemployed. Now that I'm working again, I have just enough in the bank to cover what I owe. Should I use my savings to pay off my credit card?

Jim: There are a lot of variations on the common question: "Should I pay off my credit cards first or put some money in savings?" The answer is "yes." That's because wise financial management is never an "either-or" proposition. It's a question of maintaining balance.

Financial success depends upon good stewardship. And good stewardship is founded upon four foundational planning principles: Spend less than you earn, avoid debt, set long-term goals and maintain liquidity. Your question sets two of these principles -- avoid debt and maintain liquidity -- against each other. But both are essential to your financial well-being.

Eliminating credit debt is the surest and highest form of investment return you can make. Not having to pay that interest cost each month is, in effect, the same as achieving the same rate of return on any monies you invest. At the same time, liquidity -- available savings, bank accounts and other resources that can be quickly converted to cash -- is indispensable in a world where the future is uncertain. An emergency savings fund can spell the difference between bankruptcy and financial survival if an unforeseen disaster arises.

I'd suggest that you lay out a plan to put some money toward debt payments each month while still earmarking some for your savings account. Make this plan a key part of your budget. You may not be able to do everything at once, but you can certainly do a little at a time -- a few dollars here, a few dollars there. Daunting as it seems, you simply have to discipline yourself to start small and build gradually. However you arrange it, it's wise to keep a hand on both priorities simultaneously.

Q: My husband is a great dad, but he lacks confidence. How can I help him understand just how important he is in our kids' lives?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: It might help him to know that his everyday "dad skills" aren't ho-hum stuff -- to your children these are superpowers. These skills include:

-- Observation. This might not sound impressive, but it's huge. It is incredibly meaningful when dads take note of their kids' words and actions and reflect those back verbally. It means Dad is trying to see into their world.

-- Building. Fathers can build both physically and verbally. At the very least, we can all build things with toy blocks with our kids. Why not look up videos on how to build things like a homemade water slide for the backyard, or a garden? While not all dads feel confident physically building things, every dad can develop verbal building skills. Our families are fueled by our supportive words. Speak, text or write a message of love or encouragement to your kids.

-- Listening. Kids yearn to be heard. When a dad truly listens, a child feels important and loved. Listening shows that you care about the person who is talking.

-- Teaching. The three superpowers above will help unlock this one. There are so many things a dad can teach -- life skills, sports, cooking -- you name it. The key to teaching is having a strong relationship with your child.

-- Strength. Dads can express physical strength in fun ways, such as wrestling with the kids, going on bike rides or playing sports. Strength of character can help dads communicate and teach values like optimism, curiosity and hope.

Your husband may not realize it yet, but his superpowers are waiting to be unleashed.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: Can you help me deal with the starving, binging and purging problem I've had ever since I was a teen? Thoughts of food rarely leave my mind. I'm fixated on my body weight. I feel guilty, shamed and dirty. How can I change?

Jim: My heart goes out to you. There's really no way I (or anyone else) can even scratch the surface of this issue in a limited venue like this column. But I do want you to experience something that may seem far away right now: hope.

There's a reason you've found it so hard to break this pattern. The starve-binge cycle is a bio-psycho-social-spiritual disorder that actually changes body chemistry. It does this by interfering with normal serotonin and endorphin levels. Change can be difficult and slow under these circumstances. But it's not impossible. The key is that you need caring people to walk with you on this journey. Don't try to go it alone.

It's also important to remember that there's a strong spiritual component to most eating disorders. So, with all of that in mind, I would strongly recommend that you contact one of our staff counselors for a free over-the-phone consultation. They will be happy to discuss your situation and supply you with a list of referrals to qualified therapists in your area. Call 855-771-HELP (4357).

Meanwhile, on the physical level, moderate exercise can be an important part of the reversal process. Dr. Archibald Hart's book "The Anxiety Cure" suggests a number of lifestyle alterations that can help get you moving in the right direction. I wish you the best.

Q: Our marriage has long been plagued by conflict and emotional pain. We've reluctantly concluded that we need to separate for a while. I don't know if our relationship will survive, but for our kids' sake and our own sanity I want to go about this process in the best way possible. Help?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Remember that marital separation is best understood as a strategy for healing a hurting marriage. As Gary Chapman says in his book "Hope for the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed" (which I highly recommend), "separation is not necessarily the beginning of the end." Rather, I'd advise you and your spouse to approach it as an opportunity to avail yourselves of some marital triage.

Be intentional in the way you go about it. Write up a list together of the goals you hope to achieve by this time away from one another. Decide on a time frame. Make a commitment to work on your issues during this hiatus in your relationship, both as individuals and as a couple. Document all these decisions to keep yourselves on track.

It's best to provide children with as much structure and stability as possible during a separation. Do everything in your power to maintain a normal schedule and preserve your kids' sense of normalcy and security.

Meanwhile, you'll likely have to interact occasionally about the children's needs, household affairs and other practical matters. Much of this can be handled by phone, text and email, but if you're involved in mutual counseling (as I trust you will be), you may receive "homework" assignments requiring you to meet in person. I highly recommend doing this in a neutral public setting like a coffee shop or restaurant. Prioritize conducting everything in a genial and businesslike manner.

Again, the goal is to heal your marriage. We have many resources to help at FocusOnTheFamily.com. And for relationships at the breaking point, our Hope Restored® program has an exceptional success rate in healing troubled marriages; see hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: As a 50-something single woman with no immediate family (I never married), the past few months of forced isolation have really ramped up my concern about how I'll cope as I age. I worry that no one will be there for me when I'm no longer able to do everything for myself. I don't want to grow bitter about my circumstances; how can I find peace?

Jim: This year has highlighted how our society is becoming increasingly atomized and isolated. And you're not alone; many unmarried adults are looking around and realizing that they're living in a very scary world, often without anyone to help or support them.

Thankfully, you can proactively improve your prospects and prepare for your future. Start looking now for people who can become the support group you will need in later years. Church is a great place to explore opportunities for relationships, but don't necessarily stop there. There are lots of special-interest clubs, service organizations and charitable societies that you may be able to join. Supportive friendships are cultivated over time through shared experiences.

What are your hobbies? Do you enjoy painting, quilting, reading, stamp-collecting or bird-watching? Are you interested in political activism or social relief? Could you benefit by enrolling in a nutrition-and-fitness class, a book club or a discussion group of some kind? The possibilities are almost endless. Any of these activities could become the basis for several deeply meaningful long-term friendships.

Here's a key thought to keep in mind: Don't limit yourself to your chronological peers. You're positioned now to encourage and help new friends who might be older than you are. And if you stretch your comfort zone to get to know younger people, those connections could prove to be especially important to you in years to come.

Q: Our strong-willed toddler has been attacking other people with his teeth with increasing frequency the past couple of months. How do we stop it?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting & Youth: While I can't fully cover this topic in this short column, here are some quick thoughts.

With toddlers, one way to eliminate negative behavior (including biting) is with swift consequences followed by reinforced and repeated teaching. One effective tool with kids this age is "timeout from positive reinforcement." Remove your child from the situation he wants to be in and confine him to a very boring location for a short time period.

A portable playpen can be helpful. Put the playpen where your child is away from the action but you can still watch him. Then require him to stay there until he's calm enough for teaching time. A good rule of thumb is one minute of timeout for each year of a child's age; so, a 2-year-old would receive a two-minute timeout.

Don't give the child access to toys during this time, and don't interact with him at all (lecture, scold, etc.). Just ignore him. In a toddler's mind, even negative attention is better than no attention at all and gives him the illusion of control. He'll likely throw a tantrum in a desperate attempt to regain control, but don't give in to the temptation to engage.

Once he has calmed down, let him know he gets to try again by regaining your trust. If you're patient, consistent with your follow-through teaching and don't give in to whining, screaming or temper tantrums, you should find that the biting behavior decreases fairly rapidly. But if this doesn't happen, there's a remote possibility your child may have a more serious developmental problem, which would best be addressed with your pediatrician and/or child psychologist.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.