Q: Do you have any suggestions for helping our kids learn how to handle money in practical ways?

Jim: I think there's a financial application that many of us overlook as parents: Paying for extracurricular activities. We all know they can take a big bite out of the family budget, but it's usually a sacrifice we're happy to make because we know the importance of those opportunities. Still, I wonder if we're doing our children a disservice by just handing over the cash.

Part of our job as parents is to instill a strong work ethic in our kids. It's never too early to guide children toward age-appropriate projects that nurture lifelong skills and have financial returns. After all, when kids learn the value of a dollar, they develop an appreciation for the effort that goes in to earning one. And if we choose to have our children cover at least part of the cost of sports, camps or lessons, they're more invested in the process -- and they'll probably get more out of the experience.

The best idea for a moneymaking project is one that fits your child's age, skill and temperament. Research ideas with your kids, and then encourage and support them along the way. Maybe it's making jewelry, offering computer services or walking dogs. It might even be running a lemonade stand by the curb. And if that doesn't work, don't be afraid to change course (that's Business 101). In the end, your children will reach some immediate goals while gaining a sense of accomplishment. But more importantly, you'll help them realize it's possible to find work they love -- and that has lasting effect.

Q: My marriage is struggling. I'm not really sure how we got to this point, but it seems like we spend most of our time fighting over who did what. I want to recapture the good relationship that we had once upon a time; do you have any advice?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Almost every marriage in crisis shares an identical problem. At least one member of the couple has a bad habit of blaming their own poor behavior on their spouse. In other words, a husband blames his wife for his affair; a wife blames her husband for her unhappiness. Or they blame one another for ... fill in the blank: Angry outbursts, critical attitudes, pornography or alcohol addictions -- the list goes on and on.

This all keeps a marriage stuck in conflict and at high risk for divorce. That's because casting blame is all about avoiding responsibility. If a problem is your fault, then you're the one who needs to change, not me. That attitude prevents couples from getting to the source of their issues and resolving them.

If you're stuck in the "blame game," there's only one way to turn things around. You must recognize and admit that your behavior is your own responsibility. After all, the only person you can change is yourself.

Now, I get it. Your spouse may have a knack for getting under your skin and provoking you. They may even be guilty of unhealthy and harmful behaviors. Still, when it comes down to it, how you respond is up to you. You can choose to meet your spouse's poor choices head-on with a healthy response of your own.

That takes humility. In some cases it might require "tough love" (perhaps even separating temporarily to work out your respective issues). But when couples acknowledge their own shortcomings and refuse to shift blame, even the most difficult conflict has a chance of getting resolved.

Our staff counselors can help; feel free to call them at 855-771-HELP (4357) or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: New year, new beginnings ... yada-yada-yada. It seems like every year I set goals for new things I want to accomplish, but even when I've managed to follow through and achieve them, I still feel unfulfilled. Isn't life all about seeking and finding new experiences? What am I missing?

Jim: At New Year's parties all over the world, many people celebrate midnight by breaking into a rendition of the classic song "Auld Lang Syne." It's a perfect tune to ring in the new year ... if you know what the words mean and take them to heart.

"Auld Lang Syne" is usually sung out of tradition, much like the "Happy Birthday" jingle at a party, but few understand its meaning. After all, what is meant by: "Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?" Those words actually call us to meaningful relationships in the new year.

The Scottish words "auld lang syne" literally mean "days of old." So, translated, the song is asking: "Should old acquaintances be forgotten from days of long ago?" In other words, the song calls us not to forget the important relationships that define our lives as we move into the new year.

That's a wonderful reminder. New Year's resolutions usually involve diet plans or professional goals. But do we ever consider how we can deepen our current relationships or reconnect where there's been strain in the past? That's the kind of resolution that could make this coming year the best one yet.

There's nothing wrong with setting goals for learning new skills or improving ourselves. But true connection and fulfillment come from having relationships with deep roots. Whatever we do and wherever we go, we're more apt to succeed when we have strong bonds with people we know well and love.

So when the clock strikes midnight on January 1, sing those words from your heart -- and let them move you closer toward the important people who are already in your life.

Q: Do you have any creative ideas to help me stay connected with my kids? We're all so involved that it feels like we never have a moment to share.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: You're not alone -- in a Pew Research survey, 56 percent of working parents reported difficulty in balancing work and quality family time.

The secret is addition by subtraction. In other words, choosing to say "no" to some things for each member of the family will serve to free up everybody's time for saying "yes" to each other.

In my house, we have a family night each week and make sure to pray and laugh together. Another simple yet powerful tool that works for us (and many families I've counseled professionally) is keeping "connection journals." These are journals we each have at our place on the kitchen table. They allow us all to write short messages to one another -- notes of encouragement, inspiring quotes, Bible verses, riddles and jokes and words of gratitude for what that person means to us.

Reading (and rereading) what's been written in these journals is like opening a gift. My son reads his before leaving for school; my daughter sometimes takes hers to read later in the day. My wife looks at her journal throughout the day while the rest of us are away from home. I enjoy taking mine to work and on business trips.

Connection journals can provide a quick mental "reset." We can all get off track when negative thinking crowds out perspective. Uplifting words get our thoughts turned around and reconnected with truth and what matters most.

So, give connection journals a try and see what a difference they can make in your family relationships.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: I always hear "peace on earth" this time of year, but I'm beginning to wonder if that's even possible -- there's so much conflict in our world. I want to teach my children (and learn myself) to be kind and sensitive to others. At the same time, I find myself cynically wondering if it even matters. What are your thoughts?

Jim: Your question makes me think of a popular quote that has been attributed to a variety of people, but actually traces to Reverend John Watson, a Scottish author and theologian who lived the majority of his life during the second half of the nineteenth century.

In 1897, Reverend Watson was invited by the popular religious newspaper The British Weekly to submit a Christmas message. Using his pen name "Ian MacLaren," he responded with a single sentence:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

At the time, the paper editorialized and said, "No message is more needed in our days of stress and storm, of selfish striving and merciless competition." Remember -- this was in 1897!

It's easy to romanticize the past, especially the times in which we've never lived, and to think things were pretty close to ideal back then, especially when compared to the modern challenges of today. But the reality is often otherwise.

Every era has its own challenges, of course. I think this is what led the writer of Ecclesiastes to state rather poetically, "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun" (1:9).

I believe it's good to remind ourselves that things are not always as they seem on the surface. A co-worker who comes to work each morning with a smile on their face may very well be struggling in their marriage or might be dealing with a wayward child. The neighbor you happily wave to each day may have just lost a parent or received unfavorable medical test results. That person in line ahead of you at the store or airport could be dealing with a lifetime of hidden pain.

A city of a million people has a million stories, because "... everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

The Christmas season, in all its assumed merriment, can be a challenging time of year for hurts of the heart. So I'd like to encourage you to always make the effort to reach out in kindness -- even if it doesn't seem like it will matter.

Meanwhile, don't forget the context of those words "peace on earth, goodwill to men." They're pivotal in the true story of Christmas. And the world-changing message is this: In a specific place, at a specific time, our Creator stepped into the middle of our human mess with the answer to all our conflicts and troubles. In our limited smallness, we can't fix those things ourselves. But He can. Our role is to point others to Him, and that starts with kindness.

Christmas actually provides us with an opportunity to extend an extra measure of kindness. It doesn't have to be fancy or significant. It's the thought that counts. As the world seems to grow more cold and more coarse with each passing day, a kind response can provide the antidote and balm to help soothe the burns of the world.

So, remember this quote: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Finally, maybe that someone is YOU. We have a staff of caring people (including licensed counselors) available to listen and help; see FocusOnTheFamily.com or call 800-A-FAMILY (800-232-6459).

May God bless you and your loved ones this Christmas.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.