Q: I don't want much -- just a comfortable life. I work diligently and want to enjoy the fruits of my labor without hassle. Is it too much to ask for a simple existence without pain and hardship?

Jim: No other generation in history has enjoyed the level of comfort that we do today. But all that luxury comes at a high cost -- and I'm not just talking about dollars and cents. I'm talking about wisdom. Technology has made our lives so easy that we're losing it.

Comfort and leisure have become our highest pursuits in life. We chase them, and then we desperately cling to them once we get them. We'll do anything to avoid discomfort. And therein lies the problem. You see, past generations knew something that we're forgetting: Wisdom is more important than short-term comfort.

Look at the Book of Proverbs, the most popular collection of wisdom in history. It was written by a culture that believed that wisdom was the highest pursuit in life -- not money, not comfort, not luxury. The proverbs repeatedly tell us that wisdom usually requires a little pain. The path from here to there is never a straight line. You make decisions -- you get stuff wrong. Hopefully you learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

The trouble is that we want wisdom, but we don't want pain. I like nice things as much as anybody. But I don't want my desire for comfort to win out over my desire to do what's right. That's how you build a better marriage, become a better parent or make better career choices. You live with the courage to do what's right.

So enjoy your comfort -- but don't run from pain and difficulty. There's wisdom to be found there.

Q: My wife and I try to take regular date nights. The last couple have turned awkward because we ended up arguing over issues we've been facing. Should we just forget date nights until we get things sorted out?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Letting conflict invade your recreation is like throwing a red shirt into the washer with white clothes. Even though it's just one small shirt, it can destroy an entire load of laundry by turning it pink (I might have some personal experience in this area). Likewise, even though you may be discussing just one tiny issue, if it's allowed to enter into your relaxation, the entire experience can be damaged.

Conflict can be destructive to your fun times, because it intensifies negative emotions. Painful memories flood into your awareness, and you both may become frustrated. As this happens, it becomes virtually impossible to relax and enjoy each other. If this pattern repeats too often, your mate may lose the desire to do fun things because the experience ends up turning "pink."

Before your enjoyment is destroyed, interrupt arguments or sensitive discussions by agreeing to talk about the issue at a later time. Reschedule the conversation when you can provide the necessary attention it deserves -- and when it won't mess up the fun time you've got planned. Simply say, "Let's not do this right now. How about we talk about that issue later when we're back at home?"

The key is that you must deal with the conflict issue later, or your spouse won't trust that you'll ever talk about it again. Instead, she'll express those negative feelings during your date -- because her past experience has been that it'll be the only opportunity.

By not allowing conflict to harm your recreation, you're sending a very important message: "Our relationship is more important than impulsively arguing about a problem."

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I have a lot of big dreams. But sometimes I get almost paralyzed mentally and overwhelmed by the size of the things I want to accomplish in life. How can I keep my focus and momentum?

Jim: I recall a time I was watching a television broadcast of the U.S. Open -- one of professional golf's biggest tournaments. As leaders for the final day were teeing off to get their rounds underway, somebody asked golfer Paul Azinger what the players needed to focus on to play well and have a shot at winning. Azinger replied: "If you want to achieve big things, you have to dream small."

Paul Azinger knows a thing or two about achieving big dreams: He won 12 tournaments on the PGA Tour, including two championships, and has followed his active playing career by becoming a highly successful broadcast analyst. What he meant by "dream small" was that golfers need to play their game one shot at a time. If they get too far ahead of themselves, they'll lose focus on the shot right in front of them.

That's good advice no matter your profession. Baseball players take games one pitch at a time. For football players, it's one play at a time. In marriage and parenting, it's one day at a time, one decision at a time, one moment of connection at a time. You can wait for your marriage to be better "someday," or you can take action and make it better today. Go ahead and plan for your kids' future, but take advantage of opportunities to invest in their lives right now.

Whether it's winning a golf tournament, building a successful career or creating a marriage and family that thrives, if you want to achieve big things, you have to dream small.

Q: How can I help my son get ready for the physical, emotional and psychological changes that adolescence brings?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: I'm impressed that you want to be proactive in your son's life. There's a big difference between the kind of influence you're considering and a one-time sex education talk. As your son approaches puberty, it's helpful to talk about identity, healthy friendships and relationships, the amazing and important differences between male and female, the way his body is changing and why all these things are important.

Along with hormonal and sexual developments, there will be rapid growth of bone and muscle. As a result, an eighth-grade gym class may contain skinny boys with alto voices who are sharing a locker room with peers who are hairy and muscular --and may seem intimidating. Remind your son that whatever the particular timing may be in his case, the transition to his adult body will eventually be complete. He can't control the timing, but he can smooth the process by exercising, getting rest and eating well.

It's also important to talk to your son about his increasing interest in the opposite sex. This is an important time to review specific guidelines -- and some basic wisdom -- about relationships and the progressive nature of sexual interest and contact.

Ideally, you should plan on having a series of foundational conversations with your preteen son, perhaps at age nine, ten or eleven. Some parents plan a special weekend away from home in order to have undistracted, one-on-one time during which these discussions can take place. Others stretch them out over longer periods.

Focus on the Family has just released a new video-based resource that's specifically designed to help parents and kids work through these conversations during this exciting (and sometimes confusing and difficult) transition. It's called "Launch Into the Teen Years." You can find out more at FocusOnTheFamily.com/parenting.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: How do I get my teenagers to engage in conversation? They're good kids; still, there are so many things I want to communicate to them before they go off to college in a few years. I just can't get them to respond when I try to share something that's on my heart.

Jim: Having raised two sons into their late teens, I can sympathize. My boys can be pretty interactive, but there are always those times when just one syllable (or even a grunt) is about all we receive.

As parents, we need to be aware if we're falling into the pattern of trying to impart wisdom through one-sided lectures. That's all too easy to do, particularly when we're not getting the response we'd like. Simply telling our children about life won't prepare them to navigate the real world. That requires a relationship. And to develop that, you have to deliberately talk with them. Here are a few suggestions.

First, model humility. When parents admit we're wrong, it helps our kids feel safe to open their hearts. Appropriately sharing your emotions teaches them it's OK to be authentic with trusted people.

Second, take advantage of available moments. Consider making that 10-minute drive to school a "tech-free zone" and have a chat instead.

Third, listening is an important part of conversation, so give your kids a chance to share what they really feel, even/especially if you disagree. Ask open-ended questions. Teens who feel listened to will feel valued and will likely be much more willing to open up and share.

And fourth, welcome questions from them. That's how kids explore their beliefs and grapple with new ideas. Give them the freedom to dig beneath the surface and ask challenging questions.

For more information on communicating with your teens, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My wife and I have been happily married for 46 years. We raised four kids, enjoy being grandparents, are active in church and civic activities -- our life is good. But we want to keep strengthening our relationship even more. Do you have any suggestions?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: First of all, I want to thank you for the example you have set. In this culture where almost everything is "disposable" -- including relationships, in some people's minds -- your faithfulness to each other provides a shining light of encouragement to all of us who are trying to make our own marriages the best they can be.

And I think that might be your answer. The old saying goes that "the best way to master a subject is to teach it." In other words, when we seriously apply ourselves to learning a collection of material or a skill so that we can pass it on to someone else, we better grasp and retain that knowledge ourselves.

Here's the point: You and your wife have obviously learned to communicate and work together as a team -- you couldn't have made it this far without those skills. Now I'd challenge you to come alongside younger couples and mentor them in these same principles. Countless other marriages could benefit from what you can demonstrate. And most of us are readily willing to listen to someone whose life experience has helped them successfully navigate the ups and downs of a long journey together.

So I suggest you seek out some younger couples to mentor -- maybe even just one to start with. I'll predict that as you pour into others, you'll be "recharged" in your own relationship. You might even find that their energy rubs off on you, making you feel younger, too.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.