Q: How do I get my teenagers to engage in conversation? They're good kids; still, there are so many things I want to communicate to them before they go off to college in a few years. I just can't get them to respond when I try to share something that's on my heart.

Jim: Having raised two sons into their late teens, I can sympathize. My boys can be pretty interactive, but there are always those times when just one syllable (or even a grunt) is about all we receive.

As parents, we need to be aware if we're falling into the pattern of trying to impart wisdom through one-sided lectures. That's all too easy to do, particularly when we're not getting the response we'd like. Simply telling our children about life won't prepare them to navigate the real world. That requires a relationship. And to develop that, you have to deliberately talk with them. Here are a few suggestions.

First, model humility. When parents admit we're wrong, it helps our kids feel safe to open their hearts. Appropriately sharing your emotions teaches them it's OK to be authentic with trusted people.

Second, take advantage of available moments. Consider making that 10-minute drive to school a "tech-free zone" and have a chat instead.

Third, listening is an important part of conversation, so give your kids a chance to share what they really feel, even/especially if you disagree. Ask open-ended questions. Teens who feel listened to will feel valued and will likely be much more willing to open up and share.

And fourth, welcome questions from them. That's how kids explore their beliefs and grapple with new ideas. Give them the freedom to dig beneath the surface and ask challenging questions.

For more information on communicating with your teens, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My wife and I have been happily married for 46 years. We raised four kids, enjoy being grandparents, are active in church and civic activities -- our life is good. But we want to keep strengthening our relationship even more. Do you have any suggestions?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: First of all, I want to thank you for the example you have set. In this culture where almost everything is "disposable" -- including relationships, in some people's minds -- your faithfulness to each other provides a shining light of encouragement to all of us who are trying to make our own marriages the best they can be.

And I think that might be your answer. The old saying goes that "the best way to master a subject is to teach it." In other words, when we seriously apply ourselves to learning a collection of material or a skill so that we can pass it on to someone else, we better grasp and retain that knowledge ourselves.

Here's the point: You and your wife have obviously learned to communicate and work together as a team -- you couldn't have made it this far without those skills. Now I'd challenge you to come alongside younger couples and mentor them in these same principles. Countless other marriages could benefit from what you can demonstrate. And most of us are readily willing to listen to someone whose life experience has helped them successfully navigate the ups and downs of a long journey together.

So I suggest you seek out some younger couples to mentor -- maybe even just one to start with. I'll predict that as you pour into others, you'll be "recharged" in your own relationship. You might even find that their energy rubs off on you, making you feel younger, too.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Part of what drew my wife and me together is that we experienced similar wounds in our respective pasts. We thought that would help us relate, but now we're actually struggling. Do you have any advice?

Jim: Thanks in part to Hollywood, generations of people have been taught that marriage is best when two individuals who are broken and lost on their own meet that special someone who completes them. It's an idea that works well in the movies. But in real life, relationships like that are doomed to years of struggle unless there's some form of intervention.

Here's why: Genuine intimacy within a marriage can only occur between two people who are healthy and whole as individuals. People who feel incomplete inside usually rely on others to fill them up. But emotionally, that's like a bucket with a hole in the bottom -- no relationship is ever enough to fill it.

This leads to a second problem. Healthy people feel emotionally content inside, so they're able to freely give of themselves to their spouse. However, someone who is wounded rarely has anything to give because their energy is devoted to seeking after what they "need" from their spouse.

In math, two halves make a whole. But marriage isn't a math problem; it's a relationship. Two broken people cannot combine their wounds to create a successful relationship. A strong marriage consists of two healthy individuals, each of whom is content inside and able to give to their spouse in love and sacrifice.

The answer, then, is that both of you need to do the hard work -- professional therapy, spiritual growth, etc. -- to sort through your own "stuff." The good news is that encouraging each other through that process will help strengthen your relationship. Our staff counselors would be happy to help you get started; call 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: I'm concerned that my three children (ages 5, 7 and 10) are heavier than most of their classmates. My husband and I also carry some extra pounds; in fact, several members of both our extended families tend toward "plus sizes." But I'm worried about my kids' health -- what can we do?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: It's possible that genetics may play a role in the "plus sizes" within your family -- along with certain habits that may need attention. There are two key areas where parents can take an active role in improving their children's health: nutrition and exercise.

Let's take nutrition first. This isn't about reaching a certain ideal size, but of overall health. Various internal factors can impact poor diet, including fatigue, stress, depression, anxiety and lack of self-control. Help your kids learn what leads them toward bad (or good) eating habits.

Meanwhile, one suggestion is to avoid fast food as much as possible. By offering simple meals at home, parents can help children learn about healthy eating. There's plenty of helpful information available online (and you can never go wrong with extra vegetables). Also, consider healthy alternatives to carb- loaded sugary snacks. Don't worry -- when healthy foods become common at mealtime, children will not only eat them, they'll eventually prefer them.

Exercise is the second area of benefit to a child's overall health. It's important to limit our kids' time with computers, TVs, mobile devices and just sitting around. Instead, get them outside: running, jumping and playing. Maybe there's a sport they would enjoy trying. Take walks and bike rides as a family. At the very least, create a safe place where your child can be physically active.

As in so many areas, children learn the value of healthy diet and exercise by watching your example. So parents need to be "all in," too -- it's well worthwhile.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I really struggle with my inadequacies as a mother. I try my best, but I never quite measure up to all the other moms who do everything right. I'm so afraid that my kids will be damaged in some way. Help!

Jim: I've got some good news for you: There's no such thing as a perfect family.

That may not sound very encouraging, but I promise you that it is. Effective parenting can be tough on a good day. It's nearly impossible if you think you have to do it perfectly.

And that's an easy trap to fall into. You might not even recognize all of the subtle ways you see imperfection in your home. Like the day you see the family across the street, and you think to yourself, "They sure look like they have it all together." Or another day when you think you're failing as a parent because the people you follow on social media all make parenting and marriage seem so easy. When everybody around you looks flawless, your own home life is much more likely to feel chaotic and fragmented.

The truth is, we're all flawed. No parent acts lovable all of the time. And every child misbehaves. The goal isn't for our families to be perfect -- it's for them to be as healthy and as happy as possible.

So when you make a mistake, just remember it's an opportunity to learn something. And when you're open to learning, you'll move one step closer every day to becoming the parent you hope to be.

So let me encourage you with this: On days when your family doesn't seem to be going the way you'd hoped, don't think "perfection" -- think "connection." Your children don't need you to be perfect. They just need you to be present.

Q: I married my soldier husband a year ago, and now he's scheduled to deploy overseas for at least six months. How can we maintain a healthy marriage while we're apart?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: First of all, thanks to both of you for your service. Military deployment can be tough on couples, but if you're proactive (and it sounds like you are), you can thrive through it.

Remember that husbands and wives tend to handle stress differently. While there are exceptions, men often detach emotionally as a coping mechanism. Women are usually the opposite; their need for emotional connection increases as the time for separation draws closer. These differences can lead to conflict -- or be a source of intimacy if couples will openly communicate about what they're feeling. So talk with each other.

Also, it's easy to worry about the months ahead and lose touch with your spouse right here and now. The more good memories you create together before you're separated, the less stressful your time apart will be.

During the deployment, it's critical to surround yourself with a supportive community -- through church, moms' groups, other military families, etc. Establish connection with others for mutual encouragement and practical help.

Naturally, communicate with your spouse as often as you can. Technology makes it easier than ever to stay in touch, so take advantage of it. But be careful. Never end a conversation in anger. And don't try to resolve big problems that can wait. A frustrating situation will be twice as hard to manage when one of you is away. So try to stay positive. Keep your spouse updated on life at home, send care packages and keep family photos coming.

Finally, take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Your spouse will be relieved to know you're doing well. We have plenty of tips and resources for military families at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.