Q: I feel overlooked and unappreciated in my job. I'm surrounded by people with more talent, skill and/or education who get all the attention. It gets pretty discouraging. How can I keep my attitude up?

Jim: I'd say don't look down on yourself; your role may be more important than you think. Let me give you an illustration.

It's fascinating to watch an orchestra in action. You'll see a wide variety of musical instruments played by people who have worked hard to develop their skills. When master conductor Leonard Bernstein was asked once which is the hardest instrument to play, his answer was "second fiddle." He went on to say: "I can get plenty of first violinists. But to find someone who plays second violin with as much enthusiasm -- that's a problem. Yet if we have no second fiddle, we have no harmony."

Bernstein's point is that in this me-first, "personal brand" world filled with people posting promotional selfies, very few are interested in playing "second fiddle." That's even become a derogatory term for people who work hard behind the scenes but receive little credit.

Yet a supporting role is nothing to look down on. The richness and fullness of music comes from the harmonies provided by the entire orchestra. And anybody who truly understands how thriving organizations function will tell you that success can only be achieved when everyone involved makes results the goal instead of recognition.

Maybe you feel insignificant because people around you seem to be more in the forefront. But I encourage you to see yourself in a different light. You bring something to your circle of influence that no one else could -- your uniquely created blend of skills, personality and experience. And something important would be missing without you. I hope you'll find a fulfilling spot, at this job or perhaps a different one, where your value is clearly appreciated and communicated to you and everyone else.

Q: What do my kids really need from me? My wife says I don't pay enough attention to them, but I'm working as hard as I can to provide for my family.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: One of the major responsibilities of being a father is to provide for their family. Kudos to you for that! But children need more than food and a roof over their heads. And some of the things they need are best provided not by a mom but a dad. So what else do kids need from you?

-- Relationship. Children yearn for a loving connection with their father. Research shows that a father's presence helps kids with social adjustment, improves graduation rates, and reduces a child's risk of mental health problems. Yet a lot of dads don't make time for relationship a priority. Time is crucial -- you can't pay attention and listen to someone else without dedicating time to them. So when you're with your children, put down your phone, make eye contact, and hear what's on their hearts.

-- Boundaries and limits. Kids need a dad who is willing to do the hard work of creating boundaries. These help them learn how to navigate emotions, pressures and temptations. Within the context of security and relationship, limits promote respect, trust, growth and self-esteem. Children will test the limits you lay down, but they need them. You'll be much more successful in implementing boundaries if you've taken time to develop a healthy relationship with your kids.

-- Mission, direction and vision. Children build their identity from a very young age. By validating their character, talents and skills, you can help your kids focus their lives and pursue meaning and purpose. That's life transforming for them -- and you.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Our teen son seems obsessed with how he looks. He doesn't just try to Photoshop his selfies; he's actually almost panicked about his physique. Is that normal?

Jim: Most of us know that body image is a serious issue for teen girls. But many parents don't realize that more and more teen boys are susceptible to body image struggles, too. Having raised two sons myself, I can tell you it's a big deal.

Studies are tracing this growing problem to a cultural shift in recent decades that has redefined the ideal male body image. Professional athletes are bigger and stronger than they've ever been. Hollywood once portrayed superheroes as average guys in spandex. Now they're played by bodybuilders -- or even entirely computer generated. Today's teen boys are also under the spell of social media (read: Photoshopped selfies) and a marketing machine fueling the multibillion-dollar fitness industry.

The problem isn't that teen boys are aspiring to a level of physical fitness that's currently beyond them. An improvement in diet and exercise can be a great decision. But, as with girls, problems can arise when boys commit too much of their time, resources and emotional well-being to chasing results that may be unattainable.

If your son wants to hit the weights, don't discourage him entirely. Just know that body image problems aren't limited to girls. Watch for signs of an extreme diet, radical weight loss or excessive fatigue from too much time in the gym.

Most of all, help your son set reasonable boundaries that will influence him to find a good balance between his health and his body image.

Q: I've been dating a man from a different country. We're considering getting married; are there any special challenges we might face trying to build a successful marriage as an intercultural couple?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Whenever a man and a woman pledge themselves to one another for life, it should be a cause for celebration. That said, it's important to acknowledge and understand how contrasting customs and cultural backgrounds may impact your marriage and family life. The way you're brought up is the way you'll live unless you make a conscious choice to embrace another option.

Nationalistic, ethnic or social pride can drive a wedge between otherwise loving spouses. One partner may feel superior because he or she grew up in a "higher" socio-economic class. A spouse may feel "owed something" for having legalized the other's citizenship through matrimony. Pride also raises its head when one spouse believes the other's culture or beliefs are inferior.

As in any marriage, communication can be one of the biggest difficulties -- including the challenge of speaking different languages. Linguistic differences you normally enjoy can become an issue when misunderstandings occur or when the "foreign" language is spoken at family gatherings. Communication also affects the way a couple solves problems. Attitudes toward gender roles can play havoc with the relationship unless husbands and wives can turn conflicts into opportunities for learning and growth.

Another potential challenge is isolation. Broken family ties and friendships can haunt couples for the rest of their lives. This aspect of the situation needs to be weighed very carefully.

Here are five practical steps to handle racial and cultural differences in your marriage:

Educate yourself and your family about the other culture.

Challenge false beliefs.

Discuss the positives and negatives of your two cultures, and choose together which parts will best fit in your relationship.

Adjust and adapt to one another's cultures through compromise and communication.

Be patient and love unconditionally.

If you need help putting these concepts into practice, don't hesitate to give our counselors a call at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I'm adjusting to being a single mom, but I'm really worried about raising my 9-year-old son on my own. I feel inadequate. Do you have any advice?

Jim: Being a single parent is tough. Raising a boy can present some unique challenges for a single mother, so I want to encourage you: You can do this.

One of the most important things you can do is to surround yourself with a supportive community. That could be family, close friends or even people you know from work or church. The main thing is don't try to go it alone. You need people who will come alongside you when the going gets tough.

Not only do you need support, but so does your son. Every growing boy needs a male role model in his life who can be a positive influence. I know you're working hard to be your son's source of strength. But he needs to connect with a male figure who can set a good example of what it means to be a man. So ask a family member or a friend you trust if he'll spend some time with your son and mentor him.

I also recommend you take advantage of books and other resources that are available to help you navigate single parenting. You and your son are both in store for a lot of changes as he matures and develops. There is great information out there that can help you avoid some of the potholes you might otherwise hit. We can help; see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

I applaud your commitment to your son. Many days being a single mom is a thankless job. But with the right support and influence, I believe all of your dedication and hard work can eventually pay off. So hang in there!

Q: My husband and I can't agree on how to direct and discipline our children. We try to work together, but inevitably one of us will be more permissive while the other is stricter. Without going into who takes which approach, do you have any advice for deciding what's best?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: Couples don't always agree about the best way to raise their children. My wife and I don't. But we learned a long time ago that we don't have to fight about which of our parenting styles is correct. Both of us play an important part in raising our kids.

That's a good thing for you and your spouse to remember as well. Opposites really do attract, and the impact isn't only felt in a marriage. It affects our parenting as well. The key is to understand your differences and learn to work together.

Usually, one parent is more of the "rule maker." Your style of parenting is probably more black and white. You love structure and think order and discipline are how to prepare children for the real world.

Many times the other parent is more of a "free spirit." Your style is probably more "gray area" -- friendly and relational. You focus on your child's feelings instead of the rules, and you tend to be more gentle and nurturing.

We often act like one of those parenting styles is right and one is wrong. That's a recipe for negative conflict. But parenting isn't about choosing one method over another. It's about blending the two together for a common goal -- raising a child who sees boundaries as freeing and relationships as essential. Children need the "rule maker's" limits, structure and discipline, but they also need the "free spirit's" nurturing, relational, laid-back attitude.

It will not be easy, but certainly worthwhile. It'll bring a healthy balance to your child's development.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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