Q: My wife and I are both retired. We want to have an impact on younger generations, but we're not sure how. We weren't able to have children, and through most of our 43 years of marriage we've just quietly gone about our daily business. Neither of us finished college or accomplished anything noteworthy. We don't really have a legacy to leave anyone; still, we feel that there must be something we can do. Do you have any suggestions?

Jim: First of all, I want to congratulate you on 43 years (and counting) of marriage -- that's fantastic! And it's where I'm going to differ with you: I think you have accomplished something very noteworthy. In a society where that level of commitment is becoming increasingly rare, you have set an example that no self-help book on marriage can possibly match.

So that's what I suggest: Simply share your story. Through more than four decades of life together, you have obviously seen a lot of ups and downs. I'm sure you and your wife have experienced hardships and disappointments -- and since you're human, no doubt there have been times when you just didn't feel like sticking together. But you did.

That means all of us can learn from your example. If we'd all work on "the daily business" of maintaining our marriages through the changing seasons of life, this world would be a far better place.

Find younger couples who are struggling in some way, whether they're newlyweds or have been married for a while and things are beginning to unravel. Be honest; don't sugarcoat the hard times, but share how you repeatedly made the decision to persevere through them. That's your legacy -- and I thank you for it.

Q: How can we prepare our preschooler for the upcoming birth of a new baby? What's the best way to explain the birthing process so that he can understand it? I'd like to be as honest as possible with him, but I also want to be careful not to give him more information than he needs.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: When discussing human sexuality with children, the best approach is to give them just enough information to provide satisfactory answers to their questions, which can be tricky. Avoid going into too much detail. The challenge here is to be frank, straightforward and genuinely helpful while keeping the discussion well within the parameters of age-appropriate language and concepts. Since you know your child best, you will understand how best to accomplish this in your particular family setting.

When talking about the birthing process with preschoolers, a major issue of concern is likely to be, "How is that baby going to get out of Mommy's tummy?" If you're faced with this question, you can simply say that there is a part of mommy's body between her legs that God made very special for this purpose. He designed her body so that when the baby is ready to be born -- after around nine months -- that special part opens up enough for the baby to come out. Then, after the baby is born, that part of the body goes back to the way it was before. Most children at this age will have no trouble accepting this explanation at face value.

It's also advisable to use medically accurate names for body parts, including the sex organs. Many pediatricians agree with this approach. You will have to determine for yourself at what point you want to introduce these terms to your child. But avoid using slang words or "cute" names for private parts. That can cause kids unnecessary confusion and may even set them up for embarrassment later on in life.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Our 4-year-old son has started acting out in ways that perplex us. He's taken to shouting when he gets angry and has said some words that seem beyond his usual vocabulary -- not swearing, but just different. We're not sure where he's getting this. What can we do?

Jim: Well, the first place to look might be close at hand. Let me share an illustration. My friend Michael Hyatt remembers noticing as a child that his dad walked with a significant limp. So at four years old, Michael decided he should shuffle along that way, too. That lasted until his mother said one day, "Michael, you don't need to walk with a limp. Dad walks that way because he was hurt in the war."

Hyatt calls that innocent copycatting the "law of replication." Broadly speaking, it means that children will often copy the behavior of those they look up to. This idea has direct application for parents. It's not a question of if our kids are picking up behaviors from us (or someone else) -- it's what they're picking up.

And that's where things can get challenging for moms and dads. For example, if your child yells when he's angry, ask yourself, "Is this behavior something he's learned from me? And if not me, who?" Children ought to be held accountable for their own actions, of course. But it's wise to remember how easily a child can be influenced -- and by which role models.

The good news is you can use the "law of replication" to your advantage by modeling the positive behavior and attitudes you want to see in your kids. It's a great way to pass your values to your kids -- and, if necessary, do a "reset" -- because beliefs are often caught rather than taught.

Q: My husband has hurt my feelings many times. I don't think it's necessarily intentional -- it's more just neglect and preoccupation with his own priorities. I keep hearing that I need to forgive him. I just don't know if I can!

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Forgiveness is a personal choice. It's also one of the most challenging things each of us must do regularly in marriage. There may be only minor damage from occasional disappointments, or we may have deep emotional scars from years of back-and-forth mistreatment. Over time our hearts can become so hardened that forgiveness can seem impossible.

Even if we truly want to forgive our spouse for unresolved offenses, we may stubbornly insist that they should make the first move toward reconciliation. They often feel the same way, which leaves us in a deadlock.

The truth is that if we desire a more loving relationship, we must learn to keep short accounts and forgive on a regular basis. Reconciliation and healing won't take place overnight, but forgiving can be a turning point in any relationship.

Forgiveness communicates to our spouse that we value them, and it can soften our hardened hearts toward each other. It doesn't erase what has happened, stop the pain or magically heal the wounds. But it allows our relationship to move toward deeper levels of intimacy.

Forgiveness starts when we make the decision to forgive, regardless of whether our emotions necessarily line up with our decision. In other words, we can choose to forgive even when we don't feel like it.

Forgiveness is not only a choice, it's also a process. Our society tends to demand instant gratification; we want things immediately. But forgiveness doesn't work like that. Depending on the gravity and magnitude of the offense, it can take weeks, months or years -- even a lifetime. But regardless of how long it takes, forgiveness is always worth it.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I became a single mom after an ugly divorce -- not what I wanted, but it happened, and there's no going back. After a few years, I'm ready to move forward. I've been dating a great guy who has custody of his own kids. What should we keep in mind as we prepare for a new marriage and combining our households?

Jim: Whether your previous relationships ended through divorce or the death of a spouse, entering into a new marriage comes with a special set of challenges when you or your spouse-to-be has kids. That's because blending two families can be tougher than you'd think.

For children -- even in the best of situations -- watching a parent enjoy a new relationship may not seem like "moving forward" at all. They may feel like they're being dragged into something they never asked for. So keep a couple of things in focus.

First, it's important to make the children a priority -- both yours and your stepkids. They need to know they matter to you. Otherwise, they'll feel like they've lost you to your new spouse (and vice versa for stepkids), which is sure to create conflict. So give the children lots of time and attention.

Second, invest in your new marriage. Kids need a stable home life to feel comfort and security. And studies repeatedly prove that the best indicator of stability in the home is a healthy marriage. So be sure your relationship is solid and vibrant before you walk down the aisle.

These ideas won't guarantee your households will blend without any problems at all. But they are a step in the right direction. The most important thing is to be consistent and to invest the energy necessary to make your new family work.

For more help strengthening your family, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My teen daughter and friends spend entire weekends binge-watching their favorite shows. They're pretty careful about what they watch, so I'm not worried about that. But do you think this binge-watching thing is healthy?

Adam Holz, Plugged In: That's a great question. Binge-watching -- viewing multiple TV episodes in one sitting -- is a fairly new thing. Many shows, especially on streaming platforms like Netflix and Amazon, release entire seasons simultaneously. So there's no more waiting until next week, like the "good ol' days."

On one level, your daughter is doing what teens have done for decades: staying up late, having fun and tasting a bit of the freedom of moving toward adulthood (and the resulting tiredness the next day!). But on a deeper level, binge-watching does have an unhealthy edge to it. Bingeing excessively on anything -- food, drink or material things -- often feels satisfying in the moment. But later on, we realize that those attempts to fill our hearts, minds and bodies with something to make us feel good actually accomplish just the opposite, leaving us feeling empty and perhaps defeated.

Bingeing on TV may have different consequences than those forms of overconsumption, but the internal impulse is arguably the same: a desire for more, a desire to be filled, coupled with an inability to exercise self-control. A big part of becoming a mature adult is the ability to delay gratification. But binge-watching as a regular habit involves practicing just the opposite: seeking gratification right now.

On top of that, Netflix alone put out more than 800 original shows and movies last year. There's always another show to watch, and streaming companies are more than happy to oblige subscribers' binge appetites. But at some point, the healthy choice -- whether we're teens or adults -- is to turn off the TV and look for more productive ways to invest our limited time and affection in the relationships that matter most.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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