Q: My mother now has dementia and is living in a local care facility. This will be the first Christmas when Grandma isn't part of our family celebration. I'm concerned about how to handle this with our kids; do you have any suggestions?

Jim: A few years ago, I went with my two sons to help deliver Christmas gift bags to assisted living centers. One of the first ladies we met was a woman named Helen. She was sitting on the edge of her bed when we walked in, and she was excited to see us. Not just because she was friendly, but because she was lonely. She told us, "I have sons and daughters. But no one in my family visits me anymore."

A lot of elderly people spend Christmas alone. And no group is forgotten more than dementia patients. The disease robs people of their families in more ways than one. Not only does someone with dementia forget who their family and friends are, their loved ones often stop visiting because of it. According to one study, nearly half of family members believe there's no benefit to visiting someone who no longer recognizes them.

But there is a benefit. Even as mental acuity dies, the emotional center of a dementia patient's brain is still very much alive. That means they can feel love even if they're unable to express it back to you.

So this Christmas, if you have a loved one with dementia, pay them a visit and shower them with affection. It's important for everyone in the family -- and especially the children -- to recognize that the person you all love is still present. They're just hidden behind their disease. And even if they can't express love back to you like they once did, they can feel it.

Q: I was supposed to get married this year, but we broke up before the wedding. So once again I'll be single and alone at Christmas. I want to have a good perspective -- can you help?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: There are a lot of moving pieces to a situation like yours, and it's natural to grieve the loss of that particular dream. But you can move on and thrive. Here's my suggestion: maximize your "now" while you anticipate your "later." To do that, remember these three ideas:

First, use your time as a single to prepare yourself. Do you want to marry a mature, wise person with good character? Then be a mature, wise person with good character.

Second, remember that community is vitally important. "Single" shouldn't mean "isolated." Plug into your local church or social groups at work, and stay connected to your family and friends. Great relationships don't just appear; you have to put in some work to cultivate them. For example, rather than just being alone at Christmas, find others who are "solo" (for whatever reason) and organize a celebration.

And last, whatever you do, don't sit around and wait for life to begin. Get involved somewhere. You have opportunities as a single that you wouldn't have if you were married with children. So reach out to others.

The bottom line is this: If you're single, you don't have to feel like you're alone in the stands watching real life take place on the field without you. You can live a rich, full and meaningful life while you wait for that certain someone you want to build a future with. You do that by maximizing your "now" while you anticipate your "later."

By the way, Focus on the Family has an outreach addressing single life from a faith-based perspective; see Boundless.org.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My new husband and I are excited for our first Christmas as a married couple. But we're having differences of opinion over how we should celebrate. Is that normal?

Jim: Christmas is an exciting time of year for most newlyweds. But transitioning from "his traditions" and "her traditions" to "our traditions" isn't always easy. He probably has a few ideas from his childhood, and so does she.

The Christmas tree is just one example. Some people love the convenience and year-to-year consistency of artificial trees. But others feel it's not Christmas without the smell of a real tree and the sense of nostalgia it gives to the holiday.

Marriage is all about communication, finding common ground and serving each other. Whether it's deciding on a tree, when to open presents or where to have Christmas dinner, you need to intentionally come together in a way that makes the season meaningful for each of you.

I'd suggest taking a date night to make lists of what each of you did in your families growing up, and what was most meaningful to you. Share your favorite memories. It's like a recipe: Find ways to blend together a little of "hers" and a little of "his" to create a Christmas that's "ours." And look for new ideas -- things neither of you have ever tried before -- that can be yours beyond what your families did.

Most of all, even if your Christmas tree is fake, don't let what the holiday means become artificial. It's a celebration of the greatest gift ever given. To help your relationships thrive this Christmas, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I want Christmas to be a time of family bonding, but everybody seems to get caught up in their own thing (usually including technology of some type). If/when we are all in the same place at the same time, there's generally a screen involved (a movie or TV). How can we change this pattern?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: This takes a lot of intentionality, especially since entertainment technology is so pervasive in our day-to-day lives. Tech isn't bad; it just needs limits.

Building relationships takes time and the intentional effort to be actively engaged with someone else. Families I've counseled who see success in this area have made proactive decisions to establish balanced limits on tech as a household. Those parents go beyond the what ("no phones at the dinner table") and help their kids understand the why -- and then enforce the standards consistently.

I suggest that you sit down as a family and draw up guidelines and a menu of options for alternate activities. Kids, especially, may not be pleased with the shift at first. But they should get on board as they see that you are prioritizing time with them and you all experience increased connection. Involve the children in jointly developing a list of creative ideas that may or may not include technology. Consider everyone's age, preferences and personality, and take turns selecting things to do together.

Board games, hikes, video game tournaments, cooking, hide-and-seek, building snowmen, caroling in your neighborhood -- the list is endless. A key idea to keep in mind is creating versus just consuming. For example, eating cookies is more fun if you baked them together. Or, instead of just watching a movie, make and edit one of your own with your collective phones.

This Christmas, try to be an intentional parent who uses reasonable and helpful limits to work toward being more connected as a family. That's a gift for everyone!

P.S. Intentionality is one of the "7 Traits of Effective Parenting" (see www.focusonthefamily.com/7traits).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My father is a retired engineer and has virtually everything he wants, so it's almost impossible to buy presents for him. He insists we shouldn't get him anything for Christmas. But I want our children to learn to be giving, and we all want to honor Grandpa. Do you have any advice?

Jim: They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, the way to a father's (and grandfather's) heart is through the almost-lost art of handwritten notes.

Dads won't often admit it, but most of us love handwritten notes from our children. The messages don't have to be long and complicated, either. Just a few quick lines that speak from the heart -- something special he's done, a fond memory, or tell him the influence he's had in your life.

Your dad is much more likely to throw away store-bought cards unless there's something meaningful written inside. Dads love to hear that they've made an impact in their kids' (and grandkids') lives and that you appreciate that influence. You can't buy a more meaningful gift, and -- unlike another tie -- he won't throw this gift away.

And if you're a dad, remember this: Your children will treasure the personal notes that you write to them. You probably connect with your children when you're roughhousing or wrestling on the floor. But don't forget to express your love through tenderness, too. Write a few quick lines that highlight what your children are doing well and what you love about them.

Handwritten notes with their unique flourishes and scribbles connect us with the person who wrote them. Texts and emails are useful, but they don't connect us at a human level. Christmas is a great time to put pen (or crayon) to paper and say, "I love you."

Q: Every year we host the extended family for Christmas day. And every year my wife gets more stressed about it all. I don't even know what to say to help her -- any ideas?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: The holidays should be times of celebration and fun. But all too often Christmas becomes a source of stress that we just don't need.

I think a primary reason is expectations, real or imagined. In other words, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by what "should" be included in a celebration (and women are especially vulnerable to this). Sometimes those expectations are very specific: "Christmas dinner always includes these nine dishes because that's how Grandma did it." Sometimes they're more subtle -- particularly if they're self-inflicted. ("I just know everybody expects me to cook a more extravagant meal than Aunt Betty did at Thanksgiving.") And the bigger the gathering, the more perceived pressure.

I would suggest sitting down with your wife as soon as possible and talking about all of this. Ask her what stresses her the most. Discuss where those expectations are coming from -- and are they even real? Does Uncle Bob actually want or expect three dessert choices, or is pumpkin pie sufficient? Is it necessary to have two elaborately wrapped gifts for each person under the tree? Strategize together about what can be included versus what could be, and what will be good enough.

And here's the kicker: plan ahead and "man up." Ask your wife now for some very specific tasks that you (and the kids) can do to help out. Load/unload the dishwasher; take out the trash as soon as the can is full; refill the punchbowl and ice trays; etc. I predict you'll see the stress level ease as your wife recognizes she won't have to do everything herself -- or even everything she expects.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.