Q: Since my daughter became a teenager, it feels like I'm raising a little monster. I'm ashamed to say that sometimes I just want to pull away and separate from all the drama. What do you suggest?

Jim: I've got two teens in the house, so I understand. That sweet little toddler who used to meet you at the front door every night after work doesn't even want to be in the same room with you now.

But remember this when your teenager's attitude makes home life feel like a monster movie: Just help her get through it. A teen's emotions are often in turmoil, which can make them easily angered and irritated. (Just think back to how you felt at that age.) That means you'll have to work hard to maintain boundaries and respect in the home.

Of course, if your child's behavior is dangerous or out of control, seek professional help. Otherwise, understand that this time in your daughter's life has to run its course. And, most of the time, it will. Your job is to help her keep her outer life stable despite the emotions she's feeling inside. And someday, she'll thank you for it.

For more tips on helping teens thrive, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I have never understood movie ratings -- especially what standards are used to decide how a film is rated. And who makes that decision? Can you explain the process?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: While the folks at the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) wear a lot of hats, they're best known for rating films for content issues with the familiar G, PG, PG-13, R or NC-17. But here's some history: Long before these letter-ratings existed, early MPAA pioneers drafted a self-regulatory ethics list in 1930, known as the Production (or Hays) Code, outlining dos and don'ts concerning what could be shown in all American movies.

The 1930 Hays Code specifically prohibited nudity, profanity, illegal drug use, clear depiction of violent crime, etc. It can best be summarized by its first General Principle: "No picture shall be produced which will lower the moral standards of those who see it." (For the record, though, it also exhibited contemporary racial bias.)

Obviously, those guidelines didn't hold up as studios continually pushed the envelope. Finally, in 1968, the MPAA transitioned to the familiar system of letter-ratings, which advise viewers of roughly what a movie does portray (instead of mandating what it can or can't).

Fortunately, there are still films today that uphold the mostly forgotten standards of yesteryear. Many don't, of course, and as a result really do "lower the moral standards of those who see (them)."

What's more, today's anonymous group of MPAA reviewers -- which sadly represents (primarily) the interests of the major studios -- uses nebulous "criteria" for ratings that leave me scratching my head most of the time. For instance, the MPAA's PG-13 is the group's way of communicating that you should be perfectly comfortable letting your child view any film so rated once he hits his 13th birthday. I take issue with that because (1) not all 13-year-olds have the same maturity, and (2) a lot of what passes for "family fare" these days would have been rated R just a handful of years ago -- by the same group!

Since the MPAA's ratings basically can't be trusted, a better approach -- although I run the risk here of coming across self-serving -- is utilizing an online resource like our very own PluggedIn.com, which spells out objectionable content. We don't tell you to go or not to go; we just equip you with the detailed information of what's in a film (music, TV and games, too), so you can decide for yourself.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I'm a dad with two preteen sons. I want them to enjoy the same sports and hobbies I do; I think that will keep us close as they grow up. Do you have any advice?

Jim: As parents, I think we all want to see our kids follow in our footsteps. But we have to be careful to not take that idea too far.

Some years back, a study from Canada revealed that parents who want their children to discover a passion for music or sports need to take a hands-off approach. Say you're a fan of golf. There's nothing wrong with encouraging your son to take up the sport, but don't push him into it. I'm sure you'd want him to hit the fairway for the joy of the game. But he might just be doing it out of a sense of obligation -- or the fear of disappointing you.

The Canadian study revealed another danger with forcing your kids to pursue only the hobbies that you think they should. Some kids with high-pressure parents will embrace the hobbies Mom and Dad select for them, but they'll become obsessed. Their hobby will often consume them. Their entire identity can become wrapped up in being a quarterback or a clarinet player. But when they throw an interception or play a wrong note, their self-esteem plummets.

Certainly, as parents, we need to be persistent about impressing morals and values -- the difference between right and wrong -- on our kids. But when it comes to hobbies, sports and other pastimes, we need to grant them some autonomy. I still want each of my boys to be a chip off the old block, but I remind myself to let (and help) Trent and Troy develop the specific gifts and talents God gave them. It's not about me.

Q: I know my husband isn't a mind reader. But after 10 years of marriage, I think he at least ought to know when I have a need. Having to tell him I want to spend time together or I need affection kills the romance. It's frustrating!

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Most of us know our spouses can't read our minds, but we often act like we expect them to anyway. It's a source of conflict for many couples.

Hey, I get it. It feels good when my wife picks up on my body language and comes alongside me in the way I'd hoped. But that's not the kind of thing that can sustain a relationship long-term.

Successful couples work hard to learn each other's needs. But they also understand that marriages are dynamic -- and that husbands and wives are, themselves, constantly changing. That means, at any given moment, your spouse may not be aware of what you're feeling. And if he does sense you have a need, he may not know exactly how to respond. Expecting your mate to read your mind sets up them -- and your relationship -- for failure.

One of the most enlightening things any of us can do is to occasionally reverse the roles, so to speak. In my case, that's asking myself: "How would I feel if Erin expected of me what I'm expecting of her right now?"

So tell your spouse when you need their attention, a hug or an opportunity to share your feelings. No one is in a better position to understand -- and communicate -- your needs than you. Mind readers may exist in romance novels and traveling carnivals, but you won't find one in marriage.

If this continues to be a source of tension in your marriage, I invite you to call our staff counselors at 1-855-771-HELP (4357) or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: I know I've gotten a bit overweight. I've tried all sorts of diets, etc., but I just can't seem to lose even a few pounds. It's very discouraging and affects how I feel about myself. Should I just accept that I'll never succeed?

Jim: I can sympathize. In my mind, I'm still the svelte teenage athlete I once was. But reality is something different!

There's no real mystery to why we gain weight. We take in more calories than our bodies can use, which is easier than ever to do. Portion sizes have grown larger, and fast-food and pre-packaged meals are now staples of the modern diet. Americans also tend to be less active than past generations.

So obesity is pretty easy to understand. But so are the nuts-and-bolts of exercise and nutrition. Our activity levels need to go up, and our time in front of TVs and on the internet needs to go down. Solutions can be as simple as walking 30 minutes each day. Exercise doesn't have to be strenuous; just get moving. As for nutrition, keep it simple. Fad diets don't last. So make food choices you can stick with over the long haul.

But this all misses a bigger question: If good health is that basic, why is it so hard to lose weight? The answer is that changing bad habits is tough. To stay on track, you need the support of others. Research shows that people who have a strong community of support are more likely to lose weight and keep it off.

So what's the key to shedding those unwanted pounds? A little bit of grit -- and a whole lot of encouragement from people you trust. Don't go it alone anymore.

Q: My husband and I are so busy that it feels like our lives run us, not the other way around. We're worried about how this is playing out in our parenting, especially since our energy is so low when we get home. How do we address this problem?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: You're definitely not alone in this -- our whole culture runs nonstop. As parents, we have to be the ones pressing the pause button of life to gain perspective and shift our mindset. It's all about being intentional.

Being intentional means prioritizing how to invest your time and energy. It's recognizing the importance of establishing boundaries -- learning to say "no" to some things so that you can focus on your kids. And it's about understanding yourself well enough to know what recharges you; for example, maybe using your lunch break to work out, read a book ... or even take a quick nap! Finding a balance strengthens your ability to parent well.

Parenting doesn't demand perfection, but it does require the intentionality to effectively manage your:

1. Time. Obviously, we all have a limited amount of time to work with, but your schedule is yours to manage. You might be surprised how small adjustments can add up to make a big difference.

2. Attention. What captures your attention -- and why? Again, attention is something you control, but you'll have to be intentional about where it's pointed. You can give your kids attention up-front through your relationship, or you'll most likely spend a lot of time correcting and dealing with behavior issues down the road.

3. Boundaries. What are your priorities modeling for your children? What can you say "no" to in order to say "yes" to your family?

Intentionality may sound simple, but it requires energy and time -- two things many of us feel we lack. So we have to adjust our priorities accordingly. For more on intentionally prioritizing -- one of the "7 Traits of Effective Parenting" -- see focusonthefamily.com/parenting.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.