Q: My spouse and I are trying to dream together about our future, but we're struggling. It's hard to see past our present stage in life. What would you suggest?

Jim: Thinking about the future can be fun and energizing. But I think it's a good idea to reflect on your past, too -- especially if you feel stuck.

Reminiscing is a valuable activity for couples to engage in from time to time. There's a bond that forms between two people who have shared experiences together. Your past is more than a collection of random memories. It represents a journey you and your spouse have taken together that infuses your relationship with richness and meaning. And it's the launch pad for your next mission of discovery.

That's why reminiscing is especially helpful for those who have been married for a long time. It's healthy to remember the good times you've shared and the difficulties you've faced and overcome. It can encourage you to hope for good times ahead and remind you of the troubles you can get through if you stick together.

But reminiscing is for new couples, as well. If you're a newlywed, you obviously don't have many years' worth of shared experiences to reminisce about. But you do probably have a lot of good memories together from the months or years before you got engaged. Reflect on those times, even if they weren't that long ago.

Intimacy doesn't develop in the newness of a relationship, but over the miles you travel together through life. Fun memories about when you first met, your first date, or other funny or heartwarming stories from your relationship are crucial building blocks that will carry you into the future.

Q: I'm fairly new at the parenting game. Are there times when I should simply chill out and refrain from disciplining a kid who misbehaves?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: To some extent, child discipline is just common sense and more art than science -- a skill acquired gradually and almost imperceptibly. So, relax, take it one day at a time, and allow the parent-child relationship to unfold naturally. As the years go by, you'll perfect your skills in a very normal and intuitive way.

In the meantime, the only kind of behavior that merits disciplinary action is willful disobedience. Otherwise, there are some rather obvious situations where traditional disciplinary action is not appropriate:

-- Normal exploratory behavior in infants and toddlers. Little ones need the freedom to discover their environment without getting their hands slapped. Childproof your home by keeping fragile items out of their reach.

-- Toilet training. This can't be rushed. A harsh response to failure only creates confusion, anxiety and frustration for the child.

-- Bed-wetting. This physiological event is usually not under conscious control, and rarely (if ever) responds to rewards or punishment.

-- Accidents. Again, if the behavior wasn't willful or intentional, it doesn't call for discipline. But it's fair and appropriate to require an older child to help clean up or repair, especially if carelessness was involved.

-- Irritability and negativity specifically related to illness or extreme fatigue. Extend grace for grumpiness when your child simply doesn't feel well, is "hangry" or tired.

-- Less-than-perfect report cards. If a child's school performance is falling short of his or her capability, more self-discipline may be the answer. But kids shouldn't be punished for not having straight A's.

-- Performance in sports. If the child chooses to engage in sports and cares deeply about succeeding, parental support and encouragement is extremely important. But they shouldn't be forced to play against their will or beyond their skill level.

If you'd like to discuss this subject with our staff counselors, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I've got a successful career in sales. I connect well with my clients and have no problem communicating on an adult level. But I struggle relating with my two young kids. I want to be a good dad to them. How can I learn to speak "child"?

Jim: Believe it or not, you may already have a finely honed skill that'll get you most of the way there. "Mirroring" is a common sales technique that may actually help you with your parenting.

Researchers have found that sales representatives who mirror their customers' emotions and mannerisms are more likely to close a deal. It helps the customer feel at ease and believe the salesperson really understands their needs. As a result, the customer is more likely to trust the sales rep and take his or her advice.

The idea of mirroring can also be an effective technique for moms and dads who want to connect with their children. It's pretty straightforward: Pay close attention to your kids' individual personalities, then be sensitive to those unique traits as an open door to each child's heart. For example, with a daughter who is quiet, maybe your best conversations will happen after bedtime stories. On the other hand, if your son is always on the move, he might talk with you more easily when you're playing a game together.

Parenting is a big job. We have to connect with our children so they'll learn to trust what we say above all the competing messages that bombard them each day. The bottom line: If we meet our kids on their level, by mirroring their personalities and interests, we stand a greater chance of influencing their lives.

You can find plenty of ideas and practical tools to help your family thrive at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I've been appalled by the widespread reports of sexual harassment in Hollywood (and other arenas). But I can't help but think that the movie and music industries have created an internal climate that contributes to these issues -- and spreads to the rest of us. What's your take?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: I most certainly agree with you. But I think down the road these high-profile accounts of sexual harassment -- and the MeToo movement in general -- may have a silver lining. I'll explain. Imagine for a moment if these accounts were met with a collective cultural yawn, or groupthink along the lines of "boys will be boys." As you know, that happens in Hollywood in various areas. For instance, as a Christian I'm outraged over the misuse of Jesus' name as a swear word in films. But, culturally: yawn, for sure!

The good news here is that the widespread response to these high-profile harassment accounts has been one of indignation and a national (even global) demand for change. That's exactly what such stories call for! I do believe the way men perceive and treat women will improve. It won't be perfect, of course. But I guarantee you that a number of folks -- inside Hollywood and culturally at large -- got the memo that women (and men) are not commodities, meat or objects.

Back to your question: Does the industry itself encourage such treatment? How could it not? When nudity and sex scenes become virtually mandatory in moviemaking, that fosters a "power differential" between directors and producers on one side, and on the other young aspiring actresses who are desperate to get their names in lights. As you say, Hollywood's internal climate is a significant contributing factor.

One can only hope that the MeToo movement leads to Hollywood insiders working more toward selling tickets by telling great stories, rather than showing more flesh.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: As a newly married couple, we're trying to sort out our budget and set realistic financial goals. We're kind of stuck on knowing how much to save. What do you suggest?

Jim: You don't have to be married for long to see how money can set the tone for your entire relationship. It's either a source of stability or a frequent point of conflict. That's why it's a good idea for spouses to get on the same page financially -- especially when it comes to the topic of savings.

Here's an example. She believes they should put away as much money as possible for a rainy day. He feels they should enjoy life now and spend their income however they want. As you can imagine, that's a recipe for some pretty sharp disagreements.

But that doesn't have to be your story. You can avoid conflict like that if you'll discuss your expectations and put together a plan you can agree on. How much money should you save for emergencies? That depends on how you earn it. If you make a steady income, consider at least three to four months' worth of expenses. If your income fluctuates from week to week, raise that figure to six months. And if you think you don't make enough money to save anything, try setting aside $25 a month. That may not seem like much, but I promise you it'll add up.

The key point is to find some common ground with your spouse and start small. And don't let your fear of not saving "enough" prevent you from getting started in the first place.

For more money and marriage advice, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I've been dating this guy for several months, and we're close to getting engaged. Sure, he has a few habits that mildly irritate me, but that's normal, right? Overall, I think there's a lot of potential, especially once we tie the knot.

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I'm glad you're being proactive and thinking about this now. One of the most common mistakes engaged couples make is marrying who they hope their spouse will become instead of who they already are.

When a couple is dating, they tend to overlook each other's bad habits. Maybe one is chronically late or spends too much money while the other smokes or has a short temper. Whatever the issue, guys and gals are often so caught up in the euphoria of dating they make a common mistake: They ignore how they feel about their mate's behavior. That's because in almost every case, couples think, "Once we get married, he or she will change all of that."

That's a dangerous game to play. It's not unusual for conflict between a new husband and wife to kick in over behaviors that were present all throughout the dating season.

That's why, before you get married, decide whether you can be content with your potential husband even if he never changes a thing. After all, there are no guarantees your future spouse will change in the ways you hope he will (and that goes both ways, from his side as well).

Of course, the best marriages are when couples strive each day to improve as individuals and to grow together. But sadly, that doesn't always happen as smoothly as people think it will. So, before your wedding day, make sure you're marrying your spouse for who they are, not who you hope they'll become.

We have tons of resources and tools to help you assess your present relationships, prepare well for marriage and get your life together off to a great start. Visit us at FocusOnTheFamily.com/marriage/preparing-for-marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.