Q: I've got a successful career in sales. I connect well with my clients and have no problem communicating on an adult level. But I struggle relating with my two young kids. I want to be a good dad to them. How can I learn to speak "child"?

Jim: Believe it or not, you may already have a finely honed skill that'll get you most of the way there. "Mirroring" is a common sales technique that may actually help you with your parenting.

Researchers have found that sales representatives who mirror their customers' emotions and mannerisms are more likely to close a deal. It helps the customer feel at ease and believe the salesperson really understands their needs. As a result, the customer is more likely to trust the sales rep and take his or her advice.

The idea of mirroring can also be an effective technique for moms and dads who want to connect with their children. It's pretty straightforward: Pay close attention to your kids' individual personalities, then be sensitive to those unique traits as an open door to each child's heart. For example, with a daughter who is quiet, maybe your best conversations will happen after bedtime stories. On the other hand, if your son is always on the move, he might talk with you more easily when you're playing a game together.

Parenting is a big job. We have to connect with our children so they'll learn to trust what we say above all the competing messages that bombard them each day. The bottom line: If we meet our kids on their level, by mirroring their personalities and interests, we stand a greater chance of influencing their lives.

You can find plenty of ideas and practical tools to help your family thrive at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I've been appalled by the widespread reports of sexual harassment in Hollywood (and other arenas). But I can't help but think that the movie and music industries have created an internal climate that contributes to these issues -- and spreads to the rest of us. What's your take?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: I most certainly agree with you. But I think down the road these high-profile accounts of sexual harassment -- and the MeToo movement in general -- may have a silver lining. I'll explain. Imagine for a moment if these accounts were met with a collective cultural yawn, or groupthink along the lines of "boys will be boys." As you know, that happens in Hollywood in various areas. For instance, as a Christian I'm outraged over the misuse of Jesus' name as a swear word in films. But, culturally: yawn, for sure!

The good news here is that the widespread response to these high-profile harassment accounts has been one of indignation and a national (even global) demand for change. That's exactly what such stories call for! I do believe the way men perceive and treat women will improve. It won't be perfect, of course. But I guarantee you that a number of folks -- inside Hollywood and culturally at large -- got the memo that women (and men) are not commodities, meat or objects.

Back to your question: Does the industry itself encourage such treatment? How could it not? When nudity and sex scenes become virtually mandatory in moviemaking, that fosters a "power differential" between directors and producers on one side, and on the other young aspiring actresses who are desperate to get their names in lights. As you say, Hollywood's internal climate is a significant contributing factor.

One can only hope that the MeToo movement leads to Hollywood insiders working more toward selling tickets by telling great stories, rather than showing more flesh.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: As a newly married couple, we're trying to sort out our budget and set realistic financial goals. We're kind of stuck on knowing how much to save. What do you suggest?

Jim: You don't have to be married for long to see how money can set the tone for your entire relationship. It's either a source of stability or a frequent point of conflict. That's why it's a good idea for spouses to get on the same page financially -- especially when it comes to the topic of savings.

Here's an example. She believes they should put away as much money as possible for a rainy day. He feels they should enjoy life now and spend their income however they want. As you can imagine, that's a recipe for some pretty sharp disagreements.

But that doesn't have to be your story. You can avoid conflict like that if you'll discuss your expectations and put together a plan you can agree on. How much money should you save for emergencies? That depends on how you earn it. If you make a steady income, consider at least three to four months' worth of expenses. If your income fluctuates from week to week, raise that figure to six months. And if you think you don't make enough money to save anything, try setting aside $25 a month. That may not seem like much, but I promise you it'll add up.

The key point is to find some common ground with your spouse and start small. And don't let your fear of not saving "enough" prevent you from getting started in the first place.

For more money and marriage advice, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I've been dating this guy for several months, and we're close to getting engaged. Sure, he has a few habits that mildly irritate me, but that's normal, right? Overall, I think there's a lot of potential, especially once we tie the knot.

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I'm glad you're being proactive and thinking about this now. One of the most common mistakes engaged couples make is marrying who they hope their spouse will become instead of who they already are.

When a couple is dating, they tend to overlook each other's bad habits. Maybe one is chronically late or spends too much money while the other smokes or has a short temper. Whatever the issue, guys and gals are often so caught up in the euphoria of dating they make a common mistake: They ignore how they feel about their mate's behavior. That's because in almost every case, couples think, "Once we get married, he or she will change all of that."

That's a dangerous game to play. It's not unusual for conflict between a new husband and wife to kick in over behaviors that were present all throughout the dating season.

That's why, before you get married, decide whether you can be content with your potential husband even if he never changes a thing. After all, there are no guarantees your future spouse will change in the ways you hope he will (and that goes both ways, from his side as well).

Of course, the best marriages are when couples strive each day to improve as individuals and to grow together. But sadly, that doesn't always happen as smoothly as people think it will. So, before your wedding day, make sure you're marrying your spouse for who they are, not who you hope they'll become.

We have tons of resources and tools to help you assess your present relationships, prepare well for marriage and get your life together off to a great start. Visit us at FocusOnTheFamily.com/marriage/preparing-for-marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My wife and I don't fight that often, but when we do, it seems to escalate quickly. I think we're both at fault. One of us says something snide, and the other responds with something that's a bit angrier and a bit louder. Then back and forth it goes. How do we nip this in the bud?

Jim: I think most couples know exactly what this is like; you don't necessarily mean to escalate things, but it happens. A few years ago, I interviewed a relationship expert for our radio broadcast, and he called this "climbing the crazy ladder."

Fighting as a couple is like racing up an emotional ladder. The thing about ladders is you can go up fast, but coming down quickly is a lot harder. In other words, once a disagreement has escalated into a heated argument, it's much more difficult to calm things down.

Also, it's really unstable at the top of a ladder. The problems between a husband and wife don't get easier to resolve when a disagreement escalates into a heated argument.

As couples, we not only need to stay off the crazy ladder for the sake of our marriages, but we also need to do it for our children if we have them. There's plenty of research that shows children suffer lifelong repercussions when they're exposed to chronic, poorly handled conflict.

The best advice is not to go up the crazy ladder in the first place. Learn how to stay calm, discuss your differences rationally, and resolve your problems in a way that strengthens your marriage instead of weakening it. The first step might be the willingness to say, "Honey, we're climbing the crazy ladder again." We have many resources to help at FocusOnTheFamily.com. You can even contact our staff counselors for advice and assistance.

Q: Our two daughters (ages 13 and 7) fight and bicker all the time. We've talked many times about the need to be kind, loving and forgiving. They always promise to do better next time, but nothing ever changes. How can we help them overcome this sibling rivalry?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: I think most families deal with sibling conflict at some point. It happens with my children -- usually at the most inconvenient times! Overcoming sibling conflict takes consistency, focus and time, so keep these three things in mind:

Stay calm: This is difficult when children are bickering; it's "ninja level" parenting. Breathe deep and remember that you're teaching them how to handle relationships and resolve conflict -- skills we all need as we mature. Take time to understand each of your daughters' perspectives. Their age and personalities factor in, as well.

Listen and Teach: Carefully listen to your children, help them identify the real issue between them, and involve them in finding solutions and setting consequences. The agreement in our home is, after five minutes of fussing, the kids have hired me for $1-a-minute to help them sort the conflict. We work on taking turns listening, practicing empathy ("What's it like to be with me?") and asking, "What do I really want?" They're learning to self-reflect and put themselves in the other person's shoes. It's not always perfect, but this is an unnatural skill for all of us.

Provide consistent limits: If the children are rude, mean or physical, you have to intervene with consequences. I know several families who do this: Whoever is being a bully must clean the toilets, signifying that the issue needs to be flushed out of the home. There are many other options for consequences, from time-outs to losing privileges or toys (with the opportunity to earn them back).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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