Q: I love my adult son and am very proud of him. But I think he works too much and seems too busy for his own children (my grandkids). What can I do to help this situation?

Jim: This scenario places you in a delicate position as a grandparent. On the one hand, you may feel your child's priorities need some adjustment. On the other, it's important not to use that issue to drive a wedge between your grandchildren and their parent.

For example, you don't want to attend your grandchild's soccer game and say, "It's too bad your dad can't show up for your games. But I'll be here for you." That comment will only set the child and the parent at odds with each other.

Instead, try to be a bridge. Say something like, "I'm sorry your dad couldn't make it today. But I'm thrilled to be here to watch you, so I can tell him all about how well you did." Words like that will help protect their relationship until, hopefully, the parent comes around.

The bottom line is you love your grandkids and your child. As a grandparent with years of life experience and wisdom, you can play a subtle, but important, role in their relationship. If your adult child still has some growing to do as a parent, strive to be a bridge between him and his kids. Over time, the insights you have developed throughout your own life can hopefully benefit all concerned and be a positive influence in drawing them closer together.

We have plenty of help available for parents and grandparents at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: Our son is just starting school. We expect him to get good grades, but also want him to develop character. How can we encourage him in both areas?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: If asked which is their top priority for their kids -- good grades or good character -- most parents would probably answer "good character" right away. But research shows your child's academic achievement may be more important to you than you think.

In a 2014 study conducted at the Harvard School of Education, 10,000 junior high and high school students were asked whether their grades, their happiness or their character was more important to their parents. Eighty percent of the children said their grades or their happiness was a topic of conversation much more often than their character. That should make any parent stop and think.

These topics are important. But character wins out in the longer perspective of life. And when it comes to the workforce, researchers find emotional intelligence to be a better predictor of job success than academic intelligence.

There's certainly nothing wrong with encouraging your children to bring home a great report card. But will you cheer them on when they reach out to a friend who's lonely, or when they show patience toward a younger sibling? Help them recognize the value of being truthful and the maturity of accepting responsibility for their mistakes. And make sure to notice and celebrate their hard work at school, even if they don't end up with a 4.0 GPA.

As parents, we have incredible influence in our kids' lives. So it's vital to remember that children learn far more by how we act than by what we say. If you applaud them for their academic performance, make sure it's balanced with celebrations and awareness of their character growth as well. Take time to notice when they display respect, compassion, patience and kindness toward others, and they'll be much more likely to prioritize those life qualities and repeat the behavior.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I've heard some about your organization. I guess helping people with their marriages is a good thing. But wouldn't all that effort be better directed toward something more important, like combating poverty?

Jim: Thanks for asking this. In a limited venue like this column, I'd summarize our perspective with an illustration. The late Southern novelist Pat Conroy described a broken marriage best when he said, "Each divorce is the death of a small civilization." He was absolutely right.

Divorce doesn't just split up a husband and wife or separate kids from their parents. The breakdown of the family is one of the most overlooked reasons for the high poverty rate in America.

I've experienced the reality of that firsthand. My own father abandoned our family when I was just 5 years old. Our world fell apart. We quickly slipped into poverty. My mother was forced to work full-time as a waitress to make ends meet. So not only did I stop seeing my father regularly, but my mom was not home in the afternoons and evenings, and I was off to school in the mornings before she woke up. That was our routine. It's the routine for thousands of other families as well.

Consider some of these factors: Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent afterward. Almost half of the parents with children who go through a divorce drop below the poverty line. In general, children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling and math. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation. Low education rates perpetuate the cycle of poverty.

It doesn't get reported in the media very often, but if we want to decrease poverty, we need to save marriages. Stable families form the bedrock of any society. That's part of why we do what we do.

Q: My boyfriend and I want to get married eventually, but we've been told that living together for a few years will help us prepare before making things "official." What do you think?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Living together almost seems to have become the new engagement. The problem is that research shows the divorce rates for those who live together before marriage are significantly higher than for those who don't.

Cohabitation is a risky venture because there's no commitment holding the relationship together. It's essentially two people saying to one another, "I'll hang out with you as long as you make me happy." That's a shaky foundation to build a life on. It infuses doubt and mistrust into the very DNA of your relationship from the get-go. In other words, you're sabotaging your marriage before you even walk down the aisle.

I think a lot of young adults are choosing to live together because they're afraid to commit. Maybe their parents divorced, or they've been swayed by negative messages about marriage in the culture. Whatever the reason, I believe these couples want to get married and stay married.

The biggest problem is most don't know how to prepare for marriage properly. They don't realize they can learn how to build a successful relationship. And that's too bad because premarital counseling can make a lifetime of difference.

If you doubt that, consider this: Eighty percent of couples who get quality premarital training stay married. That percentage of success shows that there is a way for couples to make a lasting commitment to one another. We have loads of resources and information available to help your relationship thrive at FocusOnTheFamily.com/marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My husband is more than willing to play with the kids. But when it comes to the practical side of parenting -- dinner, diapers, bath times -- I don't think he pulls his weight. What's a woman to do?

Jim: I've heard this complaint from many wives. Men and women often have different understandings about parenting. You may feel it's natural that tasks be shared equally. But for your husband ... well, it might not be so obvious.

It could be he wasn't expected to help around the house when he was younger. Or maybe his parents had clearly defined roles that now guide his thinking.

Whatever the reason, communication between a husband and wife in these situations is key. So start by sharing your concerns and see if, together, you can agree on ways to split household duties to your mutual satisfaction.

If dialogue doesn't do the trick, counselors often suggest you set appropriate boundaries to motivate his involvement. For example, let him know he'll likely have to fix his own dinner since you'll be busy with other things, like feeding and bathing the kids or cleaning the house and grocery shopping. The idea isn't to punish your husband, but to help him understand the realities of the workload around the house. If he's into sports, you might try using team-based descriptions to illustrate how different players may change assignments based on the game situation and play design.

Fortunately, most guys will get the picture and step up. But if this is still a source of tension in your marriage, I invite you to call our staff counselors at 1-855-771-HELP (4357). Or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com for more information.

Q: We have a 4-year-old daughter who is a very picky eater. Every meal seems to turn into a fight. Can you offer some practical ideas for easing this conflict?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: The first thing I'd suggest is this: Don't panic over a finicky child who wants the same food for every meal. I know one family whose two young boys asked for corn dogs and pizza, no matter what was served. The parents didn't give in to those requests, but also didn't leave their sons at the table for hours until they finished their spinach.

When kids are hungry, they eat. As a parent, you get to make the initial choice of what foods are going to be available in the home and shop accordingly. But in that context, try involving your daughter in choosing and making the meals. When children participate in this way, in many cases they inevitably taste a variety of foods and get accustomed to a range of options. They also feel some ownership of the food.

You can be creative and play "gas station" with your 4-year-old at meal times. Explain that filling up our bodies is a lot like driving and riding in cars. You can't skip the gas station; and if you put the wrong fuel in, or none at all, the car/body won't work right. The ideas are endless. As your child gets older, help her identify and distinguish "fuel" foods from "pleasure" foods.

Of course, through the years I have also worked with several children who had sensory issues. This presents a different challenge. If you try various creative ideas to get your child to eat and nothing seems to work, she may need to be evaluated by an occupational therapist. An assessment can help determine if there are any sensory processing issues that create a reaction to certain textures or tastes when it comes to food.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.