Q: I've heard some about your organization. I guess helping people with their marriages is a good thing. But wouldn't all that effort be better directed toward something more important, like combating poverty?

Jim: Thanks for asking this. In a limited venue like this column, I'd summarize our perspective with an illustration. The late Southern novelist Pat Conroy described a broken marriage best when he said, "Each divorce is the death of a small civilization." He was absolutely right.

Divorce doesn't just split up a husband and wife or separate kids from their parents. The breakdown of the family is one of the most overlooked reasons for the high poverty rate in America.

I've experienced the reality of that firsthand. My own father abandoned our family when I was just 5 years old. Our world fell apart. We quickly slipped into poverty. My mother was forced to work full-time as a waitress to make ends meet. So not only did I stop seeing my father regularly, but my mom was not home in the afternoons and evenings, and I was off to school in the mornings before she woke up. That was our routine. It's the routine for thousands of other families as well.

Consider some of these factors: Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent afterward. Almost half of the parents with children who go through a divorce drop below the poverty line. In general, children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling and math. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation. Low education rates perpetuate the cycle of poverty.

It doesn't get reported in the media very often, but if we want to decrease poverty, we need to save marriages. Stable families form the bedrock of any society. That's part of why we do what we do.

Q: My boyfriend and I want to get married eventually, but we've been told that living together for a few years will help us prepare before making things "official." What do you think?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Living together almost seems to have become the new engagement. The problem is that research shows the divorce rates for those who live together before marriage are significantly higher than for those who don't.

Cohabitation is a risky venture because there's no commitment holding the relationship together. It's essentially two people saying to one another, "I'll hang out with you as long as you make me happy." That's a shaky foundation to build a life on. It infuses doubt and mistrust into the very DNA of your relationship from the get-go. In other words, you're sabotaging your marriage before you even walk down the aisle.

I think a lot of young adults are choosing to live together because they're afraid to commit. Maybe their parents divorced, or they've been swayed by negative messages about marriage in the culture. Whatever the reason, I believe these couples want to get married and stay married.

The biggest problem is most don't know how to prepare for marriage properly. They don't realize they can learn how to build a successful relationship. And that's too bad because premarital counseling can make a lifetime of difference.

If you doubt that, consider this: Eighty percent of couples who get quality premarital training stay married. That percentage of success shows that there is a way for couples to make a lasting commitment to one another. We have loads of resources and information available to help your relationship thrive at FocusOnTheFamily.com/marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My husband is more than willing to play with the kids. But when it comes to the practical side of parenting -- dinner, diapers, bath times -- I don't think he pulls his weight. What's a woman to do?

Jim: I've heard this complaint from many wives. Men and women often have different understandings about parenting. You may feel it's natural that tasks be shared equally. But for your husband ... well, it might not be so obvious.

It could be he wasn't expected to help around the house when he was younger. Or maybe his parents had clearly defined roles that now guide his thinking.

Whatever the reason, communication between a husband and wife in these situations is key. So start by sharing your concerns and see if, together, you can agree on ways to split household duties to your mutual satisfaction.

If dialogue doesn't do the trick, counselors often suggest you set appropriate boundaries to motivate his involvement. For example, let him know he'll likely have to fix his own dinner since you'll be busy with other things, like feeding and bathing the kids or cleaning the house and grocery shopping. The idea isn't to punish your husband, but to help him understand the realities of the workload around the house. If he's into sports, you might try using team-based descriptions to illustrate how different players may change assignments based on the game situation and play design.

Fortunately, most guys will get the picture and step up. But if this is still a source of tension in your marriage, I invite you to call our staff counselors at 1-855-771-HELP (4357). Or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com for more information.

Q: We have a 4-year-old daughter who is a very picky eater. Every meal seems to turn into a fight. Can you offer some practical ideas for easing this conflict?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: The first thing I'd suggest is this: Don't panic over a finicky child who wants the same food for every meal. I know one family whose two young boys asked for corn dogs and pizza, no matter what was served. The parents didn't give in to those requests, but also didn't leave their sons at the table for hours until they finished their spinach.

When kids are hungry, they eat. As a parent, you get to make the initial choice of what foods are going to be available in the home and shop accordingly. But in that context, try involving your daughter in choosing and making the meals. When children participate in this way, in many cases they inevitably taste a variety of foods and get accustomed to a range of options. They also feel some ownership of the food.

You can be creative and play "gas station" with your 4-year-old at meal times. Explain that filling up our bodies is a lot like driving and riding in cars. You can't skip the gas station; and if you put the wrong fuel in, or none at all, the car/body won't work right. The ideas are endless. As your child gets older, help her identify and distinguish "fuel" foods from "pleasure" foods.

Of course, through the years I have also worked with several children who had sensory issues. This presents a different challenge. If you try various creative ideas to get your child to eat and nothing seems to work, she may need to be evaluated by an occupational therapist. An assessment can help determine if there are any sensory processing issues that create a reaction to certain textures or tastes when it comes to food.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: The past three years I've made a New Year's resolution to work out and lose weight. And every year I lost momentum within a few weeks. I feel guilty about breaking my promise to my family -- and myself. What can I do differently this year?

Jim: Many of us make some sort of resolution this time of year, and a lot of those involve healthier living. According to psychologists, guilt might get you to start exercising, but it's unlikely to keep you going.

It's a good idea to take a proactive approach to eating right and getting healthy exercise. But you need to be strategic. Michelle Segar, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, suggests the problem is that most of us start an exercise program out of guilt. We feel it's something we have to do. But we'll only continue exercising if we're able to realize that not only does exercise help us feel better, it also improves the quality of our life.

Dr. Segar says society has made the mistake of making exercise feel like a "chore" instead of the gift it really is.

Studies have shown that people who run, walk or go to the gym together tend to exercise much more consistently than those who don't. Some think it's a matter of accountability, but it's more likely due to the fact that most of us thrive in the company of like-minded friends. Among fellow exercisers, a warm camaraderie usually develops -- where people connect on various levels, depending on the stage of life.

So, I suggest that you find a friend or two -- and you might soon find a new and healthy routine. As the saying goes, any load is easier to bear when someone else helps with the lifting.

To help your family thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My husband and I have decided that this coming year, we want to take a strategic approach to how we handle entertainment in our household. Bob, if you could offer every parent just five tips of media advice, what would they be?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: That's a great question. Here are my top-five suggestions:

1) Choose your family entertainment choices based on bettering yourselves. People give all sorts of reasons for their selections. Take movies, for instance. Many will watch a film simply because of the buzz, an ad they saw on TV, who's in it, how it did financially opening weekend and/or the special effects budget. I'm not saying those things are unimportant. But first and foremost, we should be asking: "Will this film make me (and my kids) a better person? Will it inspire, encourage and uplift?" If it doesn't, why bother?

2) Get into your kids' entertainment world. Do you know your children's favorite musicians? Video games? TV shows? Ask today. Then ask at least every six months. Research their choices at PluggedIn.com

3) Know what your children are doing for entertainment when they're at someone else's home. If the form of entertainment doesn't meet your household's standards, be quick to supply a great alternative.

4) Model it. If you as parents privately consume media that you'd be embarrassed about if your kids found out, know this: Someday they will. I don't know why exactly, but it just works that way in life!

5) Put things in writing. When our children were growing up, I wrote out a "family media constitution" that gave us some written guidelines to fall back on. We all signed and dated it. And it helped tremendously. I recommend you post it in a public place in your home.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.