Q: The past three years I've made a New Year's resolution to work out and lose weight. And every year I lost momentum within a few weeks. I feel guilty about breaking my promise to my family -- and myself. What can I do differently this year?

Jim: Many of us make some sort of resolution this time of year, and a lot of those involve healthier living. According to psychologists, guilt might get you to start exercising, but it's unlikely to keep you going.

It's a good idea to take a proactive approach to eating right and getting healthy exercise. But you need to be strategic. Michelle Segar, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, suggests the problem is that most of us start an exercise program out of guilt. We feel it's something we have to do. But we'll only continue exercising if we're able to realize that not only does exercise help us feel better, it also improves the quality of our life.

Dr. Segar says society has made the mistake of making exercise feel like a "chore" instead of the gift it really is.

Studies have shown that people who run, walk or go to the gym together tend to exercise much more consistently than those who don't. Some think it's a matter of accountability, but it's more likely due to the fact that most of us thrive in the company of like-minded friends. Among fellow exercisers, a warm camaraderie usually develops -- where people connect on various levels, depending on the stage of life.

So, I suggest that you find a friend or two -- and you might soon find a new and healthy routine. As the saying goes, any load is easier to bear when someone else helps with the lifting.

To help your family thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My husband and I have decided that this coming year, we want to take a strategic approach to how we handle entertainment in our household. Bob, if you could offer every parent just five tips of media advice, what would they be?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: That's a great question. Here are my top-five suggestions:

1) Choose your family entertainment choices based on bettering yourselves. People give all sorts of reasons for their selections. Take movies, for instance. Many will watch a film simply because of the buzz, an ad they saw on TV, who's in it, how it did financially opening weekend and/or the special effects budget. I'm not saying those things are unimportant. But first and foremost, we should be asking: "Will this film make me (and my kids) a better person? Will it inspire, encourage and uplift?" If it doesn't, why bother?

2) Get into your kids' entertainment world. Do you know your children's favorite musicians? Video games? TV shows? Ask today. Then ask at least every six months. Research their choices at PluggedIn.com

3) Know what your children are doing for entertainment when they're at someone else's home. If the form of entertainment doesn't meet your household's standards, be quick to supply a great alternative.

4) Model it. If you as parents privately consume media that you'd be embarrassed about if your kids found out, know this: Someday they will. I don't know why exactly, but it just works that way in life!

5) Put things in writing. When our children were growing up, I wrote out a "family media constitution" that gave us some written guidelines to fall back on. We all signed and dated it. And it helped tremendously. I recommend you post it in a public place in your home.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: We usually do Christmas as "just" our immediate household. A friend suggested we invite some neighbors over. What do you think?

Jim: Christmas is a delightful time of year. The parties, the festive decorations, the music -- everyone seems so cheerful and happy. But not everyone is.

Studies indicate that Christmas is the most likely time of year for people to suffer depression. That's probably because this holiday, more than any other, is a time of joy, celebration and family. Yet, for many, all that positive emotion only highlights the depths of their loss. It could be the passing of a loved one that's left a home empty and cold. Or maybe it's unresolved conflict that's separated a family and kept them distant. Whatever the issue, it's a common time of year for people to struggle against isolation and loneliness.

I understand that feeling all too well. Christmas of my sophomore year of college was a desperate time for me. Having grown up as an orphan, I had no home to go to for the holiday. So while all of my friends were enjoying family dinners, I sat alone in a completely empty dorm with no heat, eating food from the vending machines. During that time, I longed for someone to reach out to me.

This Christmas season there may be hurting people around you. Reach out to them. Let them know you care and help them feel connected. Your simple gesture may be just the ray of hope they need during a lonely and difficult time. And you might well make a new friend or three in the process.

Q: We try to make Christmas a reflective time in our family, emphasizing "the reason for the season." But on Christmas morning, that seems to fly out the window in a flurry of discarded wrapping paper. What can we do to keep things in focus?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: Christmas is certainly a time of excitement, especially for little ones who've been eagerly anticipating it. But it's also easy to get caught up in the enthusiasm and lose track of why the presents are under the tree and ready to open. Curbing our human impatience takes intentionality.

I would suggest that you slow down as a family, taking frequent breaks while opening presents to savor the moment before moving on. There's no rule saying you have to open all the gifts in one sitting. Many households pause first to read the Christmas story from the Bible. Some will read a classic Christmas poem or tale. Admittedly, it may be a bit challenging with anxious youngsters eyeing the packages under the tree.

Many families take turns opening gifts one by one, then let the kids enjoy one present for a while. Some stop after a round or two and sing Christmas carols before resuming the unwrapping.

It's always a great idea to incorporate gratitude into the process. For example, before each person opens gifts -- or even each present -- ask him or her to pause to express gratitude. It might be appreciation for a particular character quality of the person who gave the gift ("Grandma is always so patient with me"). Or, acknowledging things that person did or said this year for which you're especially grateful ("John, thanks for encouraging me when I was having a hard time in English class"). The point is to connect the gift with the giver, and the love that's expressed through giving.

It may take a Christmas or two to find a good rhythm as a family. But intentionally slowing things down will help everyone remind themselves of the meaning of Christmas -- and enjoy it even more.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I went through an ugly divorce earlier this year. It's been very painful for both of my children as well. They're angry and have been dreading the possibility that their dad might ask them at the last minute to spend some of their Christmas break with him. What can I do?

Jim: Coming from a broken home myself (before being orphaned), I know well that divorce doesn't just tear couples apart. It can drive a wedge between children and their parents as well. And there can be plenty of anger to go around, which impacts all concerned.

Here are a few ideas from our counselors. First, encourage your children to express their hurt or angry feelings. Don't try to correct them. Just give a listening ear. If they're uncomfortable speaking to you, help them find other outlets for their emotions, such as journaling, music or art.

The second idea could be the most important: Model genuine forgiveness toward your ex-spouse (easier said than done, I know). If you're angry, your behavior could be confirming every negative thought your children have. Try to communicate a tone about the absent parent that will make it easier for your kids and ex-spouse to draw closer instead of further apart. For the sake of your kids, if you must voice negative feelings about the divorce, express them to someone else, not the children.

Finally, if necessary, find a third party who can help your kids work through their feelings. If you're not capable of filling that role yourself, set up an appointment with a pastor or a counselor.

If you feel it would be helpful to speak with one of our staff counselors, call us at 1-855-771-HELP (855-771-4357). Or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com to find a therapist in your area.

Q: My wife and I got married last spring. We wanted to have our first Christmas as just us, and our families reluctantly agreed this time. But we just found out we're expecting. Once the baby comes, I'm sure every year will bring pressure from both sides (in different parts of the country) about where to spend the holidays. What can we do going forward?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I think any couple that's been married for any length of time has had some tension about where to spend Christmas. Should you spend it with her family or his?

Often, a lot of the pressure for this decision comes from the extended family members themselves. Her parents might insist on having their girl at home on Christmas morning. But his mom is fixing a huge dinner and says she'll be hurt if he isn't at home to share in it. And things can get downright ugly once there are grandchildren involved!

To help navigate this minefield, it's important to remember two principles: be fair, and be flexible.

When it comes to being fair, try to come up with a solution that works for both of your extended families. That might mean spending Thanksgiving with one family, and Christmas with the other, and then switching off the next year.

It's also important to be flexible and to think about what is in the best interests of those around you. Perhaps spending half the holiday in airports is not what your budget -- or your kids -- will handle well. Be realistic each year, and don't be afraid to tell your extended family if it's honestly not a good idea for you to travel.

The bottom line for husbands and wives is to engage in healthy communication on the subject of where to spend the holidays -- just like any other area in marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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