Q: We moved into a new (larger) house this year. So for the first time at Christmas, the entire extended family will be under one roof: ours. What can we do to manage the stress of hosting?

Jim: This should be the most joyous time of the year -- but often it's the most stressful. I think a big reason is the amount of expectation we pour into the holidays.

We put expectations on ourselves and our family members, and they have expectations for how they want things to go as well. It's a special time of year, and we want the house to be perfect, the gifts to be perfect, the meals to be perfect. Everything must go off without a hitch.

The trouble is, holidays rarely work out as perfectly as we'd like because there are too many variables that can go wrong. And the moment our expectations get dashed, then stress, disappointment and conflict aren't far behind.

The most obvious solution is to lower your expectations. Of course, that can be a little tricky because we often don't realize just how high our expectations really are until it's too late. The best way to defuse that problem is to talk about everything ahead of time.

So as you're finalizing your Christmas get-together this year, talk with your spouse or other family members about how you hope things will go. And then proactively discuss how you can adapt if (when) necessary. It may not seem like much, but conversations like that can make a big difference. They'll help you put things in their proper perspective. And those lowered expectations can create just enough wiggle room for you to stay calm when things go differently than you expect.

Q: My 10- and 13-year-old kids have been pushing me to let them watch PG-13 movies. Most reviews I find don't tell much about aspects of the films' content that concern me as a mom. I'm afraid my older kids' attraction to these movies will influence my younger ones (ages 5 and 8). Help!

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: A crucial task of parenting is guiding our children in areas where their thoughts and character are being impacted. Ultimately, we don't just want our kids to exhibit right behaviors; they need to internalize the right principles that then direct those actions and attitudes.

Sadly, the values portrayed in popular media are often not the best ones for children to adopt, so we've got to pay close attention to what they're taking in. Since they'll be making more and more of their own choices as they get older, it's vital that they learn to exercise discernment for themselves regarding entertainment.

The good news: You are the most influential voice in your children's lives. Take time to discuss your family's values and compare/contrast them with those in popular entertainment. Remind your kids that their choices impact not only their thoughts, life and character, but also the mental processes that influence those thoughts and character. Help them take ownership of their minds, their decisions and their lives.

On that note, talk about personal freedom -- not just the liberty to choose what they want to watch, but the ability to choose well. Highlight that their choices affect not only themselves, but also their younger siblings, who are looking up to and being influenced by them -- for good or bad.

One helpful tool in teaching (and exercising) wise media discernment is PluggedIn.com, where you can read detailed reviews of movies, television programs and music. Take time to discuss the reviews together.

Teaching entertainment discernment requires time and effort, but you can do it and it's worth it!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Our kids made their Christmas lists early this year. Reading through them, I'm taken aback at how ... well, self-centered they are. How can we adjust their point of view?

Jim: Most children have a tendency to feel that the world revolves around them. Our culture encourages this problem by telling kids -- and adults, frankly -- to be self-centered, to look out for No. 1. As parents, we have to work hard to help our kids look beyond their own interests and to develop empathy for others.

Author Silvana Clark addresses this issue in her book "Fun-Filled Parenting." She suggests that one of the best antidotes for self-centeredness is to volunteer as a family. It might be donating some items to a local shelter, or hosting a neighborhood car wash and giving the proceeds to charity. Picking up trash at the park, taking part in a church service project, putting together care packages for the troops ... the possibilities are endless.

According to Clark, volunteering can help children learn four valuable lessons. First, it helps them understand that they're not the center of the universe. Second, it enables kids to learn responsibility and gain self-confidence. Third, it puts them in touch with community resources and groups that depend on volunteers. And finally, volunteering helps children build relationships with positive role models -- men and women who have invested their lives in reaching out to others.

It's important that we as moms and dads model service and self-sacrifice for our children, but it's even better if we can get the kids involved in the same activities. Make volunteering a family affair! It will draw you closer together, and you just might make some lasting memories in the process.

For more tips on how to help your family thrive, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My marriage of 17 years is basically dead. My husband and I are both done with it, but we have agreed that we'll stay together for the children (ages 15 and 13) until they're both out of the house. That will at least be a positive for the kids, right?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: That's what a lot of couples on the verge of divorce say. According to a number of studies, they're right. But there's a lot more at stake here.

Children whose biological mother and father stay married are less likely to get into trouble, to use drugs or to be sexually active at an early age. They're also more likely to complete college and to enjoy a successful marriage of their own. Those are the kinds of positive results we all want for our children. It all starts with keeping your marriage together.

BUT -- even better is to get your relationship on a path toward healing. Staying together for your children but fighting every night in front of them is counterproductive. Severe conflict in your home can unravel all the good you're trying to do on their behalf.

A healthy home environment is one where children see their mom and dad work through their differences and live out their love for one another. Don't stay together for the kids' sake only to stay miserable in your marriage. Seek help for your problems and find common ground.

If you and your husband are both willing to try, I would strongly suggest one of our Hope Restored Marriage Intensives (hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com). At the very least, please call our counselors at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

You and your spouse don't have to be strangers living together under the same roof. Do yourselves and your children a favor: Stay together and get your marriage healthy.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My wife and I have a good marriage. I'd like to make it even better, but I'm not very adept at the "warm and fuzzy" stuff. How do I move our relationship from good to great?

Jim: I hear this type of question a lot from men. I think it's basically a matter of perspective, so I encourage them to approach their relationships with their wives like they would a teammate.

Like a lot of guys, I was involved with sports throughout my childhood, and I've spent my adult years working with some great organizations. One thing I know: When you create a culture of respect and hard work among teammates, you can be successful at just about anything. I once heard a two-time Super Bowl champion say it this way: "When teammates give their best as individuals, they make each other better."

The best teams aren't always those with the best players. Winning often comes down to teammates who are willing to work hard themselves and to motivate one another toward excellence. Play as hard for the guy next to you as you do for yourself. That's key to success -- not just in sports, but also in business, and particularly in marriage.

Your wife is your teammate through life. Be willing to work as hard at your relationship with her as you do your job, your business or the hobbies you give so much time to. Know your role on the team and handle your business. I'm sure she has a few things that she needs to work on, too, but that shouldn't be your primary focus. You'll only motivate her to improve her part in your marriage if you step up and improve yours. And when everybody does their part, the team succeeds.

For more ideas to help your marriage thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: Like most teens, ours are never without their smartphones. They're good kids, but I've heard there are apps these days that look innocent, but actually hide photos and videos. Tell me about that.

Bob Waliszewski (Director) and Bob Hoose (Senior Editor), Plugged In: Yes, unfortunately, there are quite a few of these sneaky applications. We'll highlight just two to make a point.

The first is an app designed to look and function as a calculator (Private Photo–Calculator). If you want to calculate how many miles per gallon you got on your last tank full, it'll do the trick. But once someone enters the right set of numbers -- something that's set up with the app's first use -- it opens a private area and reveals all the various pictures, videos and notes a user may have tucked away under the calculating cover.

The other app declares itself to be an innocuous audio manager (for both Android and iOS), but it, too, hides away stuff the user doesn't want spying eyes to see. On the surface, it's indeed a functional audio app. But if you give it a long press, the actual "Hide It Pro" will launch. And, under a password lock-out, it can hide pictures, videos and even other apps. You can find several tutorials on YouTube from people who, sadly, think this app is a great idea.

If you're wondering whether your teen might have such an application, you'll want to go to the app store while using the phone in question. Then type in the word "secret" or "calculator" or any other app name you may have questions about in the store's search feature. As you scroll through, if you see the word "Open" or "Installed" connected with any given app, well, that means junior has it on the phone -- and it's probably time for a serious conversation about why.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.