Q: My wife and I have a good marriage. I'd like to make it even better, but I'm not very adept at the "warm and fuzzy" stuff. How do I move our relationship from good to great?

Jim: I hear this type of question a lot from men. I think it's basically a matter of perspective, so I encourage them to approach their relationships with their wives like they would a teammate.

Like a lot of guys, I was involved with sports throughout my childhood, and I've spent my adult years working with some great organizations. One thing I know: When you create a culture of respect and hard work among teammates, you can be successful at just about anything. I once heard a two-time Super Bowl champion say it this way: "When teammates give their best as individuals, they make each other better."

The best teams aren't always those with the best players. Winning often comes down to teammates who are willing to work hard themselves and to motivate one another toward excellence. Play as hard for the guy next to you as you do for yourself. That's key to success -- not just in sports, but also in business, and particularly in marriage.

Your wife is your teammate through life. Be willing to work as hard at your relationship with her as you do your job, your business or the hobbies you give so much time to. Know your role on the team and handle your business. I'm sure she has a few things that she needs to work on, too, but that shouldn't be your primary focus. You'll only motivate her to improve her part in your marriage if you step up and improve yours. And when everybody does their part, the team succeeds.

For more ideas to help your marriage thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: Like most teens, ours are never without their smartphones. They're good kids, but I've heard there are apps these days that look innocent, but actually hide photos and videos. Tell me about that.

Bob Waliszewski (Director) and Bob Hoose (Senior Editor), Plugged In: Yes, unfortunately, there are quite a few of these sneaky applications. We'll highlight just two to make a point.

The first is an app designed to look and function as a calculator (Private Photo–Calculator). If you want to calculate how many miles per gallon you got on your last tank full, it'll do the trick. But once someone enters the right set of numbers -- something that's set up with the app's first use -- it opens a private area and reveals all the various pictures, videos and notes a user may have tucked away under the calculating cover.

The other app declares itself to be an innocuous audio manager (for both Android and iOS), but it, too, hides away stuff the user doesn't want spying eyes to see. On the surface, it's indeed a functional audio app. But if you give it a long press, the actual "Hide It Pro" will launch. And, under a password lock-out, it can hide pictures, videos and even other apps. You can find several tutorials on YouTube from people who, sadly, think this app is a great idea.

If you're wondering whether your teen might have such an application, you'll want to go to the app store while using the phone in question. Then type in the word "secret" or "calculator" or any other app name you may have questions about in the store's search feature. As you scroll through, if you see the word "Open" or "Installed" connected with any given app, well, that means junior has it on the phone -- and it's probably time for a serious conversation about why.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I'm estranged from my adult daughter. I definitely wasn't the best father, although I've changed for the better in recent years. But I haven't spoken to her since she was 17; she's 35 now. I'd love for our relationship to be rekindled, but I don't know if I should reach out or wait for her to show interest in me.

Jim: My heart goes out to both of you; I expect that there have been many things over the years that have led to this difficult situation. It's good to know that you, at least, have been able to make some positive improvements.

Most children, no matter how young or old they are, naturally think of their mom and dad as the "grown-ups" in the relationship. So, unless there's some kind of extenuating circumstance, take the lead. Reach out to your daughter and initiate contact. Show your interest in her. A little humility will go a long way.

Just as important, be willing to persevere. You can't give up inviting your daughter into your life at the first sign of adversity. Respect the fact that your history together may not be entirely positive. Allow her some space for doubt or for old wounds that haven't been resolved yet.

And take heart. Son or daughter, 15 or 50 -- deep inside, every child longs to reconcile with his or her father or mother. Some children are always open and ready, while others may be angry or still distrust you in some way. Even if they're motivated to reconnect, it may take a bit of a journey for their hearts to soften. Just keep your heart open and keep taking the lead.

Our staff counselors would be happy to help if you'd like to discuss this matter further. Feel free to call them at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: My girlfriend and I -- both college freshmen -- have been dating about five months. We want to marry within two years, but my parents (who have always been strict and controlling) think we should wait at least until we graduate. What's your take?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Research demonstrates that the first three to six months of a relationship make up the "infatuation" stage. Basically, couples are "in love with being in love," and are unlikely to view their dating partner or the relationship realistically. That's why we usually advise couples to date for at least a year before getting engaged.

Holding off on marriage for a couple of years sounds like a good call. But I'd suggest that for the first half of that period, you continue to date without becoming formally engaged. In other words, take some time to get to know each other on a much deeper level before locking yourselves into a commitment.

Meanwhile, you can greatly increase your chances for marital success if you commit to a structured, reputable premarital counseling program that includes personality testing. The relationship test developed by Prepare/Enrich (couplecheckup.com) has an incredible success rate at predicting which couples will have a happy marriage and which couples will be divorced within a few years.

Finally, consider the wisdom of your parents' advice. They know you better than you may think they do, and probably have good reasons for recommending that you finish school before plunging into marriage. You've apparently got their support, at least in the general sense, so they must agree that the two of you make a good match. That's a hopeful sign.

Your marriage might work out fine if you marry during college, but your chances for success increase if you give your relationship an extra year or two.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My widowed mother is still pretty independent, but I worry about her being vulnerable to scam artists who victimize the elderly. How can I protect her against this kind of abuse?

Jim: We've all heard the despicable horror stories. Help your mom learn to watch out for threats and to recognize common types of fraud:

-- Identity theft. Identifying numbers -- Social Security, credit card, driver's license, telephone, bank account -- can be stolen from a purse or wallet, taken from the mailbox or receipts in the trash, and even obtained over the phone on an invented pretext. If your mom uses a computer, install anti-malware software.

-- Home-maintenance fraud. Beware of prepaid improvements or repair (siding, roofing, driveways, etc.) offered at greatly reduced prices. Once paid, the con artist disappears or uses inferior materials. Ask about affiliations with professional trade associations and consumer agencies. It's best to avoid hiring workers who solicit door-to-door.

-- Telemarketing and mail fraud. Be aware of glossy mail-order ads and smooth-talking appeals over the phone or TV that market unneeded goods and services. Solicitors apply pressure to order immediately using a credit card because the offer is "limited." Beware of requests for checking account numbers.

-- Sweepstakes, gambling and lotteries. Sweepstakes letters lure seniors with promises of "guaranteed prizes." Marketers of gambling and lotteries target the elderly.

-- Health and medical fraud. Simply put, never invest in health-care products or treatments without first consulting with a doctor or pharmacist.

-- Financial fraud. Living trust scams, investment fraud, pyramid schemes, phony "associations" and the "bank examiner scheme" are all commonly aimed at elderly people. Make sure your mom has a comprehensive financial plan for her personal investments, insurance and estate. A reputable financial planner can help her put her affairs in order. Then it should be easy and automatic to say no to all solicitations.

For additional information on this topic, I'd encourage you to consult with several helpful organizations: The National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (n4a.org); Caregiver Action Network (caregiveraction.org); and National Center on Elder Abuse (ncea.aoa.gov).

Q: Our daughter is almost 10 years old. I've assumed that "the conversation" about puberty was still a ways off, but now I'm not so sure; she's growing up so fast. What do I need to know?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: There's some debate about why it's happening, but there's no question that puberty is occurring earlier and earlier in girls. For some, it could be as young as 7 or 8. Puberty brings about big changes in a girl's physical development and body image. And that can be scary if she isn't prepared for what's coming. That's why helping your daughter learn what to expect can be crucial to her building a healthy identity.

From a practical standpoint, it's usually best if Mom handles these conversations if possible. She has the personal experience to draw from, and daughters tend to feel more comfortable with another female. This means single dads might want to consider having a trusted family member help out, or perhaps a woman whom your daughter knows and respects.

This conversation takes a bit of preparation. Our organization provides numerous helpful resources at FocusOnTheFamily.com/parenting, including a free downloadable guide on these issues (focusonthefamily.com/thetalk).

The main thing is to connect with your daughter and reassure her that the coming changes are normal. Be positive and encouraging. And remember, even if your daughter has already entered into puberty, it's not too late to have an open conversation. This is a great opportunity to reinforce that you're there to support and walk with her as she grows into womanhood.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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