Q: When my father died recently, I was struck not only by my own loss, but also my children's -- now they won't have Grandpa around anymore. Dad was a huge influence on me, and it hurts to think that my kids will miss out on his wisdom and encouragement as they grow. How can I replace that?

Jim: I'm very sorry for your family's loss. Losing a treasured loved one is always difficult, but especially when there's been a close relationship with multiple generations sharing in each other's lives.

You obviously can't "replace" Grandpa himself, but perhaps you can find someone else to help fill the gap. There are thousands of folks around us -- veterans, nursing home residents and others -- who are growing old alone. One survey of more than 16,000 care centers in the United States found that only 15 percent of the residents received visitors. In other words, eighty-five percent didn't receive visits from anyone -- not friends, not family, not even a chaplain. We can do better. And it's a natural fit for our children.

In that vein, perhaps you could consider "adopting" someone in the elder generation, and giving your kids the chance to build a relationship with a surrogate grandparent. Your children can gain a lot from seasoned wisdom, experience and example -- and brighten someone's world in return.

Meanwhile, if you need to talk to caring person about your Dad's death -- and even how to help your children process it -- I hope you'll feel free to call our staff counselors at 1-800-232-6459. They would be happy to help.

Q: I'm horrified whenever I see something in the news about cyberbullying; my son is about to start middle school, and he's fairly sensitive. I want him to enjoy making new friends and connecting with people through various means, but I'm also worried. How can I help guard his heart without being over-protective?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: I wish I could help alleviate your concern by citing statistics showing that cyberbullying is a rarity, like being struck by lightning. Sadly, that's not the case; 40 percent of all teens have been cyberbullied at least once. One out of five teens has been cyberbullied on a regular basis. A whopping 95 percent of social media users say they've witnessed it online.

First, you need to ask your son if he's ever felt bullied in a general sense. Then transition to cyberbullying. Has he been affected or has someone he knows? How has he responded?

Let your son know that should it ever happen (or if it already has), you want to be aware and help him walk through it. Make sure he understands that depending upon the severity, there are times when a bully's parents should be notified, possibly school administrators, sometimes law enforcement. Assure him that you will help facilitate this process.

Furthermore, help him gain a sense of confidence. While we all know the middle-school years can be rough, your son needs to realize that confidence is a life skill that can be developed. I suggest a two-fold approach. Make sure he grasps that all human beings have a God-given value, independent of what others think or say, and independent of what he can or will accomplish.

That said, in a parallel fashion, it still helps if your son can feel good about a special talent. Can he play the piano well? Does he have a good jump shot? Can he solve computer problems like Steve Wozniak? Make sure he can hold his head up high because of these gifts. When others tell him he's not much -- either in person or digitally -- he can trust that the error must be with the bully, not with himself.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: Our 14-year-old son wants to start playing football. My husband is all-in, but I'm reluctant due to the injury risk. Do you have any advice?

Jim: I personally love football, but I also know firsthand how rough it can be -- my playing days ended with a broken collarbone in high school. Football is a great sport that teaches kids many good qualities, including teamwork, and helps them get in shape. But parents and children need to be aware of the risks associated with such a rough contact sport.

According to the journal Pediatrics, football accounts for about 22 percent of all concussions among 8- to 19-year-olds. In fact, the study's researchers found that 27 percent of football players ages 12 through 17 have had a least one concussion.

Other research has identified a serious condition called chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.), which can develop after repeated concussions and trauma.

On a broader scale that encompasses all sports, studies by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons show that young people are facing more serious injuries than ever before -- torn ligaments, dislocated shoulders, neck and knee injuries and strained muscles and joints -- all from high school athletics.

I'm certainly not slamming youth sports. But as parents, we may need to help our kids find a balance between athletics and other less physically demanding activities. If your children are involved in high-impact sports year-round, you might encourage them to take a season off to pursue other interests and allow their bodies to heal. Even though they're young and energetic, teens need time to rest and recuperate, just like the rest of us.

If and when our kids get hurt, we shouldn't push them back out on the field too soon. Playing when you're injured isn't tough -- it's negligent. Along those lines, make sure that coaches and trainers are properly qualified to assess injuries (especially concussions), and are fully committed to placing player safety above any other outcome. If the coach's perspective is "win at all costs," your child will be better off playing elsewhere or trying a different activity.

Q: My husband and I are having some real difficulties in our marriage. We want to fix things, but we're overwhelmed trying to figure out how. Help!

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: When your marriage is in crisis, it can be overwhelming. You and your spouse probably have a lengthy list of complaints about one another, and neither of you knows how to resolve them -- or if you should even try. I'd humbly suggest that you don't begin with the "how"; start with the "why."

The "how" details are important, of course, because we do need practical solutions to our problems. But the mechanics of fixing a relationship won't typically breathe life back into your marriage.

So, in addition to the nuts and bolts, give special attention to the why. Think (and talk) about why you fell in love in the first place. What were the dreams you once held for your relationship together? What do you hope your marriage could look like if it were healthy and whole?

Answers to the "why" questions are what revive desire between a husband and wife. They also motivate couples to work hard at healing their relationship. As the well-known saying goes, "Where there's a will, there's a way."

Once you have that foundation re-established, then work on the "how." We have plenty of tips and resources available at FocusOnTheFamily.com/marriage -- including the Focus on Marriage Assessment, which evaluates the strength of 12 essential traits of your relationship (it's free and takes about 10 minutes to complete). For couples on the brink of divorce, we offer Hope Restored Marriage Intensives. And our staff counselors are available to help by calling 800-232-6459.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: I'm a newlywed soon-to-be dad. I never knew my own father, so when I think about teaching my son to be "manly," I'm intimidated. What does "manliness" really look like?

Jim: I think a common misperception is that "manliness" equates to brute power and strength. But when it comes to being a good father and husband, I'd suggest something else. How about "sacrifice"?

"Sacrifice" is considered a weakness by a lot of guys. That's too bad, because when you look at healthy families you generally see a common trait: sacrificial men. These are the guys who go to their kids' soccer games even if they'd rather stay home and watch football. They're patient with their kids when a bike gets left in the rain for the umpteenth time. Men who sacrifice develop stronger, more loving family relationships.

It's a paradox, really. We're at our strongest when we lay down our lives, even in small ways, for our wives and children. It can be hard to do, and we don't always do it well. But that's why it's called "sacrifice."

As fathers, we have to challenge ourselves to sacrifice for our families. We should not only tell them we love them, but show them that they're the most important people in the world to us. It could be leaving work early for a special dinner with our wives. Or maybe it's staying patient and lovingly correcting your children when they're careless and scratch your car. Sacrifice will lead you to make significant choices. But being a dad is a significant experience.

For help with your fathering, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: Is there anything special we need to know about raising twins? We just became the proud parents of two precious children, and we'd like to get our family off to a good start.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: Apart from the fact that it's twice the work (and twice the fun!), raising twins doesn't differ significantly from the rearing of other children. Generally speaking, it's based on the same foundational principles of love, limits and close parental involvement. However, there are some special considerations to keep in mind, particularly if you've been blessed with identical twins (my father-in-law is an identical twin).

The natural closeness and identification between two kids growing up in this situation is a wonderful thing. But it can also tend to obscure the individual identities of the children involved.

There's nothing wrong with highlighting the similarities between your twins -- for example, by dressing them in identical clothes when they're small. But you should also be looking for ways to appreciate and emphasize their differences. Make a point of allowing both kids to be themselves. As much as possible, love and discipline each one individually, according to his or her own temperament and personality. Dozens of detailed studies, involving over 14,000 pairs of twins, have emphasized that each child is unique and needs a different parenting response.

As your kids grow older, check in with them from time to time to see how they're doing. Ask questions like, "How does it feel to be a twin in this family? What can we do to strengthen our relationship?" In short, do everything you can to ensure that the uniqueness of each child isn't overlooked.

In the meantime, don't neglect your own needs as parents and as a couple. Invest time and effort in building and maintaining a strong support system. Don't be afraid to request help from parents, relatives and friends. Plan regular date nights, and work to keep your marriage healthy and strong.

Raising twins is a big job, and it can be exhausting at times -- but completely worth it!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.