Q: I studied art in college and married before graduation. Four years later, I spend my time preparing meals, wiping the noses of jelly-faced toddlers and mopping the kitchen floor -- while my still-single sorority sisters have thriving careers in graphic design and other artistic disciplines. I love my kids, but ... I admit I'm somewhat jealous. Should I just abandon those artistic dreams? That part of my life seems long gone.

Jim: I'd like to answer with an illustration you might not have considered. As many starving writers, painters and musicians will tell you, art matters a great deal whether or not it generates commercial success. It matters because it flows directly out of our humanity; we were created to create.

In that context, I'd suggest that as a homemaker -- a nurturer of children and shaper of an environment in which they can grow, thrive and flourish -- you're a creative artist of the highest degree. Your present medium may not be clay or paint or an iPad, but impressionable young human lives. You're sculpting character every day.

Furthermore, as your children grow, you're well equipped to help them discover their gifts and talents. You can guide them in developing their own forms of artistic expression -- and create right along with them.

As they progress through school, you may have opportunity to slip into the workforce or pursue formal art as a hobby. Schedule "me time" each week, starting now, to pursue your artistic passion. But regardless, being a mom is a high calling -- and the lives you shape have more value than any painting ever could. In fact, you might be surprised how many of your "successful sorority sisters" are likely jealous of you.

Q: With two preschoolers in the house, it seems like my wife and I seldom connect anymore. She always talks about how tired she is after being with the kids all day. What can I do to reinforce our relationship?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: When you arrive home after your long, tiring day, remember that your wife has had an equally long, tiring day. She needs two things most of all: (a) adult conversation, including overt appreciation for her efforts, and (b) an adult pair of hands to pitch in, take charge of the children, wrangle dirty clothes or other debris, or begin any other activity to lighten her load. Beyond that, here are some tips:

1. Don't expect to be taken care of like another child in the house. Pick up your own clothes and toys.

2. Don't expect much sexual response if your wife is exhausted and you haven't set the mood during the course of the evening. Remember, sex begins in the kitchen -- with meaningful conversation, compliments, acts of kindness and some elbow grease applied to helping reduce her to-do list.

3. Get involved in (or even take over) the process of getting your kids ready for bed. It will help you stay connected with them, and do wonders for your wife's frame of mind.

4. Maintain a regular date night -- a meal (fancy or otherwise), a concert, a walk, whatever your imagination and budget can manage -- in which the focus is conversation and companionship. Make it a point to keep your wife current on your day's activities and find out about hers.

5. Take her away for a romantic weekend, or even dinner and an overnight stay, at a pleasant location where her daily responsibilities are suspended. (With planning and creativity, this doesn't have to be expensive.)

6. Call or text her during the day to offer an encouraging word or simply say, "I love you."

7. Flowers and gifts for no particular reason speak volumes.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: We're considering adopting a baby boy who was removed from his birth home due to abuse when only a few months old. He has been in the foster-care system for the past year. What kind of risks are we facing?

Jim: You deserve a lot of credit for your willingness to adopt a child from a troubled background. I want to encourage you in this endeavor, but also advise you to proceed with your eyes wide open.

Our counselors highlight that there's no one-size-fits-all pattern here -- every situation is unique. Much depends on the individual circumstances of the child you're planning to adopt and the type of foster care he received after he was removed from his home. Some children who are abused, neglected or moved from caregiver to caregiver during their first couple of years of life can develop significant emotional and behavioral problems, or even suffer from a phenomenon known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. However, some abused and neglected children are extremely resilient and display an astounding ability to thrive and grow once they're settled in a stable environment.

We'd suggest that you gather as much information as you can from the child's social worker -- and, if possible, the foster parents. This will give you some indication of the kind of care he has received and whether or not he appears to have any emotional or behavioral problems. Even if he does, that's not necessarily reason to forgo adoption.

If you do decide to adopt this child, consult with a psychologist who specializes in early childhood attachment. He or she can work with you, the current foster parents and the social worker to help ease the transition from the foster system to your home. Focus on the Family's counseling staff can provide a list of qualified child psychologists in your local area; call 1-800-232-6459.

Q: Should I tell my husband that I'm attracted to his closest buddy? I've heard that kind of information should be shared between spouses for purposes of accountability, but I'm not sure that'd be wise. Neither man has any clue of my struggle, and I don't want to jeopardize their relationship.

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Accountability is one thing, but it's something else to burden your spouse with every wayward thought and questionable impulse that passes through your mind. Each of us has to deal with our share of "internal garbage." That doesn't mean that we need to dump it on the people around us.

Being honest with your spouse -- in the sense of telling the truth -- isn't the same thing as revealing every feeling you've ever had. Yes, couples should be frank and open with each other. But in the name of openness and accountability, some people give their spouses too much information about past and present actions and thoughts. Detail and timing are always crucial considerations. Silence isn't necessarily dishonest -- in fact, sometimes the loving thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.

This is particularly true in a case like yours. If your inappropriate emotions ever do find expression in inappropriate words and actions -- and I hope and pray this never happens -- that will be the time for accountability, remorse and confession. Until then, you're better off keeping this matter between yourself and God.

That last thought -- the spiritual component -- is important. Instead of dumping on your husband and jeopardizing your marriage, confess your illicit feelings to God and seek His help to stay faithful to your marriage vows. Meanwhile, say and do only what you believe to be in the best interests of your husband, his friend and your marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: As a successful executive, I'm gratified to now be hearing from headhunters who are recruiting me for even better positions across the country. I want to provide the best for my wife and kids. Are there family principles I should keep in mind as I weigh my options?

Jim: A change to your career can be a great opportunity, or it can be the worst thing that ever happened to your family. It all depends on how you handle the choices you're facing.

Couples often make decisions about their careers based on one thing: their financial bottom line. But your family life can be severely affected as well. Say you have the chance to relocate for a new job. Is moving across the country worth leaving behind your support system of family and friends? Are your children emotionally prepared to start over in a new school? And how will the changes you're considering impact your relationships with each other as a family?

If the answer to all those questions points to making a change, you've laid the groundwork for success, not just in your career, but in your home as well. On the other hand, if all the pieces aren't in place, you're asking for trouble.

We're all trying to get ahead financially, but I encourage you not to make decisions that will compromise the most important relationships in your life. More money and responsibility are excellent achievements, but they usually come with a great deal more stress, too. Don't assume a greater income will sweep family issues under the rug.

Decisions about your career will impact far more than just your budget. Don't let your ambition for money and success come at the cost of your family. Have some foresight and make good choices that will protect what really matters.

Q: As a dad, I expect my children to meet high standards every time. That's how my father raised me, and I turned out OK. But my wife thinks we should cut them some slack. What's the balance?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: This may initially sound like terrible advice, but the truth is you should be teaching your children to fail -- and then get up. Learning to feel comfortable with your kids' failures can transform your parenting.

Think about how you reacted when your child was learning to walk. That process is really just a long string of failures that ends in success. A toddler may only take one or two steps before falling down, but we don't tell them to give up and wait a few years. No, we immediately encourage them to get back up and to try again. We'll stretch out our hands and say, "Come to Daddy." And they do. They get back to their feet and wiggle out a few more shaky steps.

But something changes in many parents as our children get older. As the consequences for mistakes become more severe, we become less tolerant of failure because we want them to succeed and do well. We'd never call it perfection, but on a practical level that's exactly what our kids feel like we expect. We have great intentions, but create unnecessary pressure that ends up working against them. They need -- and respond to -- encouragement with guidance.

So if perfection has become the unspoken rule in your house, re-center yourself as a parent. The goal is to raise healthy, resilient children, who are willing to get back up, grow from their mistakes and keep moving forward.

Encourage excellence, but help your kids know that it's OK to fail and to try again. Progress, not perfection, is what we want them to learn.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.