Q: My husband is having disturbing flashbacks as a result of active combat duty during his time in the military. I'm just starting to learn about post-traumatic stress disorder. His condition has become much worse over the past several weeks, and our entire family is deeply worried. How can we best support him?

Jim: Your family is certainly not alone: PTSD is an increasingly frequent problem in today's war-torn world. And it's understandable that many returning veterans find it difficult to share their emotional pain. In many ways they've been to the brink of hell and back, and they don't want to upset their friends and families by describing their experiences. In addition to this, they assume that only those who've experienced combat can possibly understand and appreciate the significance of their internal struggles. So they keep their mouths shut and stuff their feelings deep down inside.

In many cases the intensity of the emotional suffering endured by a combat veteran far outweighs the pain of any physical injuries he may have sustained in the line of duty. That's not to mention that psychological pain often expresses itself by way of physical or psychosomatic symptoms. Among other things, your husband's flashbacks reflect the very real connection that exists between mind and body.

For this reason, we would strongly suggest that he make an appointment to discuss his condition with a qualified physician at the earliest opportunity (if he hasn't already done so). It's possible that some of the issues he's dealing with can be effectively treated with medication.

We would also recommend that your entire family seek out the services of a licensed counselor. It's important that you walk through this experience together. Focus on the Family's Counseling Department (1-800-232-6459) can provide you with a list of qualified therapists practicing in your area.

Q: In the past two weeks, my 16-year-old daughter has sent or received over 3,000 text messages. So far it hasn't affected her grades, but I worry that this much texting is excessive and unhealthy. What should we do?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: I would agree that this frequency and level of texting is unhealthy. That said, this isn't a single-sided issue, so it's also helpful to look at the matter from your daughter's perspective. Texting is a tool she's using to stay connected with her friends -- and at this stage of life, that connection is vital to her developing sense of personal identity. To some extent, that's completely normal. For her generation, texting is almost like breathing -- kids have a hard time imagining life without it.

In that context, honestly assess the reasons for your anxiety. Is it the texting that bothers you, or is your real concern the quality of the relationships that the texting represents? Use that insight for the foundation of your discussion.

Emphasize that nothing put in text or any other form of social media can be kept absolutely private; that should always be in the forefront of your daughter's mind. Also, remind her of the addictive element inherent to any form of involvement with social media. It's easy for a habit to become an obsession, and for an obsession to become an addiction. So coach her to exercise discretion when texting or connecting with others via the web. Try to agree on reasonable limits and guidelines.

Meanwhile, encourage your daughter to think intentionally about the nature and quality of good relationships. Talk about the important differences between electronic communication and actual face-to-face time with other people. Help her gain perspective so that she, too, can approach the subject of texting from a broader and more knowledgeable point of view.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: How can I reconnect with my children after divorcing their mother and abandoning them? I regret to say that I walked out on my family several years ago. Since then, I've recognized my mistakes and changed my life (including coming to faith). I'd like to get back in touch with my kids, but they want nothing to do with me. Can you help?

Jim: It's great to hear that you've put your life on a new footing; I encourage you to keep moving in that direction. At the same time -- and as harsh as this sounds -- there's a reason your kids don't want anything to do with you. You abandoned them. We all "reap what we sow," which means dealing with the fallout of our own irresponsibility and selfishness.

You need to be realistic and proceed with caution. Your interest in re-establishing a relationship with your children is understandable and commendable. But you're going to have to earn the right to make that dream come true. This will require patience, humility and a lot of time.

Before doing anything else, you should ask yourself some tough questions: What exactly is behind your desire to reconnect with your children? Do you really have their best interests at heart? Or are you simply trying to get rid of your own feelings of guilt?

Your kids need time and space to reconnect with you. If you sincerely want what's best for them, you should make sure they get it. Let them move toward you at their own pace, which may be cautious and slow. Don't expect to start with personal visits or phone conversations. It would be much better to apologize and ask their forgiveness through letters or email.

Let them know that you understand how much pain and anger they're feeling. Tell them that you will respect their wishes regarding reconciliation. If and when they decide that they're ready to get together with you, you'd be wise to arrange a meeting with the help of an experienced family therapist. Focus on the Family's Counseling Department can refer you to a licensed professional in your area; call 800-232-6459.

Q: My marriage is in a rut. I do the same things for my wife over and over, like flowers on Valentine's Day, more out of obligation than anything else. How can I change my mindset?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Most of us have many things we do every day out of obligation, and relatively few that are defined by passion. Obviously, as adults, we perform a variety of daily tasks because some things simply have to get done. But our responsibilities too often overshadow our deeper passions. And that's where problems can begin. Duty and obligation are like bread and water -- they allow us to survive, but that's it. In order to really thrive, we need passion.

So it goes with marriage. We marry for love, romance and dreams. But the practical demands of life often overtake us. Before long, intimacy is replaced by busyness, and the passion we once knew can get lost to the duty of jobs and laundry and the paying of bills.

The good news? Passion can be restored to your marriage. It can be as simple as spending a few minutes sitting on the couch and talking with your wife about the events of the day. Or holding hands on a walk together. Discover (or rediscover) your respective "love languages" and adjust your interaction accordingly. Find ways to connect with your wife's heart and watch her, and your marriage, come alive with passion. For tips and ideas, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: How can I forgive my deceased father for his cruel words and behavior? He treated me horribly when I was a kid, so my relationship with him was strained and distant until the day he died. I never worked things out with him in person, and now I'm struggling with feelings of anger, bitterness, guilt and remorse.

Jim: It's always difficult to lose a family member, but it's even harder when we have unresolved issues with the person who has passed on. Psychologists call this "complicated mourning."

One way to begin working through your complicated mourning is to write a letter to your father as if he were still alive. Try to express the full range of your emotions. Besides the anger, bitterness and guilt, there may be a sense of deep sadness and irretrievable loss, along with frustration that you can't fix things now that he's gone. Put all this down in writing, as clearly and thoroughly as you can. After composing the letter, you might even want to visit your father's grave and read it "to him" there. That's purely symbolic, of course, but some people have found it liberating.

Once this is done, it may also be helpful to see if you can gain some insight into the workings of your father's mind. If possible, talk to your mother and other relatives who knew your dad when he was younger. What kind of relationship did he have with his parents? Did he feel loved and accepted as a child? If not, it's possible that he was simply passing this legacy on to you without fully realizing what he was doing. Sometimes knowledge of another person's background can give us empathy for them. In turn, that empathy can grant us a new perspective on the person's behavior toward us, and start to heal our own psychological wounds.

Above all else, I think there's a very real spiritual component to all of this, so I'd encourage you to talk to a pastor or Christian counselor for further insights. You can start by calling our counseling team at 800-232-6459.

Q: I'm a first-time parent, and my son is just getting to the "toddler tantrum" stage. I'm a bit overwhelmed -- how do I handle these episodes?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: That may depend on the reason for the tantrum. Is your child hungry or tired? If so, offering a snack or a nap may be all it takes to nip a tantrum in the bud.

However, if your child is frustrated over not getting his way, the best thing to do is ignore the outburst. The last thing you want to do is give in or drop everything in an effort to appease your little one. This will teach him that negative behavior pays off.

Once your child does calm down, explain that screaming won't work and that you need him to use words.

If the tantrum continues, however, you may need to use a time-out. Place your toddler somewhere without toys or entertainment, and wait for him to quiet down before allowing him to rejoin the family.

It can also be helpful to identify those triggers that set your child off. If, for instance, your toddler tends to throw a fit when it's time to leave a fun setting, prepare him in advance. A five-minute warning can go a long way toward heading off a tantrum.

Finally, remember that toddler temper tantrums are perfectly normal. And, if they're handled correctly, your child will soon learn healthier ways to express emotions. For more ideas about raising young children, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.