Q: Do you have any advice for a single woman who's in love and romantically involved with a married man? I know the decision to go down this path was foolish, but there's nothing I want more than to begin a new life with this man. He wants the same, but he's dragging his feet and seems unable to leave his wife, even though his marriage is a mess.

Jim: Your feelings are understandable in light of your eagerness to get started on a new life. You believe you're in love with this man, and I'd be the last person to discount your emotions. At the same time, I'd encourage you to take a step backward and try to gain some objectivity. It's possible that your feelings are distorting your viewpoint.

Before you do anything else, stop and picture yourself looking into this situation from the outside. Put yourself in the place of your lover's wife and children. How do you think you'd feel if you were walking in their shoes? I'd offer the strongest caution against pursuing your own happiness at the expense of their home and family.

After that, try to see things from your lover's perspective. What would you do if you were in his position? Why do you think he's "dragging his feet"?

Finally, take an honest, objective look at yourself. What's motivating you to pursue this relationship so intently in spite of all the obstacles? What deep personal needs are you expecting to satisfy by making a new start with this man?

From where I sit, it looks as if this relationship is lacking something in the way of mutuality. In other words, it's very likely that your lover's feelings for you aren't as strong as you suppose. By your own account, he's proven reluctant to leave his marriage. He's content to keep you on the sidelines instead of making a clean break. It's plain that he doesn't share your sense of urgency and desperation. What do you think that means?

Hard as it may be to bend your mind in this direction, you also need to give some serious consideration to the importance of commitments. I'm still a strong believer in the sacredness, inviolability and permanence of the marital relationship. As I see it, the weight a man attaches to the vows he's made to his wife suggests something about his character. After all, would you really want to take a chance on a man who doesn't honor his commitments? Wouldn't you be plagued by fears that he might someday repeat the pattern by breaking his pledge to you? Past behavior is usually the best predictor of future behavior.

This last thought leads to another. How much do you value yourself? How healthy is your sense of personal worth? These questions are well worth asking. If in the end your lover chooses not to leave his wife, you're going to have to decide who you really are and how you can go on living without him.

I'd encourage you to give some honest thought to this. Take some time to revisit your personal values system. Ask yourself a few probing questions about your larger framework and worldview. Do you have any idea where you came from, where you're going and what your life is all about? Do you sense some kind of deficit in your life? If so, are you aware of anything -- something larger than you or your lover -- that might be able to fill the gap? That's a subject we'd love to discuss with you, if you'd be willing to give us a chance. Please don't hesitate to get in touch with us at (800) A-FAMILY.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Communication has become an issue with our family. It seems that none of us spend time talking anymore. I don't know how this happened, but I'm concerned about how it's affecting our relationships. What can I do to change the situation?

Jim: You're wise to work toward reversing this trend. Regular and open conversation is essential to healthy family relationships. Deep down we all want to know and be known, and talking is absolutely crucial to this process.

Family conversation is especially important because it promotes and bolsters a sense of family identity. When kids possess a healthy sense of belonging they're less apt to experiment with risky behaviors and far more likely to develop strong character.

So where to begin? I'd suggest that the dinner table is a good place to start. You can encourage reluctant children by giving them your undivided attention, practicing active listening and initiating conversation. Use emotion-based rather than fact-based language. In other words, try to get at the feelings family members are experiencing rather than focusing on the things you've been doing. It also helps to have something to talk about -- common interests, mutual accomplishments, collective memories, meaningful stories, perhaps even a shared family hobby like biking, hiking or camping.

Avoid "yes" or "no" questions as much as possible. Instead, try to come up with personal, open-ended questions. For instance:

1) What has been the best and worst part of your week so far? What made it so good or bad?

2) What's the most exciting thing you've heard recently?

3) If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be and why?

For additional ideas on deepening family relationships, visit us on the web at www.FocusOnTheFamily.com or call us at (800) A-FAMILY.

Q: How can we stop our 4-year-old from stealing? I have a feeling he's just being irresponsible -- that he puts things in his pocket and forgets about them. We've talked to him about why this behavior is wrong, but he keeps doing it.

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: It's important to tell your son that stealing is wrong. But it's also crucial to remember that 4-year-olds tend to respond more to actions than words. If you don't back up your reproofs with consequences, children are unlikely to change their behavior.

In your son's case, he needs to know what it feels like when someone takes something from him that he values. Let him know that the next time he takes an item you will be taking something away from him. If it happens again, go into his room while he's occupied elsewhere and remove one of his favorite toys. When he discovers it's missing, tell him you took it and that he won't get it back for a day. Each time the behavior recurs, extend the penalty by an additional day.

In addition, when you discover your son has taken something that doesn't belong to him, have him quickly return it and apologize to the person he took it from. That will cement the lesson in his mind in an immediate and practical way. If the behavior occurs in a classroom setting, you might work with the teacher to set up a restitution plan. For example, your son might have to miss out on a fun activity or stay after class in order to help clean up the room. If you're correct in thinking that your son doesn't actually mean to steal, this plan should correct his behavior rather quickly.

But if the problem persists, his actions may be a manifestation of deeper issues. Our licensed counselors would be pleased to discuss your concerns with you further. Please call them at (800) A-FAMILY.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Our daughter is married to a good, kind, giving man. We love them both very much, but most of the time my daughter is disrespectful and mean to her husband. He's passive and just takes it from her. This upsets our entire family and I'm inclined to speak with my daughter about it. Do you think I should?

Jim: This is a judgment call that requires careful thought and perhaps some outside counsel. In considering your response, it's important to recognize that as an adult your daughter is your peer rather than your "child." I'd also suggest you try to look at her and her husband as if they weren't related to you. By adopting this perspective, you'll be less likely to inappropriately inject yourself into their relationship.

If the quality of your relationship with your daughter is such that you think she'd be open to hearing your concerns, talk to her about your feelings. Again, it's critical that you approach the conversation as a caring friend and not a condemning parent. If your daughter responds positively, you can discuss the problem further and offer ways you might be of encouragement and help.

If, however, she proves resistant to your concerns, I'd recommend you ease off. In many cases, a trusted third party to whom your daughter might be more inclined to listen may prove to be a more effective means of intervening.

Meanwhile, if your daughter's behavior makes everyone uncomfortable, you can remedy the situation by adopting a "my house, my rules" approach. You can't dictate how she should talk to her husband. But you can say, "At my house we have a rule that everybody is to be treated with respect." If your daughter refuses to comply, stop inviting her to family gatherings.

Our staff of licensed counselors would be pleased to help you navigate this sensitive situation. Don't hesitate to call them at (800) A-FAMILY.

Q: Is my 5-year-old son overly attached to his mother? Some days it's almost impossible to separate him from her. He insists that she sit in the back seat of the car with him. Only Mom can clean him up when he makes a mess, and only Mom is allowed to read him a bedtime story. I'm beginning to wonder if he'll ever outgrow this phase.

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: It's important to understand that your son isn't rejecting you. For now, he simply feels more secure with his mom. It's likely he'll outgrow this phase in time if you respond with love, patience and persistence. There are, however, some things you can do that may help the process along.

First, make sure you and your wife are on the same page. Express your concerns openly, and if she agrees that there may be a potential problem, enlist her help in finding more opportunities for you to bond with your son.

You'll want to begin taking an active role in helping your son with his personal needs. Don't give him the option of having Mom do it. Just make it clear -- kindly and gently -- that Dad is going to do the bathing or reading tonight. If his reaction is severe, have your wife sit nearby so her presence reassures him. Transitional measures like this are fine as long as he understands that you are in the picture and involved.

You'll also want to schedule plenty of "Dad time" together. Initiate and engage in new and fun activities that match his interests and personality. This will help him feel known and secure.

If the problem persists, or if your wife is resistant to you taking a more involved role with your son, please give our licensed counselors a call at (800) A-FAMILY.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.