Q: Communication has become an issue with our family. It seems that none of us spend time talking anymore. I don't know how this happened, but I'm concerned about how it's affecting our relationships. What can I do to change the situation?

Jim: You're wise to work toward reversing this trend. Regular and open conversation is essential to healthy family relationships. Deep down we all want to know and be known, and talking is absolutely crucial to this process.

Family conversation is especially important because it promotes and bolsters a sense of family identity. When kids possess a healthy sense of belonging they're less apt to experiment with risky behaviors and far more likely to develop strong character.

So where to begin? I'd suggest that the dinner table is a good place to start. You can encourage reluctant children by giving them your undivided attention, practicing active listening and initiating conversation. Use emotion-based rather than fact-based language. In other words, try to get at the feelings family members are experiencing rather than focusing on the things you've been doing. It also helps to have something to talk about -- common interests, mutual accomplishments, collective memories, meaningful stories, perhaps even a shared family hobby like biking, hiking or camping.

Avoid "yes" or "no" questions as much as possible. Instead, try to come up with personal, open-ended questions. For instance:

1) What has been the best and worst part of your week so far? What made it so good or bad?

2) What's the most exciting thing you've heard recently?

3) If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be and why?

For additional ideas on deepening family relationships, visit us on the web at www.FocusOnTheFamily.com or call us at (800) A-FAMILY.

Q: How can we stop our 4-year-old from stealing? I have a feeling he's just being irresponsible -- that he puts things in his pocket and forgets about them. We've talked to him about why this behavior is wrong, but he keeps doing it.

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: It's important to tell your son that stealing is wrong. But it's also crucial to remember that 4-year-olds tend to respond more to actions than words. If you don't back up your reproofs with consequences, children are unlikely to change their behavior.

In your son's case, he needs to know what it feels like when someone takes something from him that he values. Let him know that the next time he takes an item you will be taking something away from him. If it happens again, go into his room while he's occupied elsewhere and remove one of his favorite toys. When he discovers it's missing, tell him you took it and that he won't get it back for a day. Each time the behavior recurs, extend the penalty by an additional day.

In addition, when you discover your son has taken something that doesn't belong to him, have him quickly return it and apologize to the person he took it from. That will cement the lesson in his mind in an immediate and practical way. If the behavior occurs in a classroom setting, you might work with the teacher to set up a restitution plan. For example, your son might have to miss out on a fun activity or stay after class in order to help clean up the room. If you're correct in thinking that your son doesn't actually mean to steal, this plan should correct his behavior rather quickly.

But if the problem persists, his actions may be a manifestation of deeper issues. Our licensed counselors would be pleased to discuss your concerns with you further. Please call them at (800) A-FAMILY.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Our daughter is married to a good, kind, giving man. We love them both very much, but most of the time my daughter is disrespectful and mean to her husband. He's passive and just takes it from her. This upsets our entire family and I'm inclined to speak with my daughter about it. Do you think I should?

Jim: This is a judgment call that requires careful thought and perhaps some outside counsel. In considering your response, it's important to recognize that as an adult your daughter is your peer rather than your "child." I'd also suggest you try to look at her and her husband as if they weren't related to you. By adopting this perspective, you'll be less likely to inappropriately inject yourself into their relationship.

If the quality of your relationship with your daughter is such that you think she'd be open to hearing your concerns, talk to her about your feelings. Again, it's critical that you approach the conversation as a caring friend and not a condemning parent. If your daughter responds positively, you can discuss the problem further and offer ways you might be of encouragement and help.

If, however, she proves resistant to your concerns, I'd recommend you ease off. In many cases, a trusted third party to whom your daughter might be more inclined to listen may prove to be a more effective means of intervening.

Meanwhile, if your daughter's behavior makes everyone uncomfortable, you can remedy the situation by adopting a "my house, my rules" approach. You can't dictate how she should talk to her husband. But you can say, "At my house we have a rule that everybody is to be treated with respect." If your daughter refuses to comply, stop inviting her to family gatherings.

Our staff of licensed counselors would be pleased to help you navigate this sensitive situation. Don't hesitate to call them at (800) A-FAMILY.

Q: Is my 5-year-old son overly attached to his mother? Some days it's almost impossible to separate him from her. He insists that she sit in the back seat of the car with him. Only Mom can clean him up when he makes a mess, and only Mom is allowed to read him a bedtime story. I'm beginning to wonder if he'll ever outgrow this phase.

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: It's important to understand that your son isn't rejecting you. For now, he simply feels more secure with his mom. It's likely he'll outgrow this phase in time if you respond with love, patience and persistence. There are, however, some things you can do that may help the process along.

First, make sure you and your wife are on the same page. Express your concerns openly, and if she agrees that there may be a potential problem, enlist her help in finding more opportunities for you to bond with your son.

You'll want to begin taking an active role in helping your son with his personal needs. Don't give him the option of having Mom do it. Just make it clear -- kindly and gently -- that Dad is going to do the bathing or reading tonight. If his reaction is severe, have your wife sit nearby so her presence reassures him. Transitional measures like this are fine as long as he understands that you are in the picture and involved.

You'll also want to schedule plenty of "Dad time" together. Initiate and engage in new and fun activities that match his interests and personality. This will help him feel known and secure.

If the problem persists, or if your wife is resistant to you taking a more involved role with your son, please give our licensed counselors a call at (800) A-FAMILY.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My wife and I are giving serious thought to starting a family, and now I'm having second thoughts. The idea of being responsible for a child is daunting enough. But I read a recent report suggesting that parenting often leads to unhappiness. What's your perspective?

Jim: Scientists love to examine the happiness quotient of parents. Year after year studies either find how miserable parents are or how much joy and satisfaction children bring to their parents' lives. One of our staff researchers studied these varied findings and concluded that the reason for the disparity lies in how we define happiness.

Parenthood can be exhausting -- no doubt about it. It's a huge investment of time, money and energy. Couples with young children endure sleep deprivation, and a teenager's back talk can work that last nerve. Still, there's a reason why the happy announcement -- "We're pregnant!" -- is met with celebration.

At some level, we understand that happiness isn't measured by the many things parents sacrifice. There's a deeper satisfaction that comes from living to benefit others and from loving our children well. There's a joy that fills the soul when you see your daughter selflessly serving others or see your son's face light up after he discovers something new and that "aha!" moment strikes. Moments like these make sacrifices worth it. This type of transcendent love causes us to look beyond ourselves and become the people our children need us to be.

As you weigh the prospects of parenting, make sure your definition of happiness lines up with a long-term perspective. If you do, I think you'll see that bringing a new life into this world and then loving and guiding him or her along the way offers a meaningfulness and joy unmatched by any other human endeavor.

Q: Is it a bad idea to become romantically involved with a co-worker? I think I'm in love with a guy at work, but I'm not entirely certain about his feelings for me. Any advice?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: You're wise to tread cautiously. Many office romances end in disaster. Here's a typical scenario: A couple begins dating, the relationship doesn't work out, and they break up. If there are hard feelings, the working environment can become a nightmare. This is true not only for the couple themselves but for their co-workers. Some corporations have a "non-fraternization" policy for this very reason.

On the other hand, some office romances work out fine, especially when they involve two mature and thoughtful individuals. Much depends on the nature of the work relationship. Generally speaking, it's inadvisable to date a supervisor or a subordinate. The best case is when two people work in completely separate departments. Then if the relationship sours, there's not the awkwardness of interacting with each other every day.

If your co-worker hasn't openly expressed any romantic interest in you, be careful of jumping to conclusions. Don't read too much into the fact that you've had some nice conversations or feel a sense of chemistry with him. Guard your heart. Avoid building up a romantic fantasy in your mind. If his feelings for you are something more than friendly, you'll know soon enough. Use the time to get to know him before allowing your emotions to run away with you. Watch him on the job. See how he interacts with fellow employees. Then ask yourself if he displays the strong character that you want in a dating and marriage partner.

Finally, I'd encourage you to grab a copy of a great book, "The Dating Manifesto," by my colleague Lisa Anderson. I guarantee you'll be glad you did.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.