Q: I've connected with a young woman from another state on the Internet. We've talked a lot on the phone and are interested in exploring our relationship further, but so far we've never met in person. Do you have any advice as to how we should proceed?

Jim: I'd encourage you to set up a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. Bring a list of questions for each other and maximize your time together by making an intentional effort to get to know each other better. This may seem a bit strained and awkward -- operating in "agenda mode." But it's really the best way to get from where you are to where you want to be. Whatever you do, avoid muddling around in cyberspace.

Why do we say this? Because while online dating can be a useful tool for initiating contact with another person, the Internet is not the place to develop meaningful and lasting relationships. For that, you need lots of time and plenty of face-to-face interaction.

In view of this, I'd recommend allowing at least a year to develop and deepen your relationship should you both decide to pursue things further. You may be tempted to believe that technology will enable you to cut corners, but it simply isn't true. Insist on reality and accept no substitutes.

A word about trust and trustworthiness as you embark upon this journey: In the beginning, it's important to guard your heart and resist the temptation to trust the other person too easily. Instead, work on becoming trustworthy yourself. Rather than "selling" yourself, make up your mind to be a man of integrity -- honest, upright and forthcoming in all your dealings with people. If you can do this, you'll be laying a solid foundation for the kind of love that can last a lifetime.

Q: What are some reasonable financial goals for newlyweds? My husband is already talking about buying a house and new car. Meanwhile, I'm concerned about paying rent and buying groceries.

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Finances are an important part of the marriage relationship, and working together to establish healthy financial goals and attitudes before the wedding is a wise move. Equally critical, however, is the need to concentrate on getting to know each other and strengthening the bonds of intimacy.

This being the case, I'd encourage you to not get ahead of, and overextend, yourselves financially. It's easy for young couples to assume that getting married means diving into the "adult world" as they've observed it at home, complete with all the possessions and pleasures of their parents' current lifestyle. But this is a serious mistake. For one thing, it's unrealistic. For another, it's a dangerous diversion from more important priorities.

Here are a few tips that can help you get started on the road to financial security and marital intimacy.

-- Think in terms of "we," not "me." This means abandoning selfish attitudes and sharing all of your resources, whether spiritual, emotional or material.

-- Live within your means and practice self-discipline. If you can't afford something, don't buy it.

-- Be intentional about creating a workable financial plan, giving generously and strategically building your financial resources step by step.

-- Don't make major financial decisions without talking them over thoroughly.

-- Sit down together at least once a month and create a spending plan. This will enhance your communication and encourage healthy decision-making in all aspects of your marriage.

If finances are becoming a bone of contention, I invite you to call us at 855-771-4357 for a referral to a trained counselor who can help you examine your relationship and determine which areas need to be shored up.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Can you offer any insight as to why my 13-year-old daughter has become so contrary about everything? She often seems eager to distance herself from me. I'm not a controlling parent, but it's tough to see how she's acting all of a sudden.

Jim: I understand where you're coming from. Commenting on the struggle parents experience during the teen years, my friend, psychologist and best-selling author Dr. John Townsend, nails the issue when he says it's "because we're needed the most and wanted the least."

Our teenagers need us as much as ever during this turbulent period, but they typically don't want us interfering in their lives. It's a necessary and healthy tension, but one which inevitably leads to conflict.

That's a huge reason why this season is often rough for parents. Understanding that your teen probably isn't trying to make your home miserable may help defuse some of the emotion. But even then, behavioral challenges must still be addressed.

In advising parents how to channel their child's misdirected energy toward more productive outcomes, Townsend suggests four pillars to help guide our interactions with our teenagers:

-- The first is love. No matter what behavior they choose, children need to know their parents love them unconditionally.

-- The second is truth. Families must speak truth to one another kindly. Even if they disagree vigorously on certain subjects, they can, and should, do so respectfully.

-- The third is freedom. Parents don't "give" freedom to their teens. Teens can choose whether to obey or disobey the rules. But ...

-- The flip side to the third pillar is the fourth: consequences. In the same way teenagers have the freedom to choose their own behavior, they also choose -- and must be allowed to experience -- the consequences that go with it.

Q: Do you have any advice for a woman whose husband is being paroled next month after having served time for armed-robbery? I'm eager to have him back home and resume a normal relationship, but at the same time I'm feeling anxious about what to expect.

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: You're wise to consider this question beforehand. As you know, your marriage has suffered serious trauma, and it's best to be guarded against unrealistic expectations. Your situation is not one of just picking up where you left off. For your relationship to continue successfully, you and your husband will need to intentionally prepare yourselves for some significant changes.

The first thing I'd encourage you to do is to talk things over with your husband before his release, either in writing or during a face-to-face visit. You might communicate something like, "I still love you and am willing to trust you again, but I'm wrestling with lots of doubts and unanswered questions." If there are deep emotional issues or problems from the past that need to be addressed, it would be a good idea to get the help of an objective and trusted third party in preparing for your conversation.

I'd also recommend communicating with correction officials to learn what kind of track record your spouse has had during his imprisonment. Is he a reformed man? Or is it likely that old behaviors will emerge once he's out? These questions are vital to your own safety and the well-being of any children at home.

With this last thought in mind, we would suggest that you consider separate living arrangements initially while getting marriage counseling from a trained therapist. We'd be happy to provide you with a list of qualified counselors in your area. Please call us at 855-771-4357.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Is there a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation in a case of marital infidelity? A year ago, I discovered that my husband had resumed a previous long-term emotional affair with a friend of mine. Their relationship has ended and I believe I've forgiven him, although I'm still having a hard time trusting or feeling any affection for him.

Jim: I'm sorry to hear of the deep hurt you've experienced. There are, in fact, some very significant distinctions between forgiveness and reconciliation. For one thing, forgiveness is an individual decision, whereas reconciliation is a joint venture. Forgiveness is an element in the larger process of reconciliation. Without true forgiveness there can be no reconciliation, but one can forgive without necessarily being reconciled. A great deal depends on the other person's response.

There's also an important difference between the choice of forgiveness and the emotion of forgiveness. Once you've determined to let go of a past offense, it can sometimes take a while for your feelings to catch up with your cognitive decision. Changes of this nature don't usually happen overnight.

Given the circumstances, your emotions are completely understandable. You husband must give you the time you need to work through those feelings of betrayal and invalidation. He must also realize that before there can be true reconciliation, he needs to respond to your forgiveness by taking the initiative to rebuild trust into the relationship. That means acknowledging his betrayal, entering into your pain, and demonstrating daily his fidelity, reliability and trustworthiness as a person. That's what repentance is all about.

In the meantime, your task is to stay open to trusting him again in spite of the baggage of the past.

If you'd like to discuss your situation further with one of our caring licensed counselors, I'd encourage you to call us at 855-771-HELP (4357). They'll be happy to assist you in any way they can.

Q: We're considering our family's plans for the summer, and a friend suggested that a camp experience could be really good for our kids. What do you think?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: I'd encourage you to give it some serious thought. Summer camp can provide a child with some unforgettable memories along with opportunities to stretch themselves physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually in a fun-filled environment. Today's camps are designed to accommodate and meet a wide range of interests and needs with something for almost everyone, from the intellectually curious child to the sports-minded and physically active, as well as those with special needs or specific health challenges. Other camps are faith-based, with an emphasis on encouraging spiritual growth.

While weighing different options, it's important to consider not only your child's particular interests, but also their personality, temperament and stage of development. For instance, if your child tends to be anxious or is younger than fifth grade, it's generally best to begin with short day camps. Preteens and teens, on the other hand, are usually ready to begin experiencing the healthy independence that overnight camps can offer. In either situation, connecting your child with another attendee beforehand can help reduce apprehension and facilitate deeper bonds between campers.

With summer on the horizon and many camps filling up in the early spring, I'd encourage you to introduce the idea and begin exploring options with your kids. If you're not sure where to start, Focus on the Family would be happy to put you in touch with several excellent camps and camp organizations. Feel free to call us at 800-A-FAMILY.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.